Trust Me, Darling
by TARossum
Summary: Do you believe in destiny?
1. Chapter 1

Roman Reigns's promo, reminding everybody his excellent performance during the Royal Rumble match when he eliminated 12 opponents, among others his teammates Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins, was coming to an end and it was time for Renee to make an interview with the Hounds of Justice.

A big approving smile appeared on Roman's face as the video was over.

„Roman, we just saw highlights from your historic night at the Royal Rumble," Renee opened the backstage segment. „But now, you, Seth and Dean face perhaps your biggest challenge in Wyatt Family in 6-man tag match at the Elimination Chamber," she continued. „And the Wyatt Family actually got some pretty harsh words for you, guys, lately, do you have a response to that?"

Renee placed her microphone in front of Roman who was ready to answer her question.

„Babygirl," he tried to charm her with his confidence and sweetness, but her reaction was rather cold and ignorant. "Actions always speak louder than words, remember that," he finished his part without letting people see his disappointment.

When it was Seth's turn to continue, Roman shook his head a little in disbelief, but it referred to Seth's words as well so nobody would notice.

"Wyatts love to speak in riddles," Seth professionally noted before getting even stricter. "Renee, we don't. We speak in absolutes," he said as his gimmick was getting the best of him.

"As in," Dean crazily shouted to get everybody's attention, "we will absolutely destroy," he calmed down to continue, "the Wyatt Family at Elimination Chamber."

"Dean, on another topic, there's actually been some talks lately about the fact that you haven't defended your United States Championship in quite some time," Renee focused on Dean but made a brief eye contact with Seth while asking Dean, "do you have a comment on that?"

He switched on his crazy mode and let his character come to life making the best use of gesture and posture as he countered Renee, "So am I supposed to just pull out a United States Championship match and contenders out of thin air, is that what I am supposed to do? You know how this works?" Dean asked Renee what made her feel uncomfortable but he felt confident and natural in this kind of environment. "Do you know how much paper work goes into something like this?" he finished his part and looked at Roman who was calling his name and was about to make Dean's Championship reign a joke.

"What are you talking about, man?" Roman smiled and was glad it was his time to speak again.

On the other hand, Seth, standing in the middle, was being kept out of the conversation so the only thing he could do was to observe and hope people would still notice him reacting to the situation by closing his eyes and making meaningful head movements.

"What kind of champion do you wanna be?" Roman continued while keeping his cool.

Unlike Dean, who was losing his temper and saying, "I resent that," while pointing a finger at Roman. "Alright? The bottom line is," he continued to make excuses, "there's nobody in this company with the _guts_," he emphasized, "to try to step up and take this," he said while making sure everybody knew he was talking about his championship belt, "away from me. I'll prove it tonight. I'll put up an open challenge. _Tonight_," he shouted, "U.S. title on the line." He turned the crazy level down and smoothly continued, "Anybody who wants to step up, I will remind the world," he changed his attitude and spoke loudly again, "that _I_," he said, then made a pause so that it would kick his speech up a notch, ". . . am the Champion," he finished and casually walked away.

His partners watched him, Seth a little confused, Roman smiling, before the scene changed, and the cameras around them went off.

Only after the end of their segment, Roman burst into laughing and Seth soon joined him.

"Nice one, Dean," Seth appreciated his mate's performance. "You almost got me," he joked.

"Yeah, for a second I got scared of myself," he admitted jokingly. "But I really enjoyed the scene. The aftermath . . .," he sighed, ". . . not so much fun."

"Come on, man," Roman joined them, "I'm really looking forward to you cowardly trying to escape Mark Henry."

"Why are they trying to make me look like a pussy? I could totally beat that guy up if we were in a real fight," he tried to convince them.

"Yeah, right," Roman just kept laughing at him.

"No, no, wait!" Seth started. "I can totally see you two in a dark alley when nobody's around and you hit him over and over again, add some kicks, old-school style, while he _begs_ you to stop but you, as crazy as you are, enjoy seeing him in pain so you hit him into his stomach before you lift his half-unconscious body and throw it at the fence nearby," Seth made fun of him.

Dean pretended to be offended so he made random mouth movements and played with his hands angrily.

"But don't worry," Roman patted his shoulder. "We've got your back."

"Fuck you, guys," Dean exclaimed.

Then he looked at Renee who was still standing nearby enjoying their little fight and commanded her, "Tell them, Renee, that I would win in a fight with Mark Henry."

She didn't expect him to ask for her support or anything but she knew how to respond even without imagining the fight.

"Of course," she smiled. Then she tried to charm them all by saying, "Any of you would win. You've got what it takes. You're the Shield and I believe in the Shield," she played her part.

Seth had to smile at her as her words really pleased him. He even let out a little "aww." Then he reached for her hand and pulled her closer to him to hug her.

"That's why you're my favorite interviewer, Renee," he told her.

She looked at Dean who was approvingly looking back at her, but when she turned to see Roman's reaction, he was rather ignorant.

Seth noticed it too. "What's wrong, man?" he asked him. "Don't you appreciate how sweet this little girl is?"

"Nah, I don't care whether she's sweet or not. She's not gonna win me over that easily after what she did."

"What have I done?" she wanted to know as she wasn't aware of anything what might have upset the future main-eventer.

"_What have I done?_" he repeated sarcastically in a girly voice. "You totally ignored me calling you a babygirl," he reminded her.

"Oh, that's right," Seth realized. "You acted like it was nothing special."

"Yeah. I mean, I gave you some of my best flirting and you blew it off."

"I'm so sorry," she tried to make it up to him. "I guess I was too focused on the next line," she made an excuse so that Roman would forgive her.

"Or," Dean joined the conversation, "you don't have it. I didn't give a fuck about your pick-up line so I don't know what happened there, but I remember me flirting with Renee during one interview few weeks ago and I clearly delivered."

"I don't remember that," Roman said.

"Come on. You have to remember how I called Renee _darling_," he repeated it while looking at her and he could see the exact reaction he hoped to get. "See," he pointed at her while still talking to Roman. "That's how you seduce a woman," he smiled confidently.

"Leave it guys," Seth interrupted them. "Babygirl failed. And darling . . . not bad, Dean, but wait until it's my turn and then you'll see some first-class flirting," he assured them.

Then he kissed Renee on the top of her head and left. The other two followed him, but before being out of Renee's sight she could clearly hear Dean mumbling "I totally won."

But Renee was the only one who knew the true reason behind different receptions of their pick-up lines. It wasn't that she didn't notice Roman's babygirl part. It just didn't work on her. Roman was handsome and everything, but she didn't have a thing going for him. She also liked Seth but he was more of a brother to her, that's why she supposed she would look ignorant again when he would be the one delivering the line. But Dean . . . oh, Dean, that was a totally different story.

For some time now, she thought, no, she _knew_, that his charm was working on her. She didn't know why, but she felt attracted to him. She could say that he had no idea, and she wanted it to stay that way. She hoped that it was just some crush and it would go away eventually. But until then she might get into some trouble because of it. It was difficult for her to focus, keep her cool, especially when she was looking directly at him. And situations when they were sharing an eye contact were simply unbearable. When he was near her, she just wished to kiss him, and she spent some time imagining what it would be like. What it would be like if she told him how she felt and he felt the same. But that situation seemed too dreamy and unrealistic. It was probably best for her to let it go and shut her emotions down. She was a professional after all and she wouldn't allow her feelings get in the way of her career.


	2. Chapter 2

„And that was when I realized I was fucked. There was no way out of that. I was gonna get hit big time," Dean finished his little story.

"Yeah. . . . Like I'm gonna believe that," Seth replied. "You made that up," he refused to admit that Dean's story was real. He looked at Roman whose eyebrows were lifted in disbelief.

"Why would some bartender want to hit you in the first place?" Roman wondered.

"Because I was hitting on his wife. Did you even listen to me?" he was getting irritated.

"No, I mean," Roman tried to make himself clear, "didn't he know you? Didn't he know what you are capable of? Or even if he didn't know that you are a professional wrestler, he must have seen that you are a big guy."

Dean finally saw the inconsistency of his story. "Well," he tried to convince them anyway, "he was strong too and I guess he was pretty confident in beating other guys up."

"Just admit it's bullshit."

"Maybe it didn't happen that way," Dean admitted under the pressure.

"And maybe it didn't happen at all," Seth nonchalantly uttered.

Dean narrowed his eyes and tried to think of a way to win the battle that was turning unfavorably against him. However, ultimately he decided to let it go and smiled at them. "Think whatever you want, I don't care. I had sex with her."

"Oh," Roman laughed. "So that's the point of whole story? You got laid? I cannot believe I listened to you instead of going back to the hotel. I'm outta here," he announced. He continued shaking his head on the way to the locker room to get his stuff.

"So true," Seth added before Roman got out of sight. Then he smiled and high-fived Dean. "Nice," he expressed his satisfaction with his partner's success. "But really, what happened?" Seth couldn't hide his interest and curiousness.

"Ok, I'll tell you the true story," Dean started. The enthusiastic attitude implied it could be an interesting story too. "So when you and Roman left the bar, I stayed for a while and looked for some amusement."

"I see," Seth followed.

"And I spotted this chick sitting all alone looking all sad and vulnerable," he continued. "I thought she might be an easy target," he confessed happily. "And she wasn't very pretty, either."

"So . . . you went all Jon Moxley?" Seth guessed, being excited about the plot as much as being disgusted by it.

One could suddenly see a wicked look in Dean's eyes as he was ready to give Seth a precise description of what happened that night, but before he could continue, he noticed that Renee was walking toward them, and he didn't want her to overhear anything. It was not a story that a woman like her should hear.

"Hey, Renee," he welcomed her among them, but she didn't notice him at first because she was too focused on the script she was holding in her hands. She could possibly and very easily bump into something, but so far she succeeded in avoiding objects in front of her.

"Oh, hi," she lifted her head and politely responded.

"You work too hard," Seth told her, seeing her preparing for her interview with Randy Orton.

"Come on, it's just an interview. It's not like I'm risking my life in the ring like you, guys," she appreciated their hard work. "By the way, great match."

While she was talking to them, she was only looking at Seth, she didn't want to know what would happen if she even only glanced at Dean.

"It was, wasn't it?" Seth got all enthusiastic. "And that chaos at the very end. . . ." he was raving about their performance in the ring. "You know, Renee," he looked at her, "at the times like these, I wish I could be a spectator."

"You are still a fan rather than a wrestler."

"I really am," he confessed to her. "And I'm such a big fan of the Shield," he placed his hand on his heart and gave her a nostalgic look, "I don't want them to break up."

Then he shared a much understood look with his fellow pal who played his part in the scene perfectly. They placed their hand on each other's shoulder and shared something of a hug.

"I'm gonna miss you," Seth admitted half-joking, half-honest.

"I just can't wait to kick your ass," Dean ended it his way.

Renee was watching them; or rather she was watching only Dean. She knew she shouldn't; she forbade herself to do it, to distract herself by staring at him, but she couldn't help herself, she had to break her promise. And when she realized what she was doing it was too late to stop; she was falling for him.

"Anyway, I'm glad you're here, Renee, otherwise this improvised scene would be just sad," Seth said in hope to hear quite the opposite from her.

But she didn't want to take his side. She knew him well enough, so she teased him instead. "You're totally right. It would be pathetic," she told him. "Moreover, you just broke your gimmick. See that camera over there?" she asked him as she pointed at a not-so-well-hidden camera standing few feet away. "It might be recording," she continued, not even trying to persuade him that the apparent lie she made up was true.

"She's right," Dean played along. "You should be more careful about things you say. If people heard you, nobody would believe that you are a heel. It's difficult enough when you pose with your cute little dog all the time."

"I don't," he tried to protest, but then let it fade out as it was kind of true.

He was ready to walk away, pissed, but he turned back to Dean and added, "You know what, Dean? Next time I'll let him bite you!"

Dean sarcastically laughed at Seth's poor attempt at being funny.

As Seth was passing through the corridor to leave, he stopped at the camera and threw a piece of cloth over it because although he knew they were just joking, he got a bit paranoid.

"Don't you think it was a little harsh?" Renee expressed her worries once Seth was gone.

"No. We're always teasing each other like that. I know the boundaries. I wouldn't want to cross any line and really piss him off, because we're sharing a road to the hotel."

"Right," she mumbled and nervously rolled papers in her hands.

"Are you alright?" Dean asked as he noticed her suddenly strange behavior.

"Sure," she responded shortly and thought about a legitimate to reason to leave, but as her interview with Randy wouldn't start until about ten minutes, she had no excuse. As awkward as she knew it would be, she simply said, "Ok." She sighed. "See you later."

She didn't even care anymore how desperate and suspicious that attempt was; all she wanted was to be somewhere away from the danger named Dean Ambrose.

He could see that she was nervous but didn't say anything because she evidently was not in mood to talk about it. He was about to let her go but in the moment that she stepped aside, he opened his mouth and called her, "Renee!"

She immediately turned around, his eyes striking hers as he wished her in a deep sexy voice, "Happy Valentine's Day!"

He was thinking about wishing it to somebody the whole day. Actually, he preferred to tell it to her. And when she was about to leave, he remembered and couldn't resist.

"It's not Valentine's day," she responded, surprised but flattered.

He was ready for that reaction. "I know. But since we're taping Smackdown which will air on Valentine's Day, it kind of is."

"Fair enough," she admitted.

Then she approached him again, still staring into his beautiful eyes. He was smiling at her, forgetting what he wanted to say next.

"Happy Valentine's Day to you, too."

She was charmed by him and totally forgot about reality. She didn't care where she was or what time it was. She wanted to stay in that moment forever. And suddenly she knew that it was more than a crush.

"Renee!" somebody called for at least third time.

It took one more shout for her to turn around and notice what was going on.

"What are you doing here? Your interview with Randy is up in three minutes."

"Oh god!" she exclaimed. "I totally forgot about that."

She quickly scanned through the papers, then ran her hand through her blonde hair and automatically asked, "How do I look?"

The backstage assistant was there to guide her to the place where the interview was taking place, but before she left the corridor where she stood with Dean, she could swear she heard a response to her question. She was almost sure she heard him say something. Or did she? Maybe he didn't say anything. Maybe Dean didn't compliment her by saying, "Gorgeous."


	3. Chapter 3

Last Monday on Raw, Mark Henry challenged current U.S. Champion Dean Ambrose, one third of the impactful faction The Shield, for a United States Championship. Dean eventually lost but since it was due to disqualification he was still the champion and it would stay that way at least until the next pay-per-view, The Elimination Chamber. Mark Henry didn't leave the ring that night as a winner since he was attacked by Seth Rollins, and finally speared by the muscle of The Shield, Roman Reigns.

This was reminded to the viewers in a short video summary of the match with a not-so-important result. It was more to show people that Roman Reigns was really on his way to stardom, and with his memorable finisher, hunter-like look and wrestling-family background he got all it took to become a champion. Nobody doubted that, everybody already knew what plans the management had prepared for him. Today he was booked to have a match against Mark Henry and it was more than certain that he would walk out of the ring as a winner.

In reality, Mark Henry match only served as a relevant reason for Roman and Dean to have a little "exchange of opinions" in an interview, and to continue to prepare fans for the inevitable split of The Shield, a group that would tomorrow be one year and three months old. The end of them was coming; it was only question of days or weeks. Nevertheless, before that would happen, there were still few matches that needed them to be a team, especially highly-anticipated match with The Wyatt Family this Sunday at the Elimination Chamber.

It became a tradition for Renee Young to interview The Shield during either Monday Night Raw or Friday Night Smackdown. There was enough chemistry in those segments, people really enjoyed it, and they could never know what would happen, especially when the mouth of the faction, Dean Ambrose, spoke up. There were some expectable moments though, Roman and Dean getting above each other and making the tension rise, Seth being a peace-maker between those two, and finally hearing "Believe in the Shield" and seeing their fists in unison at the very end.

When Renee's pretty face appeared on the screen, she said the one phrase she always used, in some variations, "Ladies and gentleman, please welcome my guests joining me now, The Shield." It was not necessary to introduce them since everybody already knew she would interview the group of three dangerous men, all dressed in black.

When they approached her, she first briefly looked up at Dean, who was coming from her left side, knowing it was time for her to shut her confusion with her feelings towards him down. She looked away, and then she focused on Roman, who would be the first to answer her questions.

"Roman, tonight you're going one-on-one with the world strongest man, Mark Henry," she opened the segment. "This is a man –" she continued, when she was rudely interrupted by Dean, standing behind her, who was until now more focused on his own fingernails than Renee's words.

"Mark Henry?" he repeated in amazement.

Renee turned to face Dean and placed microphone next to him.

"I'm surprised he even showed up tonight after the beating I gave him last week." Dean had an aura of confidence spreading around him as he spoke, and regularly switched between looking at Roman and Renee.

Roman and Seth started smiling sarcastically and Roman countered, "Dean, what are you talking about, man? You lost," he reminded him the fact that Dean was evidently forgetting.

Dean dedicated Roman an intimidating look, as he tried to defend his truth. "Look, Mark Henry's no walk in a park. I softened him up a little bit for ya." Dean employed his hands as he frequently used to. On the other hand, his partners always seemed to prefer just one or two positions for their hands, Roman on his belt and Seth often switched between resting one on his chest and letting them both hang freely. Nothing too adventurous. "But you'll find that out tonight," Dean continued. "But I guess you think you can do better." His arms were spread as if they were wings and he was an eagle ready to take off.

"I know I can," Roman corrected him, keeping his serious look on. Unlike Dean who presented a little explosion of disbelief.

Meanwhile, Seth was quiet, as usually, but he was having fun of his own. He watched Dean and Roman's fight and it seemed like he totally forgot that this was just a part of their job. He got so hung up on those two, and enjoyed every word they said, every movement they made, as if he was a spectator at the National Theater. For a moment, it seemed like he had a crush on them, and in that case, Renee was handling hers better than him. Or, actually no, not really. Both Renee and Seth were caught up on them and kind of acted like twins with their almost-synchronized admiration and head movements.

Before it could get ugly, Renee interrupted them. "Don't you think that the three of you all need to get on the same page before your huge six-man tag match –"

Once again, she was interrupted, but this time it was by Seth, who finally woke up from his "fascination sleep" and took part in the interview.

"Renee, Renee," he addressed her repeatedly, "I appreciate what you're trying to do here, I really do." He breathed in to continue, "But you gotta understand, we are always on the same page," he tried to convince her, as Roman nodded to support the statement. "And as for the Wyatts at Elimination Chamber, The Shield was born and bred for war." He made a pause so that people could absorb what he just said. "That will never change, sweetheart."

It was finally his time to refer to Renee by using a word of endearment, and he hoped it would work out and be received well. But once again, Renee sort of ignored his try. In some way, it was even worse than with Roman. Maybe it was really because she got interested in the conversation between Roman and Dean and poor Seth just chose bad time for his "sweetheart." Besides, she expected him to use the phrase soon so it was no surprise when he did. And thirdly, and most importantly, he was Seth, he was the kind of guy she liked albeit never thought of him as something more than a friend. One could consider him friendzoned, but he wasn't interested in Renee either, he had a girlfriend, so it worked for them. "Sweetheart" was just something he used for the audience and for his fans. He was sure that his female fanbase would be more than glad to hear him say a word like that.

"Bray Wyatt?" Dean spoke up again. "His little family? They're an illusion." One could see that he was in his crazy mode again, and shifted his balance point from side to side. "Their mindgames don't work on us because The _Shield_," he shouted, "is real."

Renee kept staring into Dean's eyes for more time than it was necessary, and when she was to move the microphone in front of Roman, she found herself still gazing there. Well, so what. . . . Seth did the exact same thing with Roman.

"We don't experience fear," Roman continued. He was an absolute opposite of Dean. He kept still and calm. His voice was steady, eyes focused. "And we don't back down," he finished the sentence. Then he looked into the camera to say their catchphrase. "Believe that. And believe in The Shield." He kept an eye contact with whoever was watching the segment to make them believe, but they already did. Since the day The Shield debuted and started functioning as a most devastating wrestling faction in modern day, through their multiple victories and manifestations of their raw power and violent behavior, everybody watching WWE had already had to realize that The Shield was real and to be believed in.

To end the segment, Renee moved aside to let all three members of The Shield, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, and Dean Ambrose, stand side by side. Then they joined their fists in the gesture more powerful that all the words. It was to let people know that no matter what, they still are a team and they are ready to destroy anybody to prove The Shield is and always will be the best, the strongest, and the most impactful faction that exists.


	4. Chapter 4

„Okay," Seth said after they shot the segment. He sighed, smiled, although he was not amused. In reality, he was rather amazed. „I've got no idea what happened there," he expressed his confusion.

"What are you talking about?" Roman wondered, with his hand going through his long black hair. Not showing any real interest, he placed his hand on his neck to massage it. He got enough time to move it to either side before Seth finally decided to respond.

But first he looked at Renee who already knew she screwed up. Again. "Do you ignore us on purpose?" he asked her, not being really mad though, just curious.

"No. I. . . ." she tried to find the right words instead of saying first thing that would come to her mind. "I don't know why I did it."

"Or, more like didn't do it," Seth corrected her.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized, but she would prefer to disappear and avoid talking about it.

"Seriously," Seth continued, "there's gotta be a reason. And it cannot be my poor delivery because you did the same thing to Roman last week. We cannot both suck."

"Yeah," Roman agreed with his teammate. "And don't say it's just your professionalism because in that case you put your values aside when you reacted to Dean on Smackdown a couple of weeks ago," he stated, what brought Dean to the conversation.

"Well," he said confidently, "I guess she likes me more."

At the moment Renee hated Dean for two reasons. Firstly, for the arrogant way Dean pronounced it, and secondly, because it was true. But that was something Renee couldn't admit because she didn't want anybody, and especially not Dean, to know.

"That's bullshit," Roman shouted in Dean's face.

Seth reacted differently. He kept quiet and couldn't put that thought away. It seemed to him that it would be a legitimate reason for Renee's reaction. There were other options to explain it, but there was something about her liking him more.

"It's true," Dean opposed. "The way I see it, I'm her favorite member of The Shield, deal with it," he told them, and to make them believe in his "special" powers, he placed his arm on Renee's shoulder and pulled her toward him.

Renee was feeling very uncomfortable; this time she didn't even enjoy being so close to the person she had feelings for. He made it look like he owned her, and, in some way, he certainly did, but that was something Dean was not aware of. His only goal was to prove his colleagues that he was better at flirting than they were. There could be an explanation to it. Since Dean was not in a serious relationship, when he wanted to hook up with some chick, he had to charm her first. And after all the years of trying, failing, and defining the best plan to get a girl to sleep with him, now he was sort of an expert in the field of seduction.

He didn't need to explain facts to Seth and Roman, he didn't want them to realize relevant reasons for his success and their fails; the only important thing was that he was the only one who triumphed in this little competitive game.

"And once again, I am the master. Right, darling?" The way he put it, he sounded like he was in his character and forgot he was not on TV anymore. He sounded like an asshole type of guy. He usually wasn't like that, but when he realized he won, his jerk side got the better of him. He treated her like his property, like a trophy he won.

But Renee wouldn't leave it like that. She showed all of them that Dean didn't really win her, and pushed first his arm and then him away, looking all disgusted by his selfish behavior.

"Don't worry, Dean, next time I'll ignore you too," she said, squeezing his ego and showing her powerful side. One thing that she wouldn't let him see was that he hurt her.

He was surprised by her saying that, but he didn't let that show in a real way, rather as an act which he would normally use in a promo.

"See, Dean," Roman addressed his words to the man standing in front of him, "you took it too far. Now you scared her," he joked.

At that point, Renee was fully aware of their heights and felt intimidated by it. She started to feel like a pet they were playing with.

"Leave her alone, guys," Seth suddenly spoke up after a long moment of contemplating.

"Sorry, Renee," Roman apologized to her immediately, unlike Dean who didn't feel like apologizing even though he knew he was the one that should. He played with her like a cat with a mouse and he knew he made her uncomfortable on more than one occasion during past few minutes.

"Dean?" Seth turned to him to get him say sorry as well.

When he still didn't say anything, Roman looked at him too, very seriously, to make him realize that the fun was over and that he should man up, swallow his pride and do the right thing.

"That's alright," Renee interrupted, as she knew Seth and Roman's afford was useless.

"Dean," Roman whispered to him in a persuasive voice, and gave him one last chance to act adequately to his age.

Instead, Dean just nervously bit his lip. Then he turned around and left.

"What the hell was that?" Roman asked Seth, but he just shrugged his shoulders in disbelief of what all of them just witnessed.

"I don't know, man. That was weird even for him."

"He crossed the line. He went too far."

"Guys, guys!" Renee tried to make them listen to her. "It's okay. Nothing happened. Just leave it."

"No," Roman refused. "He cannot act that way. I'm gonna talk to him," he informed them, and then followed Dean into the locker room.

"Well, we can be sure that Dean won't explain his behavior," Seth told Renee. "But now that we're alone, maybe you can explain me yours."

Renee got even more uncomfortable than before. Did Seth suspect something? It seemed so. But how could he know?

"I told you I was focused on the interview. When I realized what you said, it was too late to give you a proper reaction," she lied to him.

"Renee," he made her look him in the eye, "tell me, was Dean right?" he demanded a direct answer.

She was about to say that she had no idea what he was talking about, but that would only make it worse for her. He would immediately know that was another lie. She couldn't stay quiet either, she had to say something. There were many sentences on her mind that she could use, but none of them was good enough. She had to come up with something clever, preferably distracting. She looked around for some inspiration but Seth quickly noticed he was in charge.

"Okay. Just answer this question. Is there a particular reason why you reacted differently to Dean than to Roman and me?"

Renee had no choice but to confirm it by nodding silently.

Although Seth expected his suspicion to turn out to be true, now that she admitted to him than he was right, he was surprised. He was imagining Renee with Dean. He was confused but also curious. He wondered how that would work out for them.

"Are you in –"

Renee had to interrupt him before he could finish that sentence. "No!" she shouted, but quietly so that nobody except for Seth could hear it. "I'm not _in love_," she said as if it was something bad or forbidden, "with him."

"But you like him, don't you?" he asked, all happy about the news.

"Yes," she admitted but then added, "but I also like you. And Roman. And many other people."

"You know what I mean. . . ." Seth smiled at her.

"It's just a crush, ok?" she tried to convince him as well as herself. "It'll go away."

Before Seth could pose her another question that she didn't want to hear or answer, Summer Rae came to them to talk to Renee. For once, Renee was glad she didn't have to talk to Seth anymore. She really liked him, but now he knew too much and he became a person she would avoid, if she could.

"Hey, Summer, what's up?" he welcomed her. Then he looked at Renee one more time. "We'll get back to it later," he smiled as if it was something pleasant. Well, it was for him. Renee, on the other hand, hated that he knew the truth. It meant that she could not pretend everything was normal and her feelings for Dean didn't exist.


	5. Chapter 5

When all Superstars, who in an instance filled the ring and started fighting each other as a little preview for the Elimination Chamber on Sunday, abandoned the ring after the Monday Night Raw was over, everybody headed to their locker rooms to change and leave the arena. Actually many of them planned to go to the bar afterwards to get some drinks and talk about big events that were going to take place soon, such as the Elimination Chamber, start of the WWE Network, which was scheduled on Monday, and most importantly, WrestleMania XXX. There were important matches ahead of them and they were really looking forward to them, as much as fans who seemed to be excited about the upcoming pay-per-view. After all, this one would probably be a lot better than the Royal Rumble in January. With at least two much anticipated matches, the match between The Wyatt Family and The Shield and then the Elimination Chamber match, there was really something to look forward to.

Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns were changing and talking about both their today on-screen appearances and their Sunday match but their partner Dean Ambrose was nowhere in sight. It seemed that they didn't notice, though. After all, they were not alone in the locker room and it often happened that they "lost" one of them. But this time, even if they looked around in an attempt to find him, they would not succeed. He was not in there.

Right after the lights went off, Dean, still in his ring gear, headed somewhere else. He had some business to do and he wouldn't feel satisfied until he fixed something. That was why he walked all the way through the hall until he finally reached the women's, or Divas', locker room. He knocked on the door and waited. It didn't take long because one of the Divas was right beside the door when she heard the gentle, maybe even unsure, knocking. When the door opened, the first girl he saw was Emma, with a towel around her waist. He could say that she was surprised and found it very awkward that she allowed him to see her not dressed properly.

"Oh, hey, Dean," she started talking but it didn't make the situation less unpleasant.

"Hi, Emma," he responded kindly, and tried to make her feel like there was nothing to be ashamed of. She was new here so she didn't experience this kind of situation before but he did. It happened a lot of times to him, but he was always thankful for moments when he could make a girl uncomfortable without even trying.

"What are you doing here?" Emma asked when Dean totally forgot to explain why he came there because he got distracted by insufficiently-dressed lady standing in front of him. Dean even smiled what made it even worse, and with their height difference, Emma got scared a little when she imagined the worst scenario that could happen.

"I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable," Dean apologized when he noticed her frightened look. "Is Renee there?" he asked, with hope in his voice.

"Yes, she is," Emma answered quickly and welcomed the opportunity to disappear and let somebody else face him.

She closed the door first so Dean leaned against the wall next to the door and waited for Renee to come out. Meanwhile he took off the black tape around his forearms and put it into his pockets.

When he heard the door opening, he looked to his left to see Renee standing in front of him, not looking particularly happy to see him.

"Renee, I want to apologize for my earlier behavior," he started, but he sounded too serious; it didn't sound personal at all.

Renee thought the same and her angry face indicated to him that he should try again.

"Let me put it this way. I'm so sorry that I was such a jerk before. I seriously don't know what happened."

"Alright," Renee responded, but he felt she didn't forgive him and that she was still mad at him.

"Renee," he spoke, as he decided to grab her hand, doing it so fast and unexpectedly that she didn't even notice until it was too late to prevent it, and he held it. "I should have . . ." He stopped because he didn't know how to continue.

Fortunately for him, Renee saw that he was really trying to make it right and realized she should help him out because he got lost somewhere in his apology.

"I forgive you for a being a jerk," she joked and smiled at him, what immediately made him feel better.

He smiled at her too and couldn't stop thinking about how sweet she was. Verve was filling his body and his mind. He took her other hand as well, and placed it next to the other one so that he could hold them both together. Looking into her eyes he suddenly felt this strange need to be close to her, to never let go of her. That was new, he never felt that way before. It was uncomfortable and comfortable at the same time.

Suddenly he let go of her hands and stepped backwards.

"Are you ok?" Renee worried when she noticed how differently he acted. His face expression changed in an instant.

"Mhm," he responded, but he wasn't very convincing. He hesitated when he was to decide what to do next. He felt like it would be best to leave but he also really wanted to stay. He was scared by his feelings. He felt shivers running through his body as his legs got weak.

"Dean?" Renee spoke to him.

Dean looked down at her, and when his sight locked on her eyes, that calmness in them passed on to him. He found support in them and doubts left his mind.

"Thank you," he sighed.

"You're welcome," she responded politely although she had no idea what she did that he could be thankful for. Well, except for forgiving him but that didn't seem to be the reason.

"Do you know that you've got magical powers?" he asked, and he sounded enchanted. Indeed, he was enchanted by her, but that was something she didn't know.

"I do?" she asked, not realizing that she has just been complimented.

"Oh yes, you do. You are like an angel who was sent to me from heaven."

After hearing that, she started blushing, so she looked away. But Dean found her. He placed his hand under her chin and softly moved her head towards him.

"You really are my darling," he realized, and knew it needed to be said out loud. He couldn't stop smiling at her, what made her really happy but the tension made her breathe heavily and this time she was the one with weak legs.

And it got much harder for her to keep her cool when he gently took her hand into his and softly kissed it.

Then he let go off her hand, stroked her cheek while keeping an eye contact with her, and finally, he left.


	6. Chapter 6

It was the night of the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view and only few hours were left before the big start. Superstars and Divas were leaving the hotel and getting into the Target Center in Minneapolis where the show was scheduled to start at 8 p.m. ET but, as always, there was a pre-show, this time it was The Brotherhood against Rybaxel. It was definitely not the match that everybody was looking forward to. There were other matches that were supposed to be great and fulfill everybody's high expectations, like certain two matches both of which had six participants.

Before they left for the huge show, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns sat down on the leather sofa in the hotel lobby to wait for their crazy Shield co-member who was always late. They started talking about the upcoming match with the Wyatt Family to avoid getting bored by waiting, which could easily take more than ten minutes. They probably should have just knocked on Dean's door to make him leave the room already, but they didn't realize that it was the best way to get him out of the hotel room until they came down to the lobby, and then they were just too lazy to go up again and then all the way to Dean's room to get to him. So instead they just kept waiting and waiting.

Other superstars were walking by on their way to the place where the Elimination Chamber was taking place. Some seemed to be relaxed; others listened to music in order to loosen up. Seth and Roman were calm enough; they were actually feeling really enthusiastic about their match and the whole show. With the turbulences inside the Shield, and the uncertainty of how much longer they'd last as a team, they tried to enjoy it as much as they could.

When they saw their WWE colleagues, they said hey to them or did some small talk if anything at all. They were spending with them most of their time so there wasn't much to talk about. It all changed when Renee Young made her way across the hall, and being accompanied by a fellow Canadian, Christian, she approached the hotel exit before being stopped by Seth calling her name. Noticing her trying to avoid him, he lifted himself up from the comfortable sofa and headed toward Renee.

"Can I have a word with you, Renee?" he asked her politely.

Christian didn't care much, he simply continued walking outside, leaving the two of them alone.

Renee sighed when she realized there was no way out of the inevitable conversation which would sooner or later happen anyway. She was naïve to believe that Seth would forget about what she told him earlier that week.

"Alright," she said unwillingly.

Then she followed Seth who moved closer to the hallway to get distance from Roman. He understood that Roman was not supposed to know about Renee's feelings for their mate. When he stopped walking, thinking that he found the ideal spot for their chat, he turned to Renee and looked into her unhappy eyes. He was well aware of the fact that Renee preferred if the upcoming conversation never happened, but he couldn't let it go. He cared for both Renee and Dean so he wanted to know what was going on between them.

"No more escaping," he advised her.

"But we need to get to the arena," she tried to get a rid of him. Unsuccessfully.

"We've got enough time," he opposed. "Moreover, I couldn't focus if I didn't know what's happening with you two. Do you want me to ruin the match because of thinking about your secrets?" he tried to make her feel guilty for not wanting to tell him.

"Well, no," she started. "But we both know that my secrets will be the last think you'll be thinking about when you'll be facing Bray Wyatt. And," she continued. "It's just one secret," she corrected him, while looking around to make sure that nobody was close enough to hear them. "And it's not even a secret anymore, since you know it." She turned her offence mode on, but two could play that game.

"So does Dean know?" he asked mockingly. "Can I talk to him about you having feelings for him?"

"No!" she shouted. A little too loud, she realized immediately. She lowered her voice and continued, "You know I cannot tell him."

"Why not?" He sincerely did not understand. Seth gently looked at her and tried to make her see the right direction which she should take. "What's the point of torturing yourself with keeping it to yourself only and hoping something would happen on his own initiative?"

"See, that's the thing. I don't want anything to happen. I don't want things to change between us. We're friends. That's the way it should be," she kept explaining, but she herself wasn't convinced by her words, so neither could be Seth.

"Renee, are you listening to yourself?" He chuckled. "That's the way it _should_ be?" he repeated her own sentence. "Why? Who sets the rules? Just look around," he said, and pointed his arm to the direction where he hoped to see other wrestlers but at the moment there was nobody, so he just put his arm down again, lifted his eyebrows in disbelief, but let it go to continue. "I mean, there are plenty of Superstars and Divas having off-screen relationship and it works for them. It's even convenient because they can spend more time together and they do the same job as their partner so they can understand each other."

"But I'm not a Diva," she countered, looking down at the floor. "I don't wrestle, I'm a TV broadcaster. I don't have the same job as him, so there's only time advantage left which is more of a disadvantage, when you really think about it, since it can get annoying spending so much time with your lover," she said, acted as if she was only looking for reasons why her relationship with Dean should not happen.

"Renee, Renee . . ." Seth kept calling her name since she wouldn't listen to him. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "Firstly, you are a Diva. You're as good as any wrestler, and you know as much about wrestling as any professional, don't underestimate yourself. And secondly, you know you want it, so stop looking for excuses and tell him how you feel," he told her.

At the exact same moment, Dean walked out of the corridor behind the corner that they were standing at and before Renee could see him, he placed his hand on her back what totally freaked her out since Seth didn't give her any signal that Dean was suddenly standing behind her.

Seth went quiet as Renee turned around to see Dean's happy face, which was in opposition to Seth and Renee's scared blank faces. They were sure he heard them.

"Yeah, I agree with Seth, you should tell him," Dean gladly contributed with his opinion to what was now a dead conversation. But as soon as he looked at Renee, his smile disappeared. "Renee, are you ok?" he asked when he saw how pale she was. He took her hand and placed his fingers on the vein on her forearm, close to her wrist, to feel her heartbeat which was really fast. He supposed he scared her, which he did, just in a way he wouldn't understand. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to frighten you." He caressed her blonde hair and smiled at her to make it up to her.

Renee was still speechless so Seth took the initiative and tried to save her. "Next time whistle before touching somebody who doesn't see you," Seth advised him.

That made Dean think of Luke Harper whistling in The Wyatt Family promo, and that idea didn't convince him them whistling was a way to go. It could be pretty spooky as well. It definitely wasn't something that would calm one down.

"Ok, we should really go now," Seth continued after he looked at the time. "What took you so long anyway?" he changed the topic and started walking towards Roman to leave Renee alone. She wasn't in mood to handle Dean's asking her questions.

"Oh, I was on the phone," he replied.

Before Seth could ask follow-up question, they reached Roman, who stood up when he saw them approaching him. He put his headphones down and smiled at them, forgetting to be mad at them for taking their time.

"Hey, guys, I was browsing the music on my phone and you wouldn't believe what I found. Check this out!" he told them, looking all enthusiastic.

He pressed play and the song "Who Let the Dogs out?" started to play. Seth and Dean burst into laughing hearing the song they haven't heard in years. But it was appropriate. The Hounds of Justice were about to be unleashed and ready to tear their opponents apart.


	7. Chapter 7

Roman and Seth finally made their way into the backstage after their huge match with The Wyatt Family. They eventually lost, but the effort they put into that match could not be taken away from them. Even though the result was predetermined, all three members of The Shield made sure that the spectators would not see it as their loss but rather as an awesome match that it was. The facts that were to be remembered were that both The Wyatt Family and The Shield put up great performances and there were no weak moments to be found. The Shield was left devastated by The Wyatts when Bray Wyatt executed Sister Abigail on Roman Reigns, Seth went through the Spanish announce table and didn't move since he hit the floor hard until the match was over, and . . . the last member of the epic faction which, unfortunately, didn't get to serve justice on the night of the Elimination Chamber, well, Dean Ambrose went missing.

The two guys made their way into the locker room to get some rest since they were really tired and exhausted after all those hits, jumps, falls, punches that they had given and received earlier. Before they got to have some time alone by themselves, they were complimented by other wrestlers who were watching them and applauded their ability to put up such incredible match that even overshadowed the main event, the Elimination Chamber match.

"What the hell, guys! That was fucking awesome," The Miz stormed into the locker room and shouted at them.

Seth was lying on the floor with a wet towel thrown over his face, and felt like staying in that position for at least a couple of hours. He had had enough of physical activity for one night. He seriously needed a break, or he could collapse.

Roman was feeling a little better, well, he didn't have to perform all those high flights, and he didn't end up lying on the table. He was awarded the comfort of the ring. Therefore he just drank some water, and when he saw the enthusiastic face of The Miz, he joined him in celebration of their, well, loss, but that wasn't something they could influence or change.

"Anyway, I'm gonna take a shower now," Roman announced to them.

Seth with difficulty lifted his hand to wave at him in sense of whatever, and then let it fall freely on his own face, still covered with that white towel, full of water and sweat.

"Are you alright, man?" Miz worried when he saw Seth's almost lifeless body lying carelessly in front of him.

"I'll be fine," he mumbled, and made it difficult for Miz to understand.

Then he heard a knock on the door but he definitely wasn't going to stand up and go there to see who was outside.

"Could you get that?" he asked Miz instead.

"Sure," he replied, and opened the door for Renee to walk in.

"Who is it?" Seth wanted to know, as he wasn't even willing to turn his head to see on his own.

"It's me. Renee," she let him know. "I just wanted to say that it was a great match."

"Well, you're not the first one to say that," Miz informed her. "But if you expect to get some reception of your compliment, you should go to Wyatts instead. Seth's not in the mood to respond. Or," he remembered, "you can go compliment Roman. He'll be glad." Miz smiled viciously. "He's right there in the showers." He pointed in the direction of the bathroom, jokingly, but Renee didn't find it funny. "This is a dead place," he concluded. "I'm outta here."

He closed the door, leaving Seth and Renee alone. Renee got down on her knees so that she would be closer to Seth.

"Are you ok?" she asked, and courageously lifted the towel from his face, making him look at her.

"I guess," he didn't even try to convince her.

"Should I call somebody?"

"No," he refused, and finally sat up. "That's really not necessary. I just need some time to sober up from that match."

"Should I leave you alone?"

"Nah," he replied. "I'd like to have some company."

"Alright then." She looked around the locker room. It was strange ho empty it was. "Hey," she said, "Where's Dean?" She tried to make her question sound leisurely but it didn't work out for her the way she planned it.

"Oh, I see," Seth suddenly seemed interested in the conversation. "So that's why you came here in the first place," he supposed.

"No . . . maybe," she admitted. "What happened to him? Where did he go?"

"Don't worry, sweetheart, he's alright. It's not real, you know," he reminded her. "I suppose he can walk in any minute."

"I'm not worrying about him."

Once again, Dean found the perfect time for his entrance. Renee couldn't believe that it happened again.

"Worrying about who?" Dean insisted on knowing, as he walked past her and his mate, who was once more lying back on the floor. "What are you doing, man?" he uttered mockingly to Seth's face.

To avoid Dean's discussing Seth's weird position, he nonchalantly switched topic back to Renee.

"She was actually worrying about you after you left the ring with Bray and became never-to-be-seen-again."

"That's not true. . . ." Renee tried to convince them. "I was worried about all of you," she added when she saw that nobody would believe her.

"Really? That's so sweet." Dean reacted the way nobody expected him to. "Next time you'll be the first one I'll come to after the match to let you see that I'm alive," he said jokingly, but Renee somehow wished he mean it.

When Dean noticed that Renee wasn't amused by his joke, he added, "Seriously, everything's fine. I'm used to worse," he reminded her that he spent years in the Indies, so matches like this one were really nothing.

He gently smiled at her and she smiled back. That was when Roman got out of the shower and noticed new people in the room.

"You know, I was thinking that it would be nice if there was a woman around when I was in the shower, and now there's one," Roman said, grinning.

"Dude!" Dean exclaimed.

"What? That was a compliment."

"Yeah, I really don't see how that's a compliment," Renee told him. "So I'm just . . . gonna leave you alone, okay?" she said, getting really uncomfortable. "See you guys later."

When she was gone, Roman turned to Seth. "Seriously, get up!" Roman commanded Seth who unhappily did so. It was time to get back to normal. The match was over and Raw was coming.


	8. Chapter 8

After Seth spent a couple of hours with Roman watching some college football, he was tired and it was getting late, too. Therefore he decided he should go back to his room and, even though he knew he wouldn't try to fall asleep immediately, he liked the idea of him lying on the soft bed covered with warm blanket. But when Seth opened the door to get into what was his and also Dean's hotel room, he was surprised by the view. He straight away forgot about how exhausted he was and couldn't help but smile.

Dean was sitting on the bed with Renee sitting opposite him, both with crossed legs, and they seemed to be playing some card game. They looked happy and focused so at first they didn't even notice Seth walking in.

"Am I interrupting?" he asked softly.

Dean and Renee turned their heads to see the newcomer.

"Nope," Dean uttered.

"Dean and I were just playing poker," Renee explained him.

"Actually, it's called heads up poker when there are only two people," Dean corrected her.

Renee looked at him the way that made him doubt his dominance, and she showed that she was doing her best but she couldn't remember everything.

"Oh, I didn't know you could play poker, Renee," Seth said.

"It's heads up poker," she tried to prove them her ability to learn quickly.

"In this case it's okay to say just poker, darling," Dean laughed and gently stroked her knee what gave her shivers.

Unlike Dean, Seth noticed that and wondered if something happened between those two earlier.

"As you see, I'm just learning. Dean was teaching me."

"And you're doing really well," he complimented her. "But you should practice more."

"I believe Divas don't play poker, do they? So you probably couldn't play with them," Seth entered the conversation again. "But remember, Renee, you can always come to us. Right, Dean?" He looked at him and then at Renee to make sure she saw what he was doing.

"Of course, anytime. Our door is always open. Or . . ." He paused when he realized he could not mean it literally. "We will always open it for you," he added jokingly.

"Thanks, guys. But I'll think this was enough poker for at least a week. I'm gonna take off, I guess you want to go to bed, Seth." She uncrossed her legs and stood up. Then she stretched a little because she was in the same position for quite some time and felt stiff. When she was about to walk toward the door, Dean reached for her hand and took it. Then he used it to pull her closer to him so that he could hug her goodbye while still sitting on his bed.

"Goodnight," he whispered into her ear, and that gentle behavior toward Renee confused poor Seth even more. He was dying to find out what was going on.

"Bye, Renee." Seth smiled at her, still in an amazement.

When the door closed, Dean stood up. Even though Seth was craving to ask Dean certain questions, and now he had a chance, he didn't. If nothing happened between him and Renee, that conversation could get awkward. Fortunately for him, Dean decided to take a shower right after Renee left. So when Dean headed for the bathroom, Seth didn't take his time, he quickly abandoned the room and ran after Renee who was walking in the direction of the elevators. Seth reached her just before she could enter one to get on the floor where her room was located.

"Renee," he called after her.

She turned around to see him breathing loudly, even though he was in top condition and the short distance he had to run could not tire him.

"Seth." She sighed. "Did I forget something in your room?" she wondered as she checked the stuff she was holding in her hands and thinking if it was everything. But she was sure that she didn't bring with her nothing more than a green sweater, card into her room, and her phone.

"No, I don't think so," Seth replied. "I just needed to know if you two got intimate prior to my arrival or not." He did not consider that sentence inappropriate at all.

"Oh," she gasped.

"So?" Seth wouldn't let it go even when he could see she would prefer not talking about it. As always.

"No," she told him. "Actually," she decided to tell him more, "I gave it some thinking and realized that the best thing to do would be not to do anything."

"I don't understand."

"You see, I'm trying to convince myself that I don't really want to be with him and that it's not something that I need to do."

"You are going to fail. Big time," Seth announced to her.

"Maybe. But maybe not," she opposed.

"Ok," he said, but didn't really believe that it was a good idea. "How do you plan to accomplish it anyway?"

"Well, to start with, I have a date tomorrow."

Renee anticipated Seth's surprised look that followed her revelation. He couldn't believe his ears. She has evidently been interested in his teammate, he could clearly see that she wanted to get together with him, and suddenly she believed that the best solution for her problems was not talking to Dean about her feelings for him but instead throwing them out the window and looking for somebody new to fill Dean's place? Seth felt kind of sorry for that person who was certainly a rebound guy.

"You cannot do that," Seth exclaimed.

"Why not?" she asked him. "I'm not in a relationship with Dean, he's not in love with me, and I deserve to be happy, don't I?"

"Well, yeah. . . ." He tried to find a way to counter her argument. "Yes, of course you do, but you don't know for sure that Dean's not in love with you. He might feel the same as you do, for all you know. I mean, you know what I saw when I entered that room?" he posed her a question which he didn't wait for an answer to. "I saw two people who cared about each other, enjoying the time they were spending together, having fun. But it wasn't the same as what you see when you look at two friends. It was different. There was more. At that moment I thought, I was almost sure, that something happened between you two. I don't know, maybe you cuddled, maybe you kissed. There was evidently tension and I could say that both of you wanted to stop whatever you were doing and get all over each other."

Renee listened to Seth carefully and wondered if it were true. When she was next to Dean, she did feel that way, she wanted to touch him. But she couldn't tell what was going on Dean's mind. Was he thinking the same or did he see it as two friends bonding, having a good time playing poker?

Renee swallowed loudly. Her good mood was gone. She understood that she couldn't spend time with Dean and pretend everything was the way it should be. She wanted him. She wished she knew what he felt but she was too scared to start that conversation. It was bad enough when she was talking to Seth about it, and it would be ten times worse when it would be Dean standing in front of her.

"I should tell him, shouldn't I?" Renee asked. Seth nodded and then hugged her to comfort her and make her feel better. She rested her head on his chest and he caressed her soft long hair. They stayed in that motionless position for a couple of minutes before they parted and went their separate ways.

Seth returned to his room and quickly fell asleep while Renee spent most of the night trying to figure out what to do next. She had to talk to Dean and it was something she did not look forward too. She decided she would do it eventually though, just not yet.


	9. Chapter 9

Renee was sitting in her room, alone. She had some free time before heading to work, but she couldn't think of anything better to do than desperately staring out the window, watching the raindrops fall on the ground. She felt a little depressed, partly because of the weather, partly because of her confusion. She was lonely, but didn't want to see anybody. Her head gently touched the wall to her right and her eyes closed. Her body started shaking; she was apparently cold but didn't do anything about it. Instead she grabbed her phone to make a call.

She was thinking about the date she was supposed to have tonight. She was having some serious second thoughts and decided to call it off. What would be the point of having a dinner with him when she was not interested in him at all? The only reason she was doing it was Dean. She wanted to forget about him, she wanted to convince herself that it was a very bad idea falling for him and she needed to stop thinking about him. Now that she was considering her reason for the date again, it seemed legitimate. She saw the point of meeting the guy. For all she knew, he might be the love of her love. He probably wasn't, but she could give it a try. If it didn't work out, she can always decide not to see him again.

With Dean it was totally different. It they had a fling or something and things didn't work out for them, she could not stop seeing him. They were working together. Wasn't there a rule saying you shouldn't date people you work with? She didn't want to risk that. On the one hand, she really wanted to give it a try, but on the other hand, it was too dangerous. They were friends now. One stupid desire could ruin that. There was no going back from crossing that barrier between friendship and love. Love was too destructive to play with.

She put the phone down. She decided she would go on a date with the person she has never met before. It could be fun after all. It could be something that would stop her mind from permanent thinking about the man who reserved himself a special place in her heart. Renee wanted to believe that there was still a way out of it.

When she met Adam, she seemed like a genuinely nice guy. He welcomed her with a kiss on her cheek, he brought her a bunch of flowers, and took her to a fancy restaurant. It was not that he was short or not muscular at all, but when she was surrounded by wrestlers, she lost the ability to appreciate regular built. He was still attractive, though. He had beautiful eyes, lovely smile and everything, but Renee was not interested in him. There was only one person who she could picture being with, and that person definitely wasn't the guy who was sitting in front of her at the moment.

He tried to do his best to make her smile and laugh, he really wished the date would end the best way possible, but he could not help but notice her mind was somewhere else.

"Renee," he said softly to grab her attention. He even dared to touch her hand resting on the table.

She immediately moved her hand away. The gesture might have been a little too harsh. She looked at him, apologizing.

"Is something wrong?" he worried.

She sighed and breathed in and out deeply. "Yes," she replied. "My being here is wrong. I should have never agreed on going on a date with you."

He seemed not to understand. He was thinking it was him, that he did something what he shouldn't have done.

"Oh," he groaned.

"No," she quickly continued when she saw he did not get what she was trying to say. "It's not you. You are . . ." she took a break to think about something clever to say, but honestly, most of the time he spent talking about his traits or interests, she was not listening. Unintentionally, she was thinking about Dean and picturing him sitting on the chair which was now occupied by this random guy. "You are a great person," she assumed. "But I'm here for wrong reasons. There's somebody else I have feelings for. And to be honest, I only agreed on this date to get over him."

Adam felt how the door was closing right in front of him. The chance of getting the wonderful girl with gorgeous blonde hair equaled zero. "I see," he replied in a low voice.

"I'm really sorry," she apologized. She smiled at him in hope he would smile back but he didn't. It was totally understandable. She just ruined his dreams and destroyed his confidence. "I should go," she added. Then she stood up, looked at him to see what he was going to do but when he did nothing, she put on her coat and simply walked away.

She felt guilty for the whole situation but at the same time, she was sort of glad it happened. She was finally certain about her feelings. No more confusion. Now she knew what she needed to do. This awkward date helped Renee realize that Dean was not her crush, what she felt was much stronger and it wouldn't go away. More importantly, she did not want it to go away anymore. She really wanted to be with him. Talk to him and let him know about her secret desires. How she wished to kiss him. How she wished to take control over Dean's perfect body. She smiled at the thought of her doing nasty things to him. Wondering, smiling, she imagined how amazing it would be if they became a couple. She could see the tension in her next interview with The Shield. Of course, it would be incredibly hard for her to take her eyes off of Dean, she was well aware of that, but that was a challenge she wanted to accept.

It all seemed so dreamy but so real at the same time. She was really looking forward to seeing Dean and revealing him her dirty secrets. She did not want to wait anymore, the time was right. There was no more doubt, therefore no reasons for postponing the talk. She did not know what to say yet but that didn't matter. Something would come up in her mind. She could be spontaneous. Maybe she wouldn't even need to speak; she could show him what she felt. She could take the initiative and be a bad girl for once. She could surprise him with a kiss.

On her way back to the hotel she starting laughing when she imagined a scenario when she was interviewing all three members of The Shield, she posed a question to Dean Ambrose, then he would start talking being all cocky and dominant as he always is, and then to his big surprise, she would stood up on her tiptoes, took him by his neck to pull him closer to her and finally connected her lips with his. She could see him losing the track of the script, breaking the kayfabe and not knowing what to do. How great that would be, she thought. Of course, she would never do that in real life but it was fun to picture that situation. And who knows, maybe when she finally meets him in order to break the news to him, the real situation will be even better. It was definitely something Renee was looking forward to.


	10. Chapter 10

Ever since Renee decided to talk to Dean about her feelings, she couldn't stop thinking about it, and mostly about him. She knew it was huge and it could change their lives forever. It could be the start of a romance that would hopefully turn into serious relationship. Renee knew that was what she wished for. Now it was time for Dean to make a decision. Well, not yet. Renee decided to wait one more day; she planned to reveal her secret to him right after Raw in Chicago. That gave her one last day when everything was normal. From tomorrow, nothing will be the same. The minute she lets him know what he means to her will be the minute that will mark the end of their friendship. There were only two roads leading from there. Either he will be delighted and, in that case, he will gladly welcome the idea of them becoming a couple, or, in a much bitterer scenario, he puts her in an unpleasant, awkward position when he tells her he has no feelings for her.

Sometimes it seemed that Renee was forgetting the other option; in reality, she did not allow herself to think about refusal because those kinds of thoughts were making her doubt her decision to speak to him. She spent enough time going back and forth when choosing the best action she should take; now she was finally convinced that telling Dean she wishes to be his girlfriend was the right thing to do. If she took that decision back, again, she would lose precious time. She lost enough time already. If she told him earlier, there was a big chance they would be together by now. Or, oppositely, he would have already broken her heart and she would be on her way to recovery. Either way, the difficult part would be over.

Now, that moment of truth was still awaiting. But she felt excited about it. She didn't know how it would end, but she was looking forward to it. If it were possible, she would talk to Dean right now. But he was nowhere near her so she needed to wait. It was only one more day, she could wait that long.

No, she couldn't. She couldn't help herself. She had to hear his voice. She didn't care if it was a stupid idea to call, particularly when she had no reason, not even an excuse, to talk to him. She had her own reasons but those were not some she could offer him as an explanation to why she called him in the first place.

She picked up her phone and quickly dialed his number. Even before she heard him say something, she imagined his voice and she couldn't help but smile. She was excited about the whole situation, about tomorrow and his reaction, but the most legitimate reason behind her excitement was something of less importance, not so special, nor different from any other Monday. She was just eager to see him. It was that simple. The phone call she was making was a treat for her, a little preview for tomorrow.

"Hello, my sweetest angel, how can I help you?" Dean jokingly welcomed her call. Those three simple words were enough for Renee to lose control over her mind and body. She felt lost, drowning in his charm. He was like a magician who could easily fool her with his magic tricks.

"Renee?" he gently asked as if he didn't know whether she was listening or not since she did not reply. Frankly, he heard her breathing so he could say that she did not hang up, but he still didn't know what was going on.

"Yes." She pulled herself together quickly enough. "Sorry, I just needed to do something." What the fuck did she just say? She needed to do something? Like what? She definitely did not find the best excuse for her silence. All she could do was to hope that Dean would not suspect anything.

"Oh, alright; for a moment I thought I might have annoyed you when I called you angel," he said. Renee wondered how that could seem annoying to someone. It was a genuinely nice nickname that everybody should be pleased to get.

"No, not at all. You can call me anything you want," she added rashly before she could realize that, once again, she did not choose the best words. She was so falling for that man that she could not act rationally and pretend nothing was happening. She knew it needed to stop. She was feeling like a teenage girl who had a crush on some celebrity. Well, it was not far from the truth. Except that she was not a teenage girl, although she might have been acting as one, and it was far more than just a simple crush. But Dean was a celebrity so that one was not a lie. Then again, she never saw him as a celebrity and she had never got nervous talking to him or being in his presence, until she started to fall in love with him. Now he had her under his control and he made her even more nervous than some wrestling legends, like The Undertaker. She was living in an absurd world of love where Dean Ambrose was the king and she was nothing more than a servant.

"So . . ." Dean wondered what was going on since the only thing he heard from Renee was another silence. So basically he did not hear anything.

Dammit! Renee thought when she realized she was losing it.

"Ok, Dean, here's the thing," she started, but she did not prepare the end of that sentence in advance. "I really need to talk to you about something," she admitted, "but now I'm thinking that saying it this way is not appropriate."

"Is something wrong?" Dean worried. "Did something bad happen?" he wanted to know.

"No," she exclaimed, "I don't think so," she added quietly. She took a moment to continue. "I'm facing a big decision and I believe you're the one person that could help me."

"Me?" he showed his surprise. "I mean, I'm honored but I don't see how I could be someone to help you. I'm not very good at making decisions myself," he joked.

"Well, let's say I trust you enough to turn to you for advice," she said in all seriousness. She omitted the other reason why he was the right person to talk to about her "big decision." Of course it was because he was the essence of that choice she was supposed to make.

"Aww, thank you." He was pleased. "I don't see how I deserved that but I really appreciate it. So, you say that you don't want to discuss it over the phone?" He was making sure he remembered what she said earlier.

"Exactly," she replied.

"Then we could talk about it tomorrow," he suggested, and he heard that she immediately started laughing.

"That's what I was thinking," she explained.

"Could I get a hint of what is the conversation going to be about?" he pleaded.

First she didn't want to reveal anything to him but then she changed her mind and said, "It kind of concerns a certain member of The Shield." She was not lying, and she was specific enough. He did not need to know that the certain member was himself.

"Oh, that sounds interesting," he replied. "So we'll get back to it tomorrow, I can't wait," Dean admitted. "I would love to continue talking to you but now I've really got to go."

"That's alright," she assured him. "Bye for now."

"Bye, darling. Take care."

The conversation did not always go the way Renee wanted it to, but she was happy with the results. Now he knew there was something they needed to discuss and tomorrow he would learn more. There was no going back from it. Renee felt the pressure but it gave her courage she needed for Chicago. That was where her future would be decided.


	11. Chapter 11

„Hey, Renee!" Roman shouted across the hall when he noticed her standing in the backstage area.

When she heard him calling her name, she turned around and smiled as she was in a really good mood. It was a big night not only for The Shield, The Wyatt Family, and the crowd hoping to see CM Punk return to the company, but for her as well. Her enthusiasm did not have its source in wrestling though; the object of her interest was different, sort of unrelated to sports entertainment. She couldn't wait until the end of the show; she was so excited about things to come.

"What's up?" she asked Roman when he approached her.

"I'm looking for Seth. Have you seen him?" he wanted to know.

"Oh. Maybe he got scared of you and Dean," she joked. "Maybe he thought you were really mad at him for what he did in the match."

Roman didn't dismiss that idea immediately although both of them knew it was very improbable, at least. "Well he did screw us over." Roman played with that kayfabe action. "If I don't find him in five minutes or so," he continued, "I will start to believe that he was so frightened that he left the arena."

Renee laughed and added in a serious manner, "If I see him, I'll tell him that you are looking for him."

"Thanks, Renee. That would be great."

As soon as Roman left and went back to the locker room, Renee spotted the lost dog who was walking out of the bathroom. He was no longer wearing his swat vest but he kept the black T-shirt and pants on. It really seemed to Renee that he hasn't been to the locker room yet, otherwise he would be wearing his casual clothes, and therefore she could understand why Roman was unsuccessfully looking for him.

Seth was about to walk the other way so Renee hurried to talk to him and let him know that Roman wanted to have a word with him.

"Seth," she addressed him when she touched his shoulder from behind, and for somebody who made living fighting other people, it was strange to see him being surprised and uncomfortable when suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, it's you," he said when he turned around to see a familiar face. He sounded relieved. For a moment, Renee reconsidered the idea of Seth being afraid of having to face his teammates.

"Are you okay?" She suspected his strange behavior.

"Sure I am," he responded.

"Are you avoiding someone?" She kept posing him uncomfortable questions. "Dean and Roman, maybe?" she guessed.

"Don't be silly, Renee," he refused that explanation. "I know the difference between kayfabe and reality. This is not my first day here," he reminded her.

"Then what is it?" she asked because she had a feeling that he was upset or something.

"To be honest," he started, "I'm trying not to bump into Cesaro. I sort of pissed him off earlier when I made a joke about Europe but he evidently didn't consider it funny. He took it too personally and, well, he promised he would find me after the show and swing me around."

"Whoa." Renee couldn't help but imagine Cesaro performing a giant swing on Seth. It happened before but she could watch that anytime. As could the WWE Universe.

"It's not nice, Renee." Seth acted seriously and took away her smile. "It may look like fun but in reality it disorients you and makes you want to throw up."

"Come on, Seth, I'm sure he did not mean it," she tried to comfort him, and caressed the side of his arm.

"There you are." The two of them heard a familiar voice. Seth painfully swallowed and refused to turn around to see the face of fellow wrestler.

As Renee had nothing to worry about, she did look Cesaro in the eye and tried to break the tension. "Guys, guys, this is not a kindergarten." She looked at Cesaro, then at Seth. "I don't know what happened but let's not hurt anybody, ok? Now shake hands," she commanded them, and Cesaro immediately remembered Zeb Colter who earlier that night forced The Real Americans to hug and forget about their mutual distrust.

"He disrespected my culture," Cesaro protested.

"I didn't mean it," Rollins countered, and without anybody noticing he kept moving behind Renee's back so that she would stand between the two men.

Renee wasn't sure if the situation was exaggerated or if there was some serious conflict taking place before her very eyes. Either way, she decided to become an authoritative figure and stop it right away. She could easily come up with a good excuse for it to end.

"I'm sorry Cesaro but your little fight is not gonna happen. Seth needs to find Roman because he wants to talk to him about something."

Seth was so glad that he had a reason to leave and let Cesaro cool down. They would be okay, it just seemed a little dangerous to be anywhere near Cesaro at the moment. He was mad at Seth and moreover, he did not fight a lot in his match so he had too much redundant energy in him. To feel better and safer, Seth took Renee by her hand and made her go with him. That way, there was somebody to use as a shield if necessary.

"Thanks," he told her as they walked through the hall.

"That was so silly," she commented on the situation that she witnessed few minutes ago. "Can't you act like adults?" she asked, but did not get any answer at first.

"We will, we'll drink our troubles away in the bar," Seth responded.

Renee shook her head in disbelief but kept smile on her face. "So if you don't mind, I'm gonna go now. I believe that you don't need me anymore. And Roman asked only for you, not me," she added.

"Wait!" Seth suddenly stopped walking. "Roman really wants to talk to me? You didn't make that up?" He acted surprised.

"Why would I make that up?"

Seth just shrugged his shoulders and started thinking what could that conversation be about. Before he could realize, Renee tried to sneak away but he, with his ninja vision, quickly noticed her runaway try.

He prevented her from leaving and explained to her, "What if I get into another trouble, with Roman this time? You can't leave me now. I could make good use of you." He continued in his childish behavior just for effect. Then he revealed his real opinion on the reason why she wouldn't want to go into the men's locker room. "Are you scared to face Dean?"

"No," Renee responded calmly. "I'm actually going to talk to him tonight. I've done some thinking and now I know I want Dean to know how I feel about him," she surprised Seth with lack of confusion and plenty of courage.

"Really?" He couldn't believe his ears.

She smiled, being satisfied with herself and her decision. "Yes," she replied firmly.

"In that case, why to postpone that conversation? You can come inside with me right now," Seth suggested. "Oh, it's so amazing. Two of my close friends hitting it off. I can't wait for Dean to ask me to be his best man," Seth dreamed out loud.

"Shut up!" Renee exclaimed, and hit him. His words made her imagine Dean in a wedding suit though. She certainly liked that idea. He would look just as hot as he did at the Slammy Awards. She could not help but hear him saying 'I know; I look great'.

"Anyway," Seth became serious again. "Good luck," he wished her right before he opened the door to the men's locker room where both Roman and Dean were awaiting.


	12. Chapter 12

When Seth opened the door to the men's locker room in the Allstate Arena, acting like a gentleman that he was, he let the woman walk in first. What Seth didn't realize was that neither Dean nor Roman expected to see a girl in there. They were surprised and interrupted in changing their clothes. While Roman has just put on his shirt, Dean was still in the phase of pointlessly walking around the room, shirtless. In reality, he was on a search for his V-neck white T-shirt. He looked everywhere, but it was difficult to locate it when there were several piles of clothes just laying around. But as soon as he noticed Renee walking inside, he froze, and so did she.

"Hey, man," Roman started speaking, ignoring the awkward situation. "There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere," he addressed his words to Seth who noticed the tension which arose between Dean and Renee, but he decided not to do anything about it.

"Well, then I guess you're not very good at searching," Seth noted nonchalantly.

Roman responded with a sarcastic smile while pointing out, "I'm still better than Dean. He's been trying to find his shirt for at least ten minutes."

"So that's why you're half-naked and don't do anything about it," Renee joked to ease the moment and avoid people noticing her lingering on Dean's abs. When Dean did not seem to respond, she added, "Let me help you with that."

He telepathically thanked her and continued in the search, now more intensively than before. Renee started on the other side and did her best to keep her cool. It was incredibly difficult for her not to stare at Dean's muscular body, but if she failed, she knew there would be consequences.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Seth returned to the former conversation.

Roman started focusing on him, but after few seconds he told him in surprise, "Huh, I don't remember." Seth shook his head in disbelief. Well, the good thing was he didn't come to the locker room just to talk to Roman. He wanted to change as well, but now with a woman in there, he had to wait.

While Seth kept standing beside the lockers with his arms crossed, trying to suppress the need to start whistling, Roman remembered that he still had something to talk about, even though originally the topic of the conversation was different. He didn't care; it would come up in his mind eventually. The important thing was that he had something to kill time with while Renee was still in the room, unaware that she was preventing Seth, and for that matter all of the guys, from being themselves and acting as they usually did in the locker room.

"Anyway, Seth, Renee," Roman included her in the conversation, "have you heard the big news?" He gave them a couple of seconds to think about their guesses which they would present to him.

"Are you going to fight Seth?" Renee asked, referring to their earlier in-ring dispute and a need for a punishment for Seth Rollins who refused to cooperate with the other Shield members in their match with The Wyatt Family.

"Nah, but I would like that," he laughed.

"My turn," Seth said. "Are you . . ." he took a moment to think, "Are you gonna get a haircut?" he joked, but secretly he hoped he wouldn't because he really liked Roman's long hair.

"Nope," he responded.

"Hey, that's my catchphrase!" Dean exclaimed suddenly, and accused his mate of stealing the word he became famous for.

"So now we're not allowed to say it anymore?" Roman wondered, without considering what a great opportunity for response he just offered to Dean.

"Nope," Dean said, and he couldn't be happier. It was his way of showing dominance while not being too serious at the same time.

Although the situation was far from getting out of control, Renee intervened again. She had a great opportunity to avoid the "fight" when she found Dean's shirt, resting on the ground underneath the bench, and handed it to him. "Now you have no reason to be shirtless," she added.

"There's always a reason," Dean protested, but put his T-shirt on anyway.

"Can we get back to the topic, please?" Seth seemed to be the only one to remember there was actually something they were talking about.

"Right," Roman started to focus again. "Let me help you out. It's about Dean," he gave them some new information and in an instant everybody started looking at Dean who pretended not to care about the conversation.

Neither Seth nor Renee had a clue what could be the "big news". Did it have to do anything with wrestling, with The Shield or Dean's gimmick?

"Are you getting rid of your earring?" Seth suddenly asked, and it was one thing about Dean that really bothered him.

"You wish," he responded, knowing Seth never really liked it.

"Are you getting a tattoo?" Renee guessed, and tried to imagine him with one. It was sort of difficult, it somehow did not belong to Dean, but still she was sure that it would look sexy.

"You're far from truth, guys," Roman let them know. "I'll give you a hint. What is the last thing you would expect from Dean?" he posed a question that was supposed to help them.

"Are you turning babyface?" Renee gave it a shot, and it certainly was something that was hard to imagine. Dean gave her a disgusted look while Roman started laughing. Seth knew as well that it wasn't it; if the news had something to do with Dean's wrestling career in the WWE, he would already know since they were a part of the same faction.

"Somebody has to stay heel, right, Dean?" Roman noted, referring to him turning face soon and becoming a fans' favorite who was already getting a lot of cheers.

"So what is it?" Seth couldn't wait anymore. He had enough of teasing. He didn't care whether Roman or Dean would be the one to say it out loud; he wanted to know what was going on and refused to continue in unproductive guessing.

"Alright, you both failed terribly," Roman started, and seemed to be the one to reveal the secret. Dean acted like it was no big deal and it didn't need the fanfares or the drumroll Roman wished to have.

Roman looked at Dean one more time and gave him the biggest smile ever, applauding whatever it was that he accomplished. He then looked at Seth who was getting into a trance, craving for the answer, and Renee who had no idea what to expect.

"Dean's got a girlfriend," he finally revealed to them.


	13. Chapter 13

„Dean's got a girlfriend," Roman said in expectation of surprised yet positive reactions from both Seth and Renee. Dean having a girlfriend was a huge thing. He wasn't that kind of guy who found himself happy being in a relationship. He avoided them; he looked for fun, not a commitment. But it seemed to have changed. When Roman heard the news from Dean earlier that day, he first thought Dean was joking. It turned out he wasn't, and Roman was really happy for him once he overcame the initial shock. He thought Seth and Renee would feel the same, but although they seemed rather astonished, it was in a different, sort of wrong way.

First thing Seth did when he heard the news, when he processed the information, was looking at Renee. He could not respond before he saw her reaction. And he certainly felt bad for her. He was the only one who knew about her feelings for Dean and he could imagine how difficult the situation was for her. Seth was pleased that Dean finally found somebody who he considered worthy to start legitimately dating, but he hoped that person would be Renee and not some random chick. But it happened, and Seth wanted to support Dean in his relationship . . . except he couldn't. Not with Renee standing next to him. When he saw her devastated face, he struggled to not forget about the presence of two other people and go and hug her. He wished he could comfort her, to take the pain away. She seemed so fragile surrounded by the three men, and facing the painful reality, while unable to show how she truly felt.

And she really did feel surrounded. There was no escape. The only it thing she could do, what she _had_ to do, was hiding her emotions. And that struggle took a lot effort. She felt like crying, but she couldn't show anybody her weakness. She had to stay strong, even though her world has just fallen apart. The cheerfulness she felt few moments ago was replaced with emptiness. She felt lonely, and yet she was not alone, however, she wished she were. It would be much easier to deal with the reality if nobody were around.

She looked at Dean and saw his beautiful smile, the lips she lusted after but now she knew she couldn't kiss. She couldn't hold Dean in a way she wanted. All her desires had to be burned. There was no way she could have the talk with him anymore. She was destined to deal with her feelings on her own, and that meant to get rid of them once and for all.

The truth was bitter, and it was even worse that she did not see it coming, that she was anticipating good news when it hit her. It took her by surprise and at the worst time possible. The only good thing about it was that she learned he had a girlfriend before telling him she was, possibly, in love with him. The awkwardness she would face in that case would be unbearable. At least this way nobody except Seth knew, and it was for the best.

Renee was biting her lower lip while avoiding having an eye contact with someone. She stared at the wall so that her emotions could not get the best of her. However, she knew it was a ticking bomb; she could build walls all she wanted, but in the end it would all collapse, emotions would betray her, and the tears would start falling. She tried to help to push them away by thinking about something else, something funny maybe, but her effort resulted only in another thought about Dean Ambrose. She could not fight it anymore; she had to look at him again. However hurtful that sight was, that face was giving her courage and making her stronger on the inside. He was the one person who could make her feel better, while at the same time he was the cause of her disillusion. He was both and he was all. He was what she needed but couldn't get. And that was the fact that she had to learn to live with.

"Congrats," she finally said when she reached the level of numbness that allowed her to face the reality. She was not happy, but she wouldn't let that ruin Dean's happiness. She cared for him and she did her best to make herself believe that her love was unconditional. She was supposed to allow him to find the source of satisfaction and joyfulness somewhere else. As long as he was smiling, she was too.

Except it didn't work that way. That was just a theory; the reality was totally different. She could not accept him being with somebody else, and moreover, be happy about it. That was impossible to achieve. There was no way she could forget about him and stop thinking about him in a way that was not compatible with friendship. She wanted him and she has even understood that she needs to do something about it, and not wait for him to magically find out. But it was too late. Still, she couldn't believe it. What are the odds that as soon as she decides to talk to him about her feelings, he finds somebody and gets into a relationship? It was Dean Ambrose, those things don't happen with him; he was different, he was not like regular guys, and that was what attracted her about him. Well, that, and some more obvious things like his gorgeous body, energy, attitude, and the way he talked to her. But if she keeps thinking about him in this way, she cannot move on, not that it was possible anyway, but she needed to try.

"Yeah, that's great news, man," Seth added, but kept the enthusiasm low. He could not look at it the way Roman did since Roman did not know about Renee's secret. He was still surprised that Renee was handling the situation so well; she did not let anybody see what was going on her mind. Her behavior was maybe a little suspicious, but then again, so was Seth's.

"You two say it like it's no big deal," Roman noted.

"Well, it's not," Dean opposed. "It happens to everyone," he joked to lighten up the mood, which was below the expected level.

Roman went on about it, not realizing what he was causing. "Not to you. I mean, when was the last time you met someone and you two hit it off? And how amazing is she when you fall in love with her so fast?" Roman tried to show him that it truly was something unusual.

"You're in love with this girl?" Renee asked, and words cannot explain how difficult it was for her to pose that question to him while knowing how he would respond.

Dean looked at Renee, and although he successfully fought the urge to smile, his eyes were ruining it for him. "I might be," he admitted. "I mean, we met only two weeks ago, it was that night after the last Raw before the Elimination Chamber when we all headed to the bar afterwards. Well you didn't," he said, and reminded Renee who quickly remembered that she skipped going to the pub because she was supposed to meet a friend of hers. The idea of how different the situation would be if she went there popped into her mind, but it was too painful to deal with. She could not allow herself to wonder whether her being there could mean that Dean would be single now. Luckily, Dean continued talking so he gave her no time to torture herself with pessimistic thoughts. "Anyway, the truth is, a day hasn't passed without me calling her, and when I have time off, we meet up. She's really great. And the best thing is she doesn't know me, she doesn't watch wrestling so she has no idea that I am a professional wrestler. She can like me for who I really am and she's not afraid of me because of some pretty nasty gimmicks that I have had. When I'm with her, it's really me, not an arrogant jerk or a lunatic fringe. She brings the best out of me and she really makes me happy," he explained to them, maybe in an excruciating detail, the reason for which he didn't understand. "So I guess I'm really falling for her," he turned to Renee to answer her question.

That was when she couldn't take it anymore. She felt nauseated and unable to breathe. She felt lost. Not angry, just numb. But even that numbness had barriers which Dean crossed when he kept dreaming about his new girl while looking Renee directly in the eye, unaware of how much he was hurting her.

"I've gotta go," she said quickly, not giving anybody chance to ask why. She stormed out of the men's locker room, and without even closing the door after her, she ran away, failing to hold back the tears.


	14. Chapter 14

„Renee, Renee!" she heard a voice calling after her. She recognized the voice and knew it wasn't somebody she could ignore, so she wiped the tears away and tried to stop sobbing before turning around to face Seth.

"I'm so stupid," she exclaimed in anger.

"No, you're not," Seth wanted to prove her wrong. "You couldn't know."

Renee knew he was right but didn't let him see she believed him. She was disappointed; not with Dean but with herself. She was sad and depressed; she couldn't hide that from Seth or anybody else who would look at her.

"Come here," Seth whispered, and took her into his arms. He knew she needed somebody to ease her pain. He wouldn't leave her alone; he was her friend after all. And in this situation, he was the only one who could understand what she was going through. Unlike anybody else, he had the information and could easily recognize the reason why she had no intention in staying in the same room with Dean, and for that matter with Roman as well.

"It's gonna be alright," he consoled her with a cliché phrase. He believed it would get better; it couldn't get any worse after all. "And hey," he continued, "he said they've only known each other for two weeks, it's not serious."

"Didn't you see his face when he was talking about her?" Renee opposed. "He was all over her; he was happy. I wouldn't want to stand in the way. If she is what he wants, then I'm not going to ruin it for him, or confuse him by telling him that I love him."

"You love him?" Seth looked at her to make her give him a straight answer. She has never said she loved him before, but if she really did, the situation was even worse.

"I don't know," she sighed, "I but I think it wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't." It made sense. But it was all so wrong. Wasn't love meant to be easy?

Seth ran his hand through Renee's hair and softly kissed her on the forehead. She was like a little child who tripped over and started crying; then its parent would come to kiss him and make the pain go away. The situation was different with Renee. One kiss on the wounded spot would not stop tears from falling.

"Even if I did," Renee continued while Seth was there to listen to her, "it doesn't change anything. It doesn't give me the right to intervene in his relationship. She might be the love of his life for all I know."

"Or you might be," Seth opposed.

Renee didn't respond to that, she chose to ignore his comment. If he was right, she didn't want to know. What would it change anyway?

Suddenly they heard some steps coming their way so Seth let go off Renee and they both quickly moved away from each other to avoid looking suspicious. It was Dean, now fully dressed, who was walking toward them.

"Guys," he said when he was close enough for them to hear him, "is something wrong?" he worried.

"No," they mechanically replied, and tried to look happy, which was incredibly difficult, especially for Renee, to achieve.

Dean decided not to ask anything because if something was indeed going on, they probably wouldn't tell him anyway. "Alright." He let it go.

Seth looked at Renee one more time to see how she was handling seeing Dean, but fortunately for her, there was no remainder of earlier tears in her eyes, and she seemed to be doing well considering her current situation and a little emotional meltdown she experienced prior to Dean's arrival.

"On a different note, can I have a word with you, Renee?" Dean asked gently, but the question put both Renee and Seth in confusion.

Seth felt the need to provide an excuse for Renee, but failed to come up with something relevant. He looked at her instead and searched through her facial expressions to find a clue telling him whether she was ready to face Dean or not.

Renee knew she wouldn't avoid the conversation; she realized it as soon as she, just as Seth, unsuccessfully attempted to find something that would prevent her from having to talk to Dean.

"I don't see why not," she admitted.

He smiled at her and instructed her into an empty office where they would both sit down on the sofa and face each other prior to the conversation, which was to Renee nothing less than an uncomfortable necessity.

"Don't think I would let you slip away before we talk," he started.

"Why would I want to?" Renee posed a rhetorical question although there were many reasons for her to want to avoid it.

"So?" he encouraged her.

"So what?" She didn't know what he wanted her to say.

"Well, I thought you would be the one to start. You called me to discuss your problem after all," he reminded her.

"Oh, that. You know what? Let's just forget about it. It's not important."

She tried to stand up to leave, but Dean wouldn't allow it. He grabbed her hand and made her sit down again.

"I see what's going on," he said, and Renee swallowed heavily wondering if he might know about her secret. "You said it had something to do with one member of The Shield." Renee nodded and kept hoping he was wrong in his assumption. "Well, I don't think the term Shield is relevant here since I suppose it has nothing to do with wrestling, am I right?" She nodded again. "So I came to a conclusion that it's something personal, and what can be more personal than relationships. . . ." Now she felt really uncomfortable and seriously started to worry, but kept pushing the thought of him knowing the truth away. "Do you, let's say, have affection for somebody? Do you like somebody more than you would care to admit?"

"I really don't want to talk about it," she protested.

"Come on, I'm not going to judge you or anything. So just tell me, is it true?"

She took a moment to think whether it would be better to deny or admit it. Then she answered with simple "Yes."

"I thought so," he replied. "But you need to understand that it's not right."

"I know," she sighed quietly.

"He's in a relationship and you shouldn't interfere with it."

"Yes," she agreed, but then noticed there was something weird about his sentence. "Wait, what?" she asked out loud. Did he just say '_he_'s in a relationship?'

"You shouldn't get in the way; he loves his girlfriend," he continued.

"Who are you talking about?" Renee was confused.

"Well, I know that the person you have feelings for is Seth. I've noticed that recently you've spent a lot of time with him and when you were standing in the hallway, I saw you two hugging."

Renee was not sure if she should tell him that it's not Seth because if he knew, the options would narrow down to two people, Roman and Dean, which would include the right person, and that was too dangerous. Dean would have a 50/50 chance of getting it right. What led her morally wrong decision was the strong feeling that she didn't want Dean to know what was actually happening. So instead of telling him he was wrong, she followed Dean's lead and let him believe that she was in love with Seth.

"Oh." She pretended to be surprised. After a pause, she asked, "But what should I do?" She thought as well that since now Dean knows that she has feelings for somebody, although he mistakes the person, he might actually help her find a solution to her problem.

"You should fight those feelings. He's happy and you don't want to be the one to ruin it for him, do you?"

"Of course not," she responded.

"In that case be a friend, be there for him, but don't ask him for more. Don't take advantage of his trust in you. You might both end up hurt and in the worst case scenario, you would make him stop liking you and even make him hate you. You need to be careful about this. I know that it's difficult, but try not to be selfish and take him away from his girlfriend. Respect _his_ feelings and . . . just try to be happy for him."

It was hard to listen, but he had a point. Letting go of him was the one thing she needed to do. No matter how painful it was, she needed to forget and move on. She certainly didn't want to lose him as a friend.

"You're right," she admitted. _Except it's you who I love_, she finished the sentence in her head.


	15. Chapter 15

"What did you tell him?!" Seth finally confronted Renee to ask her whether she had something to do with Dean's strange behavior. For a whole week Dean treated Seth as a poor guy who everybody gossips about and he himself knows nothing about it. Now it started to make sense. Yes, Renee was the person to blame for that. And Seth freaked out when he realized Dean believed that Seth was the one Renee had a crush on. That explained why Dean seemed like wanting to tell Seth something but never did.

"Well, I did not _tell_ him that. He just came to a conclusion and I did not correct him," she defended herself. "I mean, what was I supposed to say? Uhm, I'm sorry to interrupt you, Dean," she dramatized to make a point, "but you're wrong. I don't love Seth, I am actually in love with you?" Renee hoped that Seth would realize how ridiculous that would be.

"I guess not," he replied. "But do you really think that this is gonna solve the problem?"

No, I really don't," she admitted. "Right now, I don't see any solution. I am desperate, so if you have any idea, just tell me. I apologize for getting you involved in this, but I was really desperate. And I freaked out at the thought of him knowing the truth." She paused, then tried her luck. "Does it really bother you that much?" She hoped to get a negative answer, but when Seth stayed quiet, she continued, however, she switched to a defensive mode. "If you mind, I can try to do something about it, I can tell him it's . . ." She tried to come up with a name but failed.

"No," he stopped her, and rested his hand on her shoulder. "It's alright. I know that it's been hard on you. Just next time, if you gave me a heads up, it would nice," he spoke friendly to her.

"Yeah, I should have. I know. I guess I forgot about the whole situation," she tried to explain her actions, or a lack of them.

"You mean you forced it out of your mind," he corrected her. "That's ok."

"I wish I knew what to do," she was thinking out loud. "The only thing I know is that telling him would be a bad idea."

"At this point, I have to agree with that. I know I told you before you need to tell him, but now he's in a relationship and you don't want to confuse him, do you?"

Renee lingered on the word 'confuse' for a while. It could only confuse him if he felt something for her too. She wished she could read his mind and see what he really thought about her. If she told him, would he hesitate what to do? Would he be like "No, thanks," and go back to his new girlfriend, or would he, even for a second, consider breaking up with her in order to get together with Renee? Renee tried to convince herself that it was better not to know. Those _what if _questions never work, anyway.

"You know that I don't," she told Seth, who had to wait for her answer. "I just wish we could forget about the whole thing."

"Well, I doubt that it will be that easy. Now that Dean knows, I mean, he thinks he knows the truth, he's not gonna let it go just like that. I bet he already told Roman, and I believe that it's just a matter of time until he tells me as well."

"Why would he do that?" Renee wondered.

"First he wants to be a good friend and, unlike you," he emphasized, "he wants to give me a heads up, and second," he continued, "he's not that good at keeping secrets. It would not surprise me if half of the locker room knew by next Monday."

"No!" she exclaimed in unhidden horror. She would panic if that happened. "That cannot happen. Tell me it won't," she tried to find a support in Seth who was, unfortunately for Renee, only half joking. "If people find out, I am screwed. God, I've never thought of that scenario. Why the hell did I tell him?" She wished she could go one week back and prevent herself from telling Dean.

"Don't worry," Seth tried to calm her down, "I'll do something about it. I can talk to him, or," he changed his mind when he realized that he was not supposed to know about the situation, "I'll tell Roman to talk to him."

"Yeah, let's involve more people. That'll solve the problem," she said ironically.

"Renee, breathe," he suggested. "Nobody knows, and nobody's gonna find out."

Seth held her worried head and pressed her against his chest. He snuggled her in his arms while sitting on the couch in the common room. He knew that was the one place nobody visited so it was an ideal spot for a private conversation. What he did not realize was that he shared this secret sanctuary with two other people, the ones who could ruin the peace that Renee finally found. It took Seth a while to calm Renee down, but he seemed to have succeeded when he placed her legs up on the sofa and her upper body down on his thighs covered in the Shield gear.

There was not much time left before the start of Raw and they were all already dressed up, Renee had her hair done, but none of that mattered. For Seth, the highest priority was to tranquilize Renee so that she would be emotionally ready for her interviews as well as her encounters with Dean. Seth smiled when he noticed that Renee seemed to have fallen asleep, and did not mean to wake her up immediately. Instead, he carefully lifted her head while standing up, and placed it back on the couch without ruining the happy moment for her. She was still asleep when he approached the door and decided to leave her there for at least a couple of minutes. He would come back later to let her know it was time to get ready for Raw, but until then, she could use the serenity of the Shield's haven.

But as soon as Seth closed the door behind him, he spotted Roman and Dean walking his way.

"Oh, shit," he exclaimed quietly so that they would not hear him.

"Seth, you want to revise the dialogues?" Dean suggested.

"Yeah. . . . Yeah, sure," he planned to sound smooth, but it was harder than it seemed. He kept thinking about them walking inside and finding Renee lying on the couch.

"Shall we go inside?" Roman asked, and pointed at the room that Seth wanted to avoid.

"Actually, I need to get my vest from the locker room," he said, and he wasn't even lying as he luckily left it in the bag which was located in one of the lockers. "So why don't you come with me there and we can revise it on the way?" he continued. He was glad they did not question him or find his behavior suspicious.

"Ok, sounds good," Roman replied, and all three of them started walking away from the room that brought too much stress into Seth's life in the past few minutes.

When he thought it was finally over and he succeeded in taking Roman and Dean's attention away from the room, Dean suddenly stopped walking and turned the other way. "I'll catch you two in a minute, I just need to check if my phone's not in there. I can't seem to find it," he mumbled, and it was too late for Seth to stop him. When he realized what was going on, any kind of action on his side would be considered suspicious. So he just gave up and continued walking toward the locker room together with Roman, leaving Dean to the surprise that was awaiting him.

Dean opened the door and was about to slam close it when he saw Renee lying on the sofa, sleeping. Her face was gentle and peaceful, her eyes were closed so that he could stare at her without her knowing about it, her hands were placed under her head, knees bent so that she could fit her whole body on the short piece of furniture. Her blonde hair was covering half of her face, but it could not cover up her beauty.

It took Dean a minute or two to realize the world did not stop turning in the moment he saw her, and he finally closed the door. One quick sight of Renee was enough for him to forget why he entered the room in the first place. He was able to focus on her only. He slowly moved closer to her until he could not make any more steps without hitting the couch. Then he sat down on the floor next to her, Indian style, and followed his instinct to stroke her cheek. He caressed her hair while looking at her lovely lips. He placed his finger on them and licked his lips fighting with some unknown desire.

When he realized something strange was going on, he sobered up from the dream-like moment and returned to reality. The unknown scared him. That urge he couldn't explain. He immediately took his hand away from her and moved his whole body backwards a little to give himself space to breathe. There was still difficulty with swallowing whilst staring at her. But he couldn't look away for another couple of seconds. When he finally did, he stood up and, leaving everything untouched and the way it was before he entered, he simply walked away.


	16. Chapter 16

"What are you doing?" Dean asked, clearly irritated, after he grabbed Renee by her arm. She was just going to avoid having another conversation with him, but he simply wouldn't let go. He made her face him and look him in the eye. She felt uncomfortable and threatened by Dean's annoyed mood.

"I believe I'm doing my job," she replied in an unfriendly manner, but showing hatred has never been her strong side. She felt rather nervous and started to squeeze the papers that she was holding.

"That's not what I'm talking about. I ask, what are you doing?" The emphasis was on every single word.

"Can you be more specific?" she asked.

"I know you've been with Seth earlier," he explained, but it only resulted in confusing Renee even more. She was wondering what Dean meant by _been with_ _Seth_. She really hoped he did not think that something happened between them. Of course, they were in a room together, alone, but how could Dean know about it anyway? And even if he did, why would he assume that something that would be dangerous for their friendship happened in there?

"So?" Renee didn't even try to persuade him it was not true. He would not believe her, and more importantly, she didn't do anything bad after all.

"So?" he repeated. "Don't you see any reason why you shouldn't do that?"

"No," she admitted bravely. "I believe I am allowed to spend time with my friends."

"Yes, of course you are. But considering your desire to be more than just his friend, I don't trust your intentions."

Renee didn't want to have this conversation with him. They were in the middle of Raw and feeling uncomfortable or frustrated was the last thing she needed. Unfortunately, Dean was making her feel that way and it got worse with every single word he said. As if it wasn't already hard enough for her, he had to confront her and talk down to her.

"I know what I'm doing," she replied with confidence, and turned away from him ready to leave.

"You cannot have him," he shouted so that she could still hear him after she made a few steps. That was when she stopped walking, turned back to him and angrily stepped up to him.

"You think I don't realize that?" she cried. "I know very well that we can never become a couple, I cannot even confess to him what I feel. I'm trying to be okay with that but it's not that easy."

"Then why do you make it more difficult for yourself by spending so much time with him?"

"Should I just not see him again? How am I supposed to accomplish that? We work together," she reminded him.

"But maybe it would be best if you avoided him for a while," he suggested, and this time he sounded a little friendlier. His words were still quite harsh but he needed to be strict.

"I wish I could," she mumbled to herself. Then she looked up at him and said, "I can't do that."

"Well, you have to," he emphasized, and once again returned to his cold attitude. "No good can come from your being close to him. You need to stop this once and for all. . . . I'm telling you this as Seth's friend; if you keep luring him or doing whatever it is that attracts guys to you, I will have to step in."

"Are you seriously threatening me?" She couldn't believe what he was saying.

"Let's say I am warning you."

"I can't believe this." Renee sighed. "You think that the fact that you're Seth's friend gives you the right to tell me what to do? You cannot stop me from talking to him and seeing him, even outside WWE."

"I'm sorry you see it that way, but all I'm doing is really just being a good friend. I cannot let you ruin his relationship and even his life with your obsession." Dean would not stop making Renee angry.

"First, it's not an obsession," she explained. "And second, I've got this feeling that you don't need to worry about it anymore. With this attitude, the whole crash thing will be over soon."

She was hurt, but she tried not to let it show. She hated when Dean acted this way. It made her wonder why she started falling for him in the first place. He could be such a jerk sometimes. And sure, he believed he had reasons to be authoritative, but fundamentally, the truth _he_ believed in did not concern him. It was up to Renee and Seth to deal with the situation. Dean's interference could cause only harm. And it started to show when Renee, offended by Dean's behavior and his words, fought with holding back the tears. She wished Dean would realize what he was doing to her. He came to defend Seth, saying he was his friend, but he seemed to have forgotten that he was Renee's friend as well. He certainly didn't treat her as such; instead he tried to fight her as if she was an enemy. Even with noble purposes, he sometimes went too far.

"I'm glad to hear that," he responded to her previous remark.

"You've achieved what you wanted," she said quietly, losing the strength to argue with him. Realizing she was about to lose another fight, with her emotions this time, she chose to surrender and go hide away from Dean. She could not even look at him; he was able to make her hate him using only words.

She just wanted to go home and be alone, preferably spend at least one week without seeing Dean. Unfortunately, that was a dream scenario which would never happen. In real world, she had to face the reality of constant traveling spiced up with being forced to see and even talk to Dean on almost everyday basis. She was so happy just a couple of days ago, now everything has changed. The crush on Dean which seemed so innocent at first later grew into deep desire fueled with thoughts of enthusiastic future, and finally turned into misery that wouldn't leave her. She was falling in love with him, now he was becoming the one she hated the most. It did not necessarily mean she was falling out of love – love was still there – it was just being buried by Dean's inconsiderate actions.

And the worst thing was that he didn't even realize it. He was repulsing her from him; he unintentionally made her want to avoid not Seth but him, but that was the plan after all. Dean's aim was to convince Renee that she should stop seeing the one she had feelings for, and in that case, he succeeded.

Unfortunately, he did not see what an important role Seth played in the whole story. He might not have been playing the leading role, but he was certainly and literally the supporting act. Since the time she told him about her secret, he was truly her friend, not like Dean pretended to be for Seth; he was always there when she needed him, even when she thought she didn't. He never failed to give her advice or make her see the truth. He did not force her into something she didn't want to do, and most importantly, he never judged her. She loved him for all that and she wished Dean would be more like him. The situation would be much simpler if Seth was the one she felt in love with, but she has never thought of him that way and she didn't want to. Her relationship with him was perfect the way it was. But now Dean stepped in and tried to break their bond, making her lose the one person she could count on. She was destined to deal with the situation on her own, and she knew she would fail.


	17. Chapter 17

Renee was mad. A week has almost passed since she had a proper conversation with Dean. She couldn't forget about it. It was Monday, another Raw was coming, and there have been many times she was forced to interview Dean or discuss something work-related with him. But except for those cases, she did her best to avoid him. She took his advice. He told her that she should avoid Seth for apparent reasons. Although she had no real reasons to do so, just to keep Dean in belief that Seth was the one she had feelings for, indeed, she spent no time talking to him or being alone with him. But she did the same thing with Dean. Now, she might have done it in order to get over him, but in reality, she just couldn't stand him. She hated herself for being obsessed with him, especially when she considered the way Dean treated her last week. He didn't see why it was bad, and he felt no need to apologize. He certainly didn't understand what was going on with Renee, but he had a doubt he had something to do with it. Anyway, he didn't intend to do anything about it.

He would probably keep minding his own business if Renee didn't make it obvious that she was ignoring him. To be honest, she really ignored the whole Shield. It was just a couple of hours until the start of Raw and the authority gathered everybody who was scheduled to appear tonight to give them information regarding the show and each person's role in it. Wrestlers spent some time rehearsing and memorizing new lines and instructions that they were given. Renee herself studied carefully the script and one by one contacted people she was having some conversations or scenes with. She seemed really focused on her job, unlike some other guys who were just goofing around.

Dean received his script but he barely looked at it, he never spent on it more time than necessary. He was always ready to improvise or add his own part that, though, would confuse people working with him. He told himself that he would read the text thoroughly later, he was too fixated on Renee and on what she was doing. He was not sure if she noticed that he was staring at her, but even if she did, she did not let it show. On the other hand, it could be understood easily that she was purposely not looking at and not talking to Dean. She has talked to many other wrestlers, commentators or people doing the office job, but when she was coming close to Dean, or the group of Dean, Seth, and Roman for that matter, she would change direction.

At one point, she was passing them by while they were in the middle of a wrestling-unrelated conversation and Roman, who until now hasn't noticed anything strange about her behavior, being a nice guy, said hello to her. When she did not respond and showed no sign of receiving what he said, although he pronounced it clearly and loudly enough, he wondered if it was just because she was busy and hurrying to talk to Stephanie. But when she was coming back the same way maybe two minutes later and Roman tried to grab her attention so that she would chat with him and Renee just raised her hand toward him, making it clear she had no intention in a conversation whatsoever, he took it personally and found it very strange of her since she was always a nice and smiling person. Now there was no sign of smile on her face nor there could be found slightest eye contact on her side. And this strange and unusually impolite behavior made him curious.

"Is it just me or was that weird?" he asked his colleagues.

Seth was not really focusing on Renee until then, he was lost in the plan of upcoming match, but Dean immediately noticed Renee's reactions, he has been watching her for some time and was quite frankly curious about Roman's attempt to talk to her and what she would do. When she refused to look at any of them, more precisely on anybody standing dangerously close to Dean, it became clear to him.

"What happened?" Seth finally started paying attention.

"Renee just blew me off. Have I done something?" he asked himself.

"Have you?" Dean took interest in that question in order to figure out if there was any other explanation of her behavior than Dean's involvement in it.

"No," he rejected that idea, "I don't think so."

"Now that you talk about it," Seth showed his concern, "the same thing happened to me. Or, actually, she's been avoiding me for a week now. And I don't think I've acted rudely to her nor have I done something to piss her off. I mean, I could have, but I think it's unlikely."

Both guys shared a worried and confused look trying to figure out what it was that made Renee want to avoid talking to them.

Then Dean spoke, "I think I might have something to do with it." His voice was quiet due to his being ashamed of himself.

"What have you done this time?" Roman asked sluggishly, emphasizing it has happened before.

"I think the last time I talked to her, I tried to make my point so badly that I acted thoughtlessly and probably quite rudely as well."

Seth sympathized with Renee and felt bad for her when he imagined what she had to go through talking to Dean, considering the topic of that conversation. Roman, on the other hand, just sighed loudly.

"You should be forbidden to talk to her," he said. "So what was so bad that you made her hate us all?" he wanted to know.

"I can't tell you that," he responded. "It's private."

"Then why the hell do Seth and I have to suffer because of it? She should be avoiding you, not us," he noted.

"I believe that's what she's been doing. It's just that I'm standing right next to you, that's why she has no interest in talking to you right now," Dean tried to explain it to him.

"But Seth said that she's been avoiding him for a week, and I don't think that you've been with him all the time."

Since Seth easily realized why it was so, he intended to help Dean take Roman's focus off the topic. If Dean tried to explain how it was possible that Renee didn't want to talk to Seth either, no matter how distant Dean might be, Seth was sure that Dean would get lost in desperate search for a lie.

"Let's leave it. I believe when Dean makes up for what he messed up, things will get back to normal."

"I agree," Dean accepted Seth's help although he was surprised by it considering Seth was not supposed to know anything about the problem. "I need to talk to her," Dean continued, and planned to do so immediately.

"No," Roman opposed, and stopped Dean by placing his stretched arm against Dean's chest, interrupting his on-going movement and making him step back. "I don't think Renee would appreciate talking to you," he explained his action.

Seth was about to offer himself to ease things between Renee and the guys, or more notably Dean, but he quickly realized that since he was not supposed to have any relevant information about the conflict, his offer would seem coming out of nowhere and being pointless. So he just waited for situation to resolve without his interference.

"You better keep your distance," Roman recommended Dean, who was a little angry at Roman for stopping him and commanding him what to do and what not to do. "I'm gonna find out what's the matter and hopefully make Renee see that you did not mean to cause any harm. Or did you?" Roman asked doubtfully when he noticed Dean looking away like a guilty dog that knows he's been caught. "Oh, Dean. Why don't you just learn when it's time to shut up?" he asked him rhetorically, shaking his head in disbelief that there was yet another mistake caused by Dean that he now needed to fix.


	18. Chapter 18

As Roman promised, he would go to Renee and solve the problem that Dean created. He decided there was no need for Dean to be involved until he findx out what was the matter and to what extent was Renee overreacting, if at all. In order to do so, he found a perfect moment when Renee was left alone, taking a break from preparing for tonight, sitting by a catering table and drinking coffee.

At first she didn't notice Roman making his way through the bunch of guys who were way too excited about their soon-to-come performance. When Renee finally spotted Roman and realized it was her he was looking at and planning to have a chat with, she got nervous and felt guilty about the way she acting toward him earlier. It was unfair. Roman had nothing to do with it. But since she didn't want to be around Dean, she had to avoid Roman as well.

When Roman was only few steps away from her, knowing there was no escape, Renee put down the cup of black coffee, stood up, and courageously looked him in the eye. He was taller than her, and although he was a genuinely nice guy, whenever he wanted to look serious, he looked intimidating as well. That made Renee even more nervous and a little scared of him, even though she knew he would not yell at her or act superiorly.

"I'm sorry." She was the first one to speak. "I did not mean to –" She wanted to continue in apology, but Roman interrupted her.

"It's okay. Dean told us it was because of him."

"What did he tell you exactly?" She started to worry, and her mind filled up with overwhelming number of possibilities, from the furthest lies to deepest truths, which even Dean did not know about so that we could not possibly talk about them, but they preoccupied Renee anyway.

"Well, not much," he admitted. "But I know that whatever it is he's done, he feels guilty about it. He's hiding it well, but I'm sure he does."

"I doubt it," Renee opposed in a cold manner. "He sounded pretty assure of the rightness of his decision last time I talked to him. I don't see why he would suddenly see it otherwise."

"Why don't you tell me what is this all about?" Roman asked.

"I can't."

"I know, it's personal," he repeated Dean's words, but it didn't stop him from trying to find out the source of Renee's ignorance of Dean. "Is it something you did? Or Dean? Or some secret that _I'm_ not supposed to know?" he guessed.

"No, it has nothing to do with you," she assured him. "It's my problem that Dean seemed to turn into his business, although it kind of doesn't concern him," she explained.

"Kind of?" Roman lingered on those two seemingly unimportant words of which he was sure that had a significant place in that sentence.

"It's not that simple," she responded, although it really was, she just didn't want to tell him.

"Look, if you need privacy to openly speak about it, we can go somewhere else, away from all these people, but you're telling me what's going on, that's out of discussion." He felt it was necessary for him to put his foot down. She gave him a desperate look in order to soften him up, but he kept being bossy about the matter. He wanted to know the truth and she had to realize there was no other way than to tell him.

Now she had two possibilities, as there seemed to be two different versions. One, the lie she made up to satisfy Dean, or more like kept alive since she wasn't really the one who came up with it, and if it was up to her, she would have scrapped it long time ago, but in order to keep Dean away from the second version, the real truth, the one only Seth knew, she had to go with it. And suddenly she was facing another important decision because it was inevitable that Roman need to be told one of those two possible secrets. As far as a right thing to do, it was supposed to be a simple decision. And Roman certainly did not present a threat if she told him what was really going on. But since he would not be the only one to know, Roman and Seth would gain an advantage and could easily gang up against her; they would be in control. On the other hand, if she was to lie once again, it would get her nowhere, if something, Roman might agree with Dean's advice to Renee not to hang out with Seth, and that would mark the end of Seth's support in the whole being-in-love-with-Dean thing. But if telling Roman she had feelings for Seth was the scenario she would decide to go with, Roman was a smart guy after all, would he even believe it? Then again, would he believe she was in love with Dean? There was only one way to find out.

"Alright," Renee resigned, and cleared her throat to explain everything to Roman. She decided she would tell him right there, in front of everybody; it might not have been a clever choice, but all those people were focused on their own conversations, and their presence seemed to give Renee a comforting feeling, even an encouragement. She certainly did not feel as cornered as she would if she were alone with Roman in a quiet room, far away from civilization. "Last Monday, Dean and I sort of had an argument about _advice _he gave me. Well, it was not really an argument and it wasn't a piece of advice that he gave me either."

"I don't understand," Roman admitted. He certainly expected her to be more clear about it.

"Dean simply forbade me to do something." She quickly realized after a glance at Roman's face that this was not the right way to explain something. No matter if she wanted or not, she had to start from the beginning, or even better, with revealing the most important part, the source of every single problem she has been facing since the time she finally stopped denying and realized she wanted to be more than just Dean's friend.

"I'm in love with Dean." She made it as simple for Roman to understand as possible.


	19. Chapter 19

"You're in love with Dean," Roman repeated a sentence that he found hard to believe. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and, with many questions in his eyes, looked at Renee who, in that rare moment, seemed to be calmer and better at handling her emotions than Roman. "How did that happen?" he was curious to know.

"Gradually, I believe," she responded half-jokingly.

Realizing the two of them were surrounded by so many people and there was certainly an important and private conversation ahead of them, Roman wondered if they shouldn't go somewhere quiet after all. "Are you sure you want to risk that somebody accidentally overhears what we're talking about?"

"You know, I actually don't mind staying here. I think that nobody is interested in our conversation and moreover, we can always stop talking and –" she kept explaining but was rudely interrupted by Roman.

"You're in love with Dean?" He raised his voice and at that point Renee worried that somebody might hear them; it wouldn't be too difficult considering that Roman was almost shouting. Surprisingly, Renee stayed calm.

"Why are you freaking out?" she asked Roman who seemed pretty upset, what was not a typical feature of his personality.

"I'm not freaking out," he tried to persuade her, but the way he pronounced those words was not very convincing. "I just don't understand what the hell's going on," he continued. "You're in love with Dean," he kept repeating. Renee highly appreciated his change of tone. There was a change in his attitude as well. He smiled at a thought of the possible couple. Then he looked away; he subconsciously searched for Dean but failed to spot him. When he looked back at Renee, the smiled was gone, it was replaced with concern. "Oh," he exclaimed as soon as he realized that Renee and Dean's relationship was not perfect at the moment and it certainly didn't please Renee. "Oh!" Another realization came right afterwards. Until then he seemed to forget about the biggest obstacle, the fact that Dean was in a relationship. "So I guess he doesn't know," Roman assumed.

"Of course not. And there's no need for him to find out," she added, making it clear she insisted that Roman do no tell him.

"So," he returned to the original topic of the conversation, "why are you mad at him? I mean, is there any particular reason?"

"There is. I wouldn't be mad at him just because I love him and he doesn't love me back or because he has a girlfriend and I'm jealous of her," she felt she needed to state.

"I've never said that," Roman opposed.

"I know."

"So what happened?" he asked when she didn't seem she would start explaining without a little push on his part.

"I'm tired of it. I can't take it anymore," she admitted, and suddenly she lost her self-control. She's been trying hard to hold on and get over it, get over Dean, but with him around, permanently reminding her what she was doing wrong, treating her like a little child, giving her orders and acting like all her decisions were wrong, it was incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to move on. He helped her see that she didn't want to be with such person, though. She did not want to be around him and she avoided him because she couldn't stand if he were to give her another lecture. Simply said, she was tired of Dean's shit. She had just enough.

"Is it because of something Dean said? It's always something he says or does," he continued without waiting for Renee to answer his question. "He can't keep his mouth shut. So what was it this time?"

"In order for you to understand, you need to know that Seth knows everything."

"Wait, does he already know you love Dean?" he wanted to be sure.

Renee nodded and added a short explanation, "He sort of found out himself some time ago. I was not happy about it at first but then I realized it was a good thing. I was able to talk to him about it and he was really helpful."

"Was?" Roman noticed the past tense and believed she had a reason to use it.

"Well, apparently I'm not allowed to contact him anymore," she said angrily yet pretending she was amused by it.

"Why would that be?" Roman laughed at the absurdity.

"Because Dean said so," she explained, using sarcastic voice to emphasize how irritating it was.

"That's bullshit." He chose not to believe it, simply because it made no sense.

"There's another thing you need to know. Then it can be more possible for you to understand. Dean believes that I'm in love with Seth," she told Roman, and suddenly it all sounded like a plot from a soap opera.

"And how did that happen?" he wondered.

"I didn't tell him otherwise. Anyway . . ." She decided to conclude it and make it sound more like a real problem. "Here's what's going on. Dean thinks I love Seth but since he's in a relationship he believes that it's too dangerous for us to hang out; that's why he _advised_ me to step aside and avoid him, to avoid temptation or something."

"But you don't love Seth," Roman was trying to keep track.

"Exactly. But since Dean doesn't know the truth, he finds it to be an issue that I keep hanging out with Seth and apparently it is enough to give him right to interfere."

"Oh, I see. He thinks he's doing the right thing but first, it's none of his business, and second, since he knows nothing about it, he's doing more harm than good."

Renee sadly nodded and after standing for a long time, she finally sat down on a chair. Roman followed her; he grabbed a chair and moved it next to Renee, and then he sat down on it. Renee picked up the cup of coffee that she had put on the table nearby so long ago that now it was cold. When she took a sip and found out it didn't taste good anymore, she put it down again and then she looked at Roman hoping that he would come up with a simple solution or advice to her problem. When he didn't say anything, she sighed sadly.

"I wish I could just have a week without seeing Dean. But no, that's not how it works," she ironized. "I need to be around him all the time, I need to make interviews with him, I need to watch him do his job so that I can do mine. Dammit!" she exclaimed. "All I'm asking for is a permission to get him out of my mind," she revealed her concern. "Reality sucks. And now I can't even talk to Seth about it. And Dean's just happily walking around, with his ego, perfect career, new girlfriend, making decisions for me, acting like a God and turning my life into a misery. You know what? Maybe I should quit. That would solve my problems, wouldn't it? I could finally get more than a minute without my mind set on him. I like it here and I like working in wrestling industry but what wouldn't I do to make Dean happy. He wins. I can go back to Canada and interview hockey players or something."

"Stop!" Roman had to silence her. "Just stop! You're not going anywhere. You're staying right here. Dean has no right to act this way. I'm sure he doesn't even know what he's doing and he certainly has no idea how much you suffer because of him. Yes, he can be a pain in the ass sometimes and quite often he believes that he's the one to serve justice even outside the ring, no matter if it's his business or not, but I know he wouldn't be happy if you left. In fact, if he heard you want to leave, he would be the first to stop you. He cares a lot about you, I guarantee that. He cares about Seth too, I suppose that's why he tries to protect him from you, but he sometimes goes too far in what he considers a good deed on his part. He needs to be told what he's done. You know what? You stay here and I'm gonna talk to him right now," Roman took the initiative.

"No." Renee tried to stop him, but her effort was useless. Also, she didn't really want to prevent him from talking to Dean; it was better to have somebody to do it than to keep suffering because of Dean's lack of true-fact knowledge.

"It'll be alright, babygirl," Roman assured Renee, and headed toward the rest of The Shield.


	20. Chapter 20

Seth and Dean, left alone and too easily distracted by all the noise, kept talking about unimportant and wrestling-unrelated things rather than discussing actual upcoming Raw and their role in it. They could always argue saying that it would be pointless since Roman was not there to hear them, therefore they would need to repeat everything they would come up with during his absence.

They somehow got so interested in the topic of their discussion that Roman surprised them by his presence. But although he managed to pull them out of the conversation, he didn't speak. He ignored Seth – he had nothing to tell him – but he kept staring at Dean, giving him this uncomfortable and hateful look, showing his dominance and causing Dean to look weaker then he actually was. He used this look often in the ring when he needed to prove his leadership in the stable or to intimidate his opponents. Now he didn't really have to do either, but he found this attitude useful in the current situation.

"So I guess you have found out what I've done," Dean assumed by simple glance at Roman's widened nostrils that made him look like a bull right before attack.

"Yes. And unless you fix it, you're in a big trouble," he warned him authoritatively.

"Well if you remember, I offered to go and talk to Renee, but you were the one to stop me."

"I still agree with my decision. You can't do this over and over again. You mess up and then you use your charm or whatever to make that person forgive you. Words are not enough. Maybe it'd work out for you one more time, but you're gonna screw up again eventually; we can count on that," he made a remark to which Seth reacted with a smile, which he tried to hide by looking down.

"I'm not gonna –" Dean wanted to defend himself, but Roman wouldn't let him.

"You are," he insisted, and his tone was very persuasive. "Now, please, let me finish. What you need to do is a lot more than trying to explain to her why you acted the way you did. If you do that, I'm pretty sure she'll turn away the moment you open your mouth. Of course, you can apologize to her verbally, but please, and I cannot stress this enough, prepare your speech ahead. No improvising, or it'll go terribly wrong. But the most important part is taking action. You have to do something. You have to prove her that you are her friend and you stand beside her, no matter what she does or what decision she makes."

"But –" Dean found a pause to protest.

"No but!" Roman wouldn't allow him to say anything. "There's no other option. You swallow your pride and apologize, big time."

"Are you seriously ordering me what to do?"

"Well, from what I've heard, you did the same thing with Renee," he reminded him. "If you thought that was okay, I don't see why it would be a problem now," he explained authoritatively.

Unlike Dean and Roman, Seth was quiet; he did not interfere with the conversation those two were having. It was none of his business, at least not officially. And moreover, he didn't feel the need to say anything because Roman had everything under control. Seth was enjoying him acting like a big boss and giving orders to Dean who was like a little child whose toy was being taken away. Dean had to know that Roman was right, Dean probably felt it the same way, but when Roman openly confronted him about it and told him his opinion, Dean couldn't show any weakness. He had to protest, it was in his nature to do so. It fascinated Seth to see it, and it was even more interesting since he knew all the facts. He realized that Renee probably told Roman the truth; he could imagine how insistent Roman could be when he wanted to know something so badly, and also Roman was accurate about the facts so he had to have received all the information. The only thing Seth didn't know was the main topic of the discussion. Since Renee hasn't talked to Seth for a couple of days, he lost track and now he was sort of lost in trying to figure out what was going on this time. What was the catalyst, he wondered. Of course, he couldn't ask the guys, at least not Dean. Maybe he could talk to Roman though after this was over. Or Renee, in case she finally decides to stop ignoring him.

Dean was urged to say _I hate when you're right_ to Roman but he successfully fought it away. Instead, he started thinking what could be that special gesture that would help him make Renee forgive him. The more he was thinking about his last conversation with her, the more he saw how inappropriate his behavior was. He was being a jerk indeed. He had no right to tell her what to do and he completely forgot that it must have been hard on her to deal with her feelings and try to make them go away. He believed that she did her best to stop her emotions and go numb, but she couldn't deal with it by herself. And to make things even worse, Dean, instead of helping her, put her under pressure and acted judgmentally about it although it certainly wasn't her fault. She wouldn't try to "get" those feelings, they simply happened.

"I get it," Dean declared. "I fucked up and now I need to repair what's broken," he spoke as an idea was starting to shape in his mind.

"That's right," Roman confirmed. "But remember –"

"No empty words," Dean finished instead of him. "No words at all. That's the ideal version, right?" he turned to Roman to get his opinion.

"Well, I didn't say th–"

"I know," Dean interrupted him again. "But when I don't say anything, I cannot screw up again, now, can I?" It sounded like a challenge, but Dean didn't mean to actually try and see if it were possible. He honestly believed that it would work that way.

Seth got interested in Dean's plan. He certainly sounded like he had a plan, but he wouldn't tell them. Nobody could see what it was that he intended to do. But Seth hoped it wouldn't end in disaster. For everybody's sake, his deepest wish was for Dean to succeed. He didn't want to see Dean and Renee fighting or ignoring each other. He wanted them to make up and, even though he really wished for them to get together, it wasn't possible at the moment, but they could still be friends and enjoy each other's presence rather than hope not to bump into each other and have only forced formal conversations in their workplace.

"So what is it that you're gonna do?" Roman wanted to know.

"Oh, you'll see," Dean kept it a secret. "But I can promise you I'll take your _advice_," he emphasized as he didn't want to use the word _order_ and make it look like he was just obeying Roman's commands. "I'll keep the bullshit level stabilized," he promised and smiled, "and under control by not saying anything."

"You're just gonna apologize without actually saying anything?" Roman wondered since it sounded like a joke to him. He didn't believe Dean could manage to do that.

"Yes. She'll forgive me without me saying _sorry_," he presented his vision of the plan to Roman and finally Seth who both guys seemed to have forgetten about. "No words mean nothing to get mad about," Dean continued. "Instead, I'll make her love me."


	21. Chapter 21

The arena was slowly emptying out, but Renee took her time before coming back to the locker room to change and finally leave. It was a long day; she had a lot of work to do. She was tired, even exhausted, and she just wished to get back to the hotel and rest for a while. Of course, it was late and she had to wake up fairly early so she wouldn't get much sleep . . . even less, considering she had to prepare for the next show. All the travelling was, without doubt, wearying, but all people working for WWE knew what they were going into when they decided to sign the contract.

Renee longed for taking a long shower that would help her relax. She planned on doing so immediately, right there in the arena. She has already spent a lot of time in the building, a few more minutes would not make any change. She believed she would find the locker room empty – she has seen most of her colleagues leave – but she didn't mind being alone, in some way it made her glad; she wasn't in a mood for conversation or small talk.

When she finally got there, she opened the door and reached for the light switch to get some light into the room, but it didn't seem to work. She tried again and then one more time, but it was useless. She was pretty sure that it worked when she was in there the last time, just an hour ago or so. Now it apparently didn't. It was irritating, but she remembered she could turn the light on in the bathroom and then simply keep the door open. It wouldn't allow much light in, but it was something; still better than absolute darkness. Yet, she didn't want to spend a lot of time there. It was not scary, just unpleasant and a bit frustrating. It was enough, though, to make her feel worse, and she wished to be in her bed already.

Something more than an hour later, she arrived to the hotel where all the Superstars and Divas were staying, and quickly headed toward the elevators to get to her floor. The halls were empty and the only people she saw where members of the hotel staff. They enthusiastically welcomed her back in the hotel, but she was too exhausted to put more effort into acting nicely to them, so all she did was to fake a smile. She walked briskly – that was what she put her remaining bits of energy into – in order to get into her room and curl up in bed. It wasn't really that cold but she needed to feel the warm and comfy duvet; even the thought of it was making her sleepier.

She searched her bag to find the card and open the door and then picked it up. A long yawn accompanied the action. She automatically covered her mouth with one hand and used the other one to grab the door handle. Her bag was hanging on her arm near the elbow, but when she got inside, she threw it carelessly on the floor. She headed for bed. On the way there, she lost both shoes, leaving them in the middle of the room, laying sideways, because she wasn't in a mood to place them tidily by the wall, next to the door, as she usually did. Then she took off her clothes, staying only in her underwear, as she didn't feel like getting her pajamas and putting them on. It seemed like too much work. It was already pretty late, and she couldn't lose another minute with something so unnecessary.

She fell asleep immediately. The bed was just too comfortable to allow her stay awake even thirty seconds longer. The next day, or actually the same day she went to bed, was going to be a busy one, even though she didn't necessarily have to wake up as early as usually; she could stay in bed for a little longer than in the last few days. And then, when she would be done with all the work in the evening, or at night, her day off would begin. That was something she was really looking forward to; she had no plans yet, but she was sure she would come up with something later. If not, a whole day in bed would do.

It seemed like morning came too soon, but it was already eight when this unexpected but very pleasant smell started to spread around the room and filled it up completely, causing Renee to wake up. She stretched her arms and legs whilst still lying in bed with her eyes closed. A smile was forming on her face, due to indescribably good mood she woke up with. It was unusual since it was caused neither by a nice dream nor by a long sleep. Although she didn't get as much sleep as she wished to, she was truly happy and ready for another long day. But as soon as she started to be aware of reality, it all seemed wrong. How come she smelled coffee when she was supposedly alone in the room?

She opened her eyes, and it took her by surprise to see Dean standing next to her bed, holding a tray with something she couldn't see because it was too high for her to reach it by her sight. Renee reflexively started to panic.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "How did you get inside?" she wondered while trying to sound angry. She failed; the smirk on Dean's face made it impossible to be mad at him for letting himself in her room without her permission.

Dean kept smiling, but he almost broke his rule of not speaking when he opened his mouth to point out to Renee that he was able to see her pink laced bra. He wanted to be a gentleman and looked slightly away, but Renee quickly noticed something was wrong when she saw him grinning. She totally forgot that she was wearing only her underwear. When she finally remembered, she pulled the blanket up to cover up her body, but she couldn't avoid blushing.

"What are you doing here?" she tried to stop him from thinking about her almost naked body. Her voice was soft and welcoming, she didn't sound angry at all. She was still a little embarrassed; maybe that was why.

Renee waited for him to answer, but instead he placed a tray with hot black coffee and maple syrup pancakes in front of her. She didn't understand what was going on, but she welcomed the idea of breakfast in bed. She needed to adjust the tray, though, and move it a little closer to her knees. Unfortunately, in order to do so, she had to get her arms out of the duvet, and it resulted in another underwear exposure. Renee sighed and angrily shook her head in disbelief of how dumb she was to not consider the consequences of her actions.

Luckily, Dean didn't come to make fun of her. He, in terms of being her friend, gladly tried to help her out. He looked around the room and as soon as he spotted a pistachio green cardigan hanging over a chair, he went there and grabbed it, and then returned to hand it to Renee.

"Thanks," she replied, and swiftly put in on, being careful not to spill the coffee.

When she finally felt safe and gained back her confidence, she asked again, "Why are you here? And why did you bring me breakfast?"

He still didn't answer. There were things he wanted to say, and more and more he felt the need to explain some things to her, as well as tell her how sorry he was for his immature behavior. But in order to keep playing by the rules he set, he couldn't let out a single word, not even a syllable.

She kept staring at him; she stopped hoping to get an answer, but it was a nice change to see him smiling at her, not being mad or acting bossy for whatever reason. She couldn't look away and she couldn't stop smiling back at him; corners of her mouth were fixed in high position and her eyes were sparkling with delight.

Having a king size bed, there was enough space for Dean to sit down next to her to be closer to her in order to stop looking down at her, but rather to look in straight direction. He waited for her to start eating, but she seemed to be focusing on his face and rather confused about what to do. He decided to take initiative then; he picked up the fork and the knife and started cutting the pancake. When he forked a piece of it, he added a slice of banana and lifted it to get it inside Renee's lovely mouth, since she didn't seem like doing it herself.

As soon as she realized what he was doing, she obediently opened her mouth to allow him feed her, but immediately protested, although quite lazily. "I can eat by myself," she said, but her mouth was still full so he couldn't hear her clearly. Moreover, she had to cover her mouth so that the food wouldn't accidentally fall out. She noticed, however, that he, ignoring her last sentence, was about to grab another piece of fresh and warm pancake so she had to stop him by taking the cutlery away from him. "I don't need you to feed me," she repeated, but gently enough so that he wouldn't think she was ungrateful. Hearing her, he let go and moved aside from the tray, looking a little disappointed. She didn't want to cause that; she appreciated what he was doing for her, for whatever reasons, and she hoped he knew that. But seeing his long face, no matter if he was faking it or not, she felt she had to do something about it. Therefore, this time she was the one to get some pancake and start feeding him. This way he would see that she cared and, as a bonus, he would hopefully understand how demeaning it is to be fed by another person. He didn't, though. He was truly enjoying Renee putting tasty food into his mouth. And he could see that she was enjoying it too. His plan was working. So far.


	22. Chapter 22

Renee shared a long look with Dean. She slowly took the fork out of his mouth and placed it on the plate. Her eyes were still fixated on his. Her face was expressing confusion, and a similar emotion was building on Dean's face. The fork slipped out of the plate but landed on the tray, making a noise which none of them seemed to pay attention to. She then picked up the tray and moved it away, placing it on the nightstand beside her bed. She realized breakfast didn't interest either Dean or her anymore. Hunger became a secondary need; lust a primary one. The tension was rising, and hit the high spot when Dean leaned toward her and for a slight moment switched from being fully focused on her eyes to reaching for her wavy hair, which caught his attention. He craved for touching it and feeling its softness. A smile appeared on his face as soon as he inserted wisps of her blond hair between his fingers. He played with her hair for a while, getting lost in the moment, before releasing it and putting a wisp carefully behind her ear. Then he moved his hand toward Renee's cheek and, while looking into her eyes again, caressed it tenderly.

The room was quiet. The loudest sound was that of their heartbeats. They forgot easily about the outside world. Nothing behind those walls existed. Reality was a distant memory, which was being replaced by the desires and the sight of the other person staring back at them. There were right things to do and there were wrong ones as well, but the difference between them seemed to have ceased to exist.

Saliva in their mouth was forming faster than usually, quickly filling the space and making it necessary for them to swallow. At the same time, the inside of their mouth was dry, though. There was plenty of contrast to spot, creating all those little battles, starting with rationality versus desire and ending with now or never. Essentially, they could be summed up in the ultimate the good versus the bad struggle.

In wasn't hard to notice that Dean was erasing the distance between them, step by step, and the chance for Renee to do something about it was closing. Dean positioned his right hand on the side of Renee's body, over the cardigan, but his hand quickly found a way to get underneath it. Renee shivered when his palm touched her soft skin. He wouldn't stay on that spot for long, though. First, he moved his hand up on top of Renee's shoulder to stop it from hiding underneath the piece of fabric. When he did that, his eyes lingered on the exposed shoulder for a while, his lips wishing to mark it with a kiss, while his brain was trying to stop him from doing so. His mind probably succeeded in convincing him that it was something he shouldn't do, because he moved away from it, slipping his hand down and taking both the blanket and the only piece of clothing she was wearing away from her. He uncovered her body and exposed it to the naked eye, to his eye. Her skin started to glow with sweat as his big hand found its place on her hip.

For a second, she realized what was going on, and she tried to protest and stop him. She opened her mouth to end that tense moment, but he noticed and he wouldn't let her do it. He placed his index finger on her mouth to prevent her from talking. His brain might have lost control over him, but he still remembered the game of silence and he kept it on. Moreover, he wanted her to join in, believing no words were necessary.

It surprised him that he was not confused. He was fascinated, though, both by the sight of Renee in her lingerie and himself. He was influenced a lot by what he was seeing. He was lost, but he did not want to be found.

At first, Renee thought it was strange that Dean was the one to hush her. He was always the one to have something to say. This time he was quiet. He hasn't spoken since he entered her room or, more precisely, since he broke into it. It was a little creepy to see him but not to hear him. But gradually, the vow of silence that this unexpected and uninvited guest was keeping was becoming a less important problem. His actions were the main issue that bothered Renee. And she needed some explanation.

She attempted to interrupt his contemplation one more time. But first, she shook her head, believing it would help her sort out her thoughts. Then she asked Dean, "What are you doing?" She was glad she succeeded in posing a question, but what would please her more was if he gave her an actual answer.

He kept looking at her. No words were coming out of his mouth, though. His pledge to stay quiet was not the matter this time. He, of course, knew what his original intentions were, but now they seemed blurred and even irrelevant. Why he has come to her room in the first place and why he has brought her breakfast was not important. She wanted to know why he was looking at her that way, why his hand was still resting on her side and why he was so close to her, crossing the friendship line and staying far beyond it. The truth was, he was interested in those answers just as much as she was, but he didn't know them. Therefore, he couldn't give them to her. It seemed to him that there were other reasons than her forgiving him behind his actions, reasons which could not be named.

„Dean?" she addressed him, hoping he would respond. Renee didn't know why he hasn't been speaking but, no matter what the cause of it was, she needed him to break the silence.

He heard her calling his name, but he paid little attention to it. She sounded urgent but that angelical voice of hers made it hard for him to focus on the meaning of her words. He listened to the charming melody but even if he wanted to, he couldn't wake up and regain enough consciousness for him to respond with a meaningful sentence.

"You can't do this," she whispered as she tried to be strong. She liked what he was doing; she liked it and she wished he would continue and finish what he started. She longed for him so much. But none of that mattered. The chemistry ceased to be important to her, rationality needed to take its place. She had to end the tense moment before something could go wrong. And in order to do so, she had to be strict, even when she risked looking rather cold.

Dean didn't understand, but he obediently rested his hand on his knee, and he kept his body in a safe distance from hers. She had his attention as he waited for her to explain why he had to stop. She didn't seem to be bothered by his actions before; in fact, he would swear she was enjoying it. But if stopping was what she wanted from him, then he would respect her decision. He even stood up, just to make her happy, as he believed that distance was something she wanted.

She wondered whether he believed what he was doing was alright and not at all inappropriate or he forgot about the fact that he was in a relationship and his actions toward Renee could result in cheating. She wished to know which one it was but she certainly wouldn't ask him. She wasn't ready to face the truth. Even if she knew, she couldn't do anything about it, and more importantly, both scenarios would make her feel worse than ignorance. Knowing he was just being her friend and in his eyes all these touches and looks of desire were acceptable would put her in a strange position. On the other hand, learning that he had feelings for her as well would cause her pain, considering he had a girlfriend. In that case, it would hurt her to know that he had chosen somebody else over her. Therefore, she reconsidered her wish and realized she didn't really want to know what his intentions were.

Both Dean and Renee were waiting for the other person to start talking and come up with some explanation but the room continued to be filled up with silence. Until now, silence was in some way acceptable but suddenly it was becoming unbearable and awkward. The longer they waited, the worse it was. Looking at Dean's face, Renee should have realized he wouldn't say anything. He was rather confused, but the source of his confusion was neither his action nor sudden enchantment by Renee, instead, he failed to see what it was that Renee wanted from him. When he acted authoritatively and tried to give her advice, although in a rather commanding way, she got mad. Now that he was being gentle, he hoped she would forgive him, but she seemed unhappy as well. What did he have to do to satisfy her?

"Can you talk to me, please?" she asked when she got out of the bed and approached him. "I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate what you've done for me," she started when he did not respond. "It was actually really sweet that you brought me pancakes and coffee, but it should have ended there. Look, Dean, I don't know what happened then, but I know it was wrong. I hope you see it. And I would really much appreciate if you started talking because right now you're freaking me out. All I'm asking for is some explanation, so why don't tell me why you're acting this way?"

"Why don't _you_ tell me why _you're _acting this way?" he finally broke his quietness.

"What?" She couldn't hide that his request surprised her. He had a suspicion. Renee got nervous; she felt cornered by him. Now she wished he would stay quiet instead.

"Nothing I do is good enough," he kept talking.

She swallowed with difficulty and sighed deeply. "That's not true," she opposed.

"I thought that breakfast in bed would be a nice surprise. I thought you would forgive me for my earlier childish behavior, but you keep pushing me away," he expressed his thoughts. "I came to apologize, and for a second I thought I was doing well but then you started being hostile. And I'm sorry, but I don't really see where I went wrong, so why don't you tell me?" he asked as he sincerely wanted to know.

"Well . . ." she tried to find the right words, but there seemed to be none. She sighed. She knew he was probably thinking that _her_ behavior was irrational now, but she couldn't do anything about it. She felt desperate and she longed for being able to tell him the truth. "You don't understand," she simply told him.

"You're damn right I don't," he replied. "I wanted to prove to you that I am your friend, and I would do anything for you, I would support you in your decisions, but seemingly you're not interested. You don't care that I try to make it up to you. You know, I got you tickets to a hockey game tonight. I asked Stephanie to give us a night off so that we could go to see your favorite team play, but it was useless, wasn't it?" He continued before Renee could interrupt him, "I made a pledge to myself not to speak, to use only actions to make you forgive me, believing I would screw up if I said something spontaneous, but either I fucked up even without talking or it doesn't matter to you. Or, there's a third option, _I_ don't matter to you."

"That's not true, Dean," she said convincingly in a rather loud voice. She tried to make him believe she cared about him, a lot, but apparently she needed to do more to prove it to him. Unfortunately, she didn't know how.

Dean faked a smile and then he replied, "Tell me when you'll know what you want." He put his hand into his pocket, pulled out two tickets and handed them to Renee. He looked at her one more time before leaving her alone.


	23. Chapter 23

Dean returned to his room. There was nobody in sight, but even if there was somebody in there, he didn't care. He let his body fall freely on the undone bed behind him. It wasn't his bed, but that was of no importance to him.

„Fuck!" he exclaimed.

He stared at the ceiling. There was nothing interesting on it, but it gave him an opportunity not to get distracted from his thoughts. In order to try and find the part where it went wrong, he replayed the scene he witnessed and was a main actor in just a couple of minutes ago. He analyzed it to find a person to blame. Was it him again? Or was it Renee's fault this time? Could it be avoided or was it necessary to turn such a nice moment into a conflict? When he thought about it, he realized that there wasn't really a breaking point. There wasn't a real argument either. It seemed to him that Renee simply stopped enjoying his presence. That was something sudden. She failed to explain to him why there was a change in her behavior. But, without a doubt, she expected him to make it clear what his intentions were as well.

He didn't know. Maybe his behavior was unusual, and maybe his actions were not typical of him, but they expressed his desires at the moment. He acted purely instinctively. This time only, there was no thinking, impulses got the better of him. Was that the problem? Was he supposed to think twice and consider wisely if he should do what he wished to?

„You're lying on my bed!" Roman welcomed him back.

Dean didn't notice Roman coming out of the bathroom. Either Roman was quiet in his walking and wiping his long hair, or, in a much more plausible way, Dean simply got too focused on his mind. It was quite unusual of Dean to get lost in his thoughts, but this certainly was one of those rare moments.

„Sorry," Dean apologized, but didn't care enough to flee his mate's bed.

Roman could start to argue with him or use raw force, his powerhouse element, to make him leave, but instead he realized that something was bothering his colleague and this was the right time for him to be a friend and try to help him out.

"What's the matter?" Roman asked as he joined Dean on the bed.

It seemed as if Dean went back to not talking, but he just didn't have an answer to Roman's question.

"You went over to Renee's, didn't you?" Roman remembered Dean's plans and started to suspect that something happened between them, and probably not in a good way.

"Yeah," he replied casually.

"Did your whole I'm-not-going-to-speak thing fell apart?" Roman couldn't fight the urge of making an innocent joke. "Sorry," he apologized immediately after seeing Dean was in no mood for joking. He wanted to ask him if he did something wrong, if he screwed up again, but that wouldn't make things better. After that, there would be a big chance that Dean wouldn't want to talk to Roman at all. He would probably simply walk away. "What happened?" he finally constructed an adequate question.

Dean put both his hands over his face and stretched his skin. He closed his eyes and pressed on his eyelids, and then he sighed heavily. "I don't know," he replied, and desperately looked at Roman who was sitting next to him.

"I thought you had it all thought out," Roman uttered quietly.

"Me too. I mean, I had."

"So?" the Samoan hoped to get more information.

"I've no idea what went wrong. But I'm pretty sure I did everything right," he admitted.

"Why don't you tell me what happened there? Maybe then I can help you find out why you're desperately staring at the ceiling right now."

"Alright," Dean accepted his offer and sat up to stop looking weak and inferior to Roman. "I went there. I got inside without her noticing, and brought her some breakfast."

"That sounds good," Roman applauded Dean's idea of how to make a woman forgive you.

A smile emerged on Dean's face as a result of reflecting the recent events, especially the nicer parts. "I guess the smell of coffee woke her up, but although it surprised her to see me in there, she didn't seem mad. Then I started feeding her."

"You what?" Roman couldn't believe his ears.

"It wasn't as bad as it sounds," Dean informed him. "It was actually pretty sweet and I'm sure she liked it. She fed me as well," Dean continued but that only added to confusion on Roman's face. He started to suspect the source of the problem, although at that point neither Dean nor Renee found it wrong.

"Go on," he supported him in continuing. He was eager to hear more.

"I acted gently toward her. I kept doing all those small gestures, like looking her in the eyes, playing with her hair, touching her exposed skin . . ."

At that moment, Roman felt like face-palming himself and wondered whether Dean was kidding or blind.

"Why?" Roman asked.

"Well, to be nice. To show her I am her friend."

"Yeah, because that's what friends do," he sarcastically commented. He kept looking at Dean in disbelief. "You have a girlfriend," he reminded him.

"I know," Dean replied as though it was no big deal. "Nothing happened between me and Renee. Moreover, she's in love Seth."

Roman sighed and put his head in his hands. He wished there were no more lies and secrets. He knew they wouldn't be facing all those problems if Renee told Dean that he was the one she loved in the first place. And after hearing what Dean was doing when he was with Renee, it was sort of clear that Dean had to feel something toward Renee too. No sane man would act that way if he wasn't just joking.

"Sure she does," Roman agreed, against his will. He had to play along; the decision wasn't his to make. "But despite that, I believe that she might have considered your actions inappropriate," Roman said in most clear way possible without sounding judgmental.

"So it was my fault?" Dean guessed, but before Roman could answer him, there was a knock on the door.

Roman got up, welcoming the disruption and a chance to avoid having to give Dean a straightforward explanation as to why what he did was not correct.

"Hey, Renee." He was glad it was her. Now she could talk to Dean instead of him. Roman took advantage of the situation and quickly disappeared, leaving the two of them alone.

Renee watched Roman leave and then moved toward Dean. She sat down on the bed beside him and before he could say anything, she whispered, "I am sorry."

It surprised Dean to hear her say those words. "I thought I was the one who screwed up," he admitted.

"No. Not this time. You did everything right. Kind of," she added, but with a smile on her face. "Maybe you took it a little too far," she admitted, "but you were doing it for noble reasons. That counts." He smiled at her to encourage her to continue. He even took her hand into his. "I freaked out," she said. "And I'm sorry I made you think I don't care about you. The truth is, I really do. I appreciate what you're doing for me. And sure, there are things you can't understand, but that doesn't give me the right to push you away."

"If something troubles you, I wanna help you. You can count on me," he reminded her.

"Thank you," she told him. Then she took out the tickets he gave her earlier and pointed at them. "So are you coming with me?" she asked and hoped he would say yes.

He nodded and was glad that she allowed him to be there for her. In a thankful gesture, he pressed her hand and let her know, "I'll help you get over Seth."

Renee started smiling and chuckled for reasons he could not understand. "Yeah, you are certainly the one to do that," she uttered, but welcomed his offer.


	24. Chapter 24

„You're still here," Dean mumbled. He was surprised to see her next to him. He assumed that by the time he wakes up, she would be gone. He was glad that he was wrong and she stayed.

„Of course I am here. I wouldn't leave you," she replied in a way that showed him a lot of care on her side.

He remembered the last night. „That was so not how it was supposed to be. He had everything planned, to a slightest detail. Yet, all was scattered by something that none of them could predict to happen.

„Dean," she gently interrupted him, and looked at him with love in her eyes. „It was perfect," she continued. "You did everything right. I enjoyed last night."

"I doubt you enjoyed having to take care of me," he opposed. He was angry with himself. Deep inside he knew he couldn't see it coming or prevent it, and there was really nothing to do about it, but he wanted to give her everything. She deserved a magical evening, and it ended in such a disaster.

"I didn't mind," she broke the silence after a while. She thought about it; maybe it wasn't perfect, but she wouldn't ask for more. The time they spent together was different to when they were working, surrounded by people who asked them to be professional and take it seriously. In the backstage, in the ring, even in the hotel, there was no place for them to act naturally and be themselves. But as soon as they left the arena and there was no sight of their colleagues, they could joke around and stop taking life seriously for a moment. Rarely she saw Dean being so kind and thoughtful; it was probably because there was no reason to show off and no people to see him and judge him by his behavior. There was only one person he cared about at that moment, and that was Renee.

"Right," he replied sarcastically.

Seeing Dean desperate somehow made Renee happy. It was not because she was cruel or liked seeing him in pain. Instead, she realized that he thought what he did was not good enough and that she perhaps deserved more. By his behavior, Dean was proving to Renee that he cared about her. She didn't know if showing it was intentional or not, but it resulted in a big, honest smile on her face.

"I'm sorry," he felt the need to say. He probably didn't notice that Renee was not mad at him, or he believed that she was faking her good mood.

"See, now that's something I don't understand." She paid attention to his words and thought about them. "You apologize to me for something you couldn't affect," she explained. "But earlier, when I was mad at you and you were supposed to say that you were sorry, it was a problem."

"You didn't like my way of saying sorry?" he focused on an unimportant part.

"I've never said that. The breakfast was a good idea, the match was amazing, and the restaurant was . . ." She stopped talking.

"Not the best choice I have made," Dean concluded.

"Well, I'm just glad I didn't order salmon." She smiled when Dean seemed to approve of it. He looked much better now than when they returned from their night out. But he really appreciated that Renee stayed up with him for most part of the night and took such a good care of him when he felt like shit. Dean remembered what Renee did for him and telepathically thanked her for that.

"What I'm saying is . . ." Renee returned to the original topic and continued, "You have done all those things so that I would forgive you, and, well, it worked, but they didn't really say sorry. They were saying Renee, please, don't be mad at me," she used the best way possible to explain it to him. "While all I really wanted to hear from you were those three words."

Dean understood and he knew he was supposed to say them, but he wanted to do more than that. He felt that if he used words only, it wouldn't be any different from anything else he says. He talks a lot, and therefore he often has to apologize; but since he does it so often, it somehow has lost its importance. Those three words that she wanted to hear were not special to him, but she was. That meant he had to find something else to use as the means of communication and way of achieving her forgiveness. . . . And then there was Roman who advised him to do more than just saying he was sorry.

"Renee," he called her name, and invited her to sit next to him on the bed. "I had no right to tell you what to do and forbid you to see Seth. I also failed at being a good friend and give you some real advice and, most importantly, support." He took a moment to think and organize his thoughts before saying something inappropriate and screwing up again. "I should have acted my age and I promise that, from now on, I will never let you down again. I will never be a jerk to you. And I will always," he paused as he didn't know how to go on. He realized that, once again, he was losing track of what he was saying and the words he was producing were becoming automatic, without him thinking about their real meaning. "I will always," he repeated and looked into her beautiful eyes with a smirk on his face. She responded with a smile; one that gave him a warm, home-like feeling. Now he knew how to finish that sentence. "I will always do my best to keep this smile on." He then rose from the bed to playfully touch her soft lips, which seemed so distant at first. "I'm sorry," he finally said; and to show he really meant it, he erased his smile but kept his eyes locked on hers.

She chuckled when she, after all that time, heard him say it. It was also pleasing to see that he didn't hesitate and didn't try to downplay the importance of the situation.

"Now it's your turn," he interrupted her day-dreaming.

"What?" she didn't understand as she has lost the focus.

"It's your turn to forgive me. I mean, if you feel like doing it," he tried to sound casual.

"Before I do that," she first let him know she would forgive him, eventually, "I wonder why you even acted that way in the first place."

Dean didn't really know why, but he had a theory. He would be lying if he said that he hasn't thought about it, but the solution he came up with was too absurd.

"Okay, I might have an explanation but it's really stupid, so, please, don't laugh."

"I promise," she responded, and got curious.

"It's ridiculous," he repeated so that she wouldn't consider it an important factor in his behavior. "I saw you the other day; actually, it was the night I told you to stay away from Seth. I remember walking into the room where Seth, Roman, and I hang out, and you were there, lying on the couch, sleeping. I spent there a couple of minutes just watching you and kept thinking," Dean sighed before revealing to Renee, "I knew Seth was there with you earlier and it made me wonder. Why him? I mean, I know, he is a great wrestler and an amazing guy, great friend, funny, understanding, loyal, and everything. I know that he's perfect, but still, I couldn't believe it. And I didn't want to admit that he was better than me. I was posing myself the same question over and over again. Why him, and why not me?" Dean found himself getting lost in his thoughts. He speculated and tried to find an answer to the question he has been asking himself for a few weeks.

After a while he realized he was talking to Renee, not to himself, and she was probably laughing at him. When he started to focus and looked at her, he saw that she wasn't. Her face was serious. "Anyway," Dean came to a conclusion, "as stupid as it sounds, I might have gotten a little jealous."


	25. Chapter 25

Those words opened Renee's eyes. She now saw what has been clear to Roman and Seth for a while, that Dean had feelings for Renee just as she had for him. She realized if she decided to kiss him, he wouldn't try to stop her. Maybe he would think it's strange at first, but eventually he would realize it is right and it's what both of them want. But it amazed Renee that Dean admitted he was jealous. It was untypical of him and not thought-through very well. Why would he say it? Did he want to give her a hint? Was he not aware of what it meant? Was he really so blind that he didn't understand he wanted to be with her? Renee expected the latter to be true. If he actually was aware of his feelings, he would either be honest about them or lie, the option Renee has chosen.

„Why? Why were you jealous?" Renee asked to make him realize the truth. She couldn't stop smiling; she was happy. It suddenly all seemed so easy. It wasn't really, there were many problems, but none of them could bother Renee at the moment. It didn't feel complicated at all.

„I don't know," he said, and it sounded like a denial. He wasn't pleased with the reality which seemed to him too confusing and difficult to process. „I guess," he pronounced in a hesitant voice. He decided to continue and see where his thinking would lead him, „I wanted you to notice me and somehow find good qualities in me and . . ." He let the sentence be unfinished.

Renee knew it would not be clever to force him into talking, especially when she could easily recognize his lowered confidence and insecurity. She needed to take initiative and make him feel comfortable instead.

He moved away from her, but she came closer, erasing the distance which Dean had created. She wouldn't let him escape, but she made sure not to scare him either. Renee needed to be patient with him, as he was in a new situation which he had problems dealing with.

"What's going on?" she asked carefully, to make him speak about his problems and not to hide himself from her. She was being gentle and friendly, trying to comfort him with her smile.

"You are an amazing girl, Renee," he found the courage to express his mind. "You don't deserve to be unhappy." Dean somehow managed to get away from the uncomfortable topic and change the direction of the conversation. He made Renee lose focus on him and his issues.

Undoubtedly, it surprised Renee to hear him say that. Unhappy? She didn't feel unhappy at all. But she should, she was supposed to. It seemed as if Renee forgot she was the one suffering in this situation. She was hiding her feelings; she was being forced to forget about them because Dean was in a relationship. She was alone. Yet somehow her mind would keep her believing that it would change. Maybe that was why sadness was not an emotion describing her mood.

"I'm not sad," she opposed, and she made it look like she really meant it. She didn't need to try hard; she really didn't feel that way.

"I know I've said it before," Dean continued, ignoring Renee's statement, "but you should, you have to, forget about Seth. This time, it's not a command. I am being your friend, somebody who cares a lot about you and want you to be happy."

"I am," she emphasized.

"But you know that you will never be with Seth, don't you?" He didn't understand her good mood.

"I know," she responded confidently.

"You need to let those feelings for him go."

"That'll be easy," Renee suddenly admitted, what really surprised and confused Dean. She decided to take a different direction. The original denial was not working.

"How come?" he wondered.

"To be honest, there are none. I've never wanted to be with Seth." Renee decided it was the right time to reveal the truth to Dean. There was no point in lying anymore. It has only made things worse. Dean worried for nothing. He tried to help and come up with a solution to her problem, but he couldn't succeed as long as she keeps hiding the real truth from him. That was why it all needed to stop.

"I don't understand," Dean sighed.

Renee felt ready. She somehow managed to gather all the confidence she needed to reveal her true intentions. She wanted to finally be able to have a meaningful conversation with Dean, with no more lies, no more denial. They needed to explain to each other what they really wanted and together find a way to fulfil their desires. The time has come.

A little disturbance proved to be enough to ruin their moment of truth. When they heard a knock on the door, they could not ignore it. Renee sighed in despair but, at the same time, she felt relieved. Due to that casual sound, she realized what would happen. He would know the truth. Dean would know she was in love with him. She knew that was what was going to happen, but somehow she didn't really know; her mind kept her in ignorance of reality and prevented her from thinking about the consequences of her actions. It was so close but the possible disaster has been averted.

Dean, on the other hand, didn't have a clue what might have happened. He was still too confused to focus. He was scared to try to come up with some theory which would explain it all. He needed more time to absorb the new information.

Since Dean didn't really pay much attention to the repeated knocking, Renee had to get up and see who the saviour and trespasser was.

She opened the door but she didn't recognize the person standing in front of her. That round childish face belonging to a grown-up woman was unfamiliar to Renee.

"Hi, you must be Renee," the redhead said cheerfully, and then let herself in.

"Hello, my love," she addressed Dean lying in bed while Renee was still standing beside the door in shock. It took her a while to close it and realize what was going on. When she did, she got really uncomfortable and it felt too awkward to be there.

When the girl, who was apparently Dean's girlfriend, kissed Dean and he welcomed her as well, she turned back to Renee as to get to know each other better.

"I'm Cassie," she said while Renee tried hard to look casual and keep smiling. She knew she was supposed to respond, say something, anything, but her brain was producing only words she definitely couldn't use, for they were inappropriate and showing her discomfort. Fortunately, this Cassie person didn't seem to need somebody else to join her in the conversation; she was doing fine on her own with all her enthusiasm. One thing that Renee really appreciated was that she seemed like the kind of person who trusted others and had no suspicion whatsoever. "Thanks for taking such a great care of him," she spoke. When she noticed Renee's confusion, she explained, "I've heard about his food-poisoning incident."

"Oh," was the only syllable that came out of Renee's mouth.

"Still, you didn't have to come," Dean joined what could hardly be called a dialogue.

Cassie lovingly looked back at him and, keeping her good mood, she said, "I needed to see that you are fine. Well, I needed to see you in general," she corrected herself. "I've really missed you." It sounded inappropriate to say those things in front of Renee, but it probably wasn't because Cassie wanted to show her dominance and play vicious games with Renee; it simply was the way she was, caring, cheerful, and spontaneous.

"Also," Cassie went on, while Renee wondered why she was still in there. It was neither pleasant nor appropriate. She should have given them privacy, but she couldn't force her legs to move. "I've got some news." When she pronounced those words, it was the first time since she entered that she was not smiling. Her face finally got serious, but it made Dean worry.

"Good or bad news?" he asked as he made his way out of the bed and approached his girlfriend.

"That depends," she responded, and at that moment Renee realized she couldn't stay any longer. No matter what that conversation would be about, it was none of her business, and quite honestly, she didn't want to know.


	26. Chapter 26

Dean stormed out of the room. Only when he left he realized how far-reaching the situation was. He hadn't really thought about it until then. And when it came to him, he needed to escape, to get away from it. It made him feel a little suffocating. It came too soon. They've been together only for something more than a month. The things were fine as they were, he didn't want anything to change. Or, actually, he did. Just in a different way.

His girlfriend was still inside; she had no intentions of following him. He said he would come back, after all. The discussion was not over yet. She probably thought it would go differently. She made her point clear; no ambiguity could arise from her speech, so why did he seem confused? Why didn't he tell her his genuine opinion right away? Why did he leave and, maybe unconsciously, make her feel guilty? She didn't have much chance to look him in the eye and try to find out what he was thinking; he left almost immediately. Actually, after she broke the news to him, he stayed sitting on the side of the bed for a short time, then he stood up and, without a sufficient explanation, left the room.

But getting away from the crime scene didn't suffice. He went farther. Only when he found himself standing on the street in front of a highway he stopped from escaping. He needed to sort out his priorities and decide what it was that he wanted. It wasn't too late to make a decision, he still had a choice. But before he could choose which road to take, he needed to know all the facts. Only then he could decide whether what Cassie told him was good or bad news. He took a deep breath and turned around. But he didn't return to his room. He went somewhere else.

* * *

><p>Renee left. It was time for Dean to pay attention to his girlfriend, but he kept staring at the door. It was not fully closed. It didn't seem to bother Cassie, yet Dean wondered why Renee left it open. It probably wasn't intentional; she simply didn't use enough strength to close it and then she didn't notice there was a gap between the door and the wall. When she stepped out of the room, she didn't look back to be able to see it but kept walking away. She wanted to get away from there.<p>

Dean, with his eyes on the door, slowly walked toward it. Then he looked outside, as if he hoped to find somebody there. Nobody was in sight. Dean sensed that something was wrong. There were no real hints, but everything felt out of place to him. When he returned inside and finally got the door closed, he saw Cassie sitting on the bed, looking back at him, trying to figure out what caused his strange behavior and lack of attention.

"Are you okay?" he asked, as if she was the one whose actions were odd.

"Yeah," she replied. She decided not to ask him any questions and focus on the topic she had in mind instead. She planned everything ahead. She prepared her argument well, since she knew that Dean was a challenging opponent in talking. She was decent, but she realized that if they ever got into a fight, she had no chance of winning. Fortunately, this conversation could not result in an argument. At least that was her opinion.

"I've got a job offer," she went straight to the main point.

Dean's heart started to beat faster. His mind was a little slow in receiving and evaluating the new information but his reflexes worked well. Until now, there was an unnecessary distance between the two of them, created by Dean standing beside the wall. He started walking and stopped only in front of Cassie. Then he sat down and faced her, getting ready for what she was about to say, for he knew there was more to come.

"I know we haven't been a couple for long," she started, "so it would be fair if I made the decision on my own, but I believe I should give you a chance to have a say, because it involves you as well. The way I see it, what we have is a kind of a long-distance relationship and it certainly has its ups and downs. It works but it doesn't feel very serious." She made a pause to see if he had something to say to that. He didn't seem to want to add anything, so she went on, "Now there's a chance to change it. If I take the job, it can help us evolve as a couple, or it can destroy our relationship," she listed the possibilities.

"What do you think?" he surprised her with a question, but he didn't really pay attention to it or anticipated her answer.

"I think it'll get us to a new level," she admitted, and hoped he would agree.

"So where is it?" he wanted to know.

She smiled and then replied, "In Vegas."

"In Vegas . . ." he repeated, but those words made no sense to him. His mind was refusing to accept the whole conversation and take part in it. He seemed absent. He had only a blurred idea of what was going on. "In Vegas . . ." he pronounced the words again, hoping their meaning would stop hiding from him. But something inside of him kept rejecting everything he received by his senses.

"Yes . . ." Cassie got ready to explain why it was a good thing. "I know it'd be different to live in the same city, but when you travel so much, we don't get to see each other often and it's quite annoying, to be honest. This is a great opportunity to spend more time together. I mean, I can refuse the offer, but it seems to me that it would be stupid, since it could actually help our situation. That way, we could have an actual relationship, with everything," she said and winked at him. "So what do you think? I should accept it, shouldn't I?" she asked hesitantly, and hoped to find support in him. But he was different than usual; he was quiet, and he was really hard to read.

He sat quietly next to her, absently looking at the door. After a few seconds, he remembered, though, that she posed him a question. She wanted to know what he was thinking, if he considered it to be good news. And more importantly, whether he wanted to spend all his free time with her or not.

"Yeah," he replied slowly, which made his answer sound hesitant. Two different thinking processes were going on his mind. One was being suppressed and viewed as not so important, but still quite upsetting and influential since it fuelled the other one. The one that kept his mind busy, thinking and rethinking, trying to find a reason why it was so.

Suddenly he stood up, mumbled, "I'll be back," and then he was gone.

* * *

><p>He headed back to the hotel, but to a different room. He took an elevator to the eighth floor, and then he turned right to find the room number 16. He knocked twice and waited anxiously to get inside.<p>

"That was fast," she noted.

Dean did not respond to that; he walked farther inside and found himself a comfortable chair to sit in. For about five seconds, he simply stared at her. She was confused, but he didn't care to explain. Not yet. He wanted to observe first. He wanted to make sure his assumptions were correct. He thought about it again. He revised all the hints and finally came to a conclusion. There could be no doubts.

A deep sigh came out of his mouth as he let his head fall backwards. A smile formed on his face, but it soon grew into a laughter. For once, it was nice to be the one in knowledge. And while his behavior might have seemed strange and unreasonable to her, it made perfect sense to him. This time he knew exactly what was going on. He eagerly stood up and looked at her again.

"It's me, isn't it?" he asked her a simple question. He didn't need an answer though, he knew he was right.

"What?" she pretended not to know what he was talking about, but her fast heartbeat failed her effort.

"You love _me_," he explained with a smile on his face. "You said it's never been Seth, so it must be me. You have feelings for me. Am I right, Renee?"


	27. Chapter 27

„Wow," Dean exclaimed. By the reaction on Renee's face he could easily see that his assumption was right, even though she didn't admit it. „You know, if you told me before, we would avoid all those embarrassing moments and fights we've been having lately. But now I understand why you were mad at me. I was wrong to judge you for spending time with Seth. Hey," Dean suddenly realized, "does he know?" he wondered, but soon came to a conclusion without Renee's help. "Of course he does. Doesn't he? I bet Roman knows as well. Hell, is there anybody else who knows the truth? Am I the only who didn't have a clue?" Those questions sounded like they were meant to attack Renee, they indeed made her feel guilty, but in reality, Dean was just expressing his surprise; he meant no harm to her.

"I'm sorry," Renee apologized, believing it was the right thing to do and exactly what he wanted from her.

"Hey," he approached her, looking at her thoughtfully, aiming at destroying her sad look. "I'm not blaming you. I am sure you had your reasons to keep it from me. But I'm glad I know; although I'd prefer hearing it from you." He said it as a challenge for her to stop hiding from reality and admit the truth.

Although with little confidence, she finally told him, "I have feelings for you. I do, but does it even matter? Look, let's be honest here, what the does the fact that you know really change? You're in a relationship." Dean showed his agreement by hesitant nodding. "You care for your girlfriend, don't you?" she asked him.

"I do," he replied, just as she expected. She kept moving her sight to avoid having an eye contact with him but he finally found her and made her look at him. "But I care about you, too," he added and made sure to sound persuasive enough. He wanted her to believe him.

Hearing those words pleased her, but she didn't want to let that show. His presence, though, as much as his attitude, made her heart race. She wished to see a happy ending, but her brain kept coming up with excuses, trying to make her see it would never happen for them.

"What does it mean?" she wanted to know.

He knew that sentence made sense in the context, but he started laughing at how stupid it sounded. Of course, she didn't really need an explanation as to what those words meant, rather a confirmation that him caring about her wasn't an empty phrase.

Dean sighed. Then he turned to Renee with a command, "Come here." He took her hand and pulled it toward him. He made her sit down, but when she was sitting on the chair, he changed his mind. Floor seemed like a much more pleasant place to sit to him and he asked Renee to accompany him. When both of them found a comfort spot on the soft carpet, he started, "Tell me, Renee, how long have you known how you feel about me?"

"Well," she thought about it, "a few weeks."

"Okay," he accepted and evaluated the new information. "You have had a lot of time to think about it, haven't you?"

"I guess," she replied.

"Now imagine my situation. You want me to be honest? I've got no idea what it means," he admitted. "You're right, I'm in a relationship, and I like Cassie a lot. Yet, I'm here. I don't want you to think that you mean nothing to me. But, at this point, I cannot say I'm done with Cassie, either. Frankly, I'm confused. I don't know what I want."

"Dean," Renee stopped him. "I don't ask you to decide. I'm not going to force into something you're not sure about. Yes, I may be in love with you, but, ultimately, I want you to be happy. If she's the one that makes you happy, than I'm happy," she said but it was hard to believe her.

"Really?" Dean responded and, although he didn't mean to, he sounded a lot like the Miz. When he realized that, he just went along with it. "Oh, really…" A sarcastic tone was suitable. "I don't buy it. Why?" he asked. "If you really have feelings for me, why would just give up that easily? If you want me, fight for me," he said as if it was no big deal and an easy thing to do. The challenge he proposed made him happy inside. The idea of her trying to persuade him she should be the one to be with was appealing.

"Fight for you?" she laughed. "Dean, this is real life, not wrestling. Sometimes it's better to give up than to spend so much time getting beat up and losing in the end," she ended with little enthusiasm left in her. She stood up and looked away; the sight of him was getting painful. It was reminding her what she would be giving up.

"So you're not going to do anything about it?" he couldn't believe it.

"There's nothing I can do. I mean, you want me to fight? But what would I be fighting for?" she asked. "What is this ultimate prize?"

"Well," he paused, "me." Dean smiled. Renee had to smile as well, although she didn't consider it particularly funny.

"That's nice. But as long as you don't feel the same as I do, it means nothing. It's funny," she laughed. "When I was imagining this scene, I thought it would simple. Like boom! And there he is, and he loves you, too. But he doesn't," she sighed.

"Maybe he does," Dean made her believe it may not be over yet. "Maybe he just doesn't know it."

"Then why don't we give him some time so that he can realize what he really wants. No pressure," she added as casually as she could.

"So…," he wondered, "is that it? Several weeks you hide what you feel from me," he intentionally avoided mentioning that she loved him, "and when I finally find out, nothing changes?" he asked as if she had an answer to that question.

"It's strange," she added, "but I guess that's how it is."

"That doesn't seem right."

"I didn't think it would be like this, either. I thought that when you'd finally know, every single problem would be mystically solved. Now it seems like there are more problems than before." Dean couldn't but agree with it. "Yet, I feel relieved. The fact that there is nothing more I can do is somewhat satisfying."

"Come on," Dean sighed, "there is always something you can do. "

"You're right," she agreed with him this time. "But I'm not going to do it," she said believing she knew exactly what he meant. "As I said, as long as you're with her, I'm not going to interfere. But, please, if you think, or if at some point you realize that there's no chance you and I can ever be together, let me know, so that I can move on."

"What if I realize that you are the one I should be with?"

Renee sighed before attempting to explain to him what is wrong with that question. "Should…," she repeated. "That's not the right word to use. Do you know that Bruno Mars's song _Marry you_?" she suddenly asked him. "He sings _I think I want to marry you_. But you don't want to hear somebody say they _think_ that they want to marry you. You want them to be sure. And there's the exactly same issue with your question. What happens, what should you do, when you realize you _should_ be with me? I don't care about that. I don't want you to be with me just because it's better and a right thing to do. I want you to want it. So when you'll _want_ to be with me, that's when you should take action."

"You're really not making this simpler," he concluded.

"We're adults, Dean. We need to think things through before doing something. We work together," she reminded him. "If we get together and it doesn't work out, we'll have to deal with the consequences. That's why I want you to be sure and avoid making quick, spontaneous decisions."

"Okay," he replied, understanding her reasons, but unhappy with the results.


	28. Chapter 28

The conversation was over. There was nothing more to say at the moment, although they came to no conclusion. Dean needed to go back to his room and finish the discussion with Cassie, but halfway there, he bumped into Seth.

"Hey, I've been looking for you," Seth told Dean. "I went into your room, but you weren't there. At least I got to know your girlfriend," he noted. "She seems nice."

"She is," Dean uttered, not giving it any importance.

"It was great to finally see her; I started thinking that you made her up."

"Why would I do that?" Dean asked.

Seth shrugged his shoulders, and then changed the topic. "I thought we were supposed to meet up downstairs and go to the gym," he reminded him of their plans.

"Right," he realized, but quickly apologetically added, "I can't make it."

"Great," Seth responded ironically. "So Roman is in his lazy mood; and now you let me down, too? Am I supposed to go alone?"

"Trust me, I'd rather come with you…," Dean said. He didn't even try to hide how desperate he was.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing; I was just talking to Renee," he started explaining. Then he realized that Seth didn't actually know that Dean found out the truth. "Hey," he decided to take a different approach and maybe have a little fun. "What would you do if you learned that somebody had feelings for your friend?" Dean was curious about his reaction.

"Well, that depends," Seth hesitated. "Is it a secret?" he asked. Dean's question sounded too familiar and therefore suspicious to him.

"Okay, let's say it is a secret. But does it matter? He's your friend and he should know the truth, shouldn't he?"

"I really don't know," Seth took his time to give him a rather uncertain answer.

"Imagine you were told this secret and you wanted to at least give him a hint. The girl doesn't want to tell him, but you believe that he should be told about it. I mean, if I were the guy, I would want to know. What about you? Would you prefer not to know?"

It was making Seth uncomfortable, since he really wished he could tell Dean, but it wasn't his secret; he couldn't let Renee down by revealing Dean the truth.

"Look, Dean, I should really go. If you can't come with me, it's all right," he cowardly backed off.

"You dumbass," Dean shouted at him, but he tried not to sound too angry. "You have known that Renee has feelings for me, and you didn't tell me," he accused him.

"Where do you have that from?" Seth pretended it may or may not be true to see if Dean wasn't just guessing. But it was apparent that Seth suddenly got interested in the talk he tried to escape from.

"Renee," Dean replied. "So now you can admit that it's true."

"Fine," Seth sighed. "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but it wouldn't be fair to her," he explained. "So what happened?" he wanted to know, now that there was a chance to have an honest conversation about it.

"Nothing," Dean responded. "I talked to Renee and … well, that's kind of it."

"And your girlfriend is waiting for you in your room," Seth suddenly remembered. "What are you going to do?"

Dean didn't really need to continue with pretending to be mad at Seth for keeping it from him. He understood and knew that if he was allowed to, he would tell him. Now he wished to just talk to Seth, so that he could try to help him find a solution.

"I have no idea. Renee said there's no pressure on me, but I know she waits for me to make a decision. But I'm really not confident doing it. Dammit! Life seemed easier two hours ago. Now I'm just pressurized from both sides," he said tiredly.

"What do you mean?" Seth needed some explanation. He dragged Dean toward nearest chairs because he knew they would be talking for some time, and the orange walls surrounding them didn't give them a good impression. Once they found an open space and sat down, they could continue.

"First, Cassie told me she had an opportunity to move to Las Vegas, and asked me if I wanted her to. Then I realized the thing about Renee, so I went to talk to her, and she told me it was up to me to choose if we should do something about it. So there are two women, and two decisions I need to make, both of which will change everything."

"Huh," was Seth's respond. "I really wouldn't want to be in your place."

"Thanks, man," Dean smiled ironically.

"What's gonna be your next step, anyway?" Seth hoped that Dean had at least some rough idea.

"Well, I've talked to Renee, and now it's time to talk to Cassie."

"Are you gonna break up with her?"

Dean didn't really want to answer all those stupid questions. He didn't know what to do, and so little could he tell Seth. It was pointless to ask. But Seth asked, and Dean had to respond. He chose not to answer directly, though. Instead, he said, "I've got to do something, right?"

"Is that yes?" Seth suspected.

Dean was biting his fingernails while trying to figure out if that's what he wanted. Should he leave Cassie? Should he start dating Renee? It seemed unfair. What has Cassie done to deserve the end of their relationship? And why should getting together with Renee solve anything? If only he didn't have to make that difficult decision. But the longer he would wait, the worse it would get. If there was something like the right time to choose, it was now. There was no way he could take several days or weeks to respond. He sighed at that thought. The situation made him desperate. But he shouldn't feel that way. Two women were fighting for him, after all. Both wanted him, but only one could get him. Either he tells Cassie to take the job, and their relationship gains in importance, or he chooses to take another road, and tries something new. There was no way he could know how dating Renee would end. It was a risky choice.

"I'm gonna talk to Cassie," Dean said out loud, to gain so much needed confidence. "Maybe," he thought, while Seth was carefully listening, "I could tell her about the situation and she can help me make up my mind." It sounded as a good idea, in his head.

"No!" Seth shouted. "Just no!" he opposed. According to him, that was a stupid, disastrous idea.

"Why not? That could actually help," Dean believed.

"How exactly?" he asked as if it was the stupidest thing somebody has ever said. He didn't wait for an answer, though; he knew that Dean couldn't come up with anything logical since there was nothing logical about it. "Do you want to end up with zero girls who wants to be with you? 'Cause I really don't think that asking your girlfriend if you should dumb her to be with somebody else could work out for you. Who would want to hear that their boyfriend hesitates whether he should stay with them, or break up with them and replace them with someone new? In my opinion, that's how you lose a girlfriend. I might be wrong," Seth said. Then added, "But I'm not."

"But," Dean tried to protest but Seth would not let him interrupt his speech.

"I'm not finished. And now, let's take a look at how this stupid decision could be perceived by Renee," he said ironically. "You're not sure whether you want to be with her or not. So what do you do? You discuss it with your current girlfriend. You tell her that there's somebody else who likes you, and you may or may not have feelings for her. You ask your actual girlfriend for advice about your potential girlfriend. How do you think that would make Renee feel? And again, how would that make Cassie feel? I mean, do you know anything about women at all?" Seth concluded.

Dean was not happy with Seth's offensive attitude. "Fuck you," Dean exclaimed tiredly. "So what if you're right? That would help me solve the problem, wouldn't it?" he downplayed the importance of the situation. "And anyway, you don't know Cassie. She's not that kind of girl who gets upset. She's not a girly girl; and, for your information, I'm sure she would appreciate honesty."

Seth sighed when he realized he couldn't do anything to change Dean's mind. He surrendered. "Do whatever you want. But don't say I haven't warned you."


	29. Chapter 29

Just a few moments before stepping inside the room, Dean rethought his plan. That was when he realized that he couldn't really talk to Cassie about Renee. Seth was right; that would be stupid, indeed. No good could come out of that discussion. Moreover, there were more relevant things to talk about. So when he opened the door, his mind was set on Cassie and her moving to Vegas. He was no longer thinking about Renee.

Cassie was awaiting him, comfortably lying on his bed. She didn't seem mad or upset that he left her there, alone, for more than was tolerable. She immediately noticed the door opened and in order to show that she was ready to pay attention to him, and also that she was glad that he returned, she sat up, but did not make a single move in his direction.

"So what did she say?" she asked him casually.

Dean immediately got interested, and also suspicious, but he wasn't quite sure what she meant. "What? Who?"

"Renee," Cassie responded as if he told her beforehand where he was going.

Her quick and accurate conclusion, no matter what it was based on, surprised him. He didn't mention he would go to see her and talk to her. Hell, he had no idea he would get there when he left.

Since Dean was unresponsive, Cassie smiled so that he wouldn't be so tensed, and ask him to sit down next to her. She waited until he did so, and when he was close enough for her to have him under control, preventing him from another escape, she started the conversation. "You went after her, didn't you?"

"Uhm, no," Dean refused that accusation. She wasn't totally correct, so technically he wasn't lying.

"Okay," Cassie accepted his hesitant response. "But after you left, you went to talk to her. Or is that not true?" She was certain it happened. The only real question was whether Dean would admit it.

"Yeah," he finally said. "How did you know?" he wondered.

"That's the least important thing right now."

"Huh," Dean mumbled. "I guess you want to return to our original conversation."

"Not really," she responded, trying to figure out whether Dean knew where she was going with this.

"I don't understand," Dean admitted.

She smiled in amusement. She took his hand and placed it between her palms. Then she looked him in the eye and saw that he was really confused and needed an explanation. But so did she. Her smile disappeared when she opened her mouth to pose him a simple, unexpected question. "Did you tell her you're in love with her?"

"What?" Dean freaked out. "I'm not in…," he protested fiercely before he was interrupted.

"All right," she needed to calm him down, but didn't change her opinion. "How come, then, that she's all you're talking about?" Her voice didn't express anger; it was steady and serene. It reflected her emotions. She wasn't mad, although she had every right to be. "I know more about her than about your family, or about your job," she added spontaneously.

"None of that is true. I love…," he wanted to finish that sentence, but she wouldn't let him. She stopped him by placing her finger on his lips.

"Don't say it. You know that you wouldn't mean it. Come on, Dean," she said, hoping to cheer him, as well as herself, up. "Face the reality. I tell you I have an opportunity to work in Vegas. You walk away. Next thing you do, you find yourself in her presence. You feel better with her, don't you?"

"Please, let's not have this discussion. Why don't we just…," he ending in whispering because he engaged his mouth with kissing her neck. She smiled; she liked it, but it had to stop. He was only trying to change the topic. She gently pushed him away, to what he reacted by escaping with his eyes.

"Look at me," she ordered him. "Can you honestly say that you are indifferent about her?"

He sighed. He so didn't want to have this conversation. He had it with Renee, then with Seth. It wore him out. He needed a break, a real escape. His body fell on the bed, his eyes got closed. His girlfriend followed his lead and lay down next to him. When he opened his eyes again, he saw her gentle smile, light blue eyes and that understanding in them. She didn't mean to judge him or make him feel nervous, guilty, or even intimidated by her potential anger.

"You don't have to speak, just listen," she thought that attitude would make it easier and more comfortable for him. "Firstly, I want you to know that I'm not mad. I'm not even jealous, to be honest. I know you like her. And, maybe subconsciously, you view her more than a friend. I'm not saying you love her, I'm saying that you care a lot about her, and she clearly is the object of your desires. Now I don't know how she feels about you, but I am pretty confident about your feelings."

"Then you know more than I do," Dean unexpectedly joined the conversation.

"What would you do if she had feelings for you, too?"

That question amused him and annoyed him at the same time. "Firstly, she _has_ feelings for me," he admitted, not thinking whether it was appropriate to say it. "Secondly, could you stop saying _too_? I've never said I had feelings for her."

"I know," she replied. "I did." Then she remembered the first part of Dean's answer. "So she has feelings for you, huh? What's the matter then?" she asked as if it was so simple.

"What's the matter you ask? I'm in a relationship, if you haven't noticed," Dean added ironically. And unlike you, I'm not clear about my _desires_." He refused to take the conversation seriously. According to him, it was a waste of time, which would, once again, lead him nowhere.

Cassie thought for a minute and Dean didn't feel the necessity to fill the silence. Then she happily looked at him, satisfied with herself and with the idea she came up with. She looked cheerful, but that emotion was out of place.

"Why don't we just call it a day?" she suggested nonchalantly.

"What?" he raised from bed in surprise. "Is that what you want?"

She harmonically answered without thinking about it too much, "It's the best thing to do. And, yeah, it's what I want. It's what you want," she changed her tone to emphasize it.

"I've never said that," he opposed quietly.

"You didn't need to. Look, Dean," she continued in her explanation, "we had a good a run, but as long as you are not fully committed to this relationship, we're stuck, or even sinking. I'm not blaming you," she reminded him. "I know it's difficult when we can't spend much time together, but even if I were to move to Vegas, it wouldn't help much. And Renee… she's your coworker, you have known her longer and there are not thousands of miles separating you. That relationship has potential, our doesn't. But as I said, we have been together only for something over a month, we cannot actually be angry that it didn't work out."

"But what went wrong?" His question sounded as if he was trying to save the relationship.

"Nothing. Everything had been great. I'm just making it easier for you."

"Are you giving up on us?" he tried to understand.

"No, sweety," she said with a smile on her face. Then she stroked his cheek and softly kissed him, knowing it was the last time. "I'm just making this decision for you, because you seem unable to choose."

Dean shook his head to show disagreement. "I can make my own decisions."

"Maybe, but you're too fucking slow. So I'm withdrawing from the battle. And trust me it's a good thing," she wanted to persuade him.

"This is not gonna work. I'm not even sure I want Renee that way," he expressed his doubts.

"You think about it too much. Don't think, just act."

"What do you mean?" he was confused.

"How can you know that you like chocolate ice cream when you never try it?"

"Are you suggesting that…?" he still wasn't totally clear about it.

"Go for it," she concluded.

"You are amazing, you know that?" he said when he realized what she has been doing for him.

She laughed, and then she gave him one final piece of advice, "Never tell Renee you said that."


	30. Chapter 30

**I've noticed I often start with apologizing that it took me so long to upload. I don't like when people write it, so I'm not going to write it either. But I want you to know that I was away; it's not like I stopped writing the story (like the others). Hopefully, I'll upload next chapter in a day or two.**

**! The set of this chapter is after this week's Main Event. If you haven't seen it (Watch it. It was amazing.), you might get confused. Basically, after the match Dean Ambrose had problems with the promo. He seemed to be injured. It might have been a work, because he did the Smackdown taping, but I believe he wasn't totally all right. Why would he say to Roman and Seth "I can't do the promo, you do it."? Either way, I respect him for his performance during and after the match.**

**Enjoy! **

* * *

><p>Dean seemed not to hurry. Cassie set him free long ago, but he was still single. He hasn't talked to Renee, and in her opinion she shouldn't be the one to start the discussion. In reality, he knew what he was supposed to do and he wanted to do it, too, but he thought it was necessary to plan every single detail first so that it would be perfect. The problem was there was always something that could have been improved, or at least he believed so. It didn't really need to be perfect, it just needed to happen. Dean, though, seemed to appreciate every distraction and any excuse to postpone the talk. There were important matches he had to prepare for and then there was WrestleMania and post-WrestleMania Raw. He wouldn't admit it, but he was terrified. These were the kind of situations he wasn't comfortable with. It felt serious and difficult. It was taking his freedom away from him. He wanted it to happen but at the same time his brain was telling him life would be easier without getting into relationship with his colleague and friend. It was as if he forgot about everything Cassie told him. He was hesitant again and all those explanations she gave him faded away.<p>

"Dean?" he heard a soft female voice calling his name. He turned to see Renee with a caring, understanding look on her face, and he knew she meant no harm and that she came there as a friend, but he couldn't be in her presence. He preferred being alone. It was easy to imagine what she wanted to say. She was worried, of course. She had been right there next to him, interviewing The Shield, when he failed to hide the pain that the injury from the match was causing him. Everything went smooth until the match was over. But he didn't want to think about it anymore. That shameful memory had to get out of his head once and for all. That was why he couldn't face Renee. That was why he simply walked past her without a single glance. He didn't care to close the door or see what was going on her mind when it seemed like he was ignoring her, when, in fact, he was ignoring what happened after their match with The Wyatt Family.

It didn't take long for him to realize how wrong and cowardly that behavior was of him. He was ashamed of himself. The whole day seemed like a disaster, in his eyes. When he woke up in the morning, he wouldn't even think that something could go wrong. Yet, there were too many things that did. And he tried to forget, but although he could pretend the not-well-handled promo did not happen or it was a work, he certainly couldn't hope Renee would forget how he ignored her afterwards, while she did nothing wrong. And the worst part was it ruined his plans to go and see what happens with Renee. First, he waited too long, and second, he must have unintentionally convinced her that he was not a guy she wanted to be with.

His heart was beating fast. His brain was occupied with trying to find a way that would help him save what could be saved. It wasn't over yet. He had to be able to work out a way to ask Renee out or something. He knew he wanted to. But it was late. Nothing simple would work. Because he waited for so long, and acted the way he did, he felt a grandiose gesture was necessary. If only he could think of something. He was never good at this. He tried to remember how he got together with Cassie, hoping that memory would help him analyze what it was that made her interested in him. How come that such a nice girl started dating him in the first place? If he could understand how the transition from one-night stand to relationship was made, then he should also be able to make the transition from friendship to romantic relationship. He still wasn't quite sure what he expected from crossing the friendship line with Renee but he was curious to find out. Unfortunately, he had only one chance, so he better be careful not to screw up. It was way too easy for him to do so; that was why people often advised him to think things through and avoid being too spontaneous.

That was the usual advice. But Cassie told him the opposite. That made him wonder. Should he listen to her or to people who have known him for much longer? To be honest, he never liked the process of planning or deciding. He would prefer to skip that part and jump into the scary but exciting talk with Renee. Actually, that's not what Cassie said. He was great at talking, there was no doubt about it, but it probably wasn't necessary. Carrie advised him to take action, and that sounded like a good idea.

The issue was that Renee was probably mad at him. He didn't mean to hurt her; he only wanted to protect himself from the annoying discussion and questions like "Are you okay?". He was all right now. There was no need for pity. He got hurt, that happens. But he didn't need to get reminded of that. This explanation made sense to him; he wasn't sure Renee would understand, too. More importantly, he didn't want to explain it to her. There were things he wanted to talk to her about; this was not one of them.

In the end, he took Cassie's advice. When he was walking down the hallway, though, he lost control over his brain and an idea popped in his mind if she wasn't selfish and didn't give him that advice just because she thought it would end badly for him. He stopped and wondered. Could that be the case? Was she playing vicious games with him? But then again, what would be the point? She was the one to break up with him. She told him to go after Renee. She let him go. If she wanted to keep him as her boyfriend, this didn't seem like the best way to go. And since they hadn't been together for long and never had any real arguments, revenge couldn't be a legitimate reason behind her advice. The only explanation that made perfect sense was that she, indeed, was a nice girl who didn't mean to harm him and chose to step away in order to let him reach for his true happiness. Dean smiled when he remembered her and what she had done for him. If it wasn't for her, he probably wouldn't be able to face his emotions and feelings for Renee that certainly existed, in one form or another. He wouldn't even be ready for a relationship. Just a couple of months ago, he was scared of having a real girlfriend. He refused to become "we". Now he was about to find out if he could imagine Renee as a part of his life. One thing was sure; if he could imagine that, he was ready to take a next step and make it happen. And maybe it would change his life forever.

With that in mind, with confidence and excitement, he knocked on her door. He looked down at his black shoes and noticed how steady his feet were. He adjusted the vest, and although it might have seemed strange, he didn't regret his decision to wear his ring gear. Then he put the hoodie on and smiled, ready to face the reality and see what happens. He chose to go with spontaneity. And with that attitude, it all made sense. Even the mask. He might have come there looking like a "hound of Justice", but he left the gimmick behind, and there was real him underneath the camouflage.

She opened the door and couldn't hide the surprise. She had plenty of questions on her mind. Yet, she didn't say a word. Dean didn't mind. Talking didn't come as something spontaneous to him anyway. He smiled, but she couldn't see. All that was unveiled to her were his eyes and his muscular arms. Finally, he took the mask off and threw it away. The same hand that was holding the mask before moved on Renee's neck. Then he kissed her.


	31. Chapter 31

The kiss took Renee by surprise. But that didn't mean she minded that Dean took the initiative. In fact, she liked it. And Dean seemed to be enjoying it as well. Suddenly, the gentle kiss was getting more intense. "Do you wanna go inside?" Renee mumbled after a while, as it was difficult to talk when Dean was pressing his lips against hers and wouldn't even let her get some air into her lungs.

"Mhm," Dean responded sufficiently enough. He didn't focus on the surroundings, and an idea of somebody walking by and seeing them didn't cross his mind at all. But privacy was welcomed. And it was certainly more comfortable inside, too. Dean used the strength of his body to tenderly push Renee's and easily moved both of them inside the room. While keeping his left hand on the side of her neck, he used his right hand to shut the door but didn't pay much attention to it; Renee was all he was focusing on. And he was slowly drowning in the kiss. That sensation surprised him. His actions surprised him, too. He did not think about anything, he really just went for it. And it felt good, even right. It wasn't forced or tedious. He was far from getting bored; he could imagine that kiss go on forever. In fact, he found it difficult to stop. But the end of that passionate first kiss would come sooner that he wished.

"Wait," Renee finally succeeded in stopping him and tried to think about what was going on. "Is it over with Cassie?" she asked a question that troubled her the most. She had a lot of questions in her mind, and she certainly needed some answers before submitting to Dean.

"Mhm," Dean said again while trying to reconnect with her lips. He, unlike Renee, didn't think that an explanation was necessary. The background information was secondary. He knew what he wanted and he decided to try and see where his spontaneous actions get him. That was what interested him. But he realized that Renee would not let him take control over her that easily. She didn't want him to kiss her lips, but, fortunately for him, there were other places on her body where he could move his hungry lips. As she was waiting for an answer longer and more complex than "mhm," he occupied his lips with kissing Renee's neck. At first, she pretended to be trying to pull him away, but he quickly noticed how much she liked it and that although she didn't want him to continue to avoid giving her an answer, she couldn't help herself but let him do whatever he liked. And both of them knew she would like it, too.

"Dean . . ." Renee pleaded, smilingly.

He finally surrendered and stopped taking advantage of his charm. His right hand ran through Renee's hair, while his nose soaked as much of her scent as it could. He has never noticed before how amazing she smelled. What was that fragrance? Or was there any at all? He has never thought about it before but could she just smell naturally good to him? He lost his focus. As soon as the reality took shape again, he stepped back and lovingly looked at her. "What is it, my dear, that you want to know?" he asked with a voice that was getting her on her knees. Then he took her hand and placed it between his palms.

She couldn't stop smiling; she was too happy. Every attempt to look serious failed. Not that she tried really hard; but she knew that even if she did, she wouldn't manage to erase the smile that emerged with the sight of Dean. "Can you tell me what's going on?" she asked.

"I don't know," he admitted, looking a little confused, but that emotion quickly disappeared from his face. "But I like it," he whispered into her ear, what made Renee blush immediately. She was almost sure that was his intention. She believed that he wanted to make her look weak, and for that matter, make her weak. A simple syllable pronounced with his deep, sexy voice had that effect on her. Actually, he didn't even need to speak at all. Just his presence was hard enough to deal with. She was easily losing her confidence and the assurance of what was right. When he was beside her, everything depended on him. He was the center of everything. Renee was almost sure that she didn't feel this way a couple of weeks ago. Her feelings for him must have increased significantly lately. Earlier, she would be able to make her own decisions; now she was totally lost and ready to surrender to him.

"Uhm," Dean interrupted her thinking. "Any other questions?" Dean's voice sounded calm. He was handling the situation much better than Renee who was totally under his spell, losing control over herself. No, that control was long gone. The effect that everything that Dean said or did had on her was overwhelming. How did that happen? When did a little crush on him changed into a massive desire to be his? It was not so long ago that she despised the women that went to bed with him; now she was willing to, no, she wished to, become one of them.

She did her best to pull herself together and say, "Yes. Where do you see this going?" In an instance, she realized that wasn't the kind of question she was supposed to ask, but it was out there and she had to hope he would understand that she didn't mean to put any kind of pressure on him.

Dean laughed, and at first wanted to hide the guilt in his eyes by looking away but he changed his mind. He, therefore, continued with his seduction, whether it was intentional or not. "I have a rough idea," he uttered. "But you don't wanna know," he added a not-so-well-hidden message.

"That's not what I meant," Renee pretended not to understand, or not to care about the real meaning of that sentence. Fortunately, Dean chose to ignore the hint he had given her and go back to her question.

"I don't know," he decided to be honest with her. "Let's say tonight I'm on an exploration spree."

"So," Renee had another question in mind, but she was interrupted by Dean.

"Shh." He placed a finger on her lips. He had no answers he could give her. And honestly, even if he had something to say, he didn't want to talk anyway. Of course, a serious conversation would come at some point, he was well aware of that; he just didn't think this was the right time. As he said, he wanted to explore. He wanted to find out what he really felt. And he didn't want to use his brain as a means of finding out.

"Let me set the ground rules," Dean spoke quietly and slowly enough for her to understand. "There will be no more questions; there will be no talking at all, as a matter of fact. We're not gonna think about this and try to figure out whether it's good or bad."

Renee opened her mouth to say something, but Dean quickly noticed her attempt and prevented her from protesting.

"Don't interrupt me, darling," he told her playfully. "One last thing," he returned to his "rules," "don't even think about feeling guilty. Remember, we're both adults and we're both single; we can do whatever we want." With that, he finished his little speech and went back to kissing. He knew that she was confused and his "explanation" didn't suffice for her, but even she realized that it was all she could get from him. He made himself clear, and she didn't want to question his authority. Both of them knew that he was the one in charge.


	32. Chapter 32

Renee appreciated Dean's initiative, but her mind kept thinking about what it all meant. Moreover, even though she really liked getting intimate with the person she cared so much about, an unknown feeling was building up. Feeling that would prevent her from enjoying the moment for which she waited so long. It was strange. She knew being there with Dean was what she wanted. She had her thoughts sorted out. Why was she freaking out then? She didn't let anything show, so Dean had no idea. Her heart was beating fast, but that was understandable; so was Dean's. There was another reason for her fast-beating heart, though; she was getting scared. She was losing the confidence that the situation was right. Dean told her not to think about it and forget about rightness or wrongness of what they were doing. In fact, there was really no doubt that there could be anything morally wrong with the situation. As Dean emphasized, they were both single. But what bothered her, what she believed the issue was, was that they were friends. At the moment, that friendship was secondary, if not tertiary. It was disappearing. Renee knew that would happen, but she didn't want to jump to "lovers" part. She wanted their relationship to develop naturally. Dean didn't tell her what his intentions were; but for what she has seen so far, he wouldn't mind getting in bed with her right away. She would mind. Eventually, she wanted it to happen, just not yet. It seemed too soon. Only few minutes ago, she didn't even know that Dean would stop by and kiss her, just like that. It was great, but she didn't see it coming. Now she kind of saw what was coming; unfortunately, she didn't think she was ready to do it.

Dean kept holding her close. Unlike Renee's mind, his was shut. He fully focused on his bodily desires and needs, and he meant to satisfy them. He noticed Renee's eyes were closed most of the time. He believed that it was a good sign. Her body seemed a little tensed, but he didn't give it any importance. Everything was all right, according to him. He kissed her, she responded. He moved his hand on her ass, she let him. Only when he decided to take his vest off, she stepped back.

"I'm gonna take a shower," she told him, trying to sound casually.

"Shall I join you?" Dean dared to ask, mainly as a joke, but if she said yes, he would be pleased to do so.

Renee's look gave him an answer. But he didn't consider his bold question an issue. He felt it was going well with her, so he could try his luck.

"I'll wait here," he added to assure her that he wouldn't force himself in.

Renee looked around to find some clean underwear she could wear afterwards. She remembered she left her nightwear underneath the bed sheet so she took it out, and headed for the bathroom. After three or four steps, though, she stopped and looked back at Dean, who was sitting in the armchair, making himself comfortable. He watched her as she gathered her things and walked away. He gave himself permission to think again, and came to conclusion that he was really glad he decided to break things off with Cassie, or that was how he allowed himself to remember it, and come to Renee, the person to whom he was gradually more and more attracted. He could really see this going somewhere. He hasn't had much time to think about it yet. Or, actually, there was enough time, he just wasn't in mood to give it some serious thinking. But even without that, now that he saw Renee, and he definitely saw her in a new light, he realized he wanted her to become part of his life. He was ready to move on from Cassie, with whom he hadn't been for long anyway, and start another chapter, this time with Renee. When he thought about her, he couldn't come up with a single thing that he didn't like about her, or a reason why he shouldn't want to be with her. She seemed perfect. He knew that she probably wasn't, but his mind idealized her and highlighted her virtues. At the moment, he viewed her as the queen of his dreams.

"Actually," Renee spoke and immediately caught his attention. "I think you should go."

He didn't understand. Why would she want him gone? Did he do something wrong? He certainly wasn't aware of screwing up. He was careful not to mess up this time. Of course, he did not plan ahead, but he believed that it would work in his favor. Now she wanted him to leave. Just like that.

Dean stood up and walked toward her. She was unintentionally moving away from him in attempt to create distance. He noticed that she was stepping back, so he stopped walking and let there be few feet between them. "Is it the vest?" He asked when he remembered her reaction to him taking it off.

"No," she responded and shook her head to reinforce her statement.

"Then?" He spread his arms in confusion.

Renee failed to give him an explanation of her behavior. She didn't really want him to leave, yet she said those words. She wished he would understand, but not even herself knew why she was asking him go away. His presence was what she longed for. It made no sense. She has been waiting for so long for this, and now, when he is standing in front of her, willing to take her in his arms and make her his, she chooses to be alone instead.

"Just go." The words were coming out of her mouth without her wanting them to come true. She ordered her arms to reach for him and her lips to connect with his, but there was zero obedience. Her actions confused her. Her emotions were out of place. She was supposed to be happy that he was finally there. Instead, she felt confused, absent, and scared. She was scared of it moving too fast. Why was he so calm? Why did he seem ready? He was supposed to be freaked out, not her. Virtually, she has been longer in this relationship. He found out about her feelings only recently. At first, he seemed confused and indecisive, unable to say what he felt for her. Now, his actions were confident. There was no doubt he knew what he wanted. Their roles were reversed. She was back at the beginning. Except, her feelings were not secret anymore. She exposed herself to him. There was no going back, and that was what terrified her the most. It felt too real. It was happening. While she has been only dreaming about being with him, he took action.

"Okay," Dean said after a while of considering what would be the best thing to do. He still did not understand what was going on, but if she needed to figure out what she wanted, he would grant her some time. It seemed strange that she was the one to back off, but he accepted it without further questions.

He didn't look at her again. He obediently left. She couldn't say if he was pissed off or not, but he had every right to be angry. She certainly was. Why would she let him go? Was she willing to take the risk of him not coming back? She wondered if fear, for which there was no reason, could really drive her to pushing him away. This might have been the only chance for her to be with him. He might not want to return after witnessing her moodiness. In an instance, she turned from a submissive, but confident woman to emotionally unstable one. She hated herself. She hated herself so much for making him leave. She wanted him. Her body disagreed with her decision, and her sane self refused to listen to the mixed signals her brain was giving her. She wanted to listen to her heart only.

All of the things that she was holding in her hands fell on the floor. Renee quickly moved toward the door, opened it in a hurry, and ran outside. She ran through the corridor and around the corner, but he was gone. She was left alone because of her stupid, thoughtless actions. There was no reason to stand there. She could follow him into his room, but it was too late anyway. And at the moment she was unable to explain him why she wouldn't let him seduce her. Therefore, she returned back. In front of her room, there was his mask. He must have forgotten he left it there. She picked it up and squeezed it in her hand. But she didn't take it inside. She placed it on the exact same spot where she found it and left it there.


	33. Chapter 33

That night, Seth returned to his hotel room, which he shared with Dean, quite late. He spent a couple of hours watching college football with Roman. It was something they often did, but Dean rarely joined them. He wasn't that keen on it. He also didn't spend his youth playing football like Roman. Moreover, he had better things to do. He hoped to spend the night, or at least some part of it, with Renee. That plan fell apart, tough.

When Seth entered the room, he found Dean inside, moving from side to side. Seth saw that he was on the phone. "Really? We didn't?" he was saying, but Seth knew too little to understand what the conversation was about. Dean didn't notice immediately that his roommate came back and he no longer had the privacy that he considered necessary for the call. "I guess you have a point." Dean kept talking. He was not facing Seth and he seemed pretty focused on the discussion; therefore he still believed he was there alone. Only when Seth purposely coughed, Dean went quiet and turned around to see the ninja. "I've gotta go," he quickly wanted to end the call. "But thanks. . . . Yeah, I'll let you know," he finished.

"Hey, buddy," Dean tried to play it casual.

"What are you doing here?" Seth surprised him with his question.

Dean was pretty tired. To such an irrational question, Dean would normally offer some sarcastic comment, but this time he didn't feel like joking. He would appreciate if Seth made it clear what he meant, so he gave him chance to explain himself. But honestly, he didn't expect to get an explanation. He kind of got used to people saying or doing something and then not explaining why. He was in that situation earlier that night. So when Seth didn't seem to be about to make a point, Dean just took off his clothes and lied down on the bed.

Meanwhile, Seth kept standing on the same spot. He hasn't moved. He was too busy trying to figure out what was going on. Absent look on his face expressed his confusion. It didn't make sense to him. "Why are you here?" he asked again.

"Because I live here, idiot," Dean responded briefly, and then went on to pretend he was sleeping. "Goodnight," he said quietly first and turned his nightstand lamp off.

Seth walked toward his own bed, which was right next to Dean's, and sat down, looking consistently on Dean. He turned the lamp back on, which didn't please Dean.

"It's late," Dean murmured in his deep voice. "Either say what you want from me, or let me sleep," he informed Seth about his options. In fact, only one option was acceptable, but he made it look like he gave Seth a choice.

"I found this," Seth started explaining and took a Shield mask out of his pocket.

Dean, lying on his belly, turned his head to the right and opened one eye. His brain refused to comprehend. "I didn't know you lost it," Dean spoke to the pillow, but somehow Seth understood him anyway.

"This is not mine." Seth's voice got louder. He wanted Dean to pay attention to him, but he wasn't willing to.

"Mhm," Dean recognized what he was saying, but he didn't even try to pretend to be concerned.

"Is it yours?" Seth asked suspiciously.

"No," Dean responded after a few seconds of silence, in which he basically forgot Seth's question. He just wanted to have a break, get some sleep, so that he could wake up without circles under his eyes. Both of them needed to wake up early, so it was also in Seth's best interest to skip the boring talk and enjoy the soft bed instead.

"I found it in front of Renee's room." Seth finally gave him some information that interested him. Although Seth hoped for a more appropriate reaction, Dean at least actually started to pay attention. Not much, but it was an improvement.

"Thanks, man," Dean said and basically admitted it was his, indeed. Then he grabbed the mask and put it under the pillow. He didn't want to make a big deal out of it, unlike Seth who wanted to hear every detail.

"So will you finally tell me why you are here and not there with her?" he demanded.

"Nah." Dean turned his head to the other side in hope to make Seth realize he didn't want to talk, but Seth would not give up that easily.

He accepted that Dean was trying to make his stop caring, but that wouldn't make him shut up. He kept asking. "What happened?" He automatically assumed that something important took place in that room. It was undeniable that Dean was with Renee that night. But why was his mask outside? When Seth found it, when he was walking by and spotted it lying on the floor, he believed that Dean was inside. That was why he didn't bother knocking; he wanted to give them some privacy and ask the following morning. But when he walked inside his and Dean's hotel room, he was surprised to see Dean. He certainly didn't expect him to be there.

But what did he know? He had plenty of questions on his mind that needed to be answered. Otherwise, he wouldn't be calm enough to fall asleep. He was ready to bother Dean all night, until he reveals to him what happened that night between him and Renee. He would even splash cold water over Dean just to wake him up, if that was what it took to get the answers. "Did you two sleep together?" Seth asked carefully. There was no response, though. A long silence followed. Then Seth came to a sudden realization. "Wait . . . Are you still with Cassie?" The last time he talked to Dean about this stuff, he was still dating her. That was a while ago, but he had no new information. He had nothing to build his assumptions on. "I hope you didn't cheat on her."

The fact that Seth was still talking really annoyed Dean. He was seriously trying to fall asleep, but with Seth in his detective mood it was impossible. For a moment, he wished he was sharing room with Roman instead. Roman wouldn't bother him so much, that was for sure. But the fact was Seth was the one he was sharing the room with. There was nothing that could be done about it at the moment. Dean had to find a way to make him shut up. He tried to ignore him, but that didn't seem to help. Therefore, in an attempt to get rid of him, he turned around one more time, looked at Seth and clearly stated, "No, we broke up. Now go to sleep."

"Did you sleep with Renee?" Seth asked again, this time more insistently.

"Jesus, Seth," Dean exclaimed. "Just let it go," he begged.

"Are you two together?" he ignored his wishes completely.

"No," Dean said quietly. "It's not that simple." Dean's confused and worryingly-sounded tone seemed to finally have made Seth stop posing questions which Dean didn't mean to answer anyway. Seth was curious, now even more, but he correctly assumed that the conversation was evidently leading nowhere; thus it was pointless. Moreover, he started to think that it didn't go very well with Renee. His good mood left him. He went to bed, but before closing his eyes, he had one more question to ask.

"Are you okay?" Of course, the typical answer would be yeah, sure, or something like that, no matter how the person really felt. In this case, Seth hoped for an actual answer. If something went wrong, indeed, he was there for Dean. He was there for Renee as well. If they needed his help, he would do anything he could. If Dean wanted to have an actual conversation about the problems, which seemed to exist, Seth didn't care it was almost 3 a.m., he was there for his friend, 24/7.

"I actually am," Dean said. He seemed to really mean it. It was a little strange considering the situation he found himself in, but he really seemed to be full of hope. "Now go to sleep, or I swear to God I'm never sharing a room with you again."


	34. Chapter 34

When Seth woke up, Dean wasn't there. He went hunting. Of course, he didn't go on an actual hunt. But he had something of that kind in mind. After he woke up and took a shower, he had this rare moment when he did not know what to wear. He never really care much about what he was wearing, but now it seemed kind of important, so he wanted to give it a little more thought. He put on his jeans, but then wondered if a simple, plain T-shirt wouldn't be too casual. Maybe a formal shirt would better for the occasion. He searched for one, but soon realized that he didn't bring any. He actually didn't have many of those at home, either. So, ultimately, he was left with few choices. The problem was all the shirts looked same in his eyes. Finally, he based his decision on a simple logic, and went with the cleanest one. Then, being careful not to wake Seth up, he quietly opened the door and went toward the staircase. Three minutes later, he found himself standing in front of a well-known room. He knocked.

He wasn't nervous. Just as the night before, he felt ready. He was confident. What differed was that this time he had a plan. And the plan would secure that the situation from the last night would not repeat itself. It wasn't that he believed he screwed up last night and needed to make up. But, on the other hand, neither did he blame Renee. What happened, happened. Yet he wondered what she was thinking about last night. He was quite curious about her reaction when she sees him. Will she start by apologizing for her "inappropriate behavior?" Or will she put the blame on him? Actually, it didn't really matter to him. The last night, and all that happened, was over. It was a new day, and, as someone would say, a new beginning. It may have sounded like a cliché, but Dean honestly viewed it that way. He wanted to put everything behind, and take a different approach.

Soon enough, she opened the door. She seemed to have been awake for quite some time. She was dressed up, wearing a summer dress with flower pattern. She has already done her hair and make-up, too. But her appearance wasn't the most important thing to him at the moment. His primary concern was how she would react. It pleased him to see that the reaction on her face when she saw him was better than he expected. There was evident joy. She was smiling even before he started speaking. There was much enthusiasm. She seemed so different from yesterday. The last time he saw her, she expressed the darkness of the night. She was serious and tensed; there was a lot of effort put into controlling herself. Now, with the morning, came her good mood. This was Renee who shone brighter than the sun, and who could brighten up his day even without trying. It was as if there was an aura spreading around her, and sending warm and calming rays his way.

He wanted to compliment her, but he decided not to. Maybe it would be okay, it certainly wouldn't be inappropriate, but he needed to keep his distance. He had to stick with the plan this time. But in the end, he couldn't help himself and say at least, "Good morning, sunshine." That was not exactly what he was meant to say, but what the hell. He was the one who set the rules for himself; therefore he had every right to break them.

She laughed. Then her smile went a little sour as she remembered the scene from last night. She was ashamed of herself. She should have been able to handle the situation better. After all, Dean did everything she wanted him to. For few minutes, it went great. Then she lost the control over herself and got irrational. She didn't long for bringing up her last night's failure, but, according to her, an apology was necessary. "I am . . ."

Dean interrupted her, predicting how that sentence would go. "It doesn't matter. Let's forget about it, okay?" It was a kind offer, although not the ideal one. From all the things that happened last night, there were also those they wanted to remember. There was nothing wrong with a little romance. They both liked it, and they couldn't forget it even if they tried. But for the purposes of moving on, they needed to take the situation from last night as a whole, and, in that case, it was better to leave everything behind than attempting to analyze the problem. Renee certainly wouldn't feel comfortable having to explain why she wanted him to leave. Dean was actually doing her a big favor when he suggested pretending it never happened. The best solution was to accept it didn't work out, but remember that it doesn't necessarily mean it never will.

"I am so . . ." Renee tried again, but didn't get to finish the sentence.

"Nuh-uh."

"But . . ." she tried one more time.

"Did not happen," Dean emphasized.

"Fine," she finally gave in. "It did not happen," she agreed with him, but added hastily, "But I'm sorry." The effortlessness with which she put it made them both smile. Renee could clearly see there was no reason for her to feel guilty. Dean didn't seem to want to put the blame on her, although she saw it as completely her fault. He was not mad, either. She was thankful for his attitude, although it surprised her a little. But she wouldn't demand that he tells her why he decided not to ask why she acted so strangely before. After all, it worked in her favor.

"Do you wanna go inside?" Renee changed the subject. According to her, there was still a slight chance he would return to last night and ask for some explanation. She wanted to prevent that from happening. She knew that he wouldn't necessarily get angry; he seemed to have forgiven her. At least that was how she viewed it. In his eyes, there was nothing to forgive.

"Actually," he responded to her question, "I was wondering if you'd like to grab some coffee."

"Coffee?"

"Or breakfast, or brunch," he gave her more options. "I'm kinda hungry, to be honest," he added casually.

"Hm, all right, sure." Her answer was rather hesitant. She didn't quite know what to think about it. Did he mean to totally forget about the kissing and return to being just friends? She didn't want to overanalyze it, but she needed to be sure what he meant. "We can get some breakfast," she said. Then she carefully added, "I guess there's nothing wrong with hanging out as friends." A justification would be nice, since she had no idea what Dean's intentions were.

"How about a date?" he countered. He tilted his head and added a confident, irresistible smile. He didn't put much effort into asking her out; or at least he made it look that way. In fact, he's been thinking about it all night, but that was something Renee didn't need to know.

"A date?" she repeated and couldn't help smiling as well. A date was definitely more appealing than going out as friends, which would be kind of strange after they had kissed. Dean asking Renee on a date was a pleasant surprise for her; something she didn't expect to happen after she acted like she was no longer interested in him. She was glad it didn't discourage him. It actually seemed more as if it encouraged him, which was strange. It didn't really matter to her what made him do so; she was happy it happened. Her initial confusion and surprise caused by his question was quickly replaced with a smile, which would not go away. Renee didn't have to think twice about her answer. "Sounds lovely," she responded, but Dean already knew she would say yes.


	35. Chapter 35

"I hate this," Renee sighed. Dean just smiled at the thought of her misery. "I can't say if you're lying or not."

"Oh, I'm not lying," he opposed and made it sound like he was hurt by her accusation. He wasn't really. He was enjoying the fact that she was confused.

"Really?! 'Cause it sounds like a total bullshit."

"Well, I'm not saying something actually happened. But when I walked into their room that morning, they were both inside. Sleeping. In the same bed. Next to each other. And I'm not hundred percent sure about this, but they may have been naked."

"That did not happen," Renee said, as she took Dean's hand off her shoulder and sat up to look at him. She tried to read the credibility of the story from his eyes, but it was impossible. He was too good at lying, what made her think for an instance about their possible relationship. It would be easy for him to cheat and pretend he's faithful, wouldn't it? Renee had no reason to think about it now, though. Therefore she returned to the topic. "Did it happen?" she asked suspiciously. She was going back and forth and couldn't make up her mind about the story.

"It did," Dean insisted. "I remember I was standing there for few seconds, confused, disgusted, and wondering what the hell was going on. But as I was thinking about it, my mind got loose and started picturing what might have happened. I was even more disgusted. And I was like argh, I don't really wanna know. I so don't wanna know. I turned around, but I had to look at them one more time. And I saw them spooning. They were fucking spooning! At that point it was all too vivid. And I wondered what if they really were naked. And I felt like throwing up." Dean put a lot of effort into telling the story and making it sound convincing; he paused where necessary, raised his voice to emphasize the particular part, and kept an eye contact with Renee. But he realized that he had to make a mistake somewhere when he saw the change of her face expression. It alerted him. She was no longer confused and she didn't seem angry. Now it was quite the opposite; she was quiet and in harmony with his storytelling. Her smile told a story of its own. She has overcome the strength of his persuasion and seemed to have found out the truth.

"You went too far," she said as she leaned toward him. Then she whispered, "Liar."

But he wouldn't let her take control. He wouldn't give up that easily. He rose from bed to be in the same level as she was and could look her directly in the eye, powerfully, even aggressively. His animal instincts were on the rise, but he was well conscious of the situation. With an evilish smile, he got a hold of both her arms and pushed them so that she would fall onto the bed. He looked down at her and bit his lip. Still putting pressure on her arms, he leaned closer until their bodies were almost touching and questioned her accusation, "Or am I?" But he didn't wait to get an answer, he kept moving closer, having a staring contest with her, but thenshe ruined his attempt to make a move.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. Her face expressed disgust, but she was laughing. She gave him a guilty look.

"What the hell, woman?" Dean joked, but he was quite shocked.

"I just . . . I imagined it," she explained and burst out laughing.

"Ew! What exactly?" he asked although he did not really want to know.

"Not _that_! I don't know. Just them, holding each other in their arms, whispering into each other's ears, leaning for a kiss . . ." she said, and the absent look on her face made it clear she was picturing it again.

"Stop. I don't need to hear it."

"It is your fault anyway. Why would you even make up that kind of story?"

"Hey, I did not make it up," Dean stayed true to his version.

"See, I just don't believe you," Renee wanted to get up, but Dean's hands were quicker to keep her close.

"Maybe that was my intention. Maybe it really happened but I made it look like it didn't on purpose. Maybe," he paused to get her under his spell, "I wanted you to believe I am lying while in fact I was telling the truth, exaggerating, so that even if you witnessed their affection, you would not believe it. Or, I just said it to get that image into you head, confuse you and make you question what actually happened. And, no matter if it's a truth or a lie, I guarantee that next time you see Seth or Roman, you'll be nervous and permanently thinking about what I said. And you'll be tempted to ask them."

"You are so cruel," Renee realized.

"That's why you like me so much," he said courageously.

Renee shook her head and sighed. "I hate you."

"No, you don't," Dean countered. "I'm very lovable." Dean thought he would give kissing another try, but as soon as they heard a card being put in the door, they moved away from each other, as if they were doing something bad.

Seth entered, and Dean and Renee shared a look. They planned to play it casual and make it look like they were just hanging out. But frankly, they didn't care much about what Seth would think that was going on.

"Hey, buddy," Dean addressed him, "we were just talking about you."

"No, we weren't," Renee refused to admit the embarrassing, awkward conversation they had before.

"So what is it this time?" Seth asked. It became a habit for Dean to tell his little stories, mostly concerning Seth, which usually were far from reality. Seth somehow almost always found out about the newest gossip. At first Seth was really angry at Dean, then it changed to annoyance and now he was just indifferent. He realized there was no way to stop Dean from spreading the gossip. For him, Seth learned, it was just fun.

Dean's malicious smile made Seth question his interest. He turned to Renee and asked, "Do I wanna know?"

She immediately responded with a short but sufficient, "No."

"So, anyway, are you telling me that you two have nothing better to do than talk about me? And it doesn't even surprise me that he," he pointed at Dean, "throws dirt at me, but you Renee now joined in?"

"No," she refused the accusation.

"What can I say," Dean took the lead, "we're partners in crime."

"No, we're not," Renee disagreed, but she kind of like that idea. It sounded appealing to her.

"So that's what you two are?" Seth wondered. He already moved on to the next topic.

Renee looked at Dean, as if he was the one to know the answer to that question. Dean wouldn't show a single sign of hesitating but wouldn't answer in the way they wanted him to, either. "We're the Rolleigns shippers," he joked.

"Oh, cut your bullshit, Ambrose," Seth exclaimed.

Listening to the conversation these two were having, Renee returned to wondering about what Dean told her. There was plenty of bullshit, that's obvious, but what if some parts of that story were true? Maybe Dean didn't completely make it up. Damn it, Renee thought, he's such a good manipulator. He can make her believe whatever he wants her to believe. He had a lot of experience in those brainwashing games.

"And don't try to get away from the subject," Seth continued. "I'm pretty sure Renee, too, would like to know how you would define what's between you. Don't you?" he asked her directly.

"Nah, I'm good," she surprised both of them with her answer.

"Come on, people," Seth wouldn't let it go. "Are you in a relationship?"

Dean and Renee looked at each other and then unanimously responded, "No." Seth would expect that answer from Dean, but the fact that Renee said it was strange. And it even sounded as if she was in peace with it. Didn't Renee want to be Dean's girlfriend, after all?

"Are you dating?" Seth posed another question. This time they didn't agree on the answer, though.

Renee went for the energetic "no," just as the last time, but Dean hesitated, then caught Seth's attention by saying, "I think so."

"No, we're not," Renee said assuredly. Seth wondered why would she disagree, and why would she be happy about opposing Dean.

Both Dean and Seth waited for an explanation from Renee. Even Dean seemed a little bummed about her reaction.

"Come on," she said confidently, "we've been on one date. That's not dating."

"Hmm, so if we went on another date, would that meet you requirements for dating?" Dean asked her.

"I guess so."

"All right. I'll pick you up at six."

"Smooth," Seth noted sarcastically.

"That's not how it works," Renee laughed, while Seth observed. He probably should have left, but his curiosity wouldn't let him.

"Really? You may want to reconsider that tonight." Dean's confidence was attractive. Renee couldn't resist it. Although she didn't want to let him dominate her, she couldn't refuse his indirect, or maybe too direct, proposal to go out with him again. She didn't give him a straight answer, though. She just looked at him, shook her head in disbelief, yet both of them knew that the date would happen. But for now she could keep her disapproving attitude. She could pretend to be mad and leave without a word.

When Renee was gone, Seth acknowledged Dean's strategy, "Well-played, Ambrose."


	36. Chapter 36

Few hours into their date, Renee received a text from Dean saying '_Wear something fancy.'_ Well, she thought that she wouldn't wear casual clothes anyway, but the text message made her wonder what Dean had planned for the evening. It had to be something special. She wouldn't need to dress up if they were only going to the movies. Maybe he had a reservation in some luxurious restaurant. Or he would take her to some gala opening. No, Renee realized he wouldn't do that. She was certain that Dean wouldn't waste the precious free time there was between all those shows and traveling to go somewhere they wouldn't enjoy. But Renee was curious about the evening; she couldn't wait to find out what would happen. And for the special occasion she picked the most glamorous dress she had in the closet. It was not too short, it was in a way conservative, so that she could where it no matter where Dean wanted to take her. The dress was purple except for the lace ruffle at the bottom, which was black. The tiny sleeves were just enough to cover her shoulders. It didn't show much cleavage, which she considered a good idea since she didn't know where they would go. Ultimately, she was happy with her decision to wear that dress. Until Dean came.

He checked her out and then shook his head. He didn't quite seem to appreciate her dress choice. "This is not fancy," he argued, "it's boring."

"What?" She looked at her dress. She didn't understand what was wrong with it. According to her, it was perfect. She liked it; and until now she believed she looked good in it, too. But she wanted also Dean to like it, and he certainly wasn't satisfied with this dress. "Should I change?" she asked hesitantly.

Dean didn't give her a direct answer, but he smiled suspiciously, which was a good enough hint for her.

"What exactly is wrong with this dress?" she asked to avoid repeating the mistake.

"It's just," Dean started, but then he realized he couldn't offer her a relevant explanation. "It's not good enough," he finally said.

"Not good enough?" Renee repeated smiling, but decided to let it go. "Can you at least tell me what have you planned for tonight?"

Dean burst into laughing. "It's flattering that you think I have thought this through."

"Okay," Renee said hesitantly. Then there was a short moment of silence, which Dean decided to break when Renee's confusion seemed gradually to turn into worrying.

"Don't worry," Dean comforted her. "I gave it a little thought. I know that I don't have an infinite number of chances to make this right."

Renee sighed with relief. "So can you at least hint me where we're going so that I know what to wear?"

"Sure," Dean responded, but then stayed quiet.

When Renee realized what the matter was, she rephrased her question. "And _will_ you?" she emphasized. "Please," she added.

"Nope."

She chose to accept that answer because she knew it was all she could get. Then she headed for the wardrobe. She looked at all the dresses to see what choices she had. There weren't many and, moreover, some were too similar to the one that Dean had already refused her to wear. Then she noticed a dress she hadn't worn in quite some time, simply because there was no opportunity. She totally forgot she even brought it there. It looked nothing like the previous dress. Of course, it wasn't suitable for a dinner with a president, but if Dean wanted her to wear something formal, he would have accepted her first choice. "Well," Renee spoke, knowing Dean was paying attention to her, even though she wasn't to him, "I'm pretty sure you won't call this dress boring."

"Let me decide that," Dean replied.

She quickly took the dress out of the wardrobe so that Dean wouldn't see it and when she walked toward the bathroom to change, she hid it from him. It took her no more than two minutes to get ready. She checked herself out in the mirror to make sure everything was perfect. Then she did one little correction and changed her lipstick to go with the new dress. When she felt ready, she returned to the room and waited for an approval from Dean.

There was no inappropriate comment, no joke, and no childish behavior on his part. He was amazed. For a minute or so Dean just stood there, stunned. "Wow," he gasped and kept his eyes on her.

"So, is this dress boring?" she asked teasingly.

"No."

"Is it fancy enough?"

"Certainly," he said, trying to hide the smile. "It's . . . ," he wanted to choose the words carefully, "beautiful. You're . . ."

Renee noticed Dean seemed taken out of his natural habitat. He had troubles finding the right words.

"Oh," Renee happily decided to help him out, "and there's more. . . . Or, less," she corrected herself. Then she turned around to show Dean what she meant. It wasn't difficult to notice a special feature of the dress. Renee's back was fully exposed; the dress fabric was only covering her ass and the dress was ending right below it. Moreover, there were silver stones forming ornaments on the skirt and they surely attracted attention. Basically, it was impossible not to check out her ass.

"Isn't it too plunging?" Renee asked provocatively.

"No, it's just enough," Dean said half-joking, half-serious. He was still quite speechless and keeping his distance. Somehow he was unable to make a move; it felt wrong. She was like a statue in a museum, which was not supposed to be touched, only looked at and admired.

"Wait," she said suddenly. He couldn't read what was on her mind, as she approached him. She put her hands around his neck and smiled when she looked him in the eyes and saw that he was confused. Then she took his tie off. "This, no."

"What's wrong with it?" he wondered.

Renee laughed. She found it funny that he thought it was okay for him to wear an orange tie when her dress was light pink. "Nothing," she answered his question. "It's prefect. Right here on the bed." He was still quite confused, but accepted her decision for him not to wear it. "Also," she continued and undid the top two buttons on his shirt. He didn't mind. He just wished there was a button on her dress he could undo. He felt he was coming to senses again and his brain started to work.

He checked her out again and came to a sudden realization. Well, he wasn't sure about it, but its seemed very plausible, even logical, in some way. "You're . . ." he started but stopped immediately. He had a question on his mind, but he realized it would be inappropriate to ask.

"What?"

"Uhm, nothing," he said hoping she wouldn't notice anything, but his smile was too suspicious. Moreover, he wouldn't look away. He stared at the silk fabric of her dress and his mind kept him busy. He wondered if Renee had any idea what he was thinking. He hoped she didn't.

But she was one step ahead of him. She knew very well what was so special about the dress and she was aware of the weapons it helped her bring out. It wasn't only the low-cut back and the tight fabric around her bum. With revealing back there came a disadvantage. Or an advantage, depending on the point of view. Renee knew what Dean wondered. And his assumption was correct. She really wasn't wearing a bra. But she pretended she was clueless about Dean's unfinished thought. That way she helped me out of an uncomfortable situation.

"So," she changed the subject, "shall we go?"

"Absolutely," he tried to focus again. "Just give me a minute," he said and without further explanation went to the bathroom.

Renee gladly waited with a satisfying smile on her face, which wouldn't go away. This time, the situation was fully under her control. Dean had lost the power.


	37. Chapter 37

"You pressed up," Renee told Dean, believing it was a mistake.

"I know," Dean responded casually and waited for the elevator to arrive. The waiting seemed too long, though. "Come with me," he changed the strategy. He looked at Renee who had questions on her mind. But he didn't hesitate.

"Where?"

"You'll see." Dean gently took her hand and guided her toward the staircase. It was so quiet. The hotel wasn't very big but usually it was busier, especially at this time. Now it seemed almost empty. They couldn't hear any voices or any kind of noise in general. They were certainly the only ones on the staircase. But Dean didn't mind the privacy they had been given, and Renee was still puzzled and wondering where he was taking her rather than why there was not a single person around.

For Renee, it felt really strange at first to hold hands with him. So unnatural. Yet comfortable. She soon came to like and enjoy feeling his presence. Both of them were secretly glad their hands didn't get sweaty.

Renee pressed Dean's hand harder as she almost tripped over one step, and he covertly smiled. Yet he was ready to catch her if she was falling. It was his task to make her safe.

"Why are we going up?" Renee wondered.

"Because that's the way to get where we want to go," he responded as if he had actually given her a sufficient answer.

"I don't get it. So we're not going out?"

"In a way," he admitted.

When they finally arrived to the highest floor, Dean opened door for her and then guided her through the rest of the hallway until they reached a door at the far end. He pushed it but nothing happened.

"It says do no enter," Renee read the sign.

"Yeah . . . well, they say whatever bullshit to keep you away," he justified his actions of breaking in, or more like breaking out, as he kept trying to open the door

"And you're not gonna take their advice," Renee assumed.

"Advice?" Dean frowned. "Please. Those bastards just put it there to safeguard themselves in case you get hurt and want to sue them. What that sign really says is 'we warned you, jackass, now go kill yourself, we don't give a shit.'"

"That makes me feel better," Renee said sarcastically.

"There we go," Dean cheerfully announced as he succeeded in opening the door. He knew it had to work if he used enough strength.

Renee walked outside as Dean followed her on the roof. The wind blew Renee's hair straight into Dean's face but he wasn't too irritated. It smelled good. But he didn't enjoy it for long. He moved aside and soon disappeared. Renee didn't notice he wasn't next to her because she had been occupied herself with watching the skyline. The city was loud, there were cars to be heard, but still the atmosphere was somehow calm. It was a little cold but she didn't mind yet, maybe after few minutes. She found the courage to walk to the edge and look down. The height wasn't too overwhelming but she certainly wouldn't want to fall down. She stepped back and turned around to talk to Dean. He was out of her sight.

"Dean?" she called, wondering if he left her there alone.

"Yep," she heard a distant voice. Then she noticed him walking toward her, holding two glasses and a bottle of wine or champagne.

When she realized the rooftop was probably their final destination and there was nobody else to see them, she had to ask, "Why the dress?"

"So it would go with my suit," he joked. Then he poured the drink into the glasses and handed one over to her. "I wanted this evening to be special," he returned to her question. "And I wanted to see whether there's some connection between the dress you choose to wear and me."

"What do you mean?"

"If the effort put into dressing up is proportional to how much you like me."

"Wow. I've never thought you'd think about it that way." She looked at her dress. "Now it just looks silly."

"There are many words to describe this dress or how you look in it, but silly is certainly not one of them. Beautiful, gorgeous, dazzling, stunning, sexy. Yes. Silly? Never."

Renee looked away to hide that she was blushing, but Dean touched her face and pointed it back at him. "You don't need to hide away. That won't make me stop complimenting you anyway. You look wonderful tonight," he said with all seriousness. He didn't realize he was quoting a song by Eric Clapton. It was just something that felt right to say.

"Thank you. You look great, too." Right after she said it, she remembered what he said at the Slammy Awards. She anticipated his taking the chance she had given him, but he didn't. Maybe he didn't notice or he chose to ignore it.

"To tonight," he raised his glass and proposed a short toast.

Renee smiled in agreement. Then she asked again, "So we're really not going anywhere public?"

Dean didn't mind the question. "With that dress?" he emphasized. "I wouldn't let you."

"You wouldn't let me?" she repeated, but not in a way that would make him feel guilty about saying it.

"I have some training but it's easier to protect you when there's no danger around."

"Are you saying that you're not a threat?" Renee was curious to hear the answer.

"My first thought would be no. My second thought is more honest. I can be dangerous. I can be as dangerous as you want me to be. But let's leave it for later," he added nonchalantly.

Noticing Renee was getting goosebumps, Dean took off his jacket and put it over Renee's shoulders. She thanked him. "Why do you girls always do this?" he wondered.

"Do what?"

"Wear light dresses that you know won't keep you warm, and then wait for the guy to offer you his jacket. Wouldn't it be easier to just bring you own?"

Renee didn't expect that kind of question but she was ready to answer. "The way I see it, it's a test. We want to know if the guy is a gentleman, and therefore deserves our time."

"Oh, so I passed the test," he celebrated.

"This one. But there are others," Renee hoped to kill his cheerful mood.

"I'm ready," he responded confidently while looking her in the eyes. Then he took her hand and walked her to the other side of the rooftop where he had something planned. Next to the wall, there was what appeared to be a warm fleece blanket for them to sit on, and then another one for using if they got cold. Several pillows were on the floor, each of different color. He asked her to sit down while she wondered what would happen next. She couldn't see a computer or any screen to watch a movie, so she crossed that option out. Dinner seemed improbable, too. Except for a bottle of red wine, there wasn't much.

When Renee adjusted a few pillows behind her back so that she wouldn't feel coldness of the wall, she took off Dean's jacket and wrapped herself in the blank. As she was getting comfortable, Dean seemed impatient and frequently checked the time.

"Are we waiting for something?" she asked him. Before she could get an answer, she heard something of a massive explosion. She turned to see a firework. "By any chance, you don't have to do anything with it, do you?" she suspected.

"No," he said, "I just happen to know about it." She wasn't sure if she should believe him but she didn't ask.

She let him place his arm behind her back, and then she placed her head on his shoulder. Dean pulled her closer to him. It felt nice to feel warmth coming from her body. Although her back was cold, the rest of her body was sending warm waves his way.

Renee didn't feel the need to think about any kind of schedule of their date. If she really thought about it, she would realize they weren't doing much, but it felt just right. Being with each other, even in silence, sounded good enough to her. She kept watching the firework, unlike Dean who stared at her. He had seen many fireworks before and he knew what stars looked like. Surroundings were not bad but she was more interesting. Renee noticed soon enough that Dean wasn't paying attention to the skies. She looked at him, wondering what was going on his mind. She was tempted to ask at first but it felt unnecessary. Moreover, he wouldn't give her a real answer anyway. So they were just sitting there, their bodies touching, gazing into each other's eyes instead of looking at the stars, and getting lost in the moment. Renee wanted to say something but ended up smiling. He smiled as well. He hadn't done a single mistake, and she decided to reward him with a kiss, she had longed for giving him.


	38. Chapter 38

"Hey! Is anybody here?" They didn't recognize the voice but they could say that the person asking was close. Renee started to panic; she didn't want anybody to see her there. She should have known better than to follow Dean somewhere where it was forbidden to enter. Renee looked around but of course there was nowhere to hide.

Dean sat quietly next to her for another few seconds and observed what she was doing. He was calm. He didn't feel they were in danger. The situation didn't even seem uncomfortable to him. But seeing Renee freaking out was funny. "Just stay here," he ordered her as he stood up. "I got this," he assured her smiling.

Renee hoped Dean would meet the person before he could notice here in there. But for feeling safe, she covered herself up with the blanket and waited, trying to hear what they were talking about. She was able to recognize only few words. She breathed heavily at first but did her best to calm down. That adrenaline rush was slowly disappearing. It made her feel warm; she didn't need the blanket anymore. When she put it aside, she noticed the bottle of wine, which was not open yet. Next to it were two glasses, which came in handy as the other two that they had used before were on the other side of the roof. She opened the bottle and poured the wine into both glasses. She then took a sip and, with the glass in her hand, continued waiting, now more relaxed.

It didn't take long. In a minute or two, Dean returned, in the same good mood that he had when he left. "Done," he acknowledged Renee of the success.

"Just like that?" she wondered. She knew Dean was a smooth talker but she worried he couldn't convince the guard, or whoever it was, to let them stay.

"Yep." He took the glass Renee handed him and joined her in drinking. When he sat down, he looked at her amused. "You're not a very good criminal," he noted.

"Well, I don't have much experience in that area."

"We can work on that," Dean said casually, then changed the topic. "Aren't you cold?" Only now he noticed the blanket lying next to her. His jacket was underneath it so there was a pile building up.

"No," she said at first but immediately she realized the cold was coming back, ready to attack her exposed body. "A little," she changed her response. She looked at the blanket and thought if it would be a good idea to cover up with it again but Dean came up with something different.

As she reached for the blanket, Dean showed her to sit in his lap. She happily accepted his offer and let him wrap his arms around her. There was no problem with her bare back anymore since Dean's chest served as a radiator. But her legs were still cold so Dean grabbed the blanket and put it over Renee. She smiled thankfully and leaned back. She reached for Dean's hands to get them underneath the cloth. Then she secured his arms to be wrapped around her as tightly as possible. Finally she was satisfied with the position they were in, and relaxed.

"This is nice," Renee murmured. She looked up at the stars. "I think I could comfortably sleep here."

"You can," Dean whispered into her ear to what she giggled.

"So you're saying that it'd be completely okay if we ended our date with just falling asleep?"

"Well, it's not what I'm saying, but I'd be fine with holding you in my arms all night. But I'm open to other suggestions," he let her know.

"Dean," she addressed him, adding some importance to her next words. "It's only our second date."

"So you're suggesting that we play it old school?"

"I'm not suggesting anything. I'm only reminding you of the facts."

Dean sighed. "You are so controversial right now. You say no, but do I need to remind you of your dress choice?" Dean tried to make a point. But he didn't sound disappointed. In fact; he didn't even seem surprised by her attitude. As if he was prepared and actually expected her to say something like that.

"It isn't what I was originally going to wear," she countered but it didn't help her win the fight.

"That doesn't matter. Look at the facts. You are here, in my arms, allowing me to feel your skin, resting your head on my shoulder, holding my hand. You know what I see? A girl who's fighting with her inner demons, trying hard to stay a good girl." Dean gave Renee a chance to say something in defense, but she kept quiet. She wasn't alarmed by Dean's accusations. It even seemed that she agreed with him, and if so, she made peace with her situation. "If you wanna keep it clean for now," Dean continued, "it's fine, I accept your decision. But remember, darling, I'm a tough competitor and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to win. And," he whispered, "I will you drag you to the dark side with me." Renee trembled as Dean's deep, seductive voice reached her ear, but she tried to keep her cool. "Oh, and one more thing. I don't play by the rules."

Renee surprised him when she looked at him and there was no sign of intimidation in her eyes. "Let the game begin," she said confidently.

Dean accepted her challenge. He liked her attitude, too. It would be okay if she disagreed or protested. But the fact that she decided to play his game was even more appealing. He was so going to enjoy this, he thought to himself. But his master plan needed to wait a little longer. It was all right, though. It was perfect as it was at the moment. An intimate atmosphere, her closeness, and beautiful night sky above them. He knew he was doing it right and he would be soon rewarded for behaving himself now. So he just sat there for another couple of minutes in silence. It was comfortable and somewhat paralyzing. Her scent was filling his lungs and it was impossible to stop sniffing her hair and her neck. She had to put on some addictive perfume. He realized he was getting addicted to her, too. When she reached for her glass and unconsciously created a gap between their bodies, Dean automatically leaned forward to avoid being separated from her for too long. He kept his arm wrapped around her even when he was using the other one to hold the glass and drink. He wanted to feel the fabric of her dress on his skin. But he also wanted to feel her naked skin. Her naked body. He was craving for it, but he kept waiting. It wouldn't take much longer to get it, he believed.

When Renee's face crossed his sight, when he saw the sparkles in her eyes, and that beautiful smile, he realized how much he adored that woman. He never thought it would be so fulfilling to just be there with her. They didn't need to do anything, they didn't even need to talk or look at each other. The simple presence was enough. He smiled and then he kissed her cheek. On the one hand, the short, innocent kiss was satisfying. On the other hand, it was not enough. He was hungry for more than that.

But he didn't attempt to kiss her lips or any other part of that gorgeous body. He just whispered, casually enough, "It's getting late."

Those simple words, which seemed to have come out of nowhere, sufficed to grab her attention. She looked at him surprised. "What?"

"Maybe we should get going," he suggested.

"What . . . why?" she couldn't understand that sudden change.

"As I said, it's getting late."

"No, it's not," Renee mumbled. The truth was she had no idea what time it was but it seemed to her as if they only arrived there.

"Don't worry, this is not the end." he said with a smile on his face. It didn't calm her, though. "We can do this again." The tone that he was using to tell her that it was it seemed inadequate. How could he be saying it with such carelessness? As if it was no big deal.

"Wait. Is that it?" She was still confused and hoping that Dean was just joking. But it was becoming more apparent that the date was ending. But why? It was too soon. And no way it was late.

"Isn't it enough for now?" Dean asked.

"Um . . ." She didn't know what to say. He surprised her, and she certainly wasn't ready for it to end. "Is it because . . ." she was looking for an explanation, but Dean interrupted her.

"No. It was great. It's just that I might have a thing later."

"What do you mean?" she couldn't believe he would have made other plans for the same night that he asked her out. Who does that? That is so rude and inconsiderate. And why would he even tell her that he had to go somewhere else with who knows whom? Suddenly she felt she didn't want to be anywhere near him. Although she was still quite confused about what was happening, she felt betrayed. Dean could clearly see it, but he seemed to be okay with it. He even looked amused.

"What is so funny?" she asked angrily.

"Your reaction. Are you jealous?"

"No," she lied, and she didn't do it very well. She tried to calm down. "But seriously, do you have other plans for tonight?"

"Maybe." One glance at her assured him his answer wasn't sufficient. "It depends," he added.

"On what?"

"You," he said with all seriousness.

"That's blackmailing." Renee thought she knew exactly what Dean meant by saying it depended on her. She wasn't completely wrong in her assumption, but she was far from being right, too.

Dean just smiled. Looking at this from his perspective was amusing. Her anger wasn't threatening. He fully realized that everything he said made him look like a jerk, but if she knew his part of the story, she would completely change her attitude. At least he hoped so.

"Renee," he called her, and caressed her cheek. He was glad she let him. It seemed that he was going to say more, but instead he started kissing her neck. And then her ears. Soon, though, his lips were connected with hers in a passionate kiss. She seemed to have forgotten about her anger. The truth was, she realized she wasn't really mad at him, she just desperately wanted him to stay. She wrapped her arms around his neck and fully engaged in the kiss, which she was starting to control. She didn't want to let go, but Dean stopped her.

"Why does it seem to me that right now you'd be willing to give up your 'let's not do it on the second date' policy?" he joked.

At that point, she really was. She didn't admit it, but she didn't have to, either. It was clear to both of them. And deep inside, Renee wished Dean would encourage her to give away her moral beliefs and ask her to follow him into his room. Or they could do it on the rooftop. But she couldn't admit those desires. Dean couldn't win that easily. "Goodnight," she said, and it was the hardest thing she had to do.

"Goodnight, Renee." Dean kissed her and offered her to walk her into her room. He was surprisingly calm. He acted like he had everything under his control, but Renee doubted that could be true. She wondered how he could be satisfied with the situation. How could he keep his macho attitude when he didn't get what he wanted. Yet it wouldn't be difficult for him to get everything he desired. He was right before. She wore that dress for a reason. It was an invitation. She said those things of not being it a good idea to seal the deal on their second date, but the truth was that if he made the move, she wouldn't stop him. He had to be aware of that. That was why she couldn't understand his actions. She accepted them, although with difficulty, but deep inside she was disappointed.

What she didn't know was that it was all part of a bigger plan. And even though they called it a date, the night was still young.


	39. Chapter 39

"That's it? He took you to the rooftop, you had some wine, you kissed, and then you went back to your rooms? Seriously?"

"Hey! You weren't there, Seth. It was nice really," Renee said, remembering the last night's events.

"Maybe. That's not what I'm questioning," he corrected her false assumption that he thought it wasn't romantic enough or something. "But he didn't try anything? And, listening to you now, you certainly gave him signals that you were interested in . . ." Seth paused when he realized he wasn't talking to guys and the word "sex" should be omitted.

Renee knew where he was heading, so she replied, "I was surprised, too. We kissed goodnight, and then he walked me into my room. Actually, he didn't even enter."

"That's so not him," Seth wondered out loud.

Renee ignored Seth's comment. "Anyway," she talked as she was pouring the boiling water into the mug with a teabag in it. "I did my best to accept his strange behavior and let go. I closed the door, and that was supposed to be it. I walked toward the window to look outside and, you know, just let the sight of nature crawl into my brain to help me stop thinking about Dean, but it doesn't work when there's another building in front of you and some fat guy, wearing only his boxers, keeps staring at you," Renee dramatized. She took her mug and put it down on the table. She then sat down opposite Seth again.

"So?" Seth tried to keep her talking. He was wondering, was that the end of the story? Was there more?

"I couldn't just let it go and wait for the next time. I was thinking, why wait? The conditions were perfect. And we'd already had the romantic part of the date so we could move to the next step. I knew he wanted it. I knew I wanted it. My brain came with a plan," she remembered. Seth was increasingly curious and the break she decided to take to drink her tea was not acceptable to him.

"What plan?" he demanded to know.

"To take initiative, storm into his room and ask him to continue. Basically." She decided Seth didn't need to know the exhaustive version. She wouldn't feel comfortable telling him the details. "Then I remembered," Renee continued. "There was a quite important obstacle; he had told me he had other plans for the rest of the night."

"Oh," Seth sighed sympathetically.

"Yeah, that was a bummer."

"So it was it after all, wasn't it?" Seth predicted. Renee didn't give a straight answer, but her reaction and the sadness in her eyes was sufficient for him to be able to imagine the unpleasant situation.

"I was really disappointed. At first, I believed it could happen after all. Then, I realized it couldn't. And it wouldn't. I had to ask myself, would the date go differently if I didn't come with the whole "second date" thing?"

"It's pointless asking these kind of questions."

"I know. I realized that, too. So instead, I switched my focus on Dean and his part in the whole date thing. And the disappointment changed into anger again. Why? I asked. Why would he ask me out if he had already made other plans. I was so pissed at him at that moment. Maybe I was overreacting, but I couldn't shake this feeling of betrayal. He virtually just asked me on a date to fill the gap between training and that other thing he had later."

"I know he can be a jerk, but I'm sure he wouldn't do this," Seth was trying to defend his friend. He considered the option that it might be true, but that seemed unrealistic. Seth believed that Dean wouldn't do something so disrespectful to someone he cares about.

"I know," Renee smiled, "but that was how I felt back then. And I was really frustrated by the course of events. That was when I thought of you," Renee admitted and looked at Seth who immediately got alerted. His mixture of confusion and shock was amusing to her. He seriously seemed to have gotten scared by Renee placing him in the story.

"Me?" he asked, sounding a bit terrified.

"Relax. I just needed to talk to somebody and you were the one person that I believed that could understand."

Seth sighed when he learned she only thought of him as a friend, preferably a shoulder to cry on.

"I remember I checked the time to see if it wasn't too late to go find you." She then took a pause to make her point. "It was quarter to ten," she cried. At the moment she wished to add a swearword, but she overcame that urge in order to maintain her appearance of a well-behaved lady. Still, Seth could easily identify her irritation and disillusion. But she calmed down quickly and smiled with ease before she chose to continue with storytelling. "Since it was so early, and I remembered you and Roman were supposed to go to Cesaro's room to watch your matches and analyze them, I was determined to go there and talk to you. I didn't really want to change, although I knew very well that the dress I was wearing wouldn't be appropriate, but I didn't give a damn, really. I put on a coat to hide some distinctive features of my dress," she said without giving Seth any details, "switched the lights off and left."

"You didn't come last night," Seth pointed out the fact they both were aware of.

"I know," Renee admitted.

"So what happened?"

Renee didn't hurry to answer him, although he was desperate to know. She kept teasing him and pretended to be busy doing other things. She was eventually going to tell him, but her plans were interrupted when Dean walked into the room.

Witnessing their affectionate looks and instant and permanent smiles on their faces, Seth was even more puzzled. He had a suspicion, though. The way they were looking at each other could mean only one thing, Seth believed. And the fact that Dean seemed to completely ignore Seth was enough of a hint. One thing was sure. There was more. Dean and Renee had to meet after the end of their date. It was clear that Renee wasn't mad at Dean at all; and if the end of the date was the last time they saw each, she wouldn't be gazing into his eyes with so much love right now. Seth desperately wanted to ask them what happened, but it didn't seem appropriate. And soon they gave him a kind of answer anyway.

Dean had to know Seth was in the room, too, yet he didn't seem to care. Renee was the only object he saw and he walked straight toward her. He was looking at her the whole time, while she sat patiently and waited for him to come over. When he was beside the sofa, he offered Renee his hand, which she took without hesitation, and helped her stand up. Then he secured her closeness by putting his arm around her waist. He put aside her blonde hair from her face to be able to look into her eyes, and, without saying a word, he kissed her.

Seeing this manifestation of affection, Seth gasped. Yet those two didn't seem to be disturbed by his presence or anything that he'd do. He meant to leave them alone, even though there were so many questions on his mind. He realized there would be other time to get the information he longed for. But Seth didn't really hurry to get going.

When Dean and Renee's lips finally parted, Dean whispered something into Renee's ear, but Seth had no chance to hear what he was saying. It had to be something really sweet, though, Seth assumed, because her smile widen and, Seth couldn't really see it, but he would swear that she blushed, too.

Then Dean turned to Seth and, acting as if there was nothing interesting about what had just happened, said, "What's up, Seth?"

"What's up?" Seth repeated. "You tell me." This seemed like the right opportunity to ask what troubled him. "You two," he started hesitantly, while pointing at them with his finger and smiling rather awkwardly, "are you together now?"

As he could have expected, Dean didn't give him an answer. Thus, Seth turned to Renee, who was equally reticent about their affair. Seth considered it pointless; there was no longer a secret to hide. They could have just revealed the whole truth to him. "Dean?" he addressed his teammate. "Renee?" None of them responded. They stood there, beside each other; looking as if they were actually enjoying Seth's desperate effort to find out what was going on. "Guys," he cried. "Did you . . . What happened last night?"


	40. Chapter 40

**Here's what happened . . .**

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><p>She opened the door to go talk to Seth, but Seth was right, she had never arrived. Dean was standing right outside her room. He seemed rather nervous, and it wasn't the pretended nervousness typical for his promos. His feet were permanently on the move. He definitely wasn't as confident as usual. He knew his hands were sweating and his heart was beating fast. This whole sensation was new to him. He had it all planned, he kept reminding himself, there was no reason to worry, it would work out just fine. Yet he failed to make himself believe this supposedly assuring thought. But when he noticed Renee leaving her room, he tried to pull himself together. Dean didn't want her to see that person he had been for the last few minutes. But it was too late; she saw him first, and that made Dean believe that she had to notice that he wasn't himself and that courage left him long time ago.<p>

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Uhm . . ." He breathed heavily at first, but gradually he felt more comfortable and self-assured. And his acting skills helped, too.

"Weren't you supposed to have that 'thing'?" Renee asked ironically when he wouldn't get into talking.

"I said it wasn't certain," he reminded her. As he was regaining his confidence, flirting mode was switching on, and Dean was starting to get use of this powerful weapon called charisma.

"Yeah, you said it depended." She remembered it very well. "On me," she added, making it sound like a joke that wasn't particularly amusing, either.

"It still does."

"Look, Dean." Renee started her offensive. "I don't care where you go. Or with whom. You don't need to tell me; you can do whatever you want. I'm not your girlfriend."

"So what does a one have to do around here to get a girlfriend?"

Renee realized where Dean was heading, but she wouldn't make it that easy for him. She couldn't simply let him get away with that indirect offer, which lacked both seriousness and involvement of either of them. "Ask her, I guess," she answered his question in a visibly cold manner.

They both knew what Dean's intentions were; yet none of them wanted to make it clear. Not with the current somewhat hostile atmosphere. This was entirely caused by Renee. She still felt betrayed by Dean, although her brain was telling her there was something hidden from her that would make her understand. But she kept rejecting that thought. If there was something she was supposed to know, he would tell her. If there wasn't, she was not interested. In fact, she decided she would go with her original plan to go to see Seth. She wasn't sure anymore that she wanted to talk about Dean, now that he was there it seemed kind of irrelevant, but she still wished to be in a presence of somebody who could cheer her up.

Dean quickly saw her attempt to escape. He considered letting her pass him by and ruining his plan unacceptable. With one firm grip he got hold of her arm, and therefore he forced her to stay; at least he made her confront him first. He earned himself maybe few seconds, which would be crucial if he wanted to succeed in what he had planned.

"You're mad at me," he stated the obvious. When she said nothing at all, he decided to be the one to speak. "You have no reason to be." He knew that by saying this he would make her talk. She would consider that sentence a lie, one that cannot be accepted and needed to opposed.

"There is. And not only that; I have a right to be mad, too. I know it's none of my business what you do after our date, yet somehow it is. If you at least had enough respect to tell me beforehand. Or, why did you even asked me out in the first place?" Renee expressed her frustration. She didn't want to tell him all that was going on her mind, but it was difficult to stop once she started. "It's just unfair. It makes me feel like you don't care. Then I remember that you had evidently put a lot of effort into planning the date, and I am confused. What's going on? Am I going crazy for blaming you? Is it just a coincidence that you have two events in one night? Or what the hell, Dean?" she cried. Her voice broke at the end but she soon regained control over her emotions. "I should just let it go. I shouldn't care about your other plans, the ones that don't include me. I promise that from now on I won't." It was hard to believe her. She herself knew she couldn't stop caring.

It was painful for Dean to witness what Renee was going through. He didn't blame her for acting this way; he should have known his actions would result in her misery. That was not what he intended, though. He certainly didn't want to make her sad. Yet on the other hand, this mixture of frustration, anger, blame, pretended carelessness, and even sorrow allowed Dean to see one emotion stronger that the rest. Thanks to Renee's confrontation he now knew how much she actually cared about him. Because she might have been saying one thing, but the truth was somewhere else. She loved him, and she couldn't hide it no matter how much she tried.

"You're jealous." Dean's conclusion wasn't aimed at blaming Renee for her reaction. He smiled to make it clear that he was fine with her being jealous; he even considered it cute.

"I'm not," she denied.

"It's okay. If I were you, I would be too." He got into explaining, "Because that girl I have plans with later tonight, if she's interested," he added, "is the most beautiful girl I know. And she's funny and smart. She makes me feel comfortable. She knows me well and she loves me despite of that. And even when she's angry at me, she's adorable and I'm sure I'd let her scratch my eyes out," he joked. "I know I'd deserve it sometimes. But what I like most about her is that she lets me play all those games."

"What the hell, Dean?" Renee asked and finally there appeared a sign of smile and even amusement on her face, as she started to realize what was really going on.

"This is my way of asking, is it too soon for the third date?"

Renee finally understood what Dean had been doing. Now she saw what his plan was and that it actually did concern her. There was nobody else he had made plans with. He didn't betray her at all. He ended the date soon for a reason, and that being to get another date, in the same night. And Renee quickly became aware of what it all meant and why they couldn't just continue with the date, why there needed to be a partition.

"That's cheating," she pointed to the reason why Dean was making this third date happen.

"I call it a compromise. And anyway, is there any rule forbidding me from asking you out twice in a day?"

"Now I see why were okay with keeping the date clean. You knew you might get lucky later."

"So do you accept my offer?"

Renee tried to keep a poker face, but she failed terribly to hide her excitement. No matter how far from ideal Dean's ways of asking her out were, or how carelessly he played with her emotions, Renee knew she could learn to live with it and even come to like it. As long as the results made her happy, he could keep playing his little games.

And she decided to join in. "I think that considering the events that happened during and after our previous date and the stirrings of emotions, balancing between love and hate, and the one-sided argument that. . ." She wasn't able to finish her philosophical speech because Dean silenced her with a kiss she wasn't expecting.

"I take it as yes," he took a break to say. Then he returned to kissing. Neither he nor Renee wished to stop; they had already lost the control over their will. The magnetism was strong, and they were weak.

Yet suddenly Dean broke off the kiss. "So I was thinking of taking a romantic stroll along the beach, maybe getting a drink in a bar, or we could go dancing," he suggested while Renee was unsuccessfully trying to reconnect with his lips, which wouldn't stop talking.

"Or we could just go inside," she whispered in his ear. Dean definitely preferred that idea and Renee knew it. She opened the door with one hand as she used the other to undo buttons on Dean's shirt. Then she dragged him inside and locked the door. The lights stayed off.


	41. Chapter 41

**FYI: I probably won't upload often in the next two weeks or so because of the exams, but I'll try to post at least 2 or 3 chapters a week. **

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><p>A strange sound woke Seth up. He couldn't identify it. It sounded like a moaning or whining; in a way it reminded him of cat's yowling. But how would a cat get inside his room? At first he thought he heard that sound in his dream but he was certainly awake now and he kept hearing it. Seth opened his eyes in annoyance. He was determined to find out what wouldn't let him sleep.<p>

At the same time, it was raining. Yet the sound of rainfall and of the drops hitting the window was calming. Something that couldn't be said about that other noise. But before Seth could identify the source of it, it stopped. He was going to forget about it and go back to sleep. He turned to the other side and adjusted the pillow underneath his head. He closed his eyes to return to his beautiful, adventurous dream of zombie apocalypse, but the sound more annoying than those before prevented him from falling asleep. This one didn't take long to analyze; Seth's first and correct guess was the nails on the wall. He abruptly turned on the light and sat up to face the cause of his awaking.

"What the fuck is going on?" he shrieked.

He saw Dean on the other bed throwing his limbs around and kicking away the blanket, which soon ended on the floor. Dean didn't reach for it. Ignoring Seth completely, he returned to making annoying sounds; it was clear to Seth that it had been him the whole time. Seth wondered what was wrong. Was Dean in pain? Was something hurting him? Seth was mad at him for being such a pain in the ass, but maybe there was a reason behind his strange behavior, and he didn't actually intend to wake Seth up.

"Are you okay?" Seth worried.

Finally Dean stopped and turned to Seth. He looked at him in silence, then proceeded to pick up the duvet and lay on his back again. Only then he started talking. In a rather whining voice he said, "No. . . . I don't know. . . . It's just . . . I feel . . ." He didn't even seem to attempt at explaining to Seth what was going on. But he sounded more confused that he really was. Dean looked up at the ceiling. The he let out a loud, disturbing scream, which could easily wake the whole floor.

"Are you crazy? Shut up!" Seth ordered him. His demand was understandable since it was middle of the night and he didn't want people to come and knock on their door to be quiet. "It's . . ." He checked the time before continuing, "3 in the morning." He sighed. Now he really was angry. "People want to sleep, I," he emphasized, "want to sleep. So unless you're dying, calm down." He himself tried to calm down because that adrenaline rush caused by Dean's sudden outcry wouldn't allow him to go back to sleep.

Dean appeared to have accepted Seth's demands, but, just to make sure, Seth kept an eye on him for a moment. Then he lay down again and turned off the light. He hoped it to be over. But even he doubted that was the end of it.

First, there was Dean's heel hitting the bed more and more urgently, and then his fist started hitting the wall. "It's gone," Dean complained. "It's like there's this emptiness inside of me." He returned to silence, but not for long. "It's the end of an era." It sounded as if he just realized that.

"It's been three days!" Seth shouted at him when he finally realized what this was all about.

"It was with me all the time. And now it's gone."

"Some of us lost the title half a year ago. It's not a big deal; you'll get over it. You'll get used to it."

"I miss it." He seemingly ignored Seth's remarks. "I miss being a champion. I miss walking around with my belt. Those were good times," he daydreamed.

"Really? You seem to have forgotten about the reality of your reign pretty quickly. And should I remind you your dealing with the belt? How you threw it over the barricade and then left it there for me to land on it?"

"Good times," Dean said again, and Seth wasn't sure if he was even listening to him.

At the moment Dean appeared to be pretty peaceful so Seth advised him, "Now go back to sleep. If you wanna cry more about it, wait 'til morning."

Again, Dean ignored Seth and continued whining, "And how disrespectful it was of Sheamus to throw a party to celebrate his victory." Seth wanted to explain to Dean that he was the one who was being disrespectful and totally ignorant of others right now, but he knew him well enough to know it wouldn't change anything. Dean went on, "And, seriously, how could he expect me to show up? It would be like coming to one's own funeral."

"That's usually not necessary," Seth showed him the absurdity of his comparison.

"But you went there, traitor. How was it?" Finally Dean actually invited Seth to join in the conversation, although Seth would prefer if there was no conversation at all. He was aware of the fact that he had to wake up early, and he wished Dean would realize this too.

"It was okay." He considered that to be sufficient answer as he refused to go into detail and waste more time, which could be better spent sleeping.

"Renee was there too, wasn't she?"

In any other circumstances, Seth would try to benefit from Dean opening this topic and ask about their relationship. They kept hiding the truth away from him, but he didn't mean to give up until they tell what was really going on. Unfortunately, right now he was too tired and his brain wasn't set on thinking about this issue. Seth didn't even answer Dean's question. Nor did he need to; Dean had already made himself a list of all the "traitors" attending the party.

Seth's eyes were closing without him realizing it. He even thought he may have fallen asleep again; such a sweet escape from Dean's talking. But he soon became aware of the irritating reality. And to make things worse Dean grabbed his phone and was about to make a call. A bright light from his phone reflected on the ceiling and Seth could not ignore it. Seth had no idea who was Dean trying to reach on the phone, but at this ungodly hour he would probably not succeed anyway. And if he did, it gave Seth some freedom. He was so tired that it didn't matter to him if there was too much light in the room or that Dean was talking. Moreover, it was still raining outside. None of that was important to Seth. He was sure he would fall asleep anyway.

"Did I wake you up?"

Dean seeming succeeded in his call, and he suddenly changed into a sweet, gentle guy who was far from the annoying one Seth had to deal with just a minute ago. But Seth didn't care anymore. He was determined to get his sleep. Next time, though, he would not tolerate Dean's crazy, unpredictable mood when there is other possibility. If Renee is Dean's girlfriend now, what appears to be true, they could share a room. Seth was coming up with a plan while being only half-awake. It would make things much easier. It would certainly make Seth's life easier. He wouldn't have a problem finding somebody else to live with while travelling, and, more importantly, he wouldn't have to put so much effort into fighting the urge to shout at Dean to get out. Suddenly this new relationship seemed to have brought not only joy to Dean and Renee's lives but to Seth's as well.


	42. Chapter 42

"I could have thought I would find you here," admitted Seth, sounding a little judgmental at first. Then he looked around. "What do we have here?" A wide smile appeared on his face as saliva filled his mouth. "Damn! It all looks so delicious." He quickly noticed the cake section. But meat on the right side of the table attracted him more. Seth reached for the bacon but Dean, chewing a salmon sandwich, slap his hand.

"One of us needs to be able to jump off that apron," Dean said with half-full mouth.

"But," Seth protested, "bacon . . ." he cried. He then looked at the "healthy" possibilities. He grabbed a plate and put some vegetable on it. Why do they even put all that delicious but inappropriate food there, Seth wondered. Is it to remind them of the life they could lead if they weren't athletes? No, Seth realized when he saw Bray actually eating that bacon he craved for. Some people didn't care that much about the food choice they were making. Of course, as Dean pointed out, Seth needed to keep in shape to perform jumps and acrobatic moves.

"So you don't care for how you look when Sheamus lifts your shirt and people see your stomach?"

"No," Dean responded confidently.

"What about Renee?" Seth opened the tabooed topic.

"I think she's got better things to do than watch me getting beaten by Sheamus," he argued. Then he teasingly took a bite of a cupcake, just to annoy Seth.

"Maybe she likes to look at your body in private . . ."

"People do weirder things than that. Sometimes it's better not to know," Dean said nonchalantly. Not once had he looked at Seth or acted seriously.

"Screw you, Dean! Is it such a big deal to admit she's your girlfriend?" Seth immediately realized he said it louder that he meant to, but, to his surprise, Dean didn't get mad or anything. He acted casually, just as before.

"Here, have an apple." Dean placed it on Seth's plate. He looked at the cupcake and, knowing he wasn't going to eat more of it, he put it back on the tray. He didn't care he already ate some of it; he turned it so that nobody would notice at the first glance.

"You're unbelievable," Seth pronounced.

"Compliment?" asked Dean.

Seth just shook his head and laid the plate on the table with all the food untouched. He wasn't hungry anymore. He stepped back and then set down on the nearest chair secluded from other people. He watched Dean for a while and asked himself why he was being such a pain in the ass. He pitied Renee, but soon he realized he probably didn't act this way when he was with her.

It didn't take long for Dean to follow Seth. He sat down next to him, and he even brought him his plate. But what really cheered Seth up was that he spotted a slice of bacon among the "good food."

"I believe I speak for Roman too when I say we don't mind if you get curvy," Dean joked and at the same time sounded seriously.

"You're killing me."

"No, the bacon is. But it tastes good so who cares."

"No!" Seth sighed. "If you want to keep your relationship secret, okay, I get it. But once you've hinted me there is indeed something going on, I can't pretend I'm not curious. Can't you just tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Oh, I don't know," he spoke sarcastically, "your shoe size. . . . Are you together? Are you in the state that you haven't really talked about it? Have you slept together?"

"I can't give you one answer for all these questions."

"I'm not asking you to. All I want is some factual information." Normally a person's reaction to the questions would give him some clue, but it never worked with Dean. He had a perfect poker face and he never showed the other person what he didn't want them to see. He was in total control.

But finally it seemed Dean would tell Seth the truth. Seth knew he couldn't bear not knowing anymore; he needed to know what was going on for his inner peace so he really hoped Dean would stop denying. Dean didn't answer immediately though; he kept Seth tensed. Then he opened his mouth just to say, "I think she likes me."

"You don't say," Seth replied ironically because it was the easiest way to handle Dean's attitude and lack of seriousness. It took a lot of effort for Seth not to scream or throw something at Dean. How he wished to take a cake and throw it at Dean's face. A punch would do, too. But if Dean wanted to keep this infantile behavior, Seth was willing to keep his questions simple if it would get him the answers. "And do you like her?" he started the hearing.

"Sure. What's not to like about her?"

"Good," Seth showed appreciation. He thought he would keep it simple and ask only yes and no questions. "Do you go on dates?" Although he already knew the answer, he wanted Dean to admit it.

"Yes." Dean smiled, but didn't say more.

"Are you or Renee dating other people?"

"I wouldn't say so."

"Hm." In fact there was only one question that Seth wanted to know the answer to. He just hoped that this time Dean would tell him the truth. "Have you slept together?" he asked quietly after looking around to double check if it would stay between them.

"That's personal. I don't ask you about your sex life," he counterattacked.

"Yes, I do sleep with my girlfriend. Now can you answer me? Please," he demanded.

Dean seemed to be considering if he should tell Seth the truth. Would Renee be okay if he revealed the facts to him, without her having a vote? Would it be fair? On the other hand, Dean didn't enjoy much these talks. He liked joking, making fun of others or driving them crazy, as long as he didn't need to be serious. Now it was time for him to be real and show emotions. Of course, Dean allowed Seth before to enter his dark cave of feelings, but moments like that were quite rare, and Dean was okay with it being that way. But the most important thing to consider was that there was no going back. Once the truth is out there, Dean's chance of hiding what happened between him and Renee is gone. Moreover, Dean knew Seth well; he wouldn't be satisfied with a simple answer; he would want to know more, all the details. These were the facts. Now it was up to Dean to decide what to do. He considered his options; there weren't many. Either he tells him or not.

Dean sighed. Seth patiently waited; he knew there was nothing he could do to encourage Dean to speak. His eyes were hypnotizing his. Somehow he remembered what he once read somewhere about staring into other person's eyes for longer than six seconds or something. The study, or the internet, says that you either want to kill them or have sex with them. Both were wrong and inappropriate at the moment. He was only anticipating the answer. Nothing more, nothing less, he kept reminding himself. How he increasingly wished for Dean to speak because these uninvited thoughts were getting ridiculous and Seth needed to get a rid of them. "Did you sleep with her?" he asked again, hoping it would take his mind off the sex or murder topic. Well, there was still sex, but the one he was interested in didn't involve him. Man, that sounded weird, he thought. He seriously needed to stop thinking about it and focus. Focus! Seth shouted in his mind.

"Okay. If you really need to know, I didn't sleep with her."

Now that sounded like a lie to him. But Dean said it convincingly. But . . . No, Seth thought. That cannot be right. Renee said . . . and then . . . No! He has to be lying.

Dean probably noticed Seth's confusion. He decided to wait for him to take it in and see what he says. If he has something to say.

"But that night . . ." wondered Seth.

"Yeah," Dean let him know that he knew what he was talking about.

"No," Seth kept repeating. Really? he asked himself. Was his idea of that night Renee didn't finish talking to him about all wrong? She spoke of it as if something amazing happened. And then Dean came and they seemed so happy, so into each other, as when two people spend that first night together. Was it all just to mislead him? Did something go wrong that night? Or was Seth's assumption correct and Dean was just lying again?


	43. Chapter 43

"Guess what Seth just asked me," Renee spoke to Dean. Although she just entered, she skipped hello and went straight to the main part. "This was the third time in two days." She didn't need to explain to him what she was talking about; Dean knew very well at what all of Seth's question were directed. But he didn't seem interested in that discussion. His hand reached for Renee and he demanded a kiss. She didn't protest but kept it simple without too much passion. Immediately she returned to the topic that bothered her. "Poor Seth. Do you know how frustrated he is?"

"Do you know how frustrated am I?" Dean countered.

"Aww, what is your problem?" she asked with pretended affection. She stroked his cheek to show she cared and was ready to listen to his complaints.

"A guy has needs."

Renee laughed. Then she leaned toward him and whispered into his ear, "But the guy needs to be in the ring in ten minutes."

"That's enough." While he was aware of the lack of time and wouldn't risk being late, his wasn't the kind of job where he could afford it, he slid his hand under Renee's shirt to feel her skin. He felt her shivering at the touch of his cold hand but it wouldn't make him take it out. Instead, he covered wider area of her torso with his arm, and when he got a good grip on her, he pulled her closer to him in one quick move. "Wait here," he ordered her.

"Really?" She knew what his plan was but she doubted it would work. "Won't you be tired?"

"Don't worry; I have energy to spare," he assured her. Then he kissed her, and this intense kiss resembled more to what he considered the correct kiss than the previous one, which lacked passion. He held her close as he was slipped his tongue inside her mouth, but he wanted her to be even closer. He wanted every possible part of her body to be touching his. He couldn't get enough. But he knew he had to leave so he stopped.

"I don't get your strategy. Is it easier to wrestle aroused?" she joked, but she was curious, too.

"This is nothing," he said. Then added, "You should have seen me yesterday."

She smiled. "I have."

"Good. So you know what to expect."

"Yesterday was fun, but there's no way the events could repeat today," she responded in a way honestly.

"Don't underestimate me. Just stay here and wait. And when I come back, you'll see what a champion is capable of."

"You're not a champion anymore," she noted.

"Thanks," he said ironically. "That's very considerate of you to remind me."

After his match was over, he headed straight to the room where he hoped to find Renee waiting for him, just as he had told her to. He remembered the song by Artic Monkeys. _In my imagination you're waiting lying on your side, with your hands between your thighs and a smile…_ he sang in his head. He definitely liked that idea and his brain make that image very vivid. But when he opened the door, she wasn't there; nobody was. Dean wasn't really surprised, why would she wait there for twenty minutes? Moreover, she was working just like him and there were certainly other things she had to do. Dean was able to explain to himself why she didn't listen to him. Yet he wasn't determined to give up that easily. He searched for her, ignoring people wanting to talk to him, asking everybody if they haven't seen Renee. But although he was the one looking for her, Seth was the one to find her first.

Dean spotted them talking, but they haven't seen him yet. He noticed Renee's desperate look, which slightly changed when she saw Dean standing in distance. Seth couldn't know he was there since he was turned with his back to him. Dean wanted to keep Seth in ignorance of his presence; he put his index finger on his lips to show Renee he wished to stay covert. She knew what she was supposed to do now. She needed to escape. She needed to come up with some excuse to leave the conversation with Seth and follow Dean instead. Dean, believing Renee would go with him, or at least come after she gets rid of Seth, started slowly walking away, being careful so that Seth wouldn't notice. When he was in safe distance, he stopped and waited for Renee.

It couldn't take more than thirty seconds. He didn't know how she liberated herself so quickly from Seth's company, but neither did he care. She succeeded; that was all that interested him. He already knew she was capable. And recently he started to find out that she could be sly, too, just like him. That was a trait most people didn't know about, but he was glad that side of her existed.

"So can we get back to our business now?" he asked, taking her hand.

She hesitated. It wasn't that she didn't want to "get back to business" though. The hand holding puzzled her. She looked around in slight panic, then at Dean in confusion. Finally, she decided to be careful and refuse holding hands.

"Do you want people to know?" she asked in anticipation of a negative answer.

Dean shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't mind."

"You don't mind," she repeated, suggesting there was something fundamentally wrong with that sentence.

"Nope," he assured her. He smiled to enforce his statement.

"Explain this to me. You're okay with people finding out about us, yet you refuse to tell Seth."

He could see where her confusion was coming from, but in his view it was simple. He didn't give her an explanation, though; instead he chose to counter with a question. "Why didn't you tell him? He asks you as much as me. And it's not like it doesn't concern you."

She certainly wasn't expecting that question, but she wittily came with an answer. "I don't want to get involved in your relationship. I don't know what problems you two have, but the less I know the better."

Dean thought for a moment, but ultimately he decided not to accept her reasoning. "I think," he started, "that you're insecure talking about us. You're awaiting an approval from me. You want me to say it, don't you?"

By _it _he referred to something different know. Renee knew what he meant, even though he didn't name it. Maybe there was some truth in his assumption, but if so, very little. Her first reaction proved what he said, but soon her attitude changed and contained more confidence. Any insecurity that Dean might have initially seen in her disappeared.

"And _I_ think you're the one that actually wants to hear the definition of this relationship," she told him.

He smiled confidently but didn't deny what she said. "Well, we could talk about it," he concluded, "or we could spend the time doing something more pleasuring."

Renee pretended to be considering the options she's been given, but it was clear to both of them which option would eventually win.

Without actually confirming to each other what it was that they wanted to do, they headed toward the room that they knew they would find empty. And Dean took Renee's hand, proving to her that he really didn't care about people seeing them together. In some way, he wanted them to know. He wished to see their surprised faces and he wouldn't even mind plenty of questions that would surely come after their coworkers saw their suspicious behavior toward each other. Dean wondered what would happen if he decided to kiss Renee right in front of everybody. That idea was alluring. He already knew what effect showing affection in public had on Seth. And unlike the others, he had had some idea what was going on between them. Yet he wasn't sure what to think about it. And now, thanks to Dean's mind games, he was confused even more. But Dean wasn't willing to admit the truth to him. Maybe because the lies he said seemed more plausible to him than the fact that Renee was actually his girlfriend.


	44. Chapter 44

It became a habit for Dean and Renee to secretly meet after his matches. Sometimes they met even before he went inside the ring, but those moments were quiet rare. This was for a simple reason; he needed to focus, and Renee's presence was distracting. And although he was fine with improvising, the management had mixed feelings and preferred him being professional. Therefore no romantic escapes before the show. But once he was done, nobody could tell him what to do. And it seemed appropriate to him to be rewarded after an excellent performance.

Although the two weren't very careful with hiding their relationship, not that it was ever their intention, it was still a secret. They didn't care about public opinion on them being a couple, but also it was not important for anybody to know. When people find out, they find out. Neither Renee nor Dean made a big deal out of it.

Of course it was a big deal for them. It was new and unexpected. Few months ago they wouldn't think of this happening. Although, but they didn't admit this to each other, on quite a few occasions they had some sexual thoughts about one another. Now all of it was true. And it seemed surprisingly easy. They didn't judge the rightness of their relationship; it didn't matter. Maybe it wouldn't make sense to some, but who cared? It made sense to them. And it made them happy.

So as usual, after Dean played his part in the show, he left his teammates and started his typical search for his girlfriend. He didn't say anything to anybody; he didn't need to explain to anybody what he was doing. Also, he couldn't waste time which he could spend with her instead. She became his priority; everything else could wait.

Meanwhile Seth and Roman headed to the cloakroom. They were done for the day. An idea of a break was attractive. They could finally get to relax. For how much they loved wrestling and working for WWE, it took almost all their time. But they had no reason to complain; they were definitely among the company's stars at the moment. And it wasn't going to change anytime soon.

They found the room empty, although they could hear somebody taking a shower. Before following the same path, they wanted to get some water. Roman grabbed a bottle but instead of drinking the water, he poured it over him. He shook his head to get it out his hair. Then he took a sip. When Seth was done drinking, he opened the locker to get his phone and checked the missed calls. There were some, but none was urgent.

They didn't notice when the water in the bathroom stopped running; but suddenly Big E walked passed them.

"Hey," he said. "Done for the day?" he asked as he approached the locker with his clothes.

"Yep," Roman answered him. "We're going to the bar after we get ready, you wanna join us?"

"We are?" Seth asked confused. He didn't recall them setting on going to the bar afterwards. But he assumed that it was probable that it was Roman's spontaneous idea rather than that he had mentioned it before and Seth wasn't listening.

"Sounds great," Big E responded.

"Cool. Give us ten minutes. We can meet outside."

Roman grabbed a towel and headed to the shower. Seth was right behind him. He just needed to send out one text message.

When Roman heard him joining in the next shower unit, he started a conversation. "Is Dean coming too?"

"I didn't even know I was coming," Seth shouted to be heard in the noise of running water.

"But you are, right?" Roman didn't even think of possibility of Seth not going. He didn't discuss the program with him beforehand, but he knew Seth's schedule and that he didn't have other plans. So if he was now to say he wouldn't go get a drink with him, it would be considered unreasonable by Roman.

"Sure, why not," Seth said.

"And Dean? Where is he anyway?" he added a supplementary question. He hasn't really thought before where he went. He didn't even notice he was gone, to be honest. But he still didn't give it much importance. Washing his hair took more of his attention.

Seth casually answered his question, "I guess he's with Renee."

"Renee?" Roman wondered. "Did I miss something?"

"Yeah. But I believe I know as little as you."

"What's going on with them?" Roman wanted to know.

"My question exactly. . . . Still haven't got an answer, though."

"Explain me that."

"Dean doesn't want to tell me what their "current status" is. Well, he said something, but I highly doubt that it was true."

"Why? Is he mad at you or something?"

Seth shook his head, although Roman had no chance to see it. Then he used words to express his disillusionment. "I did nothing to him. I have no idea why he doesn't want to tell me."

"Yeah. He's keeping his personal life to himself; such an asshole," Roman said ironically. But he doubted that was the reason. "I bet he's doing it just to piss you off. He's pure evil," he said but smiled subsequently. He wondered what it would be like to be in Dean's head. Either a lot of fun or it would make you want to kill yourself. But it could be interesting to see what he was thinking, and even more to finally understand his reasons. Anyway, Roman considered Dean's actions hilarious. At least most of the time. Although sometimes he went with the games he played with Seth too far. Roman hoped this wouldn't be the case. "Have you thought of asking Renee?" Roman suggested.

"Of course I asked her. But she's on Dean's side now. She won't tell me anything unless she gets permission from Dean."

"Now I'm really curious," Roman said as he stopped the water and stepped out of the shower. "You have really no idea if something happened between them?"

"I don't know. I'm not even sure I care anymore," Seth admitted resignedly.

"No wonder Dean always wins when you give up that easily."

"Why don't _you_ try to get that information out of him?"

"I will," Roman accepted the challenge. "Man, I didn't even know he was single again. What happened with that other girl?" Roman totally forgot about Dean's previous relationship. He couldn't even remember what her name was.

"I'm not really sure; Dean didn't say much. I know there was the Renee thing. . . . Oh," Seth remembered, "and she got a job offer in Vegas."

"Hm, so was that a good or bad thing?"

"Since they're not together anymore, I guess Dean wasn't too happy about it. I talked to him back then. He said he wasn't ready or something, that it was too soon for them to be so close to each other."

"So he dumbed his girlfriend because he wasn't comfortable with her being close to him for those few days that he spends at home; and he replaced her with somebody who he works with, therefore spends most of the time with? That . . . makes sense," Roman said confused.

"Hey, don't question Dean's logic. I'm sure not even he knows what he's doing. But it makes sense in some way. He can go home knowing there isn't somebody who puts you under pressure of nonstop presence. I mean, you go home to relax, not to be stressed out."

"Your girlfriend must be a lucky girl."

"I didn't say _I _feel that way," Seth defended himself. "And yes, she is. Look, all I'm saying is that Dean has his reasons. They don't always make sense, but as far as I'm concern, I'm glad he's with Renee."

"I thought you didn't know whether they were dating."

"I still don't. But I start to believe they are in a relationship. Think about it. If they weren't, and it bothered him, he wouldn't talk about it. Yet he does; although rarely. And, for Christ's sake, they kissed in front of me!"

Roman didn't know how to react to that information since it was the first time he heard of them kissing. And Seth was there? That just sounded odd. But then again, he wasn't here.

"I don't think Renee's a kind of girl who would just mess around with her coworkers. And if I'm correct in my hypothesis," Said added a "big word" to make him sound more important, "the fact they really are together is what gives him the confidence to lie to me. If they weren't together, he would be honest; he's not so they are a couple."

"God, Seth!" exclaimed Roman. "You have way too much free time. Now I get why they don't tell you the truth. You're digging too much into it. I'm sure _they_ don't think about it as much as you do."

"But . . ." Seth wanted to say something clever in his defense, but it was time for him to realize the truth. He was acting as if it his relationship. That had to stop. Sure he was curious, but that didn't justify his breaking into their privacy.

"Just . . . leave it, okay? Look, I'll ask Renee, and then I'll let you know. But that's it. It's their life and it's their decision if they want people to know or not."

Seth accepted Roman's instructions. But he hoped Roman would get that information out of Renee. Sure, it wasn't crucial for him to know about their relationship, but he couldn't just let it go, not knowing the truth. Seth was determined to let them live their life, but only when he knows what's going on.

But while Seth was still thinking about them, Roman had already moved on to the unrelated topic. He spoke enthusiastically, "Would you believe what happened last night? I went on YouTube and there was a recommended video of me doing some sweet Superman punches to the song Kryptonite. How cool is that?" He was saying it as if it was the best thing ever.

"You know that those recommendations are based on you search history, right?" wanted to make sure.

"Hmm . . ." Roman seemed not to realize that.

"Dude, what do you watch there? Videos of _you_?" Seth asked with unhidden judgment.

"Hey, like you never do that."

"For research purposes," Seth hoped to justify his actions.

"Right. That's why you watched that jump you did at Extreme Rules at least twenty times." Roman shook his head. They both knew they didn't watch videos of themselves only to see what they did wrong and how they can improve their moves in the future. They could admire, too. Who was to judge them appreciating their well-executed moves?


	45. Chapter 45

"What took you so long?" asked Renee. She was getting frustrated waiting for Dean. Not only that she wasn't too happy about him wanting her to come back with him to the arena because he forgot his jacket in there, when they arrived, he demanded that she stay in the entrance hall. She didn't ask why, neither did she ask how he managed to get inside in the first place. The show was long over, and there was nobody in the building, except the security guard. She obediently waited, but he really didn't seem to hurry, even though, as he stated, he knew exactly where he left it.

This certainly wasn't her idea of an enjoyable evening; at least not so far. But there was more to come, Dean promised. He explained that this wasn't part of the plan, that he certainly didn't leave his jacket here on purpose. She didn't argue. It was a great opportunity for them to be alone, after all. Going on a "jacket search" wasn't very adventurous or romantic, but it was a welcoming escape from the four walls of the hotel room. Although that could get adventurous sometimes.

Last night they were almost caught. They could have seen that coming, though. Since Dean insisted that she come to his room, there was a danger of Seth interrupting them in something important. Once more time, Seth failed to fulfil his warnings not to share room with Dean again. He kept giving him last notices, but he couldn't just say "Ok, that's it." On the other hand, Dean and Renee's policy was not to officially stay in the same room until their dating is a known fact. It would be hard to explain, they believed. So instead they sneaked into Dean and Seth's room, well aware of Seth's absence. The problem arose with the fact that Renee was staying at a different hotel, not so close to Dean's. He offered her his bed and his presence for the night. But by accepting that, they needed to make a choice about how to deal with Seth. Either they told him and hoped he wouldn't mind her staying with them, or, as Dean suggested, they simply wouldn't let him get in. That was how Dean formulated his plan. It sounded too cruel to Renee, and even Dean soon realized that kind of treatment would be unfair to Seth. But he didn't like asking for Seth's permission either because that would mean coming out of the closet and admit their relationship. Dean didn't want to tell him yet. Seth's birthday was coming up soon so Dean thought that he could tell him as a birthday present. Long story short, Dean and Renee didn't come with a solution to their problem. They decided to deal with it later but they got distracted. So eventually they ended with no plan and Seth coming into the door at almost the worst time possible.

Renee hoped this evening would end better. But until now it kind of sucked. Fortunately, Dean came back but she noticed something odd. "Where's your jacket?" she asked. "I thought you knew where you left it."

"I do. It's in my room," he said as if it was no big deal. He seemed to have totally ignored Renee's confused look. She was unable to grasp what was going on, why they had to return to the arena if Dean's jacket had been back in the hotel all along. "Come with me," Dean told her instead of explaining which he, as always, did not consider necessary.

"I am not going to even ask," Renee gave in and willingly let him lead her.

Dean smiled. He was glad Renee understood his dealing with her and that "no questions asked" was the most suitable policy for their relationship. Having Dean as a boyfriend meant accepting his strange, even eccentric ways of showing that he cared. Maybe sometimes what Dean considered romantic wouldn't be generally seen as romantic, but Renee learned to appreciate little things. She didn't have high expectations of him, but that turned out be underestimating his powers. Just because he didn't have long history of serious relationships didn't mean he would suck at being a boyfriend. He could be romantic, he could be caring, he could be thoughtful.

"We're not going to wrestle, are we?" Renee joked when they walked down the stairs toward the ring, as The Shield does. Now Roman and Seth where not there. Dean wasn't in his ring gear. He wasn't even in his gimmick. And there was no audience. The whole space was dark, some light was coming from the sides but that was all.

Suddenly Dean changed direction. He turned left and then they walked between the chairs until they finally stopped and Dean showed Renee to her seat. She was starting to understand. As they sat down, all of the lights went off, but it didn't stay dark for long. The big screen lit up and the sound seemed to be coming from everywhere.

"Cinema is too mainstream," Dean whispered to Renee and handed her a bag of popcorn.

Renee didn't want to show how happy she was at the moment. She wondered if Dean was trying to make it up to her for the last night's having to hide under the sheets so that Seth wouldn't see her. No matter if that that was the reason or Dean was doing it just because "why not", she liked it. They had the whole arena for themselves, and this time they were the ones watching the show. Or, more precisely, the movie.

"What is it? Godzilla?" she guessed.

"No. I gave it more thought."

"Hmm, so am I actually going to like it?" Renee joked, asserting Dean's usual choices were not were not meeting the criteria of what she considered a good movie.

"I don't see why you shouldn't. It's a great movie."

"Have I seen it?"

Dean didn't want to give Renee too much information; he wanted to see her reaction when the movie starts. He believed that she had seen it before. It was an old movie, after all. He hasn't seen it in a long time, but he was more curious about her reaction. He anticipated her appreciation of his choice. So as she was looking at the screen trying to figure out what were they going to see, Dean was looking at her, maybe a little too obviously.

"I know this," Renee said after a while, but she was hesitant because she hadn't figured out yet what movie it was. She looked at Dean to tell her.

Dean finally stopped watching her and tried to act casually, as if he was watching the screen the whole time. He decided to tell her the name of the movie, though. "It's Rebel Without a Cause."

Of course Renee knew that movie. And she was glad it was what Dean had chosen for them to see tonight. She smiled but wouldn't allow Dean to see her smile. She rested her head on Dean's shoulder and he put his arm around her. Then he kissed her on the top of her head.

The movie was getting started, but Renee was unable to fully focus on James Dean. "How did you manage to do this?" she wanted to know.

"You don't need to worry about that," Dean tried to get her back to watching, but she wouldn't let it go.

"I don't worry; I'm curious. You had to get permission. And somebody had to put it on the screen."

Dean smiled confidently. "If I want something, I get it. It's really that simple."

It wasn't. But Renee didn't need to know the process of setting everything up. For her it was to enjoy. And when she realized Dean wasn't going to explain what he had to do to prepare their movie night, she did not ask more questions. She watched the movie and she enjoyed Dean's presence. Once again, he showed her his romantic side and that the person he was in the ring wasn't the same person she was dating. She fell in love with somebody who she didn't consider a boyfriend material; yet he proved he would pass the test for a good boyfriend if there was one. He was better at being in a relationship that she could ever imagine. It was surprising how maturely he acted when he was with her, at least most of the time. Of course that "lunatic fringe" was a part of his persona, but it was almost invisible to Renee. When Dean was with her, he was gentle and he didn't make spontaneous decisions that could get him in trouble. As a boyfriend, he did just fine. So far.


	46. Chapter 46

It was clear to Seth that Renee and Dean were a couple. Even Roman started to notice things. Looks, touches, subtle behavior. Those two were always looking at each other. Even if they weren't looking at the other person directly, they were aware of what their significant other was doing. Maybe they were standing far from each other, talking to other people, but Renee always kept an eye on Dean and Dean always kept an eye on Renee. Seth stopped noticing those signs; he was aware of them. Yet they didn't seem helpful to him. So they were together. But what now?

Roman observed their behavior closely. He patiently waited to make a final conclusion. And when it could no longer be deniable that Renee and Dean were a thing, Roman accepted the truth. But so had to Dean. With the facts in hand, the only thing that Seth and Roman needed was Dean's confession. They could get Renee to confess the reality. It probably wouldn't take much to get her to truthfully answer their questions, especially if they separated her from Dean. But for it would be too easy to get the information from Renee, it wasn't interesting to them. Dean was a real challenge. They wanted to get him to admit the truth. Only when he told them openly what was going on between him and Renee could his fellow Shield members be happy. Roman didn't even talk to Renee as he had promised to Seth some time ago. That could be plan B, he thought. He was better than that. He wouldn't be satisfied with anything less than a total victory. And while Seth spent weeks trying to come up with something that would make Dean talk and had already given up, Roman was determined to prove his superiority. He already had a plan in mind. And he was confident that it would work.

The plan wasn't really complicated. And the goal seemed achievable. All that was needed was to get in the room with both Dean and Renee. And then . . . And then Dean's little game of hiding would come to an end. Of course, there was a chance that Roman's attempt to get Dean talking would fail, but he believed Dean's quick-tempered nature. Dean would act instinctively. Roman was sure of that.

So there he was. Roman was standing in the catering room with many other wrestlers. He wasn't talking to anybody; he couldn't be bothered. There was Dean in the corner, enjoying his solitude. Seth was getting some food and in the meantime he was chatting with Cody. The Shield wasn't present; Dean, Seth, and Roman were on their own.

Roman waited. His mission was already in progress, but his moment was yet to come. He was in the room with Dean, but he needed Renee to be there as well. Roman knew she would come. It wouldn't take much longer.

If somebody looked at Roman and observed his behavior, they wouldn't notice anything abnormal or strange. He acted the same as always. He was calm. Maybe he appeared a little hostile because there was no sign of a smile on his face, but it wouldn't take much to make him laugh. He was enjoying the moment and the waiting; he just didn't let it show.

And there she came. Wearing her pretty dress, she entered the room. Her long blonde hair was loose as usual. She didn't look at Dean but she knew he was there. He didn't look at her either. They knew about each other's presence, but the situation made them pretend to be strangers. Renee walked straight toward the coffee machine. She still hadn't made an eye contact with Dean. And he seemed to be busy checking his phone. There was no interest whatsoever.

Roman whistled at Seth. He, as an obedient hound that he was, turned around and came to him.

"What?" asked Seth casually. He took a bite of his toast as he waited for Roman to speak.

"Do you want to see how it's done?" Roman's grand show was about to start. And Seth was one person that would understand what he was doing and could appreciate his performance. Now it was a great chance for Roman to show off. And he believed in himself enough to feel confident about achieving what Seth couldn't.

Seth had no idea what Roman was talking about. "What exactly?" He was curious, though.

Roman didn't explain. But he was watching Renee getting her cup of coffee so Seth looked that way too. "Just watch and learn," he said quietly to Seth and started walking toward Renee. Her glancing at Dean and him glancing back at her was Roman's signal to go.

Seth did as Roman told him. He watched. He didn't know what was going to happen, but he felt excited. He looked at Dean, too. Dean didn't pay much attention, but Roman was sure that he would soon.

Since when Seth abandoned Cody they were in the middle of a discussion, Cody approached Seth, but Seth showed no interest and pushed him away. He couldn't be distracted. There was something spectacular about to happen, Seth believed, and he needed to focus on Roman only. Well, on Roman as well as on Renee and Dean. All played part in the show, although they had no idea.

Roman and Renee seemed to be talking. For Seth, it looked like casual, usual conversation. He wondered how this could grab Dean's attention. What was Roman's big plan?

Seth stepped back to reach the chair behind him and sat down. In his opinion this could take a while. So he thought that he might as well sit back and enjoy. He was curious to hear what they were talking about, but he soon realized that the subject of their conversation probably wasn't that important. If the essence of the discussion was what was supposed to make Dean interested, he would need to be able to hear them; for he was standing too far from them, that wouldn't make any sense. So was it the way he talked? The way he acted? It wasn't clear yet.

Then Roman placed his hand on Renee's arm. He gently caressed it. At the same time he was smiling. "That son of a bitch" was one thing that crossed Seth's mind. He was flirting with her! Seth looked at Renee's reaction. She seemed a little uncomfortable. Then he looked at Dean. The phone no longer interested him. He was watching Roman and Renee. Dean didn't notice Seth looking at him, so Seth was free to observe Dean's handling the situation. His temper was rising.

Roman continued. He joked. He made her laugh. He asked her to feel his abs. Roman was having fun. And so was Seth who watched them from afar. Dean, on the other hand, was on alert. He was nervous. His eyes were striking Roman. Roman didn't look at Dean, but he knew Dean was watching and he didn't like what he was seeing. But Roman's theory was he could do whatever he wanted; as long as Dean doesn't admit Renee is his girlfriend, Roman doesn't need to ask for Dean's permission. And if Dean had a problem with Roman's behavior, he could always intervene. Of course, he would need to justify his action.

Dean was aware of that. He didn't know if Roman was testing him or if he was just doing what he thought was normal. Dean certainly didn't consider it to be fine. And Roman had never acted like that toward Renee before. So why now?

The room was emptying out. Only few people stayed. Yet those didn't watch what was happening before their very eyes. Even if they noticed Roman talking to Renee, and both Seth and Dean watching them, they didn't give it any importance; they couldn't understand. But although Roman was aware of the presence of other people, he didn't care. Even though he knew he would attract attention from his coworkers with his next move, he didn't hesitate. On the contrary, he got pumped with adrenaline, and it encouraged him.

So he took off his shirt. Dean stood up in anger. Seth's smile grew wider. Renee stepped back.

Renee's heart was beating fast. Roman wanted her to take a look at his tattoo. The one on his chest. It wasn't possible for her to see it with his shirt on. He asked her to touch it. It wasn't necessary to feel the tattoo as looking at it made more sense, but Roman wanted to see her reaction. Whether she was willing to erase the distance between them and touch his exposed body. But before she could make that decision, she noticed that Dean was on his way. He was biting his lip while walking briskly. He tried to look all right, but he was suspicious of Roman's intentions, and he could not hide that.

But Dean suddenly stopped. He changed his mind. He didn't want to let Roman win. He poured himself some water and tried to act casually. But he still breathed heavily. He still was furious and disapproved of Roman's behavior. But there was nothing he could do if he wasn't willing to admit the truth. Sure, Roman's actions were unusual, but who was Dean to tell him he should stop? He could intervene only as Renee's boyfriend. Was he ready to admit that?

Roman accepted Dean's decision. He knew it wouldn't be that easy and that he needed to try harder. He would. It was working just right for him. Roman got Dean's full attention. Now he was much closer. He would hear every single word. Of course, only if Roman didn't whisper into Renee's ear . . .

Now Roman looked directly at Dean who looked back at him. Roman made it clear what he was doing and what his goal was. He openly challenged Dean. The game was on. And Roman was winning. This was like a match to him. To be precise, it was an "I Quit" match. And he was having so much fun. He teased Dean. Dean did not like it. He was like an angry dog ready to bite. Fortunately, Roman was prepared to accept the punishment for his crossing the line. He wouldn't back off.

Dean was made to watch Roman placing his arm around Renee's waist. Why did she let him? Dean wondered. Then he remembered how difficult stopping Roman in getting what he wanted was. He had the confidence. He had the authority. Nobody could say no to him. That made Dean mad even more. He needed a plan. There had to be something to do.

But while Dean was trying to think of a plan, Roman was about to do something that would ultimately break Dean's self-control. He hugged his girlfriend. Shirtless. And although Roman only whispered it, Dean could clearly hear Roman calling Renee baby girl. There went the last bit of Dean's not giving a damn.

Roman gave Dean a what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it look. But Dean had just enough. He marched to his "friend." He quickly glanced at Renee who, although she would normally appreciate Dean's support, now got scared of him. Dean looked willing to kill Roman for flirting with his girlfriend. But Roman wasn't frightened. He was ready to face Dean. And he was ready to get him to confess.

"You've got a problem with that?" asked Roman and directed his question to Dean. Roman showed he was the one in control, not Dean. This would be played by Roman's rules.

Dean could lie no more. "I do," he admitted.

"I don't see why you should."

Dean's breathing reminded that of an angry bull. He clenched his fists and wanted to punch Roman's confidence away.

Meanwhile Seth decided to come closer. This was getting interesting, and he didn't want to miss a single word.

**To be continued . . .**


	47. Chapter 47

Dean was considering and reconsidering his options. He wasn't happy with either of them. When he looked at Renee, he noticed that she's been probably watching him the whole time. How he wished to be able to talk to her alone. To have just a minute to discuss what they could do. But even when the telepathic communication had failed, he knew her opinion. For days, even weeks, she had been telling him to stop hiding. There was no point in pretending that their relationship wasn't happening. Why not to admit it? She asked. He had never given her a meaningful answer.

This became entirely his choice. She had the right to say it instead of him, but she didn't. He was the one to make that decision. Why not to admit it? He asked himself. Now there was no escape. She was right. Probably. And Dean was sure that telling the truth was what Renee wanted. Her eyes were asking him to stop playing games and be serious for once. But he knew he would find support in her even if he decided to postpone the final decision. Renee was always on his side; that was what being in a relationship meant to her.

But what did it mean to him? She was supposed to be the most important thing in his life, the center of his universe, wasn't she? He tried, one had to give him that. But still it seemed that he prioritized getting his teammates mad, refusing to tell them what they wanted to know, instead of focusing on what Renee wanted. Dean was struggling. Being honest did not come naturally to him. In his eyes it was a weakness. His animal instincts guided him to victory. Winning all those small battles was important to him. Admitting that Renee was his girlfriend, admitting that Seth and Roman's assumptions were right meant giving up. It would mean that he had tried for nothing. All that time he had spent denying would go to waste. But wouldn't it come to that eventually anyway? There was no chance he could live the rest of his life without ever acknowledging his relationship with Renee.

The most important question was if he meant to be serious with her. Could he imagine the future with her or was she just another fling? Renee had never asked him what his plans were. Had he ever thought about to what their relationship could lead? It was too soon, sure. They only started dating and there could be no serious discussion yet. But that didn't mean they had never thought about it. Renee had. Dean? Maybe somewhere on the edge of his mind there had appeared an idea of spending the rest of his life with Renee. Thoughts concerning spending his days off with Renee, living with her, even starting a family with her one day did occasionally come and go, but until now Dean had always successfully fought them away. He wasn't ready to deal with them yet.

Now he was standing in front a big decision. It may have appeared as something unimportant to others, but it was a big deal for him. It wasn't just letting go of his games and accepting Roman's victory. For him the question of what his relationship with Renee meant was at stake. Once he admits the reality, there is no going back. More importantly, by telling Roman, and Seth too as Dean had noticed him lurking, he wasn't even trying to pretend he wasn't listening, by telling them, Dean would invite them into his relationship. They would know everything. It wouldn't be difficult for them to learn how Dean treats Renee, and when she tells them about the thoughtful gestures and their romantic dates, Roman and Seth would use that new information to their advantage. Dean could already hear them make fun of him. He could hear them calling him weak. Dean would no longer be the one making jokes, he would be at the other end.

This all was at stake. But as much as Dean's mind was inclined to refuse any attacks on his intentions and keep lying to his best friends, one long look at Renee had changed everything. This struggle wasn't about him. The consequences of his decision wouldn't concern him only. Sure, continuing with denial would make life easier for him, but what about her? How would it make her feel if he wasn't willing to introduce her as his girlfriend? Dean realized that escape meant hurting her. His victory was her loss. In this battle, Renee was on Roman's side.

So it came down to Dean's pride or Renee's happiness. Compromise wouldn't work in this case. If he decided to be selfish, she would probably pretend to be all right with the choice he had made. She would be hurt on the inside, but on the outside it would be difficult to spot her disillusion. On the other hand, if Dean decided to do what Renee wanted him to, it wouldn't be the end of the world for him. He could live with people knowing. He could even accept Roman and Seth's jokes about the lack of his masculinity. What mattered was that Renee would appreciate Dean's honesty; he would rise in her eyes. He had the ultimate chance to prove to her that she didn't make a mistake falling in love with him.

Renee looked at him; she wondered what was going through his mind. She searched for a clue to what his final decision would be but he was too good at keeping it to himself. But he appeared calmer, much calmer than before. Jealousy seemed to have disappeared. Confusion was on its way to leave, too. Had he made a choice yet? Why was he looking at Renee and didn't even glance at Roman? Renee seemed to be anticipating Dean's decision more than the hounds. But she wasn't as excited as them. And she wasn't calm as Dean either. She was curious, but in some way, scared, too. She wished she knew what Dean would do. Nobody did. It was as if there were firm walls, strong defense system protecting him from possible thieves. His thoughts were safe. Not even Renee was allowed to enter and see if he had a plan.

But this wasn't the time where he could take as long as needed to come up with a plan. Maybe spontaneity wouldn't be the best choice either, but what it mattered? In the end, they all knew what he would do. The process wasn't important, the results were. But if he was to finally end the hiding, he chose to at least make it interesting.

His eyes were still set on Renee. Roman may have been standing right next to Dean, watching him closely, but as far as Dean was concerned, Roman could catch on fire and Dean wouldn't still look at him. Roman may have been the one to organize this parade, but he was the least important person in it right now. Dean was the director. Renee was playing the leading role. But in a way she was above him; she was the one directing him, showing him the way. She was his muse. She gave him strength to do what otherwise he wouldn't even consider doing. Now he wasn't afraid.

He reached for her hand and crossed his fingers with hers. He smiled at her and she smiled back. She liked where it was going. Dean took a step to be close enough to her. Close enough to kiss her.

Roman and Seth's jaws dropped. They expected Dean to eventually admit he was in a relationship with their favorite interviewer, but they didn't see this coming. Not with people around. There weren't many but those who were in the room immediately stopped whatever they had been doing and gasped in surprise. What the hell was going on? Dean and Renee? Roman's half-naked body wasn't the most interesting thing in the room anymore.

Seth looked around to see people's reactions. They were as puzzled as him; and he had seen those two kissing before. He wondered what his coworkers were thinking. Then he shared a look with Roman. Roman was smiling; he achieved what he wanted. His plan worked, even better than he anticipated. Seth finally came closer to him and those two "we don't give a fuck who sees us."

"So," Seth spoke to Roman, "are they ever gonna stop kissing?"

It took longer than an average kiss. Seth thought that maybe Dean didn't know what to do afterwards, he was too scared to face the consequences of his sudden action, so he prolonged the kiss. Seth was wrong. Dean wasn't scared. He just liked it took much to stop. And so did Renee.

As a reaction to Seth's question, which Dean heard even when he was too busy making out with his girlfriend, Dean showed him a middle finger. Roman laughed. However romantic Dean may have appeared at that moment, it was still that egocentric, competitive bastard that Roman loved. But it was a good thing Renee couldn't see Dean's multitasking.

When the kiss was finally over, Dean victoriously looked at Roman and then at Seth, too. While Roman did all this to lower Dean's confidence, Dean made his loss his victory. He took all that was against him to his advantage. He didn't lose power; he was still in control.

"She's mine," Dean said.

Renee knew she wasn't supposed be okay with the way Dean pronounced it, as if she was his property, and she certainly wasn't supposed to like, but she couldn't help herself, she really did like it. It was an acknowledgment of their relationship after all, not a typical one but it was good enough.

"Wow," Roman exclaimed. "So I guess Dean Ambrose is not afraid of commitment anymore."

Dean didn't answer. It wasn't that simple. He was still terrified, but he made a huge step forward today. They couldn't expect him to feel comfortable dealing with daily relationship tasks. And there could be no discussion about important, far-reaching decisions. Maybe at some point in the future he would be able to make those, but that day seemed distant. For now it was enough that he accepted responsibility for being in a couple.

Roman was happy he made Dean confess. Although, he didn't actually say it. "Say it," Roman demanded.

"Say what?"

"Say that she's your girlfriend," Seth joined the conversation. His eyes were sparkling. He was so excited.

Dean wasn't. He wasn't happy to give them what they wanted. He saw what they were doing. They were trying to win.

Dean looked at Renee. They tried to communicate without words. They weren't good at it. Then Renee smiled. She shook her head. No, she didn't need Dean to say it. In her eyes, what he did sufficed. And it had to be clear to Seth and Roman too. Of course Dean wouldn't say "Roman, Seth, this is Renee, my girlfriend." How about kissing in public? Isn't that enough of an evidence? Even threatening them by saying "she's mine" was a form of acknowledgment of their relationship. Those two were stupid if they thought they could get more out of Dean. If they wanted Dean to be an adult about it, their actions should present an example for him. Renee wouldn't support their childish behavior.

She showed Roman and Seth that she disapproved of how they were taking advantage of Dean being a gentleman near her, and also made sure that Dean knew he didn't have to do anything they wanted him to. This didn't concern them after all. They got what they wanted; now they should let go.

Renee whispered something into Dean's ear; Roman and Seth had no chance to hear it. They only saw Dean smiling afterwards. Now it was clear to them he wouldn't give his victory away. The possibility of him saying the sentence they wished to hear, the one that existed just a moment ago, was not gone.

Dean and Renee left. But although they entered the room as strangers, they left it as a couple. The secret was out. Roman believed his successful mission was the reason behind it. Seth thought Roman played his part, but the ultimate factor that helped Dean make the decision and tell the truth had nothing to do with Roman. He was right.


	48. Chapter 48

"This is a stupid idea. It is the stupidest idea you've ever had." Renee couldn't believe she let it go this far. She should have said no. Although it wasn't like he had actually asked her or even told her what would happen. He never gave her any details.

"Come on," he tried to change her mind. "You know you want it." He knew this was kind of extreme, but that idea attracted him so much. He had been thinking about it for a while. The initial problem was Renee. Well, no, the absolutely initial problem was that there was nobody to do it with. But then he started going out with her and that meant an opportunity to realize his plan. But Renee would have never agreed with this. Definitely not the Renee of the first few weeks of their dating. He wouldn't even have found courage to talk about it with her when they weren't together. And he was able to talk about a lot of weird stuff with her while they were only friends. Now it was different. He made her agree to try it. He had gotten her here. Now she was hesitating; but he still believed he could make it happen.

"You are crazy," Renee noted. Dean took it as a compliment. "What if they find out?"

"That's what makes it interesting. Don't you like that rush coming from danger of being caught?"

"No," she answered. "You like it; definitely not me."

"That's because you've never tried it," he tried to convince her.

"Then tell me, have you?"

Dean didn't reply.

"Now I'm curious." She even forgot for a moment about the situation Dean got her in and became more interested in knowing if he had done it before.

"No," he denied. "Of course not." His answer was confident, but that didn't mean he wasn't lying. "But I know you will like it."

"But . . ." Renee hopelessly searched for something that would get her out of there. But the problem was even if she made Dean see that it was not a particularly good idea, now it was safer to stay inside. If they went out, they would definitely be caught. This was a lost case.

"Relax, darling," he flirted with her. "It's going to be all right. Look, I made it look pleasant for you."

"Yeah, about that . . . I think Bray will be looking for his lantern." She may have had a point. But Dean didn't care about Wyatt's relative anger. He would steal it again.

Dean smiled viciously. "If you want I'll get his hat, too," he promised.

"You're crazy," Renee repeated. She felt she couldn't stress it enough.

"I'd get you Santino's cobra. I'd get you El Torito's tail. I'd get you Triple H's sledgehammer."

"Shh," Renee pressed her finger against Dean's lips to make him stop talking. He wasn't loud but it was still dangerous and it increased others' chances to discover them hiding under the ring in which a match was taking place.

"I'd get you anything. Just name it," Dean managed to keep talking, but turned down the volume.

Renee was pleased, but she couldn't actually see Dean meet his promises. More importantly, those things that he said he would get, or to be more precise steal, were of no interest or use to her. What would she do with Santino's green sock anyway?

"I'd steal my belt back from Sheamus," Dean made one more empty promise.

"That's what you want, not me," Renee pointed out. Then she felt silent. She felt frustrated due to the situation she found herself in. Maybe she should surrender. It wasn't like she didn't wonder what it would be like. Sure, it was dangerous, but maybe Dean was right. Maybe that was what was making it more interesting. She found encouragement in Dean's eyes. Should she do it? In this situation she could somehow relate to the phrase "you only live once."

She looked around one more time. There wasn't much to be seen. Some tools, which she got scared of considering Dean knew how to use them. But they weren't going to wrestle so she hoped he wouldn't. She wasn't his opponent; grabbing a steel chair or a hammer or a table would be unnecessary. If he wanted her to stop protesting, violence definitely wasn't a way to do it. Moreover, it would be difficult to locate the possible weapons. It was somewhat dark; the lantern didn't make that much of a difference. And it was loud. Fortunately noise was something they could make a good use of. But she felt a little claustrophobic. This was her first time under the ring.

Where did he get this idea anyway? Renee wondered. He often came up with spontaneous ideas that didn't make sense, but this one didn't just pop up in his head; he had to plan it. But still more surprising was that she was about to agree to it. Dean had bad influence on her. She had long known that, yet she didn't do anything about it. Quite the opposite, she always let him. She felt bad indirectly encouraging him in coming up with new things to do, to try. The way it usually went was Dean came up with an idea and Renee always failed to say no. When she thought about it, she realized she should start setting boundaries or it would get too far one day. This felt like that day, though.

Dean was looking at her lovingly. There was lust, too. He was able to ignore the sounds coming from above and focus on what he wanted. Was it dangerous? Maybe. Was it crazy? Definitely. Was it a stupid idea? Hell no. But he loved how she reacted when he first mentioned it. Her freaking out was cute. And how awesome it was that she eventually agreed? Well, she hadn't said all right, fine, let's do it, or anything similar, but he could see it in her eyes that she wouldn't oppose anymore. Dean even believed there was something inside her that wanted it just as much as him. Well, maybe not as much; girls have different priorities, he reminded himself.

"So how are we going to do it?" asked Renee, giving him the green light but also gaining herself some time. She wasn't ready.

Dean laughed covertly to avoid being heard and ruin his maybe only chance to finish his masterpiece. "Like you've never done it before," he commented sarcastically.

"Well, not here. Not like this."

"It works the same. But this time you keep quiet," he gave her an advise as he made a move. "Close your eyes," he whispered, and she felt his warm breath on her ear. There was no reason to postpone it. The more they waited, the bigger chance there was they would be caught. They needed to use the noise of the match and the arena to their advantage. If the whole place went quiet, that could get them in trouble. As long as people shouted, there was nothing to worry about. That was the conclusion to which Dean's logical thinking led.

Unlike Renee, Dean acted normal. Well, his normal. The situation didn't stress him out, and Renee wondered if he was that good at pretending that the surroundings was a quiet bedroom or he actually forgot that they were under the ring and made himself believe that they were alone. The third possibility was that he actually liked it the way it was. Loud and full of possible threats. Renee was tense, no matter how much she tried to accept the situation. Dean was making her feel a little better, giving her some of that it's-going-to-be-all-right attitude, but she simply didn't feel comfortable basically doing it in public.

"You're terrified," noted Dean quietly. He could see that she was trembling; he could hear her heart beating fast and loud. "You have nothing to worry about," he tried to calm her down, "I'm here to protect you." Dean's sweet words didn't make much of a difference. But he didn't give just yet. "You know how people on their deathbed say they regret things they haven't done?" Renee didn't answer, but there was something of a nod, rather unsure, but it was enough for Dean to go on, "This is one of those things."

"I don't think many people can get under the ring to do this," Renee rejected that idea.

"Exactly. You have a great opportunity. And, well," he spoke confidently, "you have here a guy who will make this experience unforgettable for you."

Renee finally smiled and her heartbeat got a little slower. It was still not enough for Dean. "There's no reason for you to be scared. It's not like you're about to jump out of an airplane, not knowing if your parachute opens or not," Dean joked. "Breathe." It wasn't an empty phrase; he really wanted her to take a deep breath, which would, in his opinion, make her feel more relaxed. "Breath in," he commanded, "breath out. Breath in," he repeated after he gave her some time to do as he ordered, "and breath out."

The worries were not gone, but she was ready. At least she knew it couldn't get much better.

"I got this," Dean said without a sign of hesitation. "Renee?" He made her look at him.

"Yes?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes," she replied quietly.

"Say it."

"I trust you," she did as asked.

"Good."


	49. Chapter 49

The suspicious looks chased Renee the whole day. And the next one, too. They didn't come talk to her and they didn't ask; it wasn't necessary. They got their information. If they wanted to know more, she wasn't the person to approach. But wherever she went, whatever she was doing, when she found herself in the room with Roman or Seth, she could feel their eyes on her back. They knew. There was no other explanation. It bothered her that they kept staring at her even when she turned away; it made her wonder what exactly Dean told them. Everything or did he kept some details secret? Or did he say even what didn't happen. It wouldn't surprise her if Dean exaggerated what actually happened.

It was strange though, unfair. Dean had always asked her not talk to them, or anybody else, about their relationship. He said it was their life, so it should be private. Yet, and this made Renee laugh, he evidently kept gossiping. Sometimes girls are better at keeping secrets, especially when it suits them. But oh those double measures. Did Dean actually believe that although he sort of forbid Renee to tell people about them, it was okay for him to do so? Either way, it seemed apparent that Renee had become a target for the Shield, and she did not like it.

On the other hand, she kind of understood. She didn't want to take a revenge on her boyfriend because she knew he didn't do it to hurt her or to embarrass her. No, he simply did it to make himself look better in the eyes of his friends. That's why he was willing to reveal their secret adventures to them. Renee thought that it was probably a pride thing. She would never do it, but she accepted Dean's point view, which differed from hers. When she looked at it the way she believed Dean did, she could see what was so attractive about it and why Dean wanted to tell his mates. It was fun, it was new, it was unexpected of her to agree on doing it, so one could understand why Dean wanted to brag about it. He made it his achievement.

Yet Renee would prefer if it stayed between her and Dean only. But the damage had been done, and there was no point in arguing over it or even blaming him for not keeping his mouth shut.

After the show she waited for him. She was long done so she had the possibility to leave earlier but she chose not to. Instead, she decided to wait for him to finish. He didn't know about her waiting for him, though; they hadn't made any plans together. He was quite surprised to see her standing by the wall, seemingly ready to leave. But he found it convenient that he saw her. "Have you seen Seth and Roman?" Dean called at her through the hallway when he noticed her. He seemed to have been looking for those two, unsuccessfully. Renee knew why he wasn't able to find them.

"They already left," she explained.

"Jerks. We were gonna go grab a beer. Why would they leave?" He spoke more quietly now since he was standing almost in front of her and she could easily hear him. "They were supposed to wait for me." Dean was confused and not very happy about them gone.

"I told them to go without you."

"Oh. Oh! Damn! You know," he guessed the reason behind her decision to not let him go to the bar.

"I do know," she replied, referring to finding out about Dean telling Seth and Roman about their little adventure under the ring.

"I should have seen it coming. I guess I totally ignored the possibility, the probability," he corrected himself, "of you getting mad about it. So this is my punishment? You forbidding me from hanging out with the guys?"

Renee let him speak. After he was done, she disagreed, "I'm not mad. I'm not too happy, but I'm certainly not mad. Look, I know I'm dating Dean Ambrose, so you can be sure, I've worked on my patience and raised the bar for getting angry." As a result of noticing Dean's I-don't-know-what-to-think-about-this reaction, she said, "That's a good thing."

"So why are you scrapping my plans?"

Renee sighed. "I'm not scrapping your plans. You can go to the pub any other time."

"Not tonight."

"Not tonight," Renee made it clear. "I know that we didn't set on spending the evening together, but hey, why not? Moreover, you're always the one making plans."

"But I'm good at it."

Renee had to admit she liked Dean's date ideas, in the end, but for once she wanted to be the one coming up with something. "Tonight I planned something for us to do."

"As far as I'm concerned, you don't need to plan anything. I don't need any romance. Just take your clothes off and I'll be happy."

Renee laughed. There may have been something about it, however, she decided to stick to her original plan.

"So what are we going to do today?" Dean asked when he saw there was no chance Renee would change her mind and go with his idea instead.

"You'll see."

He saw what she was doing. She wanted it to be a secret. He, too, never told her his plan but preferred her to see and experience it instead. Now the situation was reversed. She was the one who knew and he had no idea how they would spend the rest of the day. He was curious, a little excited, but most of all he believed that she had planned something interesting for their date.

They quickly got out of an arena. A cab took them away from there but also away from the hotel. Dean wondered where they were going but didn't ask. He would find out eventually. In the cab they didn't act as lovers; the cabdriver probably had no idea who they were but they felt kind of strange acting amorously in public. They still didn't show affection in front of their colleagues, although most of them knew they were together. The only two people in whose presence they felt comfortable enough to act naturally were Roman and Seth. These two knew almost everything, either from Renee or from Dean. Mostly from Dean.

The cab stopped in front of some house. It had to be it, their final destination; Renee had given the driver the address where to go. Dean looked to the right. No, there was no restaurant or park or any place which he would consider usual for a date. It seemed to be a residential area.

"Are you sure this is the place?" asked Dean.

Renee nodded and got out of the car. Dean obediently followed. Then Renee started walking toward one of the houses; there was nothing special about it, it looked just like the other ones. All the houses in this area looked the same; that was kind of strange, but not as much as Renee who still kept her plan a secret.

"Aren't you gonna tell me what are we doing here?" Dean was confused. He stopped liking not knowing what was going to happen. Whatever it was, he wasn't ready for it. He needed some explanation. "Renee!" he called after her. She was almost at the door. If this was supposed to be funny, it wasn't.

There was no way she was getting him inside the house if she didn't say why. He still stood on the side of the road. She had to return to get him.

"Okay," she started, sounding more serious than usually, "I didn't want to tell you because I worried that you might not agree on coming here."

"What? What is this about? Who lives there?"

"Why don't you go see yourself?" she proposed.

He wondered if it would be really such a bad thing to knock on that door. He had no idea who lived inside or why Renee brought him here, but it seemed to him that Renee really cared about it and wanted him to go there. Did she know these people? And why was it risky to simply tell him?

"This is not a date, is it?" Dean suddenly realized.

Renee smiled and softly kissed Dean on the cheek. "Sure it is. You're just not a date with me tonight."

"I don't understand."

"Just come with me and you will." She offered him her hand. Dean hesitated but they came too far to not go along with it. And he couldn't disappoint Renee to whom this mattered a lot. He let her lead him until they reached the door. Renee rang the bell and patiently waited. She held Dean's hand firmly, and Dean wasn't sure if it was to support him or to make sure he wouldn't slip away. But when the door opened, she let go and acted as if they were only two random people who happened to stand beside each other.

A middle-aged woman asked them to go inside. She certainly expected them to come. But she didn't seem to know either Renee or Dean. Renee introduced herself and Dean, too.

"The dinner will be ready in about ten minutes," said the woman, who was wearing a Christmas apron. Rudolph was a little out of season but it was something that made Dean smile. Renee didn't notice. The woman, who introduced herself as Claire, then went back to the kitchen and called upon somebody to welcome the guests and lead them into the dining hall. It was a perhaps fifteen-year old boy. Dean guessed that he was not too excited about them coming into their home. He seemed to be one of those boys who would prefer playing video games instead of having a family dinner. But he was nice to Dean and Renee and did his best to hide his lack of enthusiasm. Dean didn't catch boy's name and didn't dare to ask again. He was busy getting familiar with the surroundings.

The furniture was old and wooden. The whole house was mostly dark due to brown furniture and small windows. One of the wall lights was dim and another one didn't work at all. They came into the dining hall and were told to sit down. The plates were ready and they could already smell the food from the kitchen, which was separated from the dining hall only by an arch.

When the boy was not looking, Dean leaned toward Renee and whispered, "You still won't tell me what's going on?"

"You'll see," she said again.

Dean felt strange; not belonging there. He didn't know these people and he had no idea what he was doing there. The only thing he knew was that dinner would be served in less than five minutes. He grabbed the glass in front of him and took a sip of the red wine. Then he noticed there were five glasses in total. Five sets of plates and cutlery. Dean and Renee were two; so far he had met two people, the woman and the young boy. There would be one more person joining them.

"Josh!" the woman shouted at the boy, that had to be his name, as she walked in holding a bowl of some food which she then placed in the middle of the table. She didn't like that he was on his phone. and took it away from him.

"I'm sorry," she apologized for him.

"That's okay," Renee replied.

The boy looked hatefully at Dean who hadn't spoken yet. He was too confused to say anything. Also, he had nothing to say.

"Josh," the woman called his name again a minute later, this time more calmly, "Why don't you go get Rebecca?" That had to be the last person at their table. Dean looked at the glasses one more time. There was wine poured in three of them. In the other two there was different liquid, probably juice. No alcohol for them. So Rebecca had to be a kid as well.

Finally, the food was ready. Claire set down at the head of the table. Renee and Dean were sitting next to each other. The children would sit opposite them.

They hadn't come yet. The boy went upstairs to get the girl, probably his sister, but after two minutes they were nowhere to be seen.

"I'm sorry," the woman apologized again and said she would go get them.

Renee and Dean were left alone. Dean hoped Renee would at last tell him what was going on. She didn't. There was no time. Moreover, she believed she wasn't the one with right to talk about it.

Dean's assumption was correct; Rebecca was a child. She could be no older than seven, probably younger than that. She did recognize him. Yet there was no smile on her face. She sat down to eat. The whole place fell silent.

"Hi, Rebecca," Renee was the first one to speak, "I'm Renee. It's nice to meet you. Oh," she pretended to forget about something. "And this is Dean. But you know Dean, don't you?" Renee was very sweet and kind, but this girl didn't seem to appreciate it. She didn't say "Of course I know him," or "Nice to meet you, Renee." No, this girl quietly took a piece of potato on her fork and ate it. She kept absently staring at her plate. If she was excited about meeting the WWE Superstar, she hid it well.

They all started eating. Dean observed the little girl and wondered what was wrong with her. There had to be something; she didn't seem to be quite all right.

"Rebecca is a big fan of yours, Mr. Ambrose," the mother said. It felt strange for Dean to be called that, but that was not important.

"Really?" he asked instead and waited for Rebecca's reaction. There was none.

"Rebecca," Renee called her directly, but she didn't even look at her. Dean found it odd, and also that the mother didn't do anything about it. Renee continued anyway, "I heard you want to be a wrestler, is that true?"

After another moment of silence, her mother replied, "It has been her dream for almost two years."

"It's not anymore," her brother unexpectedly joined the conversation. "She no longer even watches wrestling."

"Well," Claire said, "she used to."

"What happened?" Dean asked and everybody, covertly even the girl, looked at him. He wasn't supposed to ask that question. Now even Renee realized she should have told him and not keeping everything a secret until the very end.

Rebecca stood up and without excusing herself left. Now there was no reason not to tell him.

"Her father died a month ago," her mom explained. "Ever since then, Rebecca has been apathetic. She doesn't speak or interact with anyone. She spends most of time in her room, alone. She used to love WWE and watched it often. Too often." She smiled at that memory. "She shared that interest with her father."

"What happened to him?" Dean dared to ask.

"He was a soldier. He was shot in Afghanistan."

"I'm sorry about that," Dean said to the woman who was getting emotional thinking about her dead husband.

"Anyway, when he came home, he used to take her to a live event. They were going to go together to the one that was today."

"But without him she didn't want to go," Renee finished the explanation.

Dean felt like he should do something; they all seemed to be expecting from him to try to cheer her up because they believed he was the one that was most likely to succeed. But what was there to do? She didn't seem to be very psyched to see him, although, as her mother claimed, she admired him and looked up to him. That seemed out of place to Dean; if she was older maybe it would make sense. But as a little girl she certainly didn't look at him the way teenage girls did. How long has she been watching him wrestle? How much did she know? Dean wondered what the odds of her knowing him as Jon Moxley were. He hoped she had no idea of the person he used to be. But if she liked the Dean Ambrose of these days, was it just him or was she a fan of The Shield, too?

"Would it be okay if I went to her room?" Dean asked after thinking whether that was what he wanted to do.

"That would nice of you," said the mother. "It's the second room to the left."

Renee watched him as he stood up, and it was clear that she appreciated what he was about to do. She smiled at him to show her support of his decision.

He walked up the stairs and knocked on her room. He let himself in. Rebecca was sitting on the floor playing with her dolls. The room was dark; darker than the rest of the house. The curtains were closed and only a small light was on. Dean turned the main light on the ceiling on to stop feeling as if he was in a cave. He didn't feel comfortable there and the silence didn't help either. Rebecca didn't react to his presence; she kept focusing on her toys. Dean took a look around. The walls were covered with posters. One wall was full of WWE Superstars and Divas. He was on more than one picture. And there were also other Shield guys. Majority of the current roster appeared on collective posters. Dean got a spontaneous idea. He picked a black marker lying on the table and signed the poster of him. Afterwards he questioned if it was a good idea; some people don't like having anything written on their pictures, no matter if the person signing it is the same as the on the picture. He looked at the girl to find out if he hadn't ruined it. She didn't seem to care.

Then he looked at the other wall. That one was full of pictures of soldiers. Maybe some of them portrayed her father. Close shots at faces were not rare and Dean could see that a certain face appeared there more than once. That had to be her dad. Dean didn't want to look at it. He kneeled next to the girl; finally she acknowledged his presence. But that didn't make it easier for him. And almost immediately she went back to playing. She firmly held one doll; it wasn't a Barbie doll, it wasn't a princess or any other girl figure. It was a soldier. The doll was wearing a uniform and its hand was placed as if saluting. This girl had no interest in wrestling anymore. Dean was no longer her role model; her father was. Dean left without a word; he doubted there was something he could do.

By the look on Dean's face they could tell he hadn't succeeded in bringing her back. The young boy didn't seem surprised. "What did you expect to happen?"

"Josh!"

But Dean was asking the same question. According to him, that girl needed a professional help, a psychologist or psychiatrist, not a wrestler.

"I'll make some coffee. Do you take milk or sugar?"

"Just black, please," Renee replied for both of them.

"Can I leave now?" asked the son.

"No." Then the mother left to the kitchen.

Josh was enraged; he didn't like the guests and saw no point in them staying. "You think that just because you're famous you can make miracles?"

Dean wanted to shout at him, he didn't like his tone, but secretly he agreed with him. He may have been good in the ring, he may have been good at getting adolescent girls like him; he had no superpowers though. And he didn't know how to deal with young kids, especially when they had no interest in him. Therefore, he said nothing when Josh stood up and left, without his mother's permission.

"Renee, what are we doing here?" There was another question hidden behind this one; why are we still here?

She didn't answer him. Instead she stood up and left too. Dean didn't need to be a genius to know where she went.

The coffee was ready but there was nobody at the table other than Dean. And he would sacrifice the coffee for being able to leave to a more pleasant place. This depressive temple was too much even for him. He understood that Renee cared about it and wanted to make that little girl happy again but Dean knew it wasn't in their power.

Now Dean could sense the proximity of an awkward conversation with Claire. He wished he could avoid it. He prayed Renee would come back. She had been gone for more than five minutes now. Did she have a goal of not returning until she made Rebecca talk? Would she not be happy until the girl was happy? In that case, it would take really long for Renee to return.

Dean imagined how Seth and Roman were spending their evening. He wished he were able to join them. Oh, such a wishful thinking, so distant from reality. In front of him was a hot coffee, not a cold beer. And there was an unknown woman he shared no interests with sitting beside him, not his buddies with whom he shared almost everything. But he was doing this for Renee, he reminded himself.

More minutes passed before she finally returned. "Could you come with me?" she turned to Dean. He didn't want to go back, but he stood up and left the room to get a chance to talk to his girlfriend in private.

"Did she say anything?"

"No."

"Then why don't you just give up?"

"Dean," she sighed as if that could suffice as an answer.

"I don't know how to talk to her. I don't know how to act around her."

They were alone. Nobody was watching them and nobody could hear them; despite this Renee spoke quietly. "I know she's happy that you are here."

"I'm not the one she's looking up to anymore."

"Maybe not, but your opinion still matters to her."

"My opinion? Opinion on what exactly?"

"On why she shouldn't give up on life. Why she shouldn't seclude herself from the world, from her family, and people who care about her."

"I can't change how she feels. I don't have that influence on her."

"I believe you do," Renee said, and she meant it.

"What happened there?"

"I talked to her." To avoid the question that would follow, she continued, "I told her about you, how amazing you are."

Dean shook his head.

"You are," she persistently repeated. "And I know that you can make this girl interested in wrestling again. You do have that power."

"I really don't think so," he disagreed. He sounded like he had already given up; and he felt that way too.

"Just be yourself, you'll be surprised what you can achieve."

"How can I be myself around six-year old girl?"

Renee smiled. "Don't look at her as at a little girl. You don't need to pretend you're something that you're not. Sure, maybe you could scale down your typical behavior; but I'm not asking for some children-friendly version of Dean Ambrose. So what if she's only six? You can still joke around her. You don't have to be serious."

"I don't know, Renee," he still wasn't convinced.

"I do. Maybe for once you could trust me." She firmly pressed his hand and held it as she asked him to walk upstairs with her. He couldn't say no to her. He couldn't let her down, even when he didn't believe in himself in this particular situation.

"Rebecca," Renee called before entering her room. After letting Rebecca know of their coming inside, she slowly opened the door. She still held Dean's hand and didn't let go even after they joined the girl on the carpet.

Dean noticed something different. Rebecca was once again playing with her dolls, but it was not the soldier that she held in her hand anymore; it was a well-known figure of himself. Where did she get it? Then he looked at Renee, who was smiling; she was probably the happiest out of the three.

"Did you . . .?" he wanted to ask her but wasn't sure if it was okay in the girl's presence.

Noticing Dean looking at the doll, Renee quickly realized what was Dean wondering. "I brought Rebecca a gift. Do you like it?" now she was directing the question to the girl.

She did, even though she didn't say it.

It seemed to Dean as a big step, although he didn't know to which direction, that she put aside the soldier doll and exchanged it for her own Dean Ambrose.

Dean watched it for a while, then said, "It looks nothing like me."

"Well, you know, the original is only one," Renee commented. "But the advantage of Dean the doll is that he's very obedient; he always does what you tell him to do," she joked.

"Walk!" Dean commanded. Of course the figure didn't move. "See, he's not much better than the original." But then Rebecca moved his legs so that he made a step forward. And then one more. Dean smiled. "Okay, you win; he's better than me." It seemed than Rebecca joined the game Dean and Renee were playing; and she was on Renee's side.

Dean wasn't surprised that she preferred Renee; she was nice and caring, sweet, and tried really hard to make Rebecca participate. She didn't know this girl but it was clear she liked her and cared about her. Dean still wondered what she had told her when she came into her room for the first time. It certainly made the girl less depressed and active.

But even Renee's kind behavior didn't help her win over that girl's heart. "Why don't you come down with us and have some ice cream?" Rebecca looked down again and all the enthusiasm was suddenly gone. Happiness from Renee's face disappeared as well.

Seeing that made Dean feel bad for Renee. But she didn't do anything wrong, so why such a change? He looked at the framed photograph Rebecca had on the table. He had seen it already, but he had to see it again. There were only two people in it; Rebecca and her dad. They both were wearing military uniforms, but the picture was clearly taken in a studio. No guns, no remainder of a war. But what caught Dean's attention was not the evident good relationship she had with her father but much colder relationship with her mom. Why otherwise wouldn't she be in the photo? There was another picture on the other side on the table, at the back. That one showed the rest of the family members. Claire and the boy, whose name Dean had forgotten again. Those two were separated. Could it be that Rebecca didn't consider them part of the family? Maybe, Dean thought, maybe Claire wasn't her real mother but a woman her father married, and therefore her step-mother. That would explain the hostility in Rebecca's attitude toward her. Or maybe Dean was wrong. He usually wasn't very good at these assumptions; moreover, he knew very little about this family. But if he was right, Rebecca had every right to feel the way she did. She lost the one person that was close to her and that she loved. Now she felt alienated in her own house because the people she shared it with were strangers to her. Her father, soldier, would no longer return at usual intervals to make her feel at home. Now there was no point in being a fan of wrestling because she knew that the person who supported her in this hobby was gone. She had nobody to go to wrestling events with. It was apparent to Dean that the two people downstairs had no knowledge of wrestling whatsoever; they didn't even recognize him. But the woman about whom Dean was more and more assured was not Rebecca's biological mother did care about Rebecca and was determined to do everything to see her smiling again, even invite her favorite superstar. Dean wondered if Renee knew about this. But he couldn't ask her in the little girl's presence.

"Rebecca," he spoke to her, "how would you like going to a wrestling live event with Renee and me?"

Rebecca looked up at him; Dean couldn't tell what was going on her mind. Then she looked at Renee, who certainly liked that idea. It was easy to see that the girl wanted to say yes but she stuck to her principle of not talking. She nodded though and showed both Dean and Renee her beautiful smile, which they hadn't had chance to see before.

Renee patted her on the top of her head and Rebecca let her. Then Renee whispered something into her ear; something that Rebecca had to like because afterwards she even hugged Renee.

"I won't get a hug?" Dean felt left out.

The girl was unsure. Finally she decided to give Dean a hug; but only to the small version of him.

"Oh, I could almost feel it," he joked. "But I would compare it to a stab in the back."

Renee intervened, "He looks scary, doesn't he?" Rebecca hesitantly nodded. "But he doesn't bite. And I'm pretty sure he's more afraid of you that you're of him."

"Thanks," Dean said sarcastically.

"Go ahead, hug him," she said to the girl. "He likes it, although he won't admit it."

That sufficed for Rebecca to find courage to approach the big guy who often looked scary and unpredictable on the screen. In reality he was different but he still spread a wave of respect around him. But Renee was there to show the real face of Dean Ambrose, guy who could be like a teddy bear sometimes, as right now.

"Here, sweety," Renee told Rebecca and handed her a card with her phone number, "you can call me anytime. Whenever there'll be a problem with your Dean, I can help; I know what works on him," she joked and looked at the life version of Dean Ambrose. She let him took her hand.

"Why do you make me look like a bad guy?" He wasn't really mad at Renee; he saw what she was doing and he knew it worked. She was good, and Dean was glad she was there with him. This could never happen without her.

It was late; Rebecca was usually asleep at this time. She yawned. It was time for them to go. But before leaving Renee gave Rebecca a kiss on her forehead. "Sweet dreams, my little angel." The girl waved at Dean. He waved back.

When they got out of the house, Renee turned to Dean. "It wasn't that bad, was it?"

"Actually, it was kinda nice," he replied. "So what about now? Hotel?"

"You know what? Why don't we go get that beer? I know I'm no Roman or Seth but . . ."

"Sure," he interrupted her. "I'd love that."


	50. Chapter 50

Seth missed Dean as a roommate. Now that Dean and Renee's relationship wasn't a secret, they no longer had a need to hide. It was more convenient to share a room, although for them it wasn't much of a sharing. The times when Dean hurried into the room to be there first and shout "This is my bed!" were but a distant memory. No sneaking around, no telling his roommate to be quiet, or more typically his roommate, let's call him Seth, asking him to shut up. Now Dean could do whatever he wanted, as long as it was what Renee wanted too. And what used to be his only was now also hers. But he didn't mind it that way. It actually felt nice. There didn't seem to be any downsides; Renee wasn't bossy but tolerant, although he still watched his tongue when he was with her. He didn't want to say something inappropriate and get a chance to look for other place to spend the night. Renee never threatened this would happen but Dean was assured it could, even though it hadn't yet. And if he were to be punished for his behavior, he wasn't sure if either of his friends would take him back.

Sometimes Seth found himself wishing Dean would screw up so that Renee would force him out of their bed and he would come knocking on Seth's door in the middle of the night and they could play some games or watch a movie and have awesome time together. And they would get Roman to join too. It would be like the old times. Seth knew that he and Roman could get their share of Dean but it just wasn't the same. They were happy for him but he seemed different. And they missed the old Dean, the one that used to piss them off. He still did, but he seemed to have become more gentle and thoughtful, probably because he spent so much time with Renee. He simply found it too difficult to be different person around his girlfriend and around his buddies, so it all became blurred, the lines separating those two personalities were disappearing and because it was impossible to distinguish what he should be like at certain moment, he was becoming the person he was with Renee. At least that's how it appeared to Seth, and partly to Roman, too.

At the same time, though, it was all suspicious. When did Dean become a boyfriend material? How come he didn't suck at it? And what about all those romantic dates they were hearing about? They rejected that Dean himself would come up with all of that. He had to google it or something. Just a few months ago he was a single guy who liked it that way and who couldn't imagine himself being in a relationship. Now he bragged about how he was a better boyfriend than Seth and Roman combined. First, that was bullshit. Second, there was something fishy about Dean's par excellence behavior toward Renee. Sooner or later Dean would make a mistake, he would eventually screw up because there was no way he could be that good.

When Seth saw Renee that day he asked her what Dean really was like as a boyfriend. They usually kept hearing about this stuff from Dean and it was obvious he made up a lot of what he said. It was expected from him to lie and exaggerate. Maybe he had already screwed up, Seth thought.

"I shouldn't talk about it," Renee hesitated. Yet she wished to tell Seth. If Dean had already told him everything, what was the point of her staying quiet?

"Just tell me, what does your usual date look like? It cannot be all candles, movies, soft music, romantic atmosphere . . . Special places, thoughtful ideas . . .,"he continued naming words Dean often mentioned regarding to how he spent the evening with Renee.

"What do you expect me to say? That none of this ever happened?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yes," Seth exclaimed happily; that was exactly what he wanted to hear.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you but Dean is really good at being a boyfriend; maybe surprisingly great. Sure, it's not all romance but those little things always play an important part."

Seth shook his head. It was difficult to believe; impossible. "Well, Renee, I don't know who you're dating but it's certainly not Dean Ambrose."

"Come on, Seth." Roman appeared out of nowhere. "Give the guy a chance. Plus, I'm sure he's not that perfect anyway, is he, Renee?"

Renee smiled. He was perfect in her eyes. She was able to ignore all his flaws and mistakes he was making. But it was easy to understand why she saw him better than he actually was. "No, he's not perfect," Renee said to both Roman and Seth, but Roman quickly noticed she said it just to satisfy them. There was too much love in her eyes that blinded her and prevented her from seeing what he did wrong or how was it possible he did everything else right. She couldn't be proven wrong.

"It seems to me, Seth, that neither you are perfect," Roman turned to him. "You're not much of a gentleman right now." Then he smiled at Renee. "Let me take it," he said to her who was holding some box. It didn't seem heavy but still. Roman was there to show his good manners and point out Seth's lack of them. At the moment.

"What is it anyway?" Roman was curious. It was a regular brown carton box, closed, so that he had no idea what was inside.

"I don't know. This package came for Dean. There's no name or address on it."

"Maybe some fan mail," Seth guessed.

"Mail? More like a gift."

"Why would he receive something? I didn't get anything for my birthday."

"Neither did I," Roman admitted, but it didn't bother him as much as Seth.

"And it's not even his birthday."

"Maybe it's something he ordered," Renee said. "It doesn't have to be from someone else. But it doesn't really matter, does it?" She tried to get the box back from Roman since she realized those two were too curious and there was a chance they would open it themselves. At least Seth seemed tempted to look inside.

"There has to be a name somewhere." Roman turned it upside down to look at the bottom as well as at the sides.

"Careful," Renee finally managed to get it away from him. "It says fragile."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Dean hasn't ordered a glass chess set."

"That's not important. I'm responsible for safely delivering this package to him," Renee said professionally.

"Or," Seth got enthusiastic, "you open it and we see what's inside."

"I can't open it. It's not mine."

"But you're his girlfriend. What's yours is his and what's his is yours, right?" Seth tried to persuade her.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Seth, but that's marriage. As Dean's girlfriend, I don't have right to open his mail behind his back." Renee wasn't even that interested in knowing what was inside as Seth. "And even if I had that permission, I wouldn't do it."

"Come on, I'm sure he wouldn't get angry at you."

"Would you be okay with your girlfriend opening your mail?" she counterattacked.

"There's no would. She does open my mail," Seth let her know.

"And you don't mind?"

"I have nothing to hide."

With Seth indirectly implying Dean could possibly hide something from Renee, Roman intervened. "Don't push her, Seth."

"Fine," he finally gave up.

Renee thanked Roman but soon she realized this wasn't over. She went to look for Dean to give him the box but she wasn't alone.

"Seriously? You're following me?"

"We wanna know," Seth replied in a sweet, innocent voice of a child.

Renee sighed. There was no way she could get rid of them. But she didn't make it her problem. When she found Dean, she handed him the package and with that Roman and mostly Seth switched their attention from her to him. Renee didn't plan to stay; she had better things to do. She wasn't that curious either. She didn't ask Dean what was inside; she was sure he would tell her eventually. Did he know what was inside? She couldn't tell.

As soon as Renee left, Dean laid it on the table. "Aren't you gonna open it?" asked Seth. Dean grabbed a bottle of energy drink and sat down. Seth stayed beside the box.

"Nope."

Roman laughed. Although he wondered what was inside the box, it was fun to watch how Seth would deal with his curiosity.

Seth was annoyed by Dean's lack of interest. "Come on," Seth begged.

"Go ahead," Dean told him, "open it." Seth was surprised by that course of action. He was happy but suspicious. "I dare you," Dean added and that made Seth step back. Could there be a bomb or something? Did Dean know who it was from and what the box contained?

They waited. Seth carefully watched Dean and tried to predict the moment Dean would finally open the box and satisfy his curiosity. But nothing seemed to imply that would happen. Dean just casually sat there, then started talking to Roman, pretending there was nothing more important to do.

Then Dean's phone, lying on the table in front of him, started to ring. Dean didn't even look up. He was reading something in the newspaper. So was Seth, but he couldn't not notice. "Your phone's ringing," Seth remarked. He tried to ignore it at first, but he couldn't focus on the article he was reading, which was supposed to distract him from never-ending waiting. And that sound was getting annoying. How could Dean pretend he didn't hear it? If he didn't want to talk to the person for whatever reason, he could just reject the call, or mute the phone if he didn't want to make it apparent that he had no interest in talking with the said person.

It took two more rings, and then there was silence again. "It's not anymore," Dean uttered. But soon after he said that sentence, it started ringing again. Dean and Seth looked at each other in utter silence.

"For Christ's sake, just pick it up," Roman finally intervened and even reached for the phone to solve the problem himself.

Dean was faster. He grabbed the phone, looked at Roman and Seth as if asking what the hell they were angry about, and finally picked it up.

For a while he listened, afterwards he said, "I thought so." He smiled. Then he fell silent again, occasionally nodded or laughed, then ended it with "I'll let you know." It wasn't a long call. And Dean said too little to make it possible for Seth or Roman to know to whom he was talking and what the conversation was about.

But now Dean approached the box. He looked at it carefully from every side and finally picked it up. Seth's inquisitiveness had risen again but all he could see was Dean's back.

"Hey, Dean," Roman called at him, which distracted him. Seth furiously looked at Roman who laughed at Seth's suffering.

"Yep?"

"How would you like playing some paintball later today?"

"Sure, that's a good idea. Oh, hey, you know what would be really cool? If we wore our ring gear." Dean's been wondering what it would be like for a while. He wished to do it someday.

"God, that would be sweet," Roman replied. "It's impossible but ahh . . . I wish we could do that."

Even Seth liked that crazy idea. "Guys, does any of you still have the mask?"

"Of course," Dean said smiling. "I always take it out for special occasions." It wasn't difficult to figure out what these occasions were.

"If we could just walk out there in our Shield gear, owning the place, that'd be great," Roman dreamed, returning to the paintball topic. "With the masks on."

"We wouldn't even need to take the guns out; everybody would surrender," Seth said.

Then Dean said, killing the atmosphere, "That would make great porn."

"Dude," Roman exclaimed. "Let's keep it clean, all right?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders.

"Anyhow, the box?" Seth reminded him of the package, which was waiting to be opened.

Dean looked at it and bit his lip. He seemed nervous. Maybe a little scared. But he finally took the knife to cut the tape. Then he put the knife aside and opened it.

The moment he looked inside Dean screamed terrified. "Fuuuck!" he exclaimed, jumping away from the "gift." Reflexively he placed his hands on his mouth, breathing heavily. He was in a shock. He couldn't believe what he just saw, but he didn't dare to double check. Seth jumped out of his seat and Roman too stopped what he was doing to see what scared Dean to death. They couldn't remember when was the last time they saw Dean react that way, if ever.

"You're all right?" Roman asked worried. Dean didn't respond. He wasn't able to speak. "Dean?" What the hell happened to him, Roman wondered.

Seth made an unsure step closer to him. "What's in the box?"

Finally Dean looked at him. It took no longer than few seconds. Then the look of panic changed into smile which was followed by bursting into laughter. Roman glanced at Seth. Did he just go crazy, they both thought. They couldn't understand what they had witnessed.

"Genius," laughed Dean, now in surprisingly euphoric mood. "Damn!"

"Seriously, what the hell, dude? You're creepy."

"No." Dean shook his head. "That," he pointed at the box, "is creepy." He sighed relieved. Although it had almost made him physically sick, he wanted to see it again. This time, though, he knew what to expect, therefore he could handle it. He kept smiling and his smile even widened when he looked inside the box one more time. "Fucking amazing. I would have never seen this coming," he spoke, probably not to his mates anymore. He picked up some piece of paper; then put it back again. "That's brilliant." With that he took his phone and turned to walk away. Before leaving the room, he addressed Roman and Seth, "Check it out. That's how you make someone shit their pants," he laughed. "Also, don't let Renee see it. That would give her a heart attack." Still laughing, he opened the door and slammed it after he went out.

"Do you volunteer?" Seth turned to Roman hoping he would have more courage to look at it. It was hard to find courage after they saw Dean's reaction; and Dean was usually okay with weird stuff. How bad it could be? Pretty bad, Seth guessed. Seth bit his lip. Roman made the first step. He took a deep breath and with his eyes closed walked toward the box at the back of the room. It was placed on a small table, and it was still open. Roman stopped just in time to avoid bumping into the table. When he opened his eyes to see the object of their interest, he shouted, "What the fuck?" He handled that look a little better than Dean; for one thing it didn't concern him. Seth came running; he would never feel ready to face his fear of looking inside the box. So he just looked, unprepared. He immediately closed his eyes. "That is sick," Roman said. Seth was speechless. Neither of them was ready to take it as a joke, as Dean did. This was just gross to them. It made no sense. Why, they asked themselves. Seth thought the person that sent this to Dean had to despise him. Why otherwise would they put a fake plastic life-size head, apparently a copy of Dean's, inside a box? It wasn't funny in the movie Se7en and it wasn't fun now. That was psycho. Seth picked up the piece of paper Dean had read and then placed it back in the box. It read "Your turn, Ambrose."


	51. Chapter 51

"Dean. Dean! What the hell was that?"

"A very thoughtful present I'd say," he replied calmly. His mood and the attitude toward this were in total opposition with Seth's. Although this didn't actually concern him, he couldn't live peacefully with the situation he had witnessed. And that present . . . Present?! In what universe even could that devil's box be considered a present?

"You're not worried at all?" Roman asked. He wasn't as enraged as Seth, but neither he was happy about this. He tried it look at it logically. "Don't you think it might be a threat? You might be in danger, Dean," he warned him. Roman tended to be rational; and the conclusion he came to wasn't very positive.

"In danger? Please," he replied skeptically. "This was a joke, definitely not a threat."

"Well, it wasn't funny."

"I laughed."

"How can you be so calm?" Seth asked; he himself was far from being calm.

"Because I know the person who sent it."

Roman smiled but was little amused. He shook his head. "So this person thinks giving people heart attack is funny? Congrats, buddy, I think you've found your match."

"Haha," Dean faked a laugh. Then he got more serious. "This was meant to be seen by me only. It's your fault that you couldn't resist and looked inside. Moreover, it's not like you saw yourself in there so it wasn't that scary for you two."

"But why? Why? Why? Why?" Seth still couldn't understand the reason behind sending it in the first place.

"It was a bet. I lost; therefore this was my punishment."

"Oh, Dean, I think it's time for you to reconsider your decisions on who you hang out with."

Dean left it without a response. Those two didn't know what they were talking about. Sure, he could understand why they didn't consider the situation funny, but he did. He knew this wasn't any threat or a warning; it was simply a joke that went maybe a little too far. But if there was somebody who could object, who had the right to have something against it, it was him; but he was totally okay with it. He got used to this kind of humor; and the person who sent him the package knew he wouldn't see it as crossing some invisible line and ruining their friendship.

"Did you leave it there?" asked Dean abruptly after a while of silence.

"Yeah. But the box is closed; and there's your name on it so I don't think anyone's gonna touch it."

"Good." He really didn't want someone else to come to him and complain about how inappropriate it was. Maybe if it was Halloween people would find it funny; creepy but amusing. In June, that couldn't happen. Dean also wished that debate would be over. "Now can we please change the subject?"

* * *

><p>"That was it; I brought about my own downfall. With that stupid suggestion."<p>

"I doubt that."

"I did. That was the last time everything was fine and the future was bright."

"Don't try to be poetic."

"From that moment on, it would get only worse. Actually, that moment was yet to come, but the clock on the bomb was already ticking. The good times were over. Happiness was replaced with worrying, knowing that what I had built in those few weeks would fall apart."

"You're creeping me out. Stop being so sentimental. Be yourself; don't be this whining person. Dean Ambrose, the one I know, doesn't surrender and he doesn't admit his fault."

"Well, I guess this is what I've become. This is what you've made me."

"Bullshit. Come on, say what you really think. I know that somewhere deep inside you want to put the blame on me. Do it! I don't mind. I was the one who sent you the box, the catalyst of what came later."

"Do you want me to be angry at you?"

"Sure. Whatever helps you. I don't want to see you sad. I know that you're worried, but there's no point in hurting yourself by thinking what you've wrong. And remember that this is where we don't take life seriously."

"I can't just let it go. Tell me, what should I do?"

"You know my opinion. But you also know that I don't want to say it and you don't want to hear it. The best you can do right now is shut up, stop thinking about you screwing up, and keep running. Loser pays tonight."

But Dean still couldn't take his mind of that simple, stupid mistake that had changed everything.

* * *

><p>"Do you have any plans with Renee tomorrow night?"<p>

"Whoa, you think we can get him two nights in a row?" Seth joked. He seemed to have welcomed the end of the previous conversation, the meaning of which he still didn't quite get, and he was assured he never would. But he wanted to let it go; and let go of that image of the head inside the box. The shivers once again ran through his body when he thought of it. Stop thinking about it, stop imagining it, he kept telling himself.

"Stop acting like I've lost my free will when I entered a serious relationship."

"So is it okay when you hang out with us?" Roman asked, anticipating Dean's confused answer. He could see Dean hadn't talked with Renee about it yet. But on the other hand, he didn't want to show hesitation which could make Roman and Seth think he wasn't allowed to make any decisions without agreement or at least discussion with his girlfriend.

Dean realized what Roman just did and how he cornered him. But to avoid looking weak he said bravely, "I can do something with you, guys."

"Isn't doing something behind Renee's back going to get you into trouble?" Seth asked.

"I can do whatever I want. But this attitude right here is what can make me question whether I want to do anything with you two at all. So tell me what you have in mind before I change my mind," he advised them.

"Let's go watch a movie. I haven't been in a theater for ages."

"We went there together last month; have you forgotten?" Seth reminded Roman.

"That seems like forever ago. We could go watch something."

"Do you have anything specific in mind?"

Dean was willing to let them decide what they would go see. It didn't matter to him; as long as it wasn't something cheesy or a total bullshit. But he trusted their opinion on movies and he was sure he would like what they would choose. So he just stood there, listened to them argue over unimportant issues which he didn't give a damn about. Sometimes he nodded or shook his head, shrugged his shoulders or raised his eyebrow to make them reconsider their choice; at times he even laughed at what movie they suggested. Finally he found himself lost in his thoughts; their conversation bore him.

"I think we lost him," Seth spoke. Both Seth and Roman were watching him while he was unaware of them looking at him; he was unaware even of their presence.

"Let's decide what we're gonna see now so that he cannot get a vote."

"Nah, that's a wasted opportunity," Roman disagreed. Then told Seth, "Follow my lead." He stepped to Dean's left side; Seth was on the opposite side, not knowing what Roman's plan was yet. Soon he realized. Roman winked at Seth. "One . . . two . . . three." From where they were standing they blew into Dean's ears who in reaction shivered and put his hands on his ears. Roman and Seth burst into laughing. They got his attention now.

"Jerks!"

"Were you dreaming about your princess that the dragon keeps in the tower and how you're gonna save her?" Seth provoked him.

"Idiot." He tried to hit him but Seth moved aside reflexively.

"Guys, guys," Roman tried to lessen the atmosphere which he caused. "Let's just decide, okay? I don't have whole day for this." Neither did Dean and Seth so they stopped squabbling and ended it with a hateful look, which was so frequent in their disputes.

"Just pick something," Seth suggested. "I always like your choices."

"What about my choices?" Dean started the quarrel again.

"Meh."

Roman sensed the immediacy of another fight and wanted to prevent it. He could swear those two were like little children; never agreeing on anything and looking for smallest reason to start a fight. Roman always tried to be impartial but he couldn't help but support Seth, simply because Seth was usually more logical. Dean . . . well, Dean was Dean. Roman was sure that what Dean said sometimes couldn't even make sense to him. But he was still willing to fight for it.

"Hey ref," Dean called at Roman, "what do they even play?" Now that was a good question. Roman had no idea. He looked at Seth; he shrugged his shoulders. Dean smiled viciously. "So I guess we're gonna watch 22 Jump Street."

"Nah," Roman had to let him down, "that comes out on 6th."

"Dammit!" Dean went back to thinking. He had to think of something. But he was too slow.

"X-Men," Seth shouted triumphantly, knowing he won this little battle.

"Pff, I've already seen it with Cassie." Then Dean's eyes opened widely. Oh shit, he thought to himself.

"We'll find something else then," Roman said; he hadn't noticed anything. Unlike Seth.

"Cassie as in your ex-girlfriend Cassie?"

Dean stayed quiet. He knew everything he'd say could be used against him.

"That movie opened what two weeks ago?" Seth spoke with detective undertone. "Are you still seeing her?" he asked directly. Silence sufficed as an affirmation of Dean's guilt.


	52. Chapter 52

"Is it true? Dean? Do you still keep in touch with your ex-girlfriend?"

Dean sighed heavily. He refused to make an eye contact with either of his friends. Although now they resembled enemies more. He couldn't hope to get them to support him. They were without doubt against him. This was a hearing with him as a suspect. Roman and Seth were the ones asking questions and accusing him of whatever crime they thought he committed. Hopeless situation. Now there was no escape. Dean had to admit the truth. He kept hiding it for too long; it could no longer stay a secret. The hateful, judging look on Seth's face made that clear. But if Dean was to have that conversation, he required privacy. Because even though two people had found out about his sneaky actions, there were others, especially one certain person, that still had no idea and Dean wished for it to stay that way.

Dean checked if nobody was near; he closed the door and locked it. Then he returned to Roman and Seth, knowing the peaceful times were over. They expected nothing less than full surrender.

"Yes," Dean finally admitted. He didn't feel very talkative. Neither was he looking forward for what was to come. Those two certainly wouldn't look at him as at a victim.

"Does Renee know?" Roman asked.

The answer was pretty obvious. "No." Seth shook his head in disbelief. Dean added, "And I'd appreciate if it stayed that way."

"You cannot keep it from her." Seth's comment was left unnoticed.

"How long has this been going on?" Roman wanted to know.

"How long has this been going on?" Dean repeated, then looked at Roman, who asked the question, and Seth, who wasn't very supportive either. Dean felt he needed to make something clear. "I'm not cheating on Renee." It seemed to him that Roman and Seth, especially Seth who seemed to have locked their friendship deep inside so as to not let it affect his judgment, were accusing him of not being entirely faithful to his girlfriend. That was bullshit, and Dean couldn't accept that accusation.

"I knew sooner or later you would screw up," Seth said victoriously. But there was really nothing to be happy about. The relationship of his friends was in jeopardy. Maybe Seth didn't realize it. He was too enthusiastic about seeing that Dean wasn't in fact as perfect as it initially appeared. Now it was clear that there were things Renee had no idea about. Seth waited for the moment Dean would finally do something wrong; he couldn't know he was never that good and that in reality Dean had been secretly screwing up ever since he started going out with Renee. Seth supposed Dean hadn't stopped being in touch with Cassie after they broke up. He believed there was not a single day when they were really apart. Seth didn't think of an option that he might be wrong and that maybe Dean and Cassie stopped contacting each other for some time when they weren't together anymore. It could have been a coincidence that they became friends afterwards. Maybe a mistake when they dialed the other person's phone number. For Seth, this wasn't what happened. And if Dean didn't actually cheat on Renee in an orthodox kind of way, he was unfaithful to her just by keeping this, in Seth's eyes huge, secret from her.

"How did this even happen?" wondered Roman. "And when do you . . . how do you meet? Doesn't she live in a different state?"

"Oh, wait." Seth knew suddenly too much. He had information that he could use now. Everything that Dean had told him while he was still in a relationship with Cassie and when it was clear they wouldn't make it came now to a good use. It made perfect sense. "She got a job offer in Vegas," he remembered what Dean told him months ago. "I never thought of a possibility that she could have actually taken it."

"Does she live in Vegas?"

"That day we broke up," Dean explained, "after we broke she asked me if I didn't mind if she took that job anyway."

"And you said you wouldn't," Seth predicted. It was an accusation. He was right, though.

"What was I supposed to say? I couldn't forbid her to move there. She wasn't my girlfriend anymore; even if she was, I didn't have right to tell her what to do. Of course I said I wouldn't mind. Las Vegas is big anyway; I realized we wouldn't even probably ever meet."

"Yet you do."

"Yes, we do ," he repeated sarcastically. "So what? It's no big deal anyway."

Seth smiled; he wasn't amused, though. "Not a big deal? You hang out with your ex, for crying out loud! How can you pretend it is okay?"

Dean saw what Seth's problem was. "You don't trust me. You think I'll end up in bed with her."

"Is it so unbelievable to think it might eventually happen? If it hasn't yet," he added quietly but intentionally, "I know you, Dean."

"Well, but this is not about you and or your lack of trusting me."

"I'm being a friend her," Seth tried to assure him but what he was saying was quite contradictory. "You two have a history together. Can you, please, realize that? Let's say you have been able until now to let go of all the memories of you being a couple. But you cannot confidently say it won't change in the future and that there won't be a time when you'll look for something more than a friend in her. This is dangerous, Dean. It cannot end well. And what about her? Do you know what her intentions are? She may see this as a way of getting back together with you."

"We broke up. We're not getting back together. I'm with Renee now, and she knows it."

"Can you take this seriously?" Seth was sure he didn't. At least not enough.

"Why? This is not a serious issue. I don't get why you make such a big deal out of it. I know what I'm doing and I'm aware of possible consequences. But there won't be any. I got this under control. Cassie and I are friends, nothing more. What happened happened; why should our dating history affect us? Why should it prevent us from hanging out?" Seth didn't answer him but Dean didn't even get him chance to say anything. "This is my life, Seth. I know what I'm doing so, please, just leave it. This has nothing to do with you. It's my problem. Hell, it's not even a problem. It's just something you don't like. It bothers you, not me."

"You really don't see any problem with it?" Roman asked now. Judging from what Dean told them, he really didn't. He knew it wasn't clever of him mentioning that he still hanged out with Cassie, but now that it was out, he was willing to stood behind his decisions and not even slightly hesitate about it being a right choice.

"No," Dean said. He was confident; he didn't waver. But this conversation was tiring him as well as boring him. He felt if it was to go on for longer, he would end up repeating himself. He didn't like repeating himself. He stood behind what he said and wouldn't change his mind. This compulsory talk wasn't pleasant, either; and he knew that no matter what he'd say, Roman and especially Seth would never agree with him nor accept his opinion. It seemed to him that they took him for a child who was unable to make right decisions and needed to be advised by someone superior, some guardian, who knew more about it. But in fact, in this case, they didn't know anything. They were judging him but in reality they knew so little that almost everything they said could be considered irrelevant. And it didn't really concern them either. They cared about Dean, one had to give them that, but that didn't authorize them to criticize his decisions.

Dean wished to leave. He unlocked the door, but Seth wasn't finished with him yet. "What would Renee think about it?" This was the only thing that Dean cared about, that really mattered to him regarding this whole "issue." He didn't want to hurt her; she didn't deserve it. Right now she was happy; she was deeply in love with him and discarded all the minor mistakes he had made. But he knew that seeing his ex-girlfriend and not mentioning it once to his current girlfriend wouldn't be considered a minor error; it would be a real threat to her trusting him. "How do you think she'll feel when she finds out?"

"She won't find out."

"Dean, you cannot keep this a secret from her. She's your girlfriend; she ought to know."

"No. Look, Seth, I realize how terrible knowing about it would make her feel. That's why I _need___to hide it from her. Do you understand?"

"Roman," Seth searched for support in his friend, "Tell him that he has to confess this to her."

Roman thought a while. He looked extraordinarily serious. He knew this _was_ a big deal, no matter what Dean said. But he didn't want to say the first thing that was on his mind, like Seth most of the time did. Roman would come with an opinion and advice, but these would be thought through. His friends looked at him as at an authority for a reason; it wasn't because he was older or naturally wiser; he wasn't spontaneous, he always considered objectively what the best decision would be. He always tried to help. Give advice, not order was his policy. And Seth and Dean respected him even when they didn't like what he told them to do; he still had a point. Most of the time. This was yet another situation when they looked up to him to solve their dispute. They needed their big brother.

"I have to agree with Dean on this one," Roman said. Now that was something Seth didn't thought would happen. Roman used to favor Seth; and Seth believed he was right in this situation, so why Roman chose to support Dean?

"Thank you," Dean replied happily. That happiness was short-lived, though.

"Renee doesn't need to know; she shouldn't know. We all know how she would take it and that she would drastically change her opinion on Dean as a boyfriend." That made sense. Not telling Renee would prevent her possible breaking up with Dean. None of them wanted that to happen. "And there's really no need for her to find out; ever. Let just Dean deal with this situation, and that'll be it."

"Deal with it?" Dean didn't quite understand what Roman was trying to say.

"Stop seeing Cassie. Seth and I can promise you right now that we'll never speak of this in front of Renee. Everything will get back to normal."

"I'm not gonna stop seeing her," Dean assured them. He was surprised Roman and Seth would take it for granted. He had never mentioned he intended to never see her again. All that he had said was targeted at proving that there was no danger in hanging out with her although she was his ex-girlfriend. Where did they get that he even would be willing to lose her? She was his friend; he wouldn't get rid of her just because they used to date. That seemed unfair. It wasn't what he wanted, either. Dean wished to save his relationship with Renee, but Cassie had to stay.

"But, Dean . . ."

"No," he shouted. Just the thought of them wanting this from him angered him. It was his decision. They couldn't tell him what to do.


	53. Chapter 53

It was still dark outside. Dean had no idea what time it was, but he was sure that Renee would be sleeping. What he wanted to do was to silently sneak into the room without waking her. His eyes were trying to persuade him that he was indeed tired, but he knew if he lay in bed he wouldn't fall asleep. His mind wouldn't let him. Everything was coming back to him. These feelings were stirring up and causing his desire to be gone, to be far away from all the problems. He had a lot of time to think about it all, though. Now he realized what was really going on and to what a disaster he was heading. Could it be averted or was it too late? In the previous few hours he came to some conclusions, but his mind, or maybe conscience, he laughed, wouldn't be satisfied. There was one certain thing he could do, that he probably should do, but he didn't like it. He had to come with up something else. Not now, though. He needed a rest; he had thought about what he had done for too long. Yet still something was forcing him to keep thinking about what was happening around him, with him being the one whose finger was on the trigger, while he walked through the hallway. He was quickly approaching his room. The halls were silent. Everything was strangely quiet. It was scary. He wished to hear some music or people talking instead of those voices inside his head. He knew he screwed up; he didn't need to be reminded of that.

The tour was over. He was standing in front of the door, holding the card in his hand. He held the handle and slowly opened the door, as silently as possible. Renee kept sleeping. Dean smiled when he saw her lying in bed, covered with a blanket, her hair spread over the pillow. The curtains were closed but there was enough light for him to not trip over something. He went across the room. When he stood beside the bed, he took off his clothes and put it on the chair in the corner. He yawned; finally the signs of weariness came. Dean lay down in bed next to Renee. It wasn't cold for him, not really, but in order to feel Renee close to him, as close as possible, he got under the blanket. Being close to her was something he really needed right now. He had to feel her. He put his arm over hers and stroked it. He was really gentle but she woke up anyway. She turned around to look at him. Her eyes were protesting; they kept closing down.

"Where have you been?"

"I went for a walk." He didn't feel like explaining. Even if he tried to explain it to her, she wouldn't understand.

There was something unusual about the way he said it. Renee was tired, but that was unimportant to her now, she could still notice something strange about him. She took a good look at Dean. He looked exhausted, but in a different way. It wasn't that it was night, or early morning, and that he was naturally tired. He seemed upset. She usually couldn't see this emotion on his face; whenever he felt sad or something, he hid it from her. Now he seemed to be tired of hiding. He could no longer keep it to himself. Renee worried about him. He really did look hopeless.

"What's the matter?" she asked. She looked at the clock. It was almost five in the morning. Why would he get up in the middle of the night to go for a walk? He never did that. Or . . . could it be that he just arrived and that he spent the night somewhere else? Renee couldn't tell; she went to bed after midnight. At that time, Dean wasn't in the room. She slept through the night. She woke just now; she had no idea if Dean was there with her the whole time or not. But she didn't want to ask him; he wasn't in the mood.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep." He smiled at her to let her know it wasn't a lie, but it was clear to her that he was frowning inside.

Renee stroked his cheek. She couldn't watch him being so sad and not do anything about it. The sadness was transferring onto her. "Dean," she begged her to open up to her. "What happened?"

"Everything's fine," he lied. He kissed her softly on the lips to show he meant it. He felt bad lying to her again, but this was a white lie; most of them were. He didn't want to hurt her. What would happen if he told her the truth? Everything that he had kept from her? His mind was coming up with various scenarios; none of them was positive; all were unacceptable. Dean insisted that there had to be a good ending to it; at least that possibility had to exist. But his idiotic brain refused that option. No, this is not going to end well for you, Dean.

Renee hated seeing Dean upset. She made herself a promise to cheer him up; otherwise she couldn't return to sleeping. Usually smiling at him helped. But not now. Most of the time when she smiled, he had to smile too. In that case, for every action there really was an equal and opposite reaction. That was how it worked for them. Now that rule failed. She smiled; but he couldn't. If it wasn't him, Renee would swear that the person she was looking at would start crying; that's how desperate he looked. But Dean would never show that emotion in front of her. He kept strong on the surface, even when he was broken inside. Renee tried the opposite strategy. She frowned. Sometimes when you frown and you're not really sad or anything, the person seeing you starts smiling; he or she cannot help it. Dean could resist this, too. He seemed to be immune to anything his girlfriend tried in order to make him smile.

"Why don't you tell me what's bothering you?"

At one point, it almost looked like Dean would tell Renee what was wrong with him. But he didn't. Renee could continue trying, but once Dean made a decision he wouldn't change it. At least not because of something she would do. She surrendered. "All right. You don't have to say anything." She meant it, too. But although she accepted his oath of silence, she had to cheer him up. She simply had to. It wasn't something she was obliged to do just because she was his girlfriend. Or maybe it was one of the reasons; but this wasn't the main reason why she couldn't let it go and go back to sleeping. She couldn't accept his sadness. When he was hurt, she was hurt too. And she couldn't physically stand seeing him in pain. She felt cold, shivering, surrounded, and lonesome. She imagined that was how Dean felt. She took his hand and held it. She made him look at her. The little lamp on the nightstand was on, so it wasn't too dark for them to see each other. She stared into his eyes; it was difficult to look away despite the hurt in his eyes. Maybe that was the reason. That hurt was attractive; not in a usual way, though. Maybe hypnotic would be a better word to explain what effect it had on her. But she didn't let that distract her from what she ought to do.

She pressed his hand, then suddenly let go. Her hand moved alongside his waist up until it found its place in his hair. It was messy, somewhat wet; was it raining outside? The rest of his head was dry. She played with his ear for a while and then she got more interested in his lips. He accepted her finger and let it little bit inside his mouth; she wanted him to be playful. She could feel his tongue, but it was passive. She wanted to kiss him, but she bit his lip instead. Not too harshly. He probably wouldn't mind if she hurt him a little; he was never against some physical pain. But that was never an option for her. She knew she could, but she never would. She closed his eyes. It wasn't time for sleep, though. He wasn't that tired anyway. In fact, he was, but he wouldn't allow himself lose his consciousness. Suddenly he felt a trace of her saliva on his eye lids. His ears received more of it. Then it was over. He felt nothing. For few seconds he thought the game was over and that she maybe decided to leave it. It was late, or early, and the time would be probably better spent with sleeping. Was that what she had realized? Probably not. Certainly not. The pause was over and it became more intense now. Renee seemed to let go of no-pain policy because now she was biting Dean's nipples. He couldn't ignore that. Without separating her lips from his skin, Renee reached for the light switch and turned it off. Dean took her hair into his hands and passively tried to show her she didn't have to do this. It was clear to him that she wanted to cheer him up, but it wasn't necessary. Still, even though Dean held her head, he couldn't control its movement. His head kept telling him it would be better to stop her but his body protested. It liked what she was doing. How she was licking his torso, how she marked his bellybutton with her wet tongue. That look that she gave him to let him know what would come next. She didn't ask for permission. She wetted her lips and targeted the object that was about to receive her kindness.

"Do you want me to stop?" she asked teasingly.

"No," Dean gasped. He liked what she was doing there. He liked it so much that for a moment he forgot about his feeling of guilt and all the confusion that kept him awake earlier. Now all of that was secondary. He even guided Renee as to what to do. She could do well even without his assistance, though. She knew what she was doing down there.


	54. Chapter 54

Renee woke up an hour or so later. Then she couldn't go back to sleep and she didn't really want to, either. She looked to her left. Dean was still asleep. That episode from an hour earlier seemed like a dream but she knew it happened. She remembered everything. It seemed distant but she could recall every single detail. At least she saw him smile at the very end. But she couldn't let go of that sad face from earlier. She had to think about what was bothering him. If only he told her. Maybe later he would, she wished, she hoped, but he probably wouldn't tell her what the matter was.

She sat up on the bed. The sun was coming up. She couldn't really see it, only through this little gap between the two curtains. When she stood up, she went to the window and moved the curtain aside to see the outside. She then opened the window and could feel the light breeze coming in, which was really nice. She still held the curtain in her hand because she planned to close it again so that the light wouldn't wake Dean up. He was pretty tired and needed some decent sleep time. Renee watched people walking down the street; they were in a hurry. That view had calming effect on her because she knew she had enough time to chill. She was all packed and ready for the travel. All that was left to do was to take a shower, get dressed, and get some breakfast. They didn't need to check out of the hotel until ten but they had to leave earlier. Still, it was okay for Dean to sleep for another hour.

At seven, he was still sleeping. Renee had already let the sun come in, thinking that maybe it would wake him naturally. She was sitting on the chair with the legs up, reading a newspaper. She got it from the shop downstairs. She also called the room service and ordered breakfast; there were eggs, toasts, oatmeal on the table. The coffee was still hot but Renee took only small sips so that she wouldn't burn her tongue.

It was so quiet that she could hear the silent knock on the door the first time. It was Roman. He was asking for Dean. Renee let him know that Dean was still sleeping.

"You got him really tired last night," she said.

"Who? Me?"

"Yeah, you and Seth. When did you come back to the hotel anyway?"

"Dean wasn't with us. I though you knew."

"He wasn't?" Renee was confused. From what she heard, Dean was supposed to spend the evening and part of the night with Roman and Seth doing . . . well, something. She couldn't remember. She was surprised to hear those plans didn't happen.

"He was supposed to come with us, but he didn't."

Renee wanted to hear about it, it was all new information to her, but she didn't want Dean to hear them so she left the room. She stood outside waiting for Roman to continue talking.

"What happened?" she asked when he didn't explain it by himself. "Why didn't he go with you two?"

"Dean and Seth got into a fight yesterday."

"What?! Why?" Roman didn't answer her question; he couldn't tell her. "Oh," Renee exclaimed, "That's why Dean was so upset."

"I don't think that's the reason," Roman admitted. He said it quietly, though, not making it sound important because he didn't want Renee to dwell on it. "He was upset?" he asked to take her attention away from it.

"Yeah. I've never seen him like that before. He was really sad; but I couldn't tell why. And he didn't want to tell me anything. He kept saying that nothing was going on, but I knew that he was struggling. I just wished I could help him somehow. If only he told me what was bothering him, maybe I would be able to help him find a solution to his problem."

"He didn't say anything, huh?"

"No, not a single word. Do you have any idea what could be the matter?" Roman pretended to be thinking but didn't give her an answer. "I mean, what was his fight with Seth about?" Renee asked.

"I'm not quite sure, I wasn't there." This wasn't a lie. "But you know how Dean can be pretty hotheaded. And Seth as well. When he thinks he's right, he'll fight for what he believes. I've already listened to Seth's version but I'm pretty sure Dean's would be different. Actually, that's the reason I came here; I want to talk to Dean about it."

"Oh, that would be great, thanks. I hope he'll listen to you; I know he will. Please, try to solve this; I'm helpless here. I don't know what's going on. I would so love to help, but I don't know how."

Roman felt bad for Renee. She seemed to be really desperate, just as Dean was. "I'll do what I can," he promised her. He wished he could tell her what was going on, the whole thing with Cassie, but he couldn't. He really couldn't. And he knew that if he did, it would do more harm than good. "Listen, Renee, could you tell Dean to meet me in about half an hour? I mean, if he wakes up by then."

"Sure. But where?"

Roman thought. That conversation would require privacy. It was funny, in a way, that for all of the recent conversations that he had there couldn't be any people around. God, that felt serious. It was, too. How different their professional and private lives were. In the ring, it was made to look really life-like and tense and all. But it wasn't like that; it was just a show. Those "fights" or exchanges of opinions were the ones they enjoyed. Then they went to the backstage, to their hotels, or home, and suddenly they could no longer pretend. That part of their lives was real. It was great and a lot of fun but there were problems, too. And for those moments they never got a script, they were never told what to do, what the goal was; they had to figure it out by themselves. God, that sucked. Roman was just glad he wasn't the one with these problems right now. He felt bad for Dean. He felt bad for Renee. In a way, he also felt bad for Cassie. He didn't know her, he never met her, but Roman was sure she wasn't a bad girl and she was a victim too, caught in this wicked game.

"Send him . . . send him to the lobby downstairs."

"I will," she said.

She returned to the room. Dean was awake. "Who was that?"

"Roman. He wants to talk to you." Dean sighed. He wasn't too happy to hear this. It was the same old to him. Talk, talk, talk. That's what they always wanted him to do. Talk to me. Talk to Renee about this. Just tell every damn soul what's wrong with you. He was sick of it. Like talking could solve anything. It couldn't. It only made things worse. For one thing, if he didn't talk, if he didn't blurt about Cassie, in the first place, he wouldn't be in this trouble. And he knew the more he would say, the more shit he would be in. He was positive about that.

"I'll take a shower and go find him," he said, despite his resentment. There was no other way after all. What it mattered what he thought. He was the bad guy here and he needed to be taught a lesson or two. At least it would be Roman who would do the execution; that was the only thing he was glad about.

When he took a shower, he went back to the bedroom, with only a towel on. He found Renee looking for something in her purse, which she had laid on the bed. He approached her from behind and without her noticing him he wrapped his arms around her. She straightened up immediately. He leaned to her and whispered into her ear, "I'm so sorry." His voice was quite weak. "Thank you for what you're doing for me. I don't know what I'd without you." His voice broke at the end. "I don't want to lose you," he sobbed. He then kissed her neck and her right shoulder. Renee looked behind her shoulder, but couldn't really see him. And he wouldn't let her turn around and see his sad face. His wasn't really sad; for one thing, he was much better than at night; but he still didn't want her to look at him.

He finally loosened the grip and then walked away. Renee couldn't return to what she was doing before he interrupted her; she forgot. She thought about him. Now that he was on the other side of the room, getting dressed, he didn't seem to worry at all. There was no hopeless emotion on his face. It was all as if the situation from a minute ago never happened. That got her confused. On one hand, though, she was glad he was fine. If he was indeed fine. Maybe it was just a show for her and he was still desperate inside. She couldn't know. What did just happen, she wondered. If once he explained what he meant instead of speaking in riddles. She had no time to ask, but even if she had, she wouldn't, because he was already at the door. "I'll be back soon." He left. She realized she didn't even tell him where Roman was waiting for him.

Dean managed to find him anyway. He was sitting on the big sofa in the lobby. When he noticed Dean, Roman stood up and walked his way.

"I need to talk to you," Roman said.

"I figured that. But here?" There were not too many people in there, but still.

"No. We're gonna get some breakfast." Dean frowned. Breakfast? It wasn't that he wasn't hungry, he really was, but it was kind of strange having breakfast with Roman. Alone.

Anyhow, they entered the restaurant that belonged to the hotel. It wasn't empty but they got a table far away from other guests so it wasn't too bad. First they got the food and drinks and only when everything was ready, so that nobody would walk away to get something during the conversation, Roman started talking.

"I know you're mad at Seth; but whatever he said to you he meant well."

"Mhm," Dean mumbled. There was sarcasm but it could not be identified because he had too much food in his mouth. Roman needed to wait for him to swallow to get something meaningful out of him. "Do you even know what he said?"

"Not exactly," Roman admitted. "He didn't feel like talking about it; he was pretty mad too." Dean took a sip of cold water; he didn't seem very interested in the conversation. "Look, cannot you two just let it go? You're friends; act like it."

Dean laughed. "Tell that to him. Friends don't blackmail each other."

"He wasn't serious," Roman defended Seth. In fact, though, he never heard about this blackmailing thing.

"I hope he wasn't, for his own sake."

"What did he say, anyway?" Roman didn't care about the food in front of him. He couldn't eat until he got what he wanted from Dean. He just sat there, permanently looking at Dean, who was throwing food into his mouth, and trying hard to understand him talking with his mouth full.

"He said that if I don't break things off with Cassie, he'll say everything to Renee."

"Oh." Roman didn't get this from Seth's story. "That would . . ." He didn't know how to finish that sentence.

Dean did. "That would be the end of my relationship with Renee."

After some silence, Roman said, "Well, I know that you don't want to hear this, Dean, but what if you did stop seeing Cassie? Would it really be such a disaster? I mean, you barely even know her. How long have you known her? Since March?"

"February," Dean corrected him. "I appreciate your opinion, Roman, but that's not an option."

"Why not? You don't have feelings for her, do you?"

"No. And even if I did, I would never cheat on Renee. I really don't wanna screw things up with her; I know I probably already did but . . . I care about her. I really do. I can't imagine what I'd do if Seth told her about Cassie and she broke up with me. I mean, I don't know how I could look her in the eyes."

"You feel guilty."

"Yes. I know that technically I haven't done anything what I should feel guilty about, yet I do feel guilty."

"You need to make a choice. You can't have everything. It's either Cassie or Renee."

Dean laughed. "That's what Cassie said. In a way."

"Well, then listen to her."

"It's not that simple. And . . ." Dean suddenly lowered his voice. He was going on say something, but he didn't. There was silence and then a deep, loud sigh. "I can't let Cassie go. If I lose Cassie, I lose Renee as well."

"What? How?" That didn't make any sense.

"Seth's right. I suck at being a boyfriend."

"No, you don't. Don't underestimate yourself. I haven't heard once Renee complain about you."

"Yeah." Dean smiled. He put the fork down. He lost his appetite. "I'm pretty good at coming up with date ideas, aren't I?" Roman wanted to agree but Dean wouldn't let him say a word. "Wrong! You think I'm the one who plans all those romantic things?" Dean raised his voice; he suddenly didn't care who could hear him. "Hell no. I have no idea what to do, what Renee'd like." Roman didn't like where this confession was going. He had a bad feeling about it. Dean was getting confident, but in a wrong, pretended kind of way. "I don't even know how to appeal to my girlfriend. I need an assistant, a tutor. And guess who my tutor is."

Roman didn't dare to answer at first, but after Dean kept staring at him, waiting for him to say it, he finally did. "Cassie."

"Cassie," Dean said again, shortly after Roman.

"So, you see, I _need_ her. Without her I'm clueless. I know it sounds stupid, it is stupid, too, but without Cassie by my side, I'm not able to be the kind of boyfriend Renee thinks I am and she'd like me to be. But we both know that Renee would not take this is as an acceptable justification for keeping my ex-girlfriend around." Dean laughed. It wasn't funny at all, but he couldn't help himself.

"I don't know what to say," Roman admitted. He didn't feel very good. He needed to get some air, because this whole situation was suffocating him. Dean was in so much trouble. He was indeed screwed. Was there any way out of this? Hardly. "I . . ." He breathed heavily. "If we were alone in here, I'd punch you right in the face. How could you even think you'd get away with this?"

"I guess I never really thought about it."

"Well, now would be the right time."

"Trust me, I do think about it a lot now. I spent the whole night wandering around the city and trying to come up with a solution."

"And?" Roman was really curious to hear to what conclusion Dean came.

"Well, I can see three options. First, I don't do anything. Seth, because we both know him, will tell Renee the whole truth, which will result in her breaking up with me. She'll be hurt, feel betrayed, and she won't speak to me ever again. Cassie stays, but I guess that's the only good thing about this option. Other than that, I'll be devastated."

"Second option?" Roman asked, because he, as well as Dean, saw that the first option was never really an option.

"Second, I stop hanging out with Cassie. Renee will never know that I kept seeing her after we broke up and that I used her help to be a better boyfriend."

Roman interrupted him, because he realized something. "Your girlfriend is practically dating your ex-girlfriend. That's sick."

Dean let that pass and continued, "Since I won't be able to talk to Cassie anymore, I'll have to figure out relationship stuff by myself, and we both know what that means. Improvisation." Roman made a sizzling sound; improvisation didn't sound very good. "Yeah, soon Renee'll realize that I'm not a boyfriend material and definitely not the kind of guy she'd want to spend her life with, and she'll start looking for a gentle way to break up with me. Because she'll reject the idea of being open about it, and in her eyes cruel, she'd end up torturing herself by thinking that she's hurting me. Therefore this way she'll end up hurt as well."

"So the third option, then?"

"The third option . . ." For a while Dean didn't say anything. Then finally he spoke, "Third, I break up with Renee. Again, she will never find out about Cassie, so she won't be hurt by that. I'll prevent Seth from telling her about how I screwed up; so her memory of dating me won't be painful. Sure, it won't be nice to go through a break up, but we're not that serious yet. If I waited and she'd find out later, that would break her. Now it's just a mistake of dating somebody who sucks at relationships. Moreover, if I'm the one breaking up with her, I can control it, I can be gentle and try to hurt her as little as possible, preferably not at all."

"Is that what you want?"

"No. But do you have a better idea? Seriously, as much as I hate it, I don't see a way how Renee and I could get through this." Dean really didn't want to go with this option, with none of them for that matter. He hoped Roman would tell him not to do it and offer him a better solution. Roman didn't say anything, though. Dean was left with his three options, one worse than the other. But if he was to be fair, breaking up with Renee seemed to be the best thing to do, for everybody.


	55. Chapter 55

"What are you thinking about?" asked Renee after repeating her question to Dean for the third time.

"What?" He finally started to be aware of the reality, but he had no idea what she had asked him, now or before. Somehow he got lost in his thoughts and totally forgot that he was not alone. But even though Renee got his attention and made him realize that they were in the middle of a conversation and he should focus on her only, he couldn't stop thinking about that other thing. He glanced at his phone. It seemed to be hypnotizing him and asking Dean for attention. It was lying there on the table and Dean's mind tried to come up with the best way, without raising suspicion, to take it and leave to make a phone call. But there was no way that could happen. And soon Dean realized he was staring at it.

"Are you waiting for a call?" Renee asked directly.

"No," he replied and tried to force himself to let it go. It could wait anyway. "So . . ." he tried to take her mind off his possible intentions, "you were saying?"

She spoke slowly, trying to figure out what was happening with Dean, "I asked if you were going home this week?"

"I don't know," he said. In reality, he knew precisely what his plans for those few days off were. But it wasn't that he was lying intentionally or hiding it from Renee; he just wasn't in a state of mind to give her a coherent answer.

"I was thinking that . . ." She paused to make sure Dean was listening and understanding her words, "maybe you could come with me to New York."

"Ha . . . Well, that's a possibility." He certainly didn't satisfy her with this answer. Nor with his attitude. He didn't seem to be interested in the topic at all.

Renee had for a while this feeling that something was wrong. It was actually more than just a feeling. She had no idea if it had something to do with her or what it was about in general. Dean was very secretive and although Renee knew Roman and Seth had some information, she wouldn't get it from them. Maybe it was best that she knew nothing, she thought. But this stage of their relationship was worrying her. This thing, problem, or whatever it was, was not temporary.

"I can't go with you to New York," Dean said suddenly. He hoped it didn't sound like he didn't want to spend that time with her, but he didn't put much effort into convincing her it wasn't that.

"Oh, all right." Clearly it upset her a little but she tried not to let it show.

"I'm sorry," Dean said and abruptly stood up and ran out of the room, taking his phone with him.

There was nobody outside but for feeling more free he left the building completely. Only then he could make that phone call.

"Hi, Cassie. I . . ." Suddenly all the words that he wanted to say disappeared from his mind. He didn't reach her, he knew he wouldn't, she was probably working, but he wanted to leave her a message. He had been planning what to say for at least half an hour. He had it all figured out. Except that now that little speech he had prepared didn't seem suitable. He ended the call without actually saying anything that would make sense.

When Dean opened the door to go back inside, he felt irritated. That atmosphere inside was suffocating; he couldn't go back there. He closed the door and stood outside for a while, to get some fresh air. He could smell the fumes from the cars but it was still making him less nauseated than the indoors. He loved those hallways but right now he hated them. It reminded him of all the problems that seemed to be coming from everywhere. Suddenly he realized what he wanted to do. He took the phone out of his pocket again and dialed the same number. Again, nobody answered. As soon as he heard the beep sound telling him he could start speaking, he said, "I'm going home. I need to see you." And he really did. With all that was going on around him, she was the one person that he would feel relaxed around. He refused the uninvited, sudden idea that it meant something. Dean argued this need to be with her to himself that it was all because of her optimistic nature that always made him careless. He couldn't quite explain it, but Cassie made him feel alive.

He stayed outside for another five minutes. He felt better now, though. That feeling of sickness was gone and he could breathe again. The only problem was that he was alone; he felt alone. Not lonely, just really alone. And he started feeling nauseated again. He leaned forward for he thought he might throw up, but he only coughed. He felt hot; he put his hand on his forehead to see if he wasn't feverish. He couldn't tell; but he definitely didn't feel very well. Despite that, he decided to go back inside. But his hands were shaking and his heart was beating fast. He was losing his sight. He ran into the bathroom. He spent there a couple of minutes, mostly sitting on the cold floor. He was grateful that nobody came in the whole time he was in there. When he looked in the mirror, the face reflecting back to him seemed unknown. It looked really weary and greenish. But he knew it was him. He looked awful. Nobody could see him walking around looking like a zombie. He splashed icy cold water over his face, a couple of times, until he felt more or less okay. It wasn't great but it wouldn't get any better, he thought to himself. He dried his hands and walked outside the bathroom.

He didn't get back to Renee. He was forcibly stopped on his way there by Seth. He took him by his arm and dragged him few feet away from where he was initially standing. When they were alone, and there was nobody in sight, Seth shouted at him in a whisper, "You're such an idiot." That annoyed the hell out of Dean. But he realized Seth probably had a good reason to call him that. "You can't break up with Renee." So Roman talked. Now Seth very likely knew everything that Dean had said to Roman. Dean was stupid if he thought this wouldn't happen.

"Calm down," Dean said. He too kept his voice not too loud. "I'm not going to break up with her."

"Good." Seth was surprised, but he made himself look confident. As if he was the one who managed to change Dean's mind.

"I can't do it," Dean said. Since Dean kept talking, Seth didn't need to ask him why, which would sound stupid anyway. Though, he was curious why Dean decided not to do it; from what Seth heard from Roman, Dean was assured of it being the best thing to do. Dean continued, "I don't want to do it."

Only now Seth noticed that Dean looked quite . . . well, not himself. He was pale and seemed weak. Seth even felt bad for him for a short moment, even though he was still pissed at him for so many things. "Are you all right?" he had to ask.

"Yeah, whatever." Dean didn't want to talk about how he felt, physically. He didn't want to talk about his mental feelings either but he had to; it would at least gain him some sympathy from Seth. That's what Dean thought, anyway.

Seth accepted Dean's unwillingness to talk about his health, so he returned to the original topic. "When I said I would tell Renee everything if you didn't stop seeing Cassie, you breaking up with Renee was the last thing I wanted to achieve by it. I know this is hard for you both but it's not the end of the world. Roman told me you think if I tell Renee the truth, she will no longer want to be in a relationship with you . . . or something similar, but I think this is where you're wrong. She loves you, for Christ's sake. She's not going to stop loving you just because you lied to her. I mean, I wouldn't judge her if she did, I know I would, but I'm positive she won't. If you think telling her what's going on will bring an end to you two, then you don't know Renee."

"I wish you were right."

"I am right," Seth assured him. He was pretty confident about this too.

Then there was silence. Nobody was walking by but they didn't say anything anyway. Only after a minute or so Dean broke the silence by saying, "I don't want to risk it anyway."

"Damn it, Dean!" Seth couldn't hold back his emotions. "You cannot lie to her!"

"Technically, I'm not lying to her."

"Fuck you and your _technically_. You're not honest with her. Don't you think she deserves to know the truth?"

"She deserves not to be hurt. If she knew what I've been doing behind her back, she'd be hurt."

"One day she'll find out." Dean wanted to say something, but Seth was quicker. "It may not be me she'll get it from. It doesn't matter how she learns about it; what I'm saying is when she does, it'll be worse than if you told her now." Seth sighed, tired of how stubborn Dean was. "Just tell her yourself, okay?"

Dean seemed to have understood and surrendered. But then he asked, "What if she asks me to stop seeing Cassie?"

It wouldn't surprise Seth. Of course she will, he said to himself. "Then you do it."

"I can't."

"Yeah, I've heard, you _need_ her." Seth said it with unhidden sarcasm. That was another incomprehensible, strange thing. Funny, in a way. Dean needing guidance. And from his ex-girlfriend. Seth wondered what she thought about it. It had to feel inappropriate and awkward to her. But still, Seth imagined that she was okay with it. She wouldn't do it if she didn't want to, would she?

"It's not just that I need her. I'm not that selfish. It'd be unfair to her. She's been there for me for so long and now I'm supposed to dump her?"

"Don't make me feel bad for you."

"Not for me, for her."

"Since when do you care how other people feel, anyway?"

"She's my friend. Why is it so hard for you to understand that I care about her? And why do I get this impression that you hate her?"

"It's not that I hate her," Seth said. He didn't like her either, though. Well, he did when he met her. But now she's pure evil, in Seth's eyes. "I just don't like that you fight for her so much. You seem to be willing to sacrifice your relationship with Renee just so that you can still spend time with _her_," Seth pronounced it as if it was a vulgarism.

It was apparent that Seth really didn't trust Dean. "I've told you I haven't cheated on Renee or anything."

"I know. I'm just worried that you might if you keep her around."

"That's not going to happen."

"How can you know that? Do you remember how crazy you were about her when you were together?" Seth reminded him. Dean really let go of those memories. They were still in his mind, but they were well-hidden. At least Dean believed so. "This game is dangerous, Dean. You can't just pretend it's safe to hang out with your ex. Especially when you ended it on good terms. Tell me, honestly, did you ever even have an argument?"

"No," Dean admitted. It didn't take him long to come with an answer. He knew he never fought with Cassie, not when they were dating, not now.

"And I've seen her. She's . . ." Seth smiled. "She's not the kind of girl you want to be just friends with."

"I've got this under control," Dean assured him.

Seth shook his head. "No, you don't."


	56. Chapter 56

"Can I bring you anything else?" the waiter asked as he placed the empty glass on the tray.

"No, I'm good." Dean didn't even look at the waiter. He was watching this girl who was sitting alone on the other side of the bar. Has she been there alone the whole time or did her friends leave, Dean wondered. He couldn't remember. He's been watching her for a while now but he couldn't remember. Anyway, she didn't seem to have noticed him. Maybe she did; maybe she even knew about him staring at her. He didn't put much effort into hiding it, after all.

God, he couldn't take his eyes off her. What was it? Magic? Dean smiled. He felt like going to talk to her but his body was unable to move. Maybe she was there with someone. Did he notice somebody walk into the bathroom? He had no idea. There could have been a monster right next to her, he wouldn't know. He wouldn't care, as long as she was safe. She looked so peaceful, happy. Would it be okay to send her a drink, he asked himself. He felt like standing up and going to talk her. He couldn't; he was paralyzed. But god, was she charming.

What was she doing? Dean noticed she had a book with her. She had been reading it, but now she was writing something inside. She seemed irritated. He couldn't really say, she was too far away, but she seemed pretty irritated. She wasn't frowning, though. There was a trace of a smile on her face. But Dean still believed she was irritated by something. Not by somebody because she was still sitting alone. Just her and her book.

He stopped watching her. He felt like ordering another shot. While he called the waiter, he lost the track of what she was doing. He hadn't been watching her for just a short moment, but he already missed her. That was strange. He couldn't really explain it. He just knew he had to see her again.

She was still there; thank god. But . . . what the hell was she doing now? Was it a knife in her hand? Was she . . . was she stabbing her fingers? Dean stood up; he acted instinctively. He had to stop her. He walked briskly over to her. She didn't notice him until he was just few steps away. She looked up at him.

"I thought you'd come at some point," she said enthusiastically. She evidently saw nothing wrong with what she was doing. Well, she stopped now. At least that. "I saw you watching me. You could have at least tried to be incognito." Her voice was lovely as much as lively. Besides, there was so much honest cheerfulness in it; she had to be happy that he came.

Dean didn't realize she saw him, though. But if he was staring at her almost all the time, which he was, how come he never saw her looking back at him? She must have been good at covertly watching somebody, so much better than him. Then he remembered why he came there. "What were you doing? I hope you weren't trying to hurt yourself." He sounded really worried. He was, too.

She laughed. "Oh, this." She knew what he meant. She still held the knife in her hand; only it had been hidden under the table since he came; she probably hid it automatically. She took it out now and pointed it at him. Actually, it seemed to him that she was going to stab him. He reflexively stepped back. When she realized what she just did, she gasped, "I'm sorry." She meant it, too; he could see that. She put her hands over her mouth and looked like a scared little child. "It's a fake knife," she explained, smiling, but feeling terrible for her imprudent reaction. She looked cute. Like a puppy that did something bad and feels ashamed of itself.

Dean laughed. It was a rather unusual joke but he had to smile, at least because of how cute she looked. He took the knife, just in case, and sat down in the booth opposite to her. "So it's not a real knife. But still, why?" he had to know. God, this girl was . . . crazy? No, at least not the typical crazy. She was something else. He had never met anyone like her. He didn't know her, but he was really attracted to her, to her weird personality. She was adorable, in her own way. He wanted to know her. He wanted to sit there near her and watch her, learn what she was like from her unusual actions.

"I was bored," she said shamefully.

"And when you're bored you stab yourself? Why do you even carry a rubber knife?"

"It's a drinking game." She returned to her happy nature. She was smiling widely and saying it as if it was the greatest thing ever. That girl was really cheerful and her eyes were sparkling. When Dean was looking at her, he couldn't stop smiling.

"So how does it work?" Dean asked. Cassie liked that he was interested, no matter if he was more interesting in the game or in her. She took back the knife from him, and then she took his hand, too. She placed it in front of her, increasing his curiosity. But before she could tell him about the drinking game she seemed to like so much, the waiter appeared with Dean's drink, the one he had ordered while he was still sitting at his old place. He totally forgot about that, but welcomed the waiter's notice of him switching the spot in the bar. When he placed the glass in front of Dean, he turned to the girl. Meanwhile, she still held Dean's hand, which quite surprised Dean; this girl was evidently not shy.

"Anything for you, Cassie?" She smiled. Apparently she didn't mind that Dean now knew her name. She finally broke the eye contact with Dean and looked up at the waiter.

She then replied to his question, "Bring us six shots of . . . six different drinks."

"Six?" Dean repeated, surprised.

"Anything specific? the waiter asked.

"Surprise us."

The waiter nodded, as to show he understood the order, but before he could leave, the girl said, "Make it ten." Then he left to get their drinks.

"I'll show you how it works," she said to Dean, confidently.

"Have you been waiting for me to come to you the whole night?" he asked. Suddenly it appeared that way. She was really happy about the idea of playing that game with him, as if it was all part of a plan.

"Actually," she laughed, "I'm on a date."

"Oh." Well, that was the last thing Dean imagined to be the reason why she was there. Then he realized, "Where's the guy?" Dean look around; as if he anticipated to see a person sitting next to him, who hadn't noticed before.

"Yeah . . . he didn't show up." She didn't seem to be upset about it, though. "You know, this friend of mine set me up on a blind date because she thought I haven't dated in too long –" she broke off. That was too much information, she suddenly realized. "Anyway, I waited and waited and . . . yeah, I ended up with a knife in my hand because I got bored."

"Don't you think he might saw you holding a knife and decided he better back off?" Dean suggested.

She laughed when she thought that could be the reason. "Maybe," she admitted. "Or he saw a stranger talking to me and he thought he stood no chance compared to him," she gave another possible explanation.

"Are you saying I scared your date off?" She shrugged her shoulders. But it was clear that she wouldn't mind Dean being with her instead of that other guy that she had never seen before anyway. "I guess I should stay here with you tonight. You know, as a compensation for ruining you night."

"I guess you should," she accepted his offer.

The shots arrived, but the whole time waiter was by their table putting the glasses down in front of them they kept staring into each other's eyes, excited.

As soon as they were alone, she got a better grip of the knife and spread Dean's fingers on his right hand. She broke the eye contact to optically measure the distance between the fingers and started hitting the spaces between the individual fingers. At first she did it really slowly, while explaining it to Dean. "You need to stab each empty space with the knife. You can start slowly, but gradually you increase the speed."

"That's easy," he replied, as she was getting faster. "What if I hit the finger?"

"You drink." He figured that since it was a drinking game, but he had to ask anyway.

When she made three rounds, not hitting Dean's finger once, she passed the knife. "Your turn," she encouraged him, but there was something sly in her look.

Dean was confident. He had no problems with aiming whatsoever; not even higher speed made it that more difficult.

This went on for a while. They took alternates. He was pretty good at it but her confidence was discouraging. Was that it, he asked himself.

The next time was different. She wasn't looking where she was aiming; she kept looking straight into his eyes.

"You believe in yourself, don't you?" Her smile and unbroken look was an answer. Then she stood up the game a little more for she closed her eyes completely. Not once had she hit him. Not at first. But then she did.

"Nobody's perfect," she said, but there was something about the way she said it that made Dean question whether it wasn't intentional on her part. "Do you dare?" she asked, handing him the rubber knife. She drank one shot as a punishment.

Dean accepted the challenge, again. But when he was to close his eyes, he lost the faith in his ability. It was more difficult that it first appeared. He lost the track; where were her fingers and where was the empty space that he was supposed to stab? "You're good," he had to admit, an also that she was better than him. Well, she had practiced it, unlike him. Due to his several failed attempts, he was made to drink. And he drank and drank. He was losing to this girl. Then his asked, he wasn't completely sober, "Would you do it with a real knife?" He had to know. For some reason, that could have been a deal breaker for him. Was she crazy or just adventurous?

"I've never tried it," she admitted honestly. "But one day I will." He laughed. He felt somewhat drunk but he was still aware of everything. "But I need to be totally wasted for that." She looked in front of her. There were two more full glasses left on the table. Dean had drunk most of the drinks because she knew how to play the game and how to win. She knew that this was exactly what would happen, that he would have to pay for being interested. She raised one glass and handed the other one over to Dean. "You're a solid player," she told him. Should he make a toast or something, he wondered. He couldn't think of anything clever to say so he ended up just smiling, showing appreciation. They both drank up and put down the glasses.

Dean looked to the right; there was still this book she had been reading that night. He saw her reading and writing something down inside, but he forgot all about it. Only now he noticed it and it all came back to him. He took a look at it. "A Farewell to Arms," he read the title. She made this sound of being annoyed, or maybe just uninterested. Dean noticed a bookmark, which had the top torn in several vertical lines. He opened the book. There were many writings, all in ink. The edges were all full of handwriting; it didn't look bad, sometimes even as if written in calligraphy, but it didn't belong there. Anyway, there were too many words and sentences. He didn't feel like reading it all. Also, the alcohol he had drunk made it difficult for him to read the small letters. "Why did you write in the book?" he asked.

"Because I couldn't stand how Hemingway made the female character look in there."

Dean laughed. He hadn't read the book so he didn't know what she was talking about, but she was really cute being angry at Hemingway. "Tell me about it." He wasn't that interested in the book or the author's view on women; he just wanted to hear her speak. She had beautiful voice, really feminine, even girly, which in combination with irritation created an unbalanced, yet seductive and fascinating feature. She was aware of that and used it to her advantage. But she didn't manipulate him; she didn't have to.

"This Catherine . . . she's so unrealistic." She smiled. "She blames herself for everything, and she literally says _I'm so stupid right now_ and that kind of bullshit on almost every other page. I guess Hemingway really thought women should be submissive and do what men want and tell them to."

"You would never let any man control you," he assumed. It wasn't a question.

She smiled genuinely. Her elbow was up on the table and she held her head in her palm. She gave Dean this innocent look which couldn't be trusted. "Maybe one day when I'll get tired of making my own decisions," she joked. But it was easy to recognize she didn't want to talk about this topic. She was in a good mood and talking about something she didn't particularly like could change that, even when it seemed improbable. But to prevent getting irritated by talking about it, she took the book away from Dean, opened it again on the bookmarked page, the only one that was written all over and tore it out of the book. Dean watched her, realizing this girl probably wasn't a very big fan of reading, otherwise she wouldn't destroy a book to prove her point, or whatever it was that she was doing, would she? "Here," she handed him the page. She put the book in her bag, which was down under the table next to her left leg. Dean wasn't sure what to do with the page she gave to him, but he took it. Maybe she thought if he read it or something, he would understand. Either way, it didn't matter to him right now. He folded the sheet of paper several times and put it in the pocket of the back of his trousers. But as much as he was surprised by the actions of this girl, he was fascinated by her as well.

She didn't demand that he read right away the page she handed him. Instead, she stood up and without saying a word went over to the counter. Dean was still sitting down, feeling slowed down by the alcohol. He didn't quite grasp what was happening now. Was she coming back? It appeared to Dean that she had taken all her things. And now she was standing by the counter talking to the waiter that had served them all night. They weren't too far from where Dean was sitting; he could see that she was handing the waiter cash. She was paying. Jeez, Dean thought to himself, he wasn't supposed to let her pay. He should have paid for everything. Yet, even now he couldn't do anything about it. Not that he didn't want to, but he didn't seem able to physically go over there. He definitely wasn't _that_ drunk, it had to be something else, he thought.

Fortunately, she came back. "I'll repay you," Dean said abruptly.

She laughed. "That's really not necessary."

"I insist," Dean spoke. He sounded as if he wasn't able to control what he was saying. His words certainly weren't very deliberate. When he realized there wasn't much he could do, she had made her mind and wasn't willing to change it, but she was kind about it, he asked her, "Are you leaving?"

She gave him a sweet smile and replied, "Yes."

"Don't," Dean begged.

"Would you like to come with me?" She stretched her hand and helped him stood up. He felt stupid, he didn't need anyone's help, he really wasn't that drunk, but he couldn't say no to her. "I got you drunk; now I feel obliged to take care of you."

"I'll gladly let you take care of me. If you know what I mean." He didn't think twice before saying it out loud, what he regretted immediately. Fortunately, she took it as a joke. She giggled with her soft voice. Then she placed her arm around him, he was much taller than her, and generally so much bigger that it was problematic for her to really take care of him. Moreover, Dean realized that he was probably drunker than he first thought, but tried to be independent of her help.

As soon as they got outside, Dean felt a lot better. The wind blew cold air into his face, which sobered him up a bit. But even though he would be able to walk without her help, he didn't want to let go of her; he kept his hand around her. He liked touching her, although it was far from real intimacy.

"I think we should get a cab," Dean said.

She smiled; actually she never really stopped smiling. That was an interesting thing about her; she was cheerful all the time. And Dean felt really relaxed due to that attitude. She continued walking without replying to Dean's suggestion.

"Where are we going?" he asked. Not that he really cared; he was just curious. And he wondered why she would prefer walking, and supporting him, to getting in a cab.

"Oh, just here." That was helpful, Dean thought to himself. But then she added, "Around the corner." She led him for another minute or so until they reached the said corner. There was a car park, but it was empty. Well, there were no cars, for one thing. They stopped there anyway. Only vehicle that was parked there was a motorbike. Red, big, strong; presumably 250cc. Dean wasn't able to read the brand name on the side of it.

"No," he said hastily, even before she could ask him to sit on it or something.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she asked, ignoring his comment. She forced him to walk toward it with her.

He refused. "This . . . is not a good idea." He was drunk but he could still think. And in his position, he couldn't afford to get injured in a motorbike accident, which was more than likely to happen since she had drunk alcohol too.

She laughed. "It's not mine. Don't worry, I'm not _that_ crazy."

"Oh, thank God!" he exclaimed and placed his hand on his heart, as if he just had a heart attack, or, as in this case, prevented one.

"I live right there." She pointed at the tall building in front of them. It was right behind the small car park. It wasn't _tall_ tall, not in comparison with skyscrapers or even other buildings he had seen in the city that day; still it was higher than most buildings in the surroundings. There were definitely more than ten floors.

"You inviting me to your place?" According to him, that was a bold strategy. She barely even knew him, he was so much bigger and it wouldn't be any problem for him to take advantage of her. Moreover, he was pretty drunk; he really was, no matter how much he tried to deny it. Did this courageous girl really trust some stranger guy so much that she was willing to bring him to her own apartment? For one thing, she didn't seem scared or even worried; she was more excited, actually.

She didn't give him an answer. It wasn't really necessary, either. As they were walking and getting closer to the entrance, she uttered, though, "You don't _have_ to come if you don't want to. I just thought it would be more pleasant than sitting in a bar, surrounded by drunk strangers . . ."

"_I_ am a drunk stranger."

She took the notice. She found it funny; definitely not something to worry about.

"Tell me your name then. If I know your name, you're not a stranger anymore, right?" she argued. There was some logic in it, surprisingly.

Only then Dean realized that this girl, unless she was a remarkably good liar, had no idea who he was. That felt nice, not be recognized for once. So far he had taken her for a regular girl, not a fan, and it was really pleasant. He could be himself; he hadn't taken the chance yet, for she got him drunk surprisingly soon, but he could try later. For once it was nice not to talk about wrestling, not getting questions like what it was like to be a wrestler, to spend most days on the road and so on. He could talk about anything. The only problem was that right now he wasn't in a good shape to talk, or have any meaningful conversation. God, that girl got him under her control. Dean suddenly felt like a victim to her games. This girl _could_ play.

They were motionless. She was looking at him, waiting for him to finally reveal his name. Dean totally forgot about that question. He quickly lost track of what was happening around him. His span of attention was dangerously short at the moment. And now he was on his way to lose it again. It was time to focus, at least for a second. Dean opened his mouth but he started speaking only seconds afterwards. "_I'm_ Dean," he said finally, although overly emphatically.

"I'm . . ." she wanted to tell him her name but he stopped her.

He pointed a finger at her, trying to figure out what her name was. He knew he heard it before. That waiter back in the bar mentioned it once or twice. Dean searched in his memory, which was something he really could not rely on at the moment. "Cassie," he almost shouted. He was so glad he remembered.

It appeared she was pleasantly surprised by his remembering her name, even in this drunk state. "Charming," she commented with an honest smile on her face.

Dean felt confident. He felt like he could do anything. He knew he couldn't, really, but he got the confidence. He smiled back at her. Suddenly he felt like kissing her. Right there in the middle of the car park. He was going to, trusting his spontaneous ideas, but she realized what he intended to do and stepped to the side before he could touch her lips. She wasn't mad or anything, though. She kept smiling; it was all she did. God, she had a beautiful smile, Dean thought to himself. Even though she didn't allow him to kiss her, she grabbed his hand, not too impulsively, and led him all the way until they reached the door of the building they were about to enter.

They finally got inside; the hall of the building was a little filthy with trash in the corners, spider webs on the walls, and some strangely, disgustingly looking stain on the floor; none of that mattered to Dean, nor Cassie, apparently, but it got Dean's attention. There were two elevators, one on each side, but Cassie just passed them by and walked further.

"Are you coming?" she asked. Dean was standing there, as if struck by the surrounding but honestly he couldn't care less about the visage of the ground floor.

He almost forgot to reply, but she waited and she finally got the answer. "Which floor is it?" was his counter-question.

"Sixth."

"And . . ." he thought before continuing, to not make a mistake of false assumption. "You're taking the stairs?"

She smiled, it was a very honest smile, and came over to him, taking his hand. "Problem?" she asked playfully. "Judging by your muscular arms . . ." She stroke his biceps through the jacket; it was still clear that he was in good physical condition no matter how many layers he'd put on. "I thought it would be okay for you to walk a few floors," she flirted with him, caressing his ego.

Dean wouldn't have even thought of proving her wrong by hesitating. Sure, he wasn't in the best state to walk, no matter to what direction, but taking stairs instead of an elevator could help him sober up, for what it was worth. And, he smiled viciously, if she was to walk before him, there would certainly be a nice view.

"Let's go," he said, and let her lead him again. And damn, it truly was a nice view.

She made him wait in the hall when they entered the apartment. She didn't say why, but he obediently waited, sitting on some low cabinet or whatever it was. The door to the other room, probably the living room, was open but he couldn't see her. There was another door but that one was closed and he had no idea what was hiding behind it. He moved his feet; he was stepping on a rug, which looked really clean and even expensive. It probably wasn't but he shoes could have been muddy and he didn't want to ruin it not matter if it cost a fortune or if it was a worthless piece of textile.

He heard some voices; two. There was a conversation going on. He could clearly distinguish a male voice; the guy sounded a little irritated. Dean stopped vaguely looking at the wall above the door, the one that was closed, and leaned to the left as if it could help him hear better.

"What is it this time, stranded kitten, bird with a hurt wing or an angry pitbull?" the man asked. Dean could hear the voice closer as he kept talking. "I don't need another torn pillow or a 'surprise' in my shoe."

"That's not gonna happen," she promised him. She spoke rather calmly, enjoying the other person's annoyed mood. "Probably," she added jokingly.

Dean could hear footsteps. Then it stopped. The man spoke again, "Which tie?" He seemed to have let go of the previous topic, but maybe only temporarily.

"This one. . . . Let me tie it for you."

They started walking again. Dean knew they were coming his way but he got more interested in a picture hanging on the wall in front of him. It was the Golden Gate Bridge; the panorama photograph reached almost from one corner to the other. It was all over the wall. It was framed and behind a glass, with a crack in the top left corner, as if a ball hit it.

"Oh," the male voice was now coming from Dean's left. He was standing right next to him. A big guy, as tall as him, in a suit, looking sharp, with a bucket of roses in his hand. The roses were facing the floor. The man, probably in his early 30s, looked suspiciously at Dean and adjusted his perfectly combed hair, which made him look like from the 1960s. He laughed but Dean was still tense. "From the context, I somehow didn't grasp you could be talking about a _person_."

She didn't saying anything. she seemed to have confused him on purpose. Dean didn't dare to interrupt.

"Wait . . . Is this the guy you were on a date with?"

"Not really," she said, rather slowly.

He didn't have any follow-up questions. Cassie introduced them. "This is Dean." Dean finally stood up and shook the guy's hand. "Dean, this is Josh." Josh what, Dean wished to ask but he chose not to.

"Jeez, did _you_," he looked at her, "get him this drunk? Were you playing that stupid game again?"

"It's not stupid. It's a great ice-breaker," she argued. He replied with shaking his head in disdain. "Anyway, it's time for you to go," she turned to him and started pushing him away, towards the front door.

"All right, all right," he surrendered. But he kept looking at Dean suspiciously. It wasn't that he didn't trust him at all, but he knew too little about him; the only thing he could be sure of was that he was really drunk, and therefore not trustworthy.

She noticed the way he was looking at her companion and said, "I'll be fine. I'll take care of him." The way her voice sounded reminded Dean of innocent little child talking about her teddy bear. But this was a grown-up woman and her intentions with him were far from playing with him as if he was her toy. She said to the guy who was just about to leave, already opening the door, "Don't worry."

"You know I always will. But I trust you and I know that you can take care of yourself."

"Goodnight," she pushed him out the door.

"I'll be back in the morning. Goodnight, sis," he said softly and kissed her on the top of her head. Then she shut the door.

Dean waited for her to turn to him, now that the guy, apparently her brother, was gone.

"We're alone now," she answered the question which lingered on Dean's lips but never came to life.

Again, Dean wished to kiss her. He seemed to have a perfect opportunity. There was nobody around them, nobody to disturb them. He tried to draw her up closer, but she wouldn't let him. He was confused; she had brought him to her apartment, knowing they would have privacy in there, and now she stopped his each attempt to get intimate with her. It didn't make sense.

"Are you scared?" he asked. There wasn't any indication that she was afraid of him but he sensed she might feel that way. Why else wouldn't she even accept an innocent kiss?

"No." She smiled. This time she pretended to be okay with the whole situation; she even got closer to him. But he could still see she wasn't quite comfortable and didn't feel natural doing what she was supposed to. She said in a quiet voice, but it was louder than a whisper, "There's a police officer living next door." She didn't mean to make it sound like a warning but that was exactly how it appeared to Dean.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Not even unintentionally. He wasn't that drunk; he was coming back to his senses and felt sobering up.

When he studied her face, the expression, he wondered if she was regretting inviting him over. What was her plan, if she had any? She seemed to have it all figured out earlier, but now she was wavering. She wasn't shy, not at all, but she was a little unsure.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked abruptly. He immediately regretted asking that question and supporting the possibility of her changing her mind about him being in her apartment.

She shook her head; she wanted him to stay. Then Dean realized something. Something that would explain her behavior. He remembered what she told him back in the bar, how she was waiting for a date. And that her friend set it up because she, or he, thought that she, Cassie, had been single for too long.

"You haven't done this in a while, have you?'' Dean surprised her with his correct deduction.

She welcomed how he figured it out by himself and, moreover, seemed to be okay with it. She replied, admitting it, "I guess I forgot how this works."

"I'll tell you how this works," Dean said, gently, seductively. He took her hand, she had no problem with that. "You," he whispered as he was getting her hesitant body closer to his, "let me –" He wasn't allowed to finish. She saw where he was going with it and this time she, with her new-found confidence, rubbed her lips against his. Then she let him take control of the kiss.

She didn't hesitate once after that. All the romantic gestures, flirting, actions that she was supposed to undertake on a date came back to her. She knew what she was supposed to do, theoretically, orthodoxly, but she didn't choose to follow that path. She had her own ways and those didn't include taking her date into the bedroom; at least not that early.

* * *

><p>"Dean, there you are," Renee's sweet voice approached his ear. He didn't see her coming in; his eyes were closed.<p>

He was daydreaming. The scene from that February night in Denver when he first met Cassie had been playing in his head. Now it stopped, but he wished it to continue. He knew how it ended, what happened next, but he wanted to see it again as if he was once again in that apartment, with her standing before him, not really knowing what she was like, and with no idea how it would turned out. The scene was paused, but his mind, his brain was still working.

He thought about it. He remembered how he wanted to sleep with her that night, how he believed that was what was going to happen when she invited him over to her place. But actually, they hadn't gotten into her bedroom that night at all. Yet there wasn't a single thing Dean would change about that night, their first date. Or the others. It was always perfect. Although mostly she was in charge of their date plans, and her ideas often differed from how Dean wanted it to be; he wouldn't change a thing. But the more he thought about that day he met her, the more was coming back to him. They hadn't been together for long, but as long as he remembered, even though there was a chance his mind wasn't completely honest with him, she was the girl that had changed him. He had fun with her, although their sexual life was difficult to maintain with long-distance relationship.

He called her right after he left her apartment, before he left Denver, and there was hardly a day without him hearing her voice. Dean wondered, he had to, if it wasn't for Renee . . . Oh, Renee! "Renee," he cried, and reached for her. If it wasn't for her, would he still be with Cassie?


	57. Chapter 57

He had the key to her house. She never asked him to ring the bell, knock or even call. "Just enter," she used to say. It didn't seem to matter to her if she was at home or not. He was allowed to come at all times.

He rang the bell anyway. Even with a key, he would feel like a burglar going inside without invitation. Although she never failed to remind him he was always welcome to come visit her. This time she was awaiting him, though. He knew she would be at home; that was the deal.

She opened the door. She let him in and then welcomed him as an old husband. The expression of happiness on her face made him glad he decided to come. He didn't remember a single time that she was frowning at him. Someone who didn't know her very well would say she never frowned, that there was always a smile on her face, but those people were wrong. He witnessed her being sad. He knew she wasn't cheerful all the time. But every time she saw him, she smiled. And he smiled too.

"When did you come?" she asked. She mean when he arrived to the city.

"Just now." He still carried a backpack and a suitcase. "I thought of stopping by at my place to leave the baggage there but . . ."

She wouldn't let him finish. She hugged him enthusiastically, needfully, as if she hadn't seen him in forever. Well, it had been long time since the last time they were together. Sure, they talked on the phone, mailed, chatted on the internet, but technology couldn't replace simple act of physical closeness. The feeling of the other person, the ability to touch them was rare in their case, so when they got to meet, they appreciated every minute they could spend together.

"It's good to see you." She wanted to expand on that thought, but after consideration she realized speaking about how she missed him wouldn't be appropriate. Moreover, he could see that she was glad to see him again. She changed the topic. "Do you have any plans for your time here?"

He sighed. "Oh, I don't know. Right now I feel like lying down, relaxing . . . I'm so tired, you wouldn't believe." His shoulders were down and the whole posture was weak. The exhaustion from the travel was visible on his face and on his body as well. And it was so hot outside.

"You know where the couch is. Or you can go in my bedroom. Help yourself," she said with a smile on her face.

"I don't have time for that," he cried.

"How about some food then? I can cook something and in the meantime you can take a shower. What do you say?"

"I cannot say no to that."

While he placed all his stuff in the hall and then headed upstairs to the bathroom, he knew precisely where it was, this wasn't his first in her house, she went into the kitchen.

Her kitchen wasn't separated from the living room, on the contrary, it created one big space where the smell of the food filled the big, light living room. There were many windows, to which Dean pointed several times as a great opportunity for uninvited guests, but she never saw it as a serious threat. She always replied that she couldn't live someplace dark, and he understood that, but sometimes he worried about her safety.

In the kitchen everything was already ready for her to start cooking; she had prepared it upfront because she knew Dean would come and she wanted to speed up the process so that he wouldn't have to wait long. There were all the ingredients on the table, the oven was already pre-heated, but since she wanted everything to be fresh, she didn't actually start cooking yet. She had to fry tortillas, cook the sauce, then fill and roll the tortillas and place them in the casserole pan. But when Dean came downstairs again, the Enchiladas were already in the oven.

"That smells amazing." Dean often used to compliment her cooking skills and wondered why she didn't cook regularly, at least not very difficult dishes. She had told him that she cooks mostly if there are guests coming to her house, as now he was, but when she was alone she didn't waste time cooking. That was exactly what she said; she told him that cooking was a waste of time, or that it took too much time and became boring after a while. Nevertheless, she enjoyed cooking for him.

"So how was your week?" she asked as she was washing the lettuce. She talked to him yesterday on the phone but she asked anyway.

"Busy," he replied. He hadn't told her yet about how certain people knew that she was still seeing her, that was something that couldn't be discussed on the phone. Dean thought that maybe he would tell her later that day; for sure he would tell her before he left Vegas again.

"Now you get time to chill."

"Not really."

They both knew there was no time for him to relax, not for longer than few minutes anyway. Even though he was at home, he had to practice, he had to go to the gym, go running and so on. And sooner than he'd like, he had to go back and return to his typical schedule.

Dean sat behind the counter, they never ate on the table, they ate either on the counter in the kitchen, which Cassie was now cleaning and putting plates on, or in the living room, usually when they were watching TV. "Can I help you with something?" Dean asked because he got this feeling that he was doing nothing and he should help instead of letting her take care of everything. Right now she was putting on the oven mitts so that she could take the Enchiladas out of the oven.

"No, dear," she replied, with her back turned to him.

"What have _you_ been doing this past week?"

"You know, same old. Work mostly. But, hey, my brother is coming tomorrow. You can come by."

"Which brother?" Dean asked. He never knew which brother she was talking about. She had four of them and no sisters. Cassie was the youngest, so whenever Dean heard about any of the brothers, automatically he got scared a little. They were all older than him, and although he hadn't met each of them, the ones he had met were at least as big as him, if not bigger. And they certainly were those protective brothers. But they were friendly once you got to know them.

"Max."

"And that is . . ." He still had no idea. There were too many of them. How was he supposed to remember their names and be able to connect it to a face?

"He's –"

"Wait. I'm gonna guess." He had nothing else to do anyway. The food was still hot, even though now it was on their plates in front of them. Cassie was sitting next to him, but suddenly she stood up and turned on the radio. Then she sat down again and waited for his guesses, anticipating them to be wrong.

"The one you used to live with."

"That's Josh."

"Oh, okay. The one with the hot fiancée."

"Still Josh, " she giggled.

"The one I talked to yesterday?" His voice went high at the end as a result of uncertainty. But she knew that he had called her brother the day before and chatted with him; he told her later when he was on the phone with her that same day.

"And that's Levi."

"And Max is . . .?" He was out of guesses. There were too many brothers. He heard about all of them before. Mostly when she was telling Dean about her family, her siblings, she talked about one brother only. Then, at another occasion, she would tell him about other brother. One by one, he learned a lot about them, but still he had troubles remembering their names.

"The one living in Mexico, remember?"

"Oh, yeah," he nodded, but still there was confusion in his eyes.

"Come on, Dean, that's an easy one. Max, Mexico." She believed that way he would easily remember which one he was, but it didn't work as she hoped.

"And I've met him before, right?"

"Yes." Then she hesitated. "I think so."

"And you want me to come see him?" Dean wasn't too pleased by that idea. Even if he had met him before, he didn't know him that well. From all of Cassie's brothers, he kept in touch with one, well, two. Josh, now Dean remembered which one he was, the one he met first, the one that Cassie used to live with back in Denver, the one that Dean came to respect the minute he saw him. And then even more the following morning. That was a funny thing, the morning Dean woke up groggy from the previous night and found Cassie's brother in the kitchen. They had a long conversation at the end of which Dean was sure that he was developing a crush on Cassie.

The other brother that Dean was friends with was Levi. He didn't know him as long as Cassie and Josh, but there were many similarities between Dean and Cassie's youngest brother. They met, Dean wondered, it was probably in March, definitely when he was still dating Cassie, by a chance. Dean still remembered that evening. Levi, who, by the way, insists on pronouncing his name "LE-vi", and jerks every time somebody calls him "LEE-vy," came unexpectedly to visit his little sister and Dean was there in her apartment with her. As she went to open the door, Dean stayed sitting on the couch, watching TV. They were right in the middle of watching some movie, Dean tried to remember its name . . . it was a comedy . . . Superbad! Dean almost shouted. His happiness over this little victory couldn't go unnoticed by Cassie.

"What are you thinking about it?" she was curious.

"Oh, just reminiscing about the day I met Levi."

"Oh, yeah, I remember. Do you remember his reaction when he saw you in my living room?"

"Of course. I was waiting for you to come back –"

"You were snuggled in that blanket," she interrupted him, giggling.

"It was cold," he tried to protect his masculinity. The truth was, he just liked the coziness of her lying against him, hearing her musical voice in his ear each time a funny scene appeared on the screen, covered with that purple blanket . . . It was so long ago.

"I lingered a little longer in the hall, placing his shoes by the wall because he left them in the middle of the way . . ."

Dean laughed. "Oh, yeah."

"You do that too," she pointed at the fact that neither he was perfect.

"He walked into the living room, I heard his footsteps so I turned around. He took a good look at me."

"Then I entered the room," Cassie continued with the story. "Levi looked at me, wide smile on his face, and he asked me if you were my boyfriend, the guy I told him about."

"And then he said . . ." Dean had problems holding back the laughter.

"Hold on to this one," they both said at the same time. That line was stuck in their minds forever.

"Why, I asked him. I had no idea what was so special about you. Especially at the first sight."

"Hey!" Dean said, pretending to be hurt by what she said.

She let it pass. She said, "Then he looked at me, confused, not sure if I was kidding him or if I seriously meant that question. He laughed; I could never forget that laughter when he realized I had no idea whatsoever. Finally Levi yelled, 'That's fucking _De_an _Am_brose!'" Cassie tried to make the best impression of her brother and his significant high-pitched voice that he gets when he's really excited.

"And you were staring at him, not knowing what was happening. Then you looked at me, looking for an answer. You told him, after a really long pause, 'Uh, yeah. I know his name; he's my boyfriend.' Oh, wow, you had no fucking idea."

"I was clueless," she admitted.

Shortly after that Cassie found out that Dean was a professional wrestler, a celebrity, for certain people. But that discovery didn't change that much; Dean initially thought her knowing his true identity would spoil the easy, uncomplicated relationship they had. Easy in regard to their interactions, connections of their minds, not the physical closeness since there were hundreds, thousands of miles separating them most of the time.

"And Levi then told me everything about you," Cassie continued reflecting, "that damn bastard knew more about you than I did."

Dean was smiling from ear to ear, he liked those times, he would love to think about it more often but he forbade himself to think about this époque of his past. It was better left untouched. Talking about it now, though, seemed harmless. "But even though you found out what I did for a living, you never became a fan of mine," Dean remarked. It wasn't meant to be a reproach.

"Well, I realized since you never told me you were a wrestler in the first place, you only told me you were a sportsman, more or less, you didn't want me to be involved in that part of your life."

"I didn't –"

"No, it's all right. I was fine with it."

One thing Dean really liked about Cassie; when she said she was fine, she was, indeed. And it was that way with everything. She was honest. Of course she lied, quite often actually, but when it mattered the most, she only spoke what she really thought, and what was true. Somehow she could sense when was the right time to say something that was far from reality and when it was better to be honest. Similarly, she always knew when it was time to stop with her typical cheerfulness; she could be serious when the situation asked for it.

"Although," she spoke again, "now I sometimes turn on TV and _accidentally_," the way she said, it was probably on purpose, "catch something like . . . I don't know, Seth beating the hell out of you with a steel chair."

"I supposed you had a good laugh on _that_."

"Oh, you can bet I had. . . . Anyway, I think we slightly got off topic," Cassie remarked. "Are you coming tomorrow?"

"That . . ." Dean had trouble remembering what the original topic was.

"Max is visiting. Actually, he, and Ana," she said as a matter of fact, "are coming to see Vegas, have some fun for a couple of days, so I can be glad they even pay me a visit," she laughed. "But they'll bring Daniel and I'll have him for myself for a couple of hours."

"Daniel?" Dean wasn't sure he came across that name before. Well, at least not in a connection with Cassie.

"Their son. Come on, I mentioned him before, haven't I?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders; she might have, who was supposed to remember? "How old is he?" This question wasn't really necessary; the age wouldn't change anything. Just her telling him she would be babysitting her nephew and asking him to join her was repulsive enough. What would he do with a kid?

"1 and a half year."

So it was decided then. "I really don't think so," Dean replied, stretching that short sentence as much as possible. It was clear that Dean had no interest in being around some child who, moreover, he didn't even know.

"All right. No problem. One little thing, though. Would you mind taking Lily to your place? I really don't want to risk anything when there'll be a child around."

"Oh, yeah, of course. That makes perfect sense, especially after that incident."

Cassie shivered when she remembered how Lily got away. The thing was Lily was a spider, pet tarantula. Cassie disliked spiders, didn't feel comfortable when she saw one; actually she hated them. It wasn't a phobia but she felt strongly against them. In her theory, which so far proved to be successful, it is possible to get used to anything; when you don't like something, all you need to do is spend time doing it, or if it's not an activity but an object, animal, or even human being, get close to it, learn to live with it. So she got a spider. For first few days it was almost unbearable, really creepy and sometimes Cassie got thoughts of starving it to death. But now she was getting used to it, she even came to like Lily; Cassie believed naming it would help her like it more, and it did. Unfortunately, about two weeks ago Lily disappeared. With spiders that's when the real problem arises.

"I almost fled my house," Cassie recalled.

"But you're persistent," Dean said. "Once you get something on your mind, you don't give up."

She accepted the compliment with no strong feelings. "That night I lay in my bad with the thought that I might die." The shivers ran through her body.

"Maybe next time don't go into extremes. Want to get a spider? Get a harmless one, not one that can poison you."

"I don't know," she said, staring into her plate, playing with the fork and the food without eating it, although it was getting cold. "It makes me feel alive."

"Don't you worry that one day this attitude can actually kill you?" Dean suggested.

"You're the one to speak," she attacked. "Maybe I don't know that much about Dean Ambrose but I'm well acquainted with a certain Jon Moxley. Hell, even now. . . I watched you when Seth was hitting you with that chair. And damn, I saw your matches with Evolution or the Wyatt Family. You do realize how much beating you receive, don't you?" Cassie got comfortable in this offensive mode. "I'm not saying I'm objective here but it appears to me that you're the one who always receives most punishment. If you weren't okay with it, no," she wasn't happy with that formulation, "if you didn't _like_ it, _enjoy_ it," she smiled, this sounded right to her, "you wouldn't let them do it. I know you Dean. I can imagine you listening to the plans for The Shield, or whatever is left of it, and when you hear someone was to beat them, you offer yourself, you _beg_ you could be the one who gets the worst beating. It makes you feel alive, doesn't it?" she finished. She satisfactorily leaned backwards on her chair, knowing she had proven her point.

Dean was biting the nail on his thumb, avoiding eye contact with the detective, hiding the smile, not very well though. He finally looked at her but instead of saying something in regard to her previous comment, he just said, "Eat, it'll get cold."


	58. Chapter 58

That last visit at Cassie's got weird. Well, a little. Or was it okay? Dean realized that maybe, probably, it was time to draw some boundaries. There were things that are not typical for friends to do; and when it came to exes, no matter how good their current relationship was, not to mention their let's-forget-we-ever-hang-out attitude, those things became strictly inappropriate. Certain behavior would be looked at suspiciously, especially by other people. This thing that happened, or actually it was only about to happen but Dean had already agreed to it, was probably one of those things.

Cassie invited Dean to a wedding. At least it wasn't _her_ wedding, Dean laughed on his own joke. Still, it was strange, wasn't it? It wasn't a date or anything, he had a girlfriend, _Renee_, he kept reminding himself. That was his biggest problem when it came to Cassie's offer. She meant well, Dean was sure of that, but he couldn't agree to come, as her plus one, without having doubts about correctness of his decision. Maybe he should get a second opinion. Or not. All those who were concerned would be against him coming to a wedding accompanying his ex-girlfriend. Even those who had no issue with Cassie, just because they had no idea he kept in touch with her and contacted her on almost daily basis, would object if they had all the information. How Dean hated these _moral_ issues. Why couldn't he just do what he felt like doing? Why everything had to be followed by the annoying feeling of guilt?

To be honest, normally Dean would decline her offer; he wasn't that stupid or heartless as to not realize that it wasn't the best idea for him to go, in his situation, but this was a little different. There was a reason why he said yes after a long consideration. It was Josh who was getting married. Josh, Cassie's brother, the guy Dean met in the apartment when Cassie invited him over on the night when they first met. Dean and Josh weren't best friends but they got to know each other well during the time Dean was with Cassie. They even kept in touch afterwards. The fact was, Cassie wasn't the only one Dean was still seeing. There were her brothers, at least two of them, Josh and Levi. Dean was meeting Levi this very day, for that matter. Seth or Roman had no idea about this. Maybe if they knew, they would finally realize that cutting off all contact with Cassie was, well, impossible. But Dean didn't want to think about it anymore. He already spent more time thinking about all of this than he'd like.

But then again, if he did go, what he'd say to Renee? He'd have to tell her _something_, or not? What was the procedure? Go and never speak of it? Lie and add to the long list of lies he had told her? Tell the truth and face the ugly reality? Too many options, and none acceptable. Well, there was always an option of not going at all . . .

That afternoon he met Levi. He was in town and Dean wouldn't forgive himself if he missed the rare opportunity of meeting him. Levi travelled often too. He resided in Los Angeles but it wasn't that easy to find him there. But Dean loved hanging out with him. The two always had something to talk about, and no, it was not Levi's sister Cassie. They often discussed their work, their passions. Levi was a professional boxer so they really had a lot to talk about; they both were performers, both were fighting in fight of a crowd cheering or booing them. Both had to be in perfect condition. Their work life was taking most of their time and energy and personal life was something of a lesser importance. Moreover, in his youth Levi did wrestling for a couple of years so he had a good idea what Dean's professional life looked like. Levi knew how much hard work it required. So did boxing. And they enjoyed listening about the other kind of fighting. They even visited each other's shows when they had the opportunity. Cassie, on the other hand, never saw Dean in the ring. Of course, she watched Raw sometimes but that was mostly it. She found wrestling interesting; she respected and admired Dean for his in-ring abilities as much as his "acting", as she never held back to call it, but she liked to keep distance from actual action. It wasn't that she wouldn't enjoy it, and it certainly was not that she would worry about him getting hurt; she thought he'd be more comfortable without her there, and she was right. Now more than ever. If he imagined Cassie crossing paths with Renee, shivers would run through his body and frustration would eat him alive.

As soon as he saw Levi standing at the entrance waiting for him, Dean got rid of all those desperate thoughts. Levi waited for Dean to come closer to greet him and ask him what's going on in WWE. That was something Levi always asked first; not how he had been but what's new in the company. Of course he had most of the actual information because he tried to keep updated but he couldn't miss the opportunity when he had one to ask somebody who worked there and therefore knew much more.

"So how much time do we have until you need to go?" was his second question. Levi himself didn't have time to spare either. There was work and training and meetings and he had to consult a doctor about that injury he got few days ago.

"About one and a half, two hours."

"Como siempre," Levi mumbled, as by the way. Since his brother moved to Mexico, he often added some Spanish words to his speech. He didn't speak Spanish though; he knew just a couple of words, which he used at random times.

Although this little time they had was meant to be spent careless, thoughtless, worriless, just enjoying watching a game of basketball, Dean's mind wouldn't allow him to forget about everything that kept it busy before. He was trapped and he couldn't be free until he finds a solution.

He walked inside the arena but he was absent, he wasn't really aware of what he was doing. "Cassie invited me to Josh's wedding," Dean mentioned, as if saying it out loud could help him get away from that topic.

"I know."

Dean stopped walking. He was surprised by Levi's casual attitude and clear lack of surprise.

"You don't think it's weird?" Dean thought maybe Levi was the right person to discuss this whole subject with. Definitely not one that was judgmental or could get offended.

Levi shrugged his shoulders. It was not confused, unsure shrug; it was more like asking why it should be weird. Then he said casually, "You don't need to come if you don't want to."

"I don't know if it would be appropriate," Dean reasoned.

"I just know that it would make Josh happy."

"Why didn't he invite me then?"

"You don't know? He wanted to. Cassie told him that it would be easier if she invited you as her plus one."

"Why? I don't understand," Dean said.

Levi sighed. He wanted to see the game and not talk about his sister or his family in general. He took Dean for a friend, not his little sister's ex-boyfriend. Their current relationship didn't interest him much. "She argued that if you got your own invitation, you wouldn't bring anyone anyway."

At first Dean felt obliged to get mad at Cassie for making that decision for him but quickly he realized she was right. She had a point; the only person he could generally bring to a wedding was Renee. But bringing your girlfriend to a wedding of you ex's brother? No way.

Dean nodded to make Levi continue. "And she said she certainly wouldn't bring anyone."

"Practical as always," Dean murmured with a smile on his face.

"Look, Dean, seriously, if you don't want to go, it's okay, nobody'll get offended."

Dean knew they wouldn't. But although weddings weren't his favorite things, deep inside he wanted to go. He liked Josh, he liked his fiancée, who he didn't really know but she was smoking hot and a former model; and Dean always felt good around Cassie's family. Well, her brothers. He didn't know her parents, he never met them. Anyway, it could be fun.

"I said I'd come."

"All right." Considering the conversation to be over, not giving much damn if Dean had made up his mind for good or would change it again, Levi started walking again and this time Dean followed him.


	59. Chapter 59

"Yeah, well, what can you do?" Dean asked rhetorically. He wasn't in the best mood and Levi with his call didn't make it any better. Dean continued, failing to sound enthusiastically, "All right. I'll figure it out . . . No, I'll find somebody else to go there with . . . I know, I know," he said, nodding although he knew Levi could not see him. "Sure, next time . . . Don't worry," Dean mumbled. He sounded more and more phlegmatic, even apathetic. How could he be happy when Levi just scrapped their plans, or at least erased himself out of them. "Bye." He hanged up.

So there were two tickets in the first drawer of the night table next to Dean's bed in Las Vegas and the person who got them to Dean suddenly couldn't make it to the race. That left Dean with yet another decision to make. Hopefully this one wouldn't be so far-reaching. If . . .

Yes, the first person who came up in Dean's mind as a substitute for Levi was Cassie. It was understandable; she lived in Vegas, she was a big fan of basically any sport, the more adrenaline the better. They went to see a race before, Cassie and Dean, a couple of times. She knew a few riders and so did he. Of course she would be a logical replacement of her brother. Dean knew how much she would love going. He himself didn't have anything against inviting her. It was nothing new; they've done it before and they would very likely do it again. Maybe . . . maybe he could ask her . . .

The phone was still in his hand; he dialed her number without really thinking about it. But he stopped the call shortly after it started ringing, before she had a chance to pick it up. Why? There wasn't really a reason, just . . . He held a page in his left hand. A page that he had forgotten about. It was in a pocket of his jeans, folded several times. It wasn't in best condition, but he identified it quickly, without too much effort. He hadn't seen it in months, and he never really read it. He stretched it out to read it; maybe now was the right time.

There was no title and the text started in the middle of a sentence. At the top left corner there was a drawing of a rose, closed. At the top right corner the rose was in bloom. Both roses had thorns. But those pictures were unrelated to the text. By reading it he wouldn't know what it was; but he remembered what it was by seeing it. He smiled when he realized it was the page Cassie tear from the book she was reading in that Denver bar. The one that got her mad for, well, Dean didn't know why. He didn't remember that, something seemingly so unimportant. He could recall what she looked like that night, he could say what she acted like. And even though he was pretty drunk at that moment, he still remembered, he could even still feel her licking chocolate off his almost naked body. The tickling, the excitement, the arousal. All those feelings were coming back. Her happiness, her chocolate smile, the chocolate taste of her tongue . . .

That was the reason why he couldn't go to that car show with her. That was why he couldn't come with her to a wedding. Seth was right. Not with The Shield, not with his being an architect of the group giving him the right to destroy it. He was right when he said that hanging out with your ex was dangerous. Those feelings that once existed couldn't be safely kept locked somewhere deep beneath the surface. Dean believed he had it all under control, but maybe he was terribly wrong and at any moment it would all fall apart and the real terror would start. It all started with a question what if; once there was curiosity, threat existed. And Dean couldn't swear he wasn't curious. He was fascinated by the idea of recreating the moments that were still alive in his mind.

Maybe in this moment Dean would need to have Seth, the voice of reason, although overly affectionate, beside him to tell him strictly "No!" They could have been enemies on screen right now but that didn't mean they weren't still buddies in real life. And so was Roman. They all kept hanging out although The Shield became a stable of the past. Now it all became good old times. Whatever. Dean's mind was taking a dangerous road, and Seth could divert him from doing something stupid. He felt he needed to be hit with reason; but much more likely he would get hit by a chair, a table, or stairs.

The phone started ringing. She had to notice he had called her. Now she wants to know why. Why? Right, the page. Dean didn't have the courage to read it. Now it certainly wasn't a good time. He felt weak and vulnerable. Not really in a way most people do, he was still strong, but he was aware of a higher risk, chance to be affected by hearing her voice. Or even reading her handwriting on that page. Looking at her artistic waste of time, her various drawings. No, in no way he could answer the phone. He kept it in his pocket; he didn't decline the call either.

Instead he tried to escape. Even though he still had his phone on him, he left the room and walked far. He didn't like being alone with his thoughts. He crossed several halls, walking surely, confidently. Did he have a goal? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he just liked keeping a steady pace. Or he wanted to go outside. One thing was sure. He'd like to exchange the solitude for being in a presence of other person. Who it would be didn't matter that much.

No, he realized, he didn't have a goal but there was something heading him in a certain direction. He knew where he was going although that information didn't reach his brain. Something led him and he didn't hesitate to follow. By like a magnetic attraction he found himself standing in front of a door. He knew that door. He knew the room behind that door was full of people. He'd know all of them but just a crowd wasn't the reason he found himself there. Renee was inside too. It made sense . . .

Dean laughed. He felt his consciousness was awake again. It made sense? Really? Something "magically" brought him right in front of the room in which his girlfriend was . . . Yeah, like he was gonna believe that bullshit. Yes, there was a reason he came there. No, it wasn't magic. It was guilt. He felt guilty because he lost the control and his brain started picturing his ex-girlfriend. And those pictures were pretty vivid. And it wasn't only guilt that caused his coming specifically there. There was curiosity. And judgment. And forgetfulness. He forgot what it felt like being with Renee. It was hard to explain, even to himself. He _knew_ what it was like, theoretically and practically too, but he couldn't recall the sensation. Judgment. Was Renee a comparable match to Cassie? He enjoyed every second he spent with her. Maybe because even seconds mattered when the opportunities of being with her were rare. Now that he thought about it, recently, consciously or subconsciously, he avoided Renee. He didn't spend with her as much time as he should. Was there a reason? There could be. Forgetfulness. Did he really enjoy every second spent with Cassie? Or was it an illusion? Did he forget what it was like with her back in times when she was his girlfriend and did he mix the image with the moments he spent with her these days? Now he knew her. Back then he didn't really. Now he loved being around her. Was it the same a couple of months ago? Curiosity. Now he knew Cassie. And there wasn't a single thing – was there? – that he couldn't stand about her. When they broke up they didn't have a crisis or anything. They didn't fight. Not once. Considering all of this, minus the fact he already was in a relationship, there didn't seem to be a single reason why they wouldn't work as a couple. And that was a dangerous thought.


	60. Chapter 60

He finally walked inside. He saw her standing on his left hand side talking in a group of people. He didn't approach her but waited for her to notice him. In no more than twenty seconds she did. She didn't smile. Her look was concerned; maybe his was as well. He didn't move; he still waited for her to make the first step.

"Dean," somebody addressed him. Nothing. "Dean," he said again. This time that person touched his shoulder too.

"Not now," he responded, the arrogant tone similar to the one he uses in the ring.

He didn't watch the person's reaction for he didn't care. He watched Renee. He needed to talk to her. Finally. There were things she needed to hear, and Dean sensed she knew it.

His eyes striking hers, it was clear to Renee that Dean wanted her to leave her little group discussing no matter what and go with him. 'Cause by the look on his face Renee assumed the conversation they were about to have was not suitable for public.

But maybe she was wrong. When she got to him he took her hand but they stayed in the room. They stood by the wall; it would be an exaggeration to say they had privacy.

_What's going on?_ Renee wanted to ask but didn't say anything. She was worried and couldn't hide it.

Dean bit his lip, played with his tongue, eyes searching around the room. He acted nervous but he wasn't. And he wasn't scared of looking Renee directly in the eye either. He just didn't know what to do, what would be the _best_ thing to do.

"I know I wasn't the best boyfriend recently," Dean started.

"You've been busy."

"No. That's not the reason." So that she wouldn't have chance to ask some follow-up questions, he continued. "I'll try harder."

"Dean, you don't need to _try harder_. You were good enough. Something changed. It's not that you did something wrong, not that I know about," she added suspiciously, "but I feel we're driving apart. Am I wrong?"

Dean was ready to answer, he seemed to be about to agree with her, but when his mouth opened, not a single syllable got out.

"All right. Let's forget about those last weeks. Let's start over, have some fun."

"Do you want to come with me to a car race?" Dean suggested.

Renee smiled.

"I know you're not into that stuff . . ." He actually wasn't sure.

"Why not? It could be fun. Just . . . do we have time for that?"

"We have time for anything. You can come to my place . . ."

"You want me to come to Vegas with you?" she interrupted him, surprised. This was the first time. He never asked her that before; he demanded privacy, some alone time.

Dean didn't hesitate. "Yes."

"Are you sure about it?" she asked. It was a little hard to believe that Dean would change opinion on it, just like that. But he seemed sure; he looked confident.

"Absolutely." He smiled. He made one step forward so that she would have to move. When he made another one, she found herself leaning against the wall. He made her close her eyes and kissed her.

When he broke the kiss, the first thing Renee did was to look around to see if somebody noticed them kissing. Of course they did. But when they saw Renee looking at them, they stopped watching and went back to their previous activities. Satisfied, Renee now looked back at Dean who was holding her hand.

"I was thinking . . ." she started saying, "you remember that girl Rebecca?"

"Hmm . . ." he wondered. That name sounded familiar. Then an imaginary light bulb lit up in his head. "Oh, yeah . . . Rebecca. The little girl with awful family."

"Her family isn't awful." Renee sighed. "Anyhow, what if we took her for a trip?"

Dean stood there, speechless, stunned. Look of horror in his eyes.

"Breathe," Renee advised him, laughing. "I guess I should have expressed myself differently. What I mean is that we could invite her to Raw on July, 14, in Richmond and then to Smackdown taping the next day in Fayetteville. It's not that far from where she lives . . ." Which is? Dean wondered. He honestly had no idea. "It could be a nice _trip _for_ her. _Don't worry, I'm not suggesting to take her on a holiday or anything," Renee explained and believed that this would make Dean relax. She realized he might have thought that she imagined something of a family trip, which wasn't her idea at all.

"We could do that. And when I return from Japan we, and now I mean just you and me, could go to New York."

Renee couldn't be more astonished. Not only that he wanted her to come to Vegas with him, he also wasn't terrified of going to his girlfriend's place? "You never wanted to come before," she said what he already knew.

"Now I do. And not only that. We'll go sightseeing; we'll go all the way up the Empire State Building. And I'll take you the best restaurants in New York," he promised. It was a spontaneous idea but maybe he shouldn't have said it out loud. Him suggesting to go around New York as a tourist was not like him at all. On the contrary, it was suspicious. And then he realized he went too far.

His girlfriend knew immediately that something was wrong. But due to all the people in their hearing distance, she didn't want to say something that could start an argument right there. She tried not to let show her suspicion. Moreover, there was a chance there was nothing to worry about and Dean's suggestions were abnormally normal. If anybody else said it, it would be certainly okay. The problem was that it was too unlike Dean. And she couldn't hold back the suspicion. When Dean tried to hold her hand, she let him but she was unresponsive. And her smile was frozen.

"What is it, darling?" Dean asked.

"Nothing," she lied. She wanted to know what was going on. She didn't dare to ask. Maybe she was terrified of the answer. Dean could have been hiding something and it was more comfortable to be living in a lie. But why didn't he tell her by himself? She tried to hide that she became suspicious of him recently, but for she was bad at pretending, he had to know. He couldn't believe she was buying everything that he was saying, could he?

"You don't seem happy about my idea."

"Really?" she asked, pretty sarcastically. All right, she was done with pretending.

"Renee, just tell me."

"You first," she said.

"Why I do feel I shouldn't have said it?" The short moment of happiness, the illusion of everything being fine was over.

"Dean, why don't we leave it now?"

"Why?" He looked around. "You mind talking down to me in public?" he said, his voice louder than should be. She didn't reply so he continued, getting more and more annoyed. "Tell me what you really think," he dared her. She still didn't say anything. Her face got sad. He took the wrong approach. He was never supposed to make her sad, speechless in a wrong way. "Renee," he talked to her, trying to make her like him again. He spoke sweetly, stroked her cheek, put aside strands of hair from her forehead so that he could see her beautiful eyes. She wouldn't look at him though. "Renee," he said again. When she still wouldn't look at him, for whatever reason, he put his hand on her face again and with his right thumb stroked the side of her chin. Then she finally looked at him.

"What are you hiding, Dean?"

Dean wondered. Was that the impulse to tell her the truth? Probably. But he dismissed it. He chose a different approach. "I know I wasn't the best boyfriend recently," he repeated the first sentence he said to her when he started the conversation which didn't take the direction he'd want it to.

Her response was different. "Maybe now it's the right time to decide if you wanna do anything about it. Or —"

"Don't finish that sentence, please. Of course I wanna do something about it. And I will. I really want to. So please, _please_, let me take you to that fucking Empire State Building," he begged, adding just a bit of humor and smile so that Renee wouldn't think he doesn't take it, or her, seriously.

After a minute when he started to doubt whether she'll ever look at him the way she used to, she smiled. It was a small, almost invisible smile but it was a good sign to him. He took a big risk because she was mad at him and he kissed her. She let him. In the middle of the kiss he reached with his free hand into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a piece of paper. He didn't look at it; his eyes were closed just as hers. But he knew there was a trash can next to his right leg. The paper, which was until now nicely folded, he reshaped into something like a ball and afterwards threw away. After that Dean broke the kiss. Then he leaned toward her left ear and whispered, "I love you, Renee."


	61. Chapter 61

Does it change a person to hear someone say they love you for the very first time? Can you stay impartial and act normally, as if it never happened? No. At least Renee couldn't. The moment she heard those words, the sides of her mouth rose into a beautiful, genuine smile. All was forgotten. Was Dean hiding something? What it mattered? _I love you, Renee_ was echoing in her head, poisoning her brain. It was an elixir which made her lose her consciousness. It's magic. You're self-aware, arguments floating in your mind, ready to strike because a fight is almost inevitable, and then nothing. Those three magical words help the criminal escape. You become their victim; they gain control over your brain and body. There's nothing you can do to change it. Only few people are that powerful that they can overcome the effect of the words, pronounced in a voice that makes you lose strength in your knees and makes it hard for you to stand. There is a way to escape, though. But you can't feel the same. When you do, when you love that person just as they claim to love you, you're helpless. In the fight that hasn't even started, you're the loser. Then, after it's long over, you realize you let the victim escape. Unpunished. What is worse, it doesn't matter to you. You believe in love and its power to change the world. You're stupid. You're naïve. But you can't help yourself and you can't be helped.

Dean watched her from across the table. She was eating an apple, absently looking at the floor. Dean looked there as well. All he saw was a big triangle in the middle, with open edges. Annoying, he thought. But that couldn't be the reason she was looking there. She stopped now anyway and went back to reading her book. Apple in one hand, book on the table. She used her right hand to turn the pages.

Seth was sitting next to her and Dean saw him glancing at her book and occasionally reading some lines. Renee didn't seem to have noticed.

On her left side, there was Jey Uso. But he was busy joking around with his brother, distracting him from eating.

Dean wasn't hungry. He took his phone and placed it below the top of the table so that it couldn't be seen, more or less. He typed in, _You look beautiful today_, and sent it to Renee. Then he waited for her to read the message. As he thought, she smiled and looked at him when she read it. He saw her typing something too. _And you have a stain on your shirt_. Then she went back to eating and reading her book, which Seth was happy about because he seemed to have finished the page and now waited for Renee to finish it too and turn it to the next one. Dean wrote, asking, _What chapter are you on?_ He wasn't curious. He just knew that she would have to check, going back to the first page of the chapter which has its number on it. This would test Seth's patience and that's what Dean wanted. To get him mad. And Renee did exactly what Dean predicted. When she typed the answer and hit send, Seth realized what was happening. He looked at Dean with a _you bastard_ eyes while Dean admitted his crime with a vicious smile.

Then he started a new message. With a new recipient. _We need to stop seeing each other._

And to Renee, _August 18, 2014_. He immediately got a response. _What is that_? she asked. Both by text and expression. Dean smiled._ Raw in Vegas._ She still didn't get the meaning. _And?_ He replied, _I'm gonna have a question for you that day. Just thought you should keep that date in mind. _She got interested. _What question?_

A second later he got another message. _So you've finally made up your mind?_ He answered this text first. _I think so. But I need to see you one last time._

He returned to the conversation with Renee. _Don't be impatient. I'll ask August 18. After Raw. _He didn't mind writing to two different people at the same time. It could be dangerous; what if he sent the message to the wrong person, for example? No. He was being careful. It couldn't happen to him. But he liked the danger.

He got an answer from Cassie. _I don't like goodbyes. _Dean already knew that but it wouldn't make him change his mind. _I'll come to the wedding. _He didn't get another reply. But he would come; he had to. It would be wrong to finish things off with her other way than in person.

_Should I be worried? _Renee asked. _No._ _Not at all_. She had another question. _Why are you telling me about it now? _He answered, _So that you can remind me in case I forget __. And so that I cannot change my mind. _Renee wanted to know more. What was it? she wondered. _Is it something to look forward to? _That was easy to answer. _Definitely. By the way, you should go back to reading, Seth's getting nervous. _Renee looked at him and yes, he was getting pretty anxious and enraged. But he was mad at Dean, not at her, for keeping her from turning that god damn page. Renee found it amusing. But she was kind; she didn't want to see Seth suffer, no matter how superficially. She closed the book and moved it in front of him. "Go ahead," she told him enthusiastically. Now that the book was closed and lying on the table, Dean had finally chance to see the cover. He raised his eyebrow when he thought of Seth being interested in that book. Dean didn't what it was about, he never heard that title before, but the expression "submit to love" seemed odd enough. Anyhow, Dean typed one more text message and sent it to the girl sitting in front of him. _Let's get away from here._ And he stood up. He had no assurance that Renee would follow him, but he believed that she would.

He waited outside, standing by the wall, arms crossed. To kill the time, he started whistling a familiar melody. When the door opened, he stopped. Before Renee noticed him, he stretched out his arm and grabbed her hand. He pulled her toward him. With his leg he kicked into the door to help close it. Quickly he got her standing right in front of him, his hand on her back but moving down. "I missed you," he whispered into her ear.

"I am with you all the time," she objected

"But we're never alone." He leaned toward her ear again. "I want you," he said slowly, seductively.

"Right here?"

"Right here," Dean confirmed.

"Right now?"

"Right now." Renee chuckled. She let him made out with her but she wouldn't go any further than that.

Still holding him around his neck, she separated her lips from his. "What's your big plan, Ambrose?"

"Plan?" he asked.

"August 18. Isn't that part of a plan or something?"

"I don't plan; don't you know?" he said excited. When he saw her confusion, he added, "But yeah, I guess you could call it a plan."

"Tell me about it," she begged, acting sweet and everything. "Please."

"Hmm, no. It's a surprise."

"For me? Or is anybody else involved?"

"No. It's all for you. And I'm sorry but you'll have to wait, my darling." Renee frowned to be more theatrical. Dean continued, "But I can tell you that it'll start with . . ."

"With?" she hurried him. He spoke too slowly.

"With saying . . ."

"Saying what?" she had to ask because he wouldn't keep talking by himself. The pauses were too long.

"You know what."

She thought she did. But if she was right, she wanted to hear it from him. "Well, say it. Please." She couldn't help but smile. It would be stupid if she was wrong, but she wasn't; she couldn't be. And although he had said it once, she wanted to hear it again. But Dean kissed her on the top of her head and stayed quiet. He was smiling. Caressing her lovely hair, his hand slipped by her ear and stopped on her neck. "You wanna hear it, huh?" he teased her. He leaned toward ear, making her think he would say those three words after all but she was let down. He transferred his lips to her neck. Starting with a soft kiss, his smile widened, which she couldn't see, and to her surprise, he bit her. Gently. He didn't want to hurt her. He was just being playful, having fun.

Does it change a person to say _I love you _for the very first time? Not necessarily. The change had already happened. Pronouncing those three words is a result of that change. Of course only in case you mean them. Maybe it's a lie. Maybe you're not aware that you're lying; you believe you feel it that way. Later you realize you were wrong. But this scenario is not inevitable. Perhaps you really are in love and you just cannot hide it any longer. You want everyone to know. Or you think that telling the person you care about most how you feel about them will make you obliged to stay honest and faithful. It is a responsibility. A new stage of the relationship starts. But saying those words, in case you really mean them, is a good thing; it means you are ready. Ready to let go of selfishness and prioritize happiness of the person you love. No. It doesn't change you. It only changes everything around you. It changes your whole life. Do you feel the pressure yet? No? Think again. You've just changed the direction of your future. You don't own it anymore. The decisions are no longer yours to make. Don't look back; yesterday's gone. So is your life. Are you scared? Then stop living in a lie; this life's not for you. Are you thrilled? Good. 'Cause the future starts now, and it's exciting.


	62. Chapter 62

**Sorry guys for not uploading but I was without internet connection. Now I'm back so I hope to upload new chapter every two days or so.**

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><p>Dean hasn't talked to Cassie since that time he sent her a message saying they shouldn't see each other anymore. Until then their conversations happened almost daily. Not anymore. He wrote he would attend the wedding after all. He wanted to get a decent goodbye. And the fact that they would be surrounded by other people helped. Privacy would feel awkward. But did she still want him to come? Was she mad? Was she sad? Dean had no idea how she felt. It was strange. He was happy. Right now he was really happy with Renee. But at the same time he felt as if he was betraying Cassie. Why? Wasn't there a way everybody could be happy? All three of them? It didn't seem so. But wasn't this what Cassie wanted all along?<p>

He tried to reach her on the phone; he had called her several times in past few days. Still nothing. It rings but no one answers. Was she all right? Or did something terrible happened, other than him possibly breaking her heart? There was somebody who could give him an answer. Her brother. Any of them. But Dean already knew to whom he'd call. Josh. It was his wedding after all that Dean planned to attend.

He picked up the phone immediately. "Hey, Dean. What's up?" Josh asked the cliché question to which there's hardly an answer that'd seem right.

"I can't reach Cassie."

"Hmm. And I thought you just called because you wanted to know what's new with me. I haven't heard of you in weeks, and when you finally call, it's still Cassie that interests you."

"Right. So how are you anyway?" Dean tried to play it cool.

"I'm good. Thanks." Josh seemed to be satisfied now. He didn't need much; he never got offended for real. "So what's wrong with my sister?"

"She won't return my calls. Is she all right?" Dean worried.

"I talked to her yesterday and she sounded just fine."

"Fine like fine or girl _fine_?"

"Regular fine," Josh chuckled. "She's okay; don't worry. Why are you asking anyway? What happened?"

"I might have pissed her off."

"Nah," Josh said doubtfully, "I really don't think so. When she's pissed, I mean when she's seriously mad, you know it. She's not such a good actress. And I know her. Her voice sounded normal. She was happy as always," he added, and Dean knew he was smiling. He was as well. That was an interesting thing; just imagining Cassie smiling could bring a smile to your face too.

"Are you sure?" Dean wanted to check. He had troubles accepting her being happy as always.

"Yes."

"Then why doesn't she speak to me?"

"I guess you know better. But if you tell me what had happened between you two, then maybe . . . wait! You didn't sleep together, did you?"

"No," Dean almost shouted, as if it was the worst thing that could happen. Well, one of them for sure. Dean calmed his voice before continuing. "Quite the opposite. I told her we need to stop hanging out."

"Whoa. That's new." Dean thought Josh didn't grasp the importance of the impact that those words could have had on Cassie. It appeared that Josh was too struck by the fact that this happened in the first place to think about his poor little sister. "Why? Did Cassie become too annoying?"

"Josh!" Dean shouted. Dean was wrong about Cassie's brothers. No, they were far from being overprotective. They weren't even normally protective. At that moment Dean felt bad for Cassie. She might have been crying somewhere in the corner of her room and her brothers didn't give a damn. "Don't you worry about _her_?" Dean asked in hope to make Josh see how inappropriately he acted.

"Honestly? No. Dammit, Dean! Don't think I'm some heartless person whose only sister doesn't matter to him. She does; you know that. But I know Cassie; better than you do. This will not break her. She's strong. Moreover, wasn't she the one who kept telling you that you two needed to stop this pseudo-friendship?"

Cassie never called it that but Josh was absolutely right about this. When she moved to Vegas, she explained to Dean that it is in no way an attempt to win him back. "I didn't lose you," she said, "I let you go." She hated to compete. She was playful, nobody could deny that, and she loved to play all kind of games, but she couldn't stand competitions. When Renee appeared on the scene, Cassie suddenly had a rival. It wasn't written anywhere that Cassie would lose but the possibility made her anxious. Having to compete was making her nervous. And she was the kind of person who demanded calm and relaxed environment to be happy. Simply said, she rather chose to give up than having to lose. But that was a long time ago.

When they began their "friendship" – well, yeah, they were friends, no matter what some might say - a period of forgetting about the past began. Talking about their romantic relationship was a taboo. Dean had another girlfriend, and for Cassie respected that fact, she never, okay, maybe occasionally, mentioned something from the time she was Dean's girlfriend. But even when she said something that was not supposed to be said, she omitted the inappropriate part. She was very thoughtful. Not once she started a sentence with "If we were still together . . ." She knew very well those times were gone for good. But she was not blind; she saw what was wrong with their current relationship. Although she never tried to claim her right over Dean, she could imagine how others would perceive her due to being Dean's ex. Maybe there was something about what Josh said, that she was fine, even though it was rather illogical. After all she herself once said, "You have to decide."

It was a sunny afternoon. They were meeting at their usual spot to go jogging. No, it was running. Definitely running. They were going fast. Anyhow, that day she was late. It was strange. Whenever Dean arrived late, and that happened quite often, she got mad. Not really mad, but she punished Dean for not being on time. Punishments varied; from cooking dinner to going to bed without dinner - yes, she could control that. One time she made him watch wrestling with her - it was probably the only time they watched it together - but she made it special. It was The Shield's match,; against whom they were fighting was irrelevant. Cassie was sitting on her comfy sofa, with her legs crossed like those of a Bedouin monk, while Dean kept safe distance. He watched her; she was excited. More than usually. He wondered why. It was just a match, he thought. He had seen it; he had lived it. But he was sure of one thing. This was gonna be different. And it really was. It was a punishment, after all. So when the words _Sierra, Hotel, India, _and the rest of them announced the entrance of Dean, Seth, and Roman, Cassie viciously looked at Dean, grinning, and began. Began talking, pointing at the best and sexiest male attributes of Seth and Roman. Dean had to spend at least twenty minutes listening to why they are so hot. Not him. She spared flatter on him. "Look at Roman's tongue. I bet he knows how to use it," she said, almost drooling. Dean frowned, "Do I really have to sit through this?" He was already fed up. "Oh, oh!" Cassie cried, pointing at the screen vigorously but Dean still wouldn't look; there was nothing he wanted to see. He only glanced very shortly. She said, "That ass . . . Hey, Dean, have you seen that episode of the Simpsons where Ned Flanders goes skiing? He was wearing really tight skiing suit, or what you call it, and his ass was . . . literally blinding. So squeezable. Seth's got an ass exactly like that." To the screen, "Come on, Sethie, shake it. Shake that ass, shake it, shake it!" she started to sing. Dean murmured, "Please, stop." But this wasn't what he was originally thinking about. It had nothing to do with the end of their friendship. These punishments, or that last one in particular, could be a good reason to be mad at her but he never was. She liked having fun, and he was willing to be the target of the joke.

But back to the point. That afternoon she was late for their running session. She came twenty minutes late and not only that immediately raised suspicion. Her face was another problem.

"What the hell happened?" Dean got angry right away. It was the nasty bruise underneath her left eye. "Who did that?" he already had another question ready. But she was calm. She was smiling; what was there to smile about, Dean wondered, angrily.

"It's nothing," replied Cassie. But there was more. In the middle of that bruise she had a couple of stitches. Dean looked more closely; there were five or six. He was used to this look when he looked in the mirror, or at the guys backstage, but seeing this devastation on a girl, who besides had nothing to do with wrestling, was really suspicious and worrisome.

"Who did that?" Dean asked again for he didn't get an answer the first time. "Who hit you?"

Cassie still wouldn't take it seriously. "It's not like that."

"Then do you mind explaining to me how it is?" Dean countered.

She said, "Oh, Dean, get rid of those associations. Just because you see a scar on woman's face it doesn't mean a man beat her up. Maybe I hit him and he just hit me back." This possible explanation didn't help Dean relax, though. It sounded like she was joking. "All right; calm down. Don't get all protective. I don't need that. I can take care of myself." Dean knew she could but in was in his male nature to protect the weaker sex. Not in an I'm-a-man-and-I'm-stronger-than-you way; in a nobody's-gonna-hurt-you-as-long-as-I'm-here way. "I appreciate your getting mad at this unknown person, but nobody did anything you need to worry about."

"Please, don't tell me you bumped into a door or fell off the stairs. I'm not buying that bullshit."

She chuckled. Then she said ironically, "I would never. . . Fine, I'll tell you what happened. I got punched in the face," she admitted. Cassie was enjoying this stage when Dean had an image in his head that somebody hurt her and his brain was probably already coming up with ways of taking revenge on that stranger. At the same time it was funny; the event wasn't in reality dramatic at all and for Cassie, knowing precisely what happened, it was exciting to watch Dean and see how he would take learning that his assumption was wrong. "But it was not an attack," she said but immediately she corrected herself, "well, in a way it was. Anyhow, you know, now that I think about it, you can say it was a violent assault," Cassie joked as Dean was turning into Hulk.

"This is not funny."

"You don't like to be teased, do you?" His look was an answer. "Why are you so serious? Smile, Dean." Cassie did. And she tried to force Dean's mouth to mimic hers. "One day, your daughter will hate you."

"I don't have a daughter," Dean opposed, not getting her note.

"Oh, you don't say," she replied with sarcasm. "But really, if you're this serious and protective over somebody who'll soon become just some nobody that you used to know, how will you react when your future offspring will bring home a guy who . . . well, somebody like you? That would be perfect; I believe that you're exactly the kind of guy parents despise."

One, Dean didn't like Cassie talking about what was to him a distant future and two, he didn't like her changing the subject. "What happened to your eye?"

"Oh, we're still talking about that? When you do boxing, you get hit from time to time."

"Boxing? Since when you do boxing?"

"Jeez, I don't know. High school?"

"Why is this the first time I hear about it?" Dean asked, openly surprised to hear about her past-time activity just now. But he felt much better now that he knew it was a sport incident. He looked again at the injury; he even dared to touch it. She didn't move. She felt no pain at all. Then he looked in her eyes again, still waiting for that answer.

"I didn't tell you a lot of things. I don't like to brag," she joked.

"Why do you do it?" he wanted to know. "I mean boxing."

"Sometimes you just need to punch somebody in the face. As hard as you can. And I mean a real punch, not the fake ones you give each other in wrestling." Dean let that pass. "But I could ask you the same thing; why do you do wrestling?"

"It's my job," he replied. It was a good answer but it certainly wasn't the main reason why he was doing it.

"I don't get that much excitement in my job so I need to have something that keeps me alive." Cassie was enthusiastic to talk about it. She loved boxing. She loved all kinds of adrenaline activities.

"If you like it that much, maybe you could still make a career out of it. I know people . . ."

"I know people too, Dean. Remember? My brother's a professional boxer so I don't really need your connections. Besides, I used to do it professionally."

"Really?" Dean was still in a process of grasping this new information.

"I stopped. I chose something more serious instead."

"You used to be a boxer," Dean said, astonished.

"I don't get why it comes to you as such a big surprise. Have you never noticed the punching bag or the gloves in my living room?"

"I guess I thought they were your brother's."

"'Cause he keeps stuff at my place," Cassie said sarcastically.

Dean left that conversation. He focused on something else instead. "What will they say in a court room when they see you with _this_?" He touched the skin under her eye again.

"Probably they'll say '_Again?_'"

"You look badass," he complimented her.

Cassie chuckled. "That's not what they'll think."

"So your boss is used to you looking a little damaged?"

"Not exactly. They make me stop; I'm gonna . . . eventually. My boss forbade me to do boxing. I could actually lose my job because of _this_." She pointed at the injury.

"But you don't give a shit."

"I do. I care about my job. But I'm a lawyer; I can argue. I'm officially on a holiday; I can do whatever I want in my free time. There was not supposed to be a case I'd be working on."

"But . . ." Dean predicted the change in the direction of that sentence.

"But they ended my vacation and I need to go to work tomorrow. And everybody will see the bruise and the stitches and they'll think I got into a fight."

"To be fair, you did."

"Irrelevant, Dean."

"You think you can still win despite this?" Dean showed little belief.

"Of course I can. And I will. Wanna bet?"

"What happens when I lose?" he was curious.

"Oh, I'll think of something."

"What if I win?"

"I'll show you that picture." Dean smiled widely. This was appealing. She kept that picture hidden from him for months; at times he even doubted it existed.

"So it's real."

"Of course it's real. And it's safely hidden in my house."

"Who's seen it?"

"Nobody. What do you think? That I put it on the internet?" She fell silent. She wondered. "Do you think someone has? Not mine but . . . You have plenty of fangirls. It's possible that at least one of them drew a picture of your junk, or what she thinks it looks like, and put it on the internet. Do you have a phone on you?" she didn't even try to hide her intentions.

"No!" Dean protested before she could process to look for it herself. "You're not looking that up."

"Fine." She could do that later, anyway. You always find interesting stuff when you look up Dean Ambrose's name. "I'll let you know when the case is over. If I win it, I'll . . ." She still wasn't sure what she'd prepare for Dean if she wins. "I don't know what I'll do but I feel like scaring the shit out of you," she grinned. "If I lose the case, you'll get the picture. Anyway I don't think I should keep it. But we'll resolve this when the case's finished. Now let's finally get to running. I need a physical activity when the days of boxing are over."

"Why are you willing to give it up?" Dean was curious.

"Because I'm a lawyer. I need to look like a lawyer. And as much as I hate it, I have to do what it requires me to."

"But you could have chosen boxing, couldn't you?"

"I couldn't do boxing forever. Moreover, you know that I hate to lose."

"You compete as a lawyer too."

"Technically it's not me who loses; it's my client," she laughed. "But seriously, you'll get to the point when you need to set straight your priorities. Law or boxing? Renee or me?"

"What's that?" Maybe Dean should have seen that analogy coming but he didn't. And it felt like a betrayal.

"It's not a blackmailing or anything; I'm not saying I'll stop being friends with you if she stays your girlfriend; nothing like that." She wanted to make that clear at the beginning. "But there'll be a point when we'll need to stop this. You need to choose what you want. Who you care more about. You have to decide. Or not. It's Renee; we both know that. And rather sooner than later she'll become the reason why you dump me. Maybe she won't even know. But Dean, when you fall in love, everything and everyone else becomes secondary –"

"I'm not in love," he defended himself.

"I know. If you were, we wouldn't be here right now. Whenyou fall in love, you don't have time and you don't have the will to keep friendships that aren't essential. Ours isn't . . . And then, when it's over, I'll just say, _It was fun_. And we'll continue living our lives, separately, as we did before we met. Maybe just a little differently."


	63. Chapter 63

**Fun fact: Cassie was not supposed to be a regular in this story. She appeared randomly and randomly she was supposed to leave. But since I don't like when you can predict what's gonna happen, I changed it. She's still in the story thanks to one comment. **

**FYI: I had an ending in mind. Recently I've changed it. I'm gonna be honest with you; I might change it again. Several times. I still can't decide if I'd prefer a happy or not-so-happy ending (not sad though - I'm not gonna kill off anyone - God, I hope so :P). What would you prefer? **

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><p>"I feel bad for you," Dean admitted. "But it's funny, when you think about it." At that point Seth wasn't sure if Dean's empathy could be trusted. He was a master liar, for one thing. "When The Shield was still together, people thought that after we break up you'd be forgotten. They sympathized with you, Seth. And now . . . when you listen to the crowd you know that they –"<p>

Seth knew where he was going. "They hate me."

"They hate you," Dean repeated, as if he didn't hear Seth say it a second ago.

"It's even stranger that they root for you. But don't feel bad for me; I'm actually enjoying this. All the hate that I get . . . in a way it's better than being cheered."

Sure, at this stage when Seth was the one who betrayed his "brothers" he was far from being a favorite of the WWE Universe. But he had at least one fan. Well, he probably still had a lot of fans that loved him no matter what he did, but Dean knew one specific person who actually preferred Seth to both Roman and Dean, even thought he was portrayed as a heel. Cassie. It was the acrobatism of Seth that she admired the most. She, as a fan of all kind of sports, saw Seth as the living proof that wrestling isn't fake; that it deserves to be taken seriously and called a sport. What a pity that Seth's view of Dean's ex was the opposite; Seth was to Cassie a hero while she was to him Dean's ex, therefore a threat. Seth was on a good way to hate her, although possibly only abstractly. But Dean never told this to Cassie. Still, she probably knew.

As if Seth could read Dean's mind, he changed the subject to the girl that was a thorn in his eye. "By the way, how's your love triangle working out for you?" There was easily recognizable sarcasm and condemnation in Seth's way of asking.

But Dean didn't get mad. No; he smiled. Or grinned, actually.

"What are you so happy about?"

Dean laughed. "I'm an asshole; still everybody loves me." It wasn't really hilarious. It wasn't even funny. Seth didn't know how to perceive this information. It was concerning, but so was Dean's psychological state. All right; that sentence that Dean said was an exaggeration. No doubt about that. Dean put it rather extremely; the truth was milder. To being an asshole . . . it could always be worse; he could be a thug, criminal, or a cheater. He was none of those things. And as for everybody loving him, even if he had on mind only the two girls he had special relationships with, it wasn't true. Renee maybe, hopefully did still love him. Although there was a good chance that affection would end in the moment when she finds out about the other girl occupying his mind, if not his heart, too. But Cassie didn't love him. If only what had been spoken is the truth, then she never loved him. But Dean needed much less to be happy, as he was right now. Moreover, this complicated thinking was unfamiliar to him. His implication came from the fact that both Renee and Cassie were not openly mad at him and didn't ignore him. The person who had the right to be angry, when considering what she actually knew, was Cassie. But although Dean still hadn't talked to her, he knew it wasn't because of how he decided to end things between them few days, or weeks, ago. Anyway, it felt like a really long time; probably because he was used to talk to her on the phone or chat with her on some social site very frequently. When he was so desperate after days of not receiving any information about her that he used all the sources to find out what she was doing – he even called their common friend who lived in Vegas to check up on her – Twitter showed him the way. He found a picture submitted by Levi; it was possibly a holiday photo of them two from when they were just teenagers. Cassie and Levi were standing on a cliff, spreading their arms as to embrace the sky, below them only the ocean. It was a clear day, really sunny, but none of them was wearing sunglasses. They were in their swimming suits. They were looking ahead of them. Cassie had her long ginger-reddish hair loose. There was a smile on both Cassie's and Levi's faces; they looked really happy. Cassie was holding her hat with her hand. Despite the happiness, she seemed a little terrified. Posting the photo, Levi added a question, addressing his sister: "Do you remember what you said to me?" Dean found a response, too. She said, "One day I'll dare to jump." Few days later there was another photo posted, this time by Cassie. She was standing on the same spot, alone this time. She looked older but there was the same child-like happiness. She looked excited. She wrote, "Guess what's gonna happen now . . ." It was like a story to Dean. A story that he hoped to have a happy ending. He was worried; it was amazing height. But unlike in the previous picture, in this one there was no fear in her eyes; instead there was pure determination. And really, she did jump. Another picture was a proof of it. What came through Dean's mind was the wish to be there with her. He knew that would never happen but he desired to experience that carefreeness. Cassie was the epitome of everything's possible. She was the ultimate daredevil.

"Dean," Seth addressed him again. "Sort it out."

"I already have."

"Really?" Seth was skeptical. "So what's the result?"

"You'll see."

Seth sighed. "I don't wanna."

"What? Why?" Dean's enthusiasm was gone. Did Seth know something that he didn't?

"Because I already know how this story ends."

"Oh, really? Tell me, please."

"You'll end up alone." Dean's expression froze. He could have expected Seth to say something like that but he couldn't react differently. He was no longer able to comment sarcastically or any other way at all. That weakness surprised him. He felt a little terrified when he imagined Seth's scenario coming true. And Seth had more to say, to Dean's displeasure. "Your strategy sucks. Tell me, why all the lies and overcomplicated maneuvers? Keep it simple. Let go of what's of no use to you anymore. I don't want to see you and Renee break up; but you're balancing on thin ice, Dean, and one day, and it'll be rather sooner than later, it'll come back to you. Cassie will be gone; god I wish she never came into your life. Renee'll leave you as well. If you don't change your attitude, you'll really end up by yourself, with nobody by your side."

"Still waiting for the _I told you so_ moment, huh, Seth? You think that just because you're in a stable relationship for so long it won't turn against you? You're on the road for most of the year; what do you know what your girlfriend does when you're away? She can be cheating on you, for all you know. Or maybe you will. Or you already have."

Seth couldn't take that provocation; he slapped Dean. Afterwards came regret; but the reaction had been asked for. There was no apology on either side; just a concerned look.

Dean was the first to speak: "Maybe we shouldn't talk about our personal lives."

"That would probably save us a couple of disputes . . . I just . . ." Seth looked away to sort out his thoughts. "I just can't watch you screwing up your life like that. Hate me as much as you want for interfering, but I think that's what a friend should do; try to open up your eyes."

Since Seth refused to give this topic a break, Dean got ready for attack. At least the atmosphere was much calmer and there was no evidence of possible upcoming physical fight. "You know what I think of your _friendly interference_? You do it to make me feel guilty; you can't stand seeing someone reaching happiness an unconventional way."

"I just wanna be a good friend," Seth objected. Dean's explanation was illogical and far from reality to him.

"Then you have failed. Roman's a better friend because he doesn't consistently remind me of the _mistakes_," Dean made it clear that those mistakes were not really mistakes according to him, "that I do."

"Roman doesn't know what's happening. If he did, he'd –"

"He knows enough. But he doesn't care. Why should he? It's my life, not his."

"But . . ."

"Cassie's a better friend than you are. She puts my mind off all the problems. Sure, she gives me advice, but it's fucking _advice_, Seth, not an _order_."

"If she's so prefect, why aren't you with her, then?" Seth asked.

"Because I want Renee. Does that answer suffice? Or do I need to prepare an exhausting philosophical explanation? Give me two minutes."

"She deserves better than this asshole that she's dating."

"Jealous?"

Seth shook his head in disbelief; there was nothing else to say. It was hard to win a fight with Dean. At the end you leave with the thought _never again_; never again you'll try to help him.


	64. Chapter 64

There was a lot of hesitation considering how much was happening around Dean at the moment, but finally he decided to go to that car race. And as Renee had promised, she accompanied him there. It was a nice escape. One day that was spent without worrying; no work, no personal problems, no life struggles. Just Renee. Dean was surprised to see her enjoying their day off. She cheered for her favorite and Dean watched her. He was happy; truly happy. Finally he felt relaxed. Not that the race was boring but he could fall asleep right there in his seat. It was so wonderful.

After the race finished, Renee waited for some people to leave so that it wouldn't be so crowded at the entrance and then she stood up to leave too. Dean left his seat as well but he stopped Renee from turning toward the exit. "We're not leaving yet," he announced to her.

"No?" There was something excited about the way she asked. She seemed to have liked the event Dean took her to so much that she didn't want to leave just yet.

"We're meeting somebody."

The stadium was emptying out. Dean was holding Renee's hand as they made their way through the crowd. He was guiding her to safety. People were annoyed when he pushed them aside to pass by them and get to the front. Dean was enjoying pissing them off and Renee surprisingly found some pleasure in it too.

Renee knew better than to ask Dean where he was taking her or who they were meeting; he wouldn't tell her if she asked. He would just smile. It was fun for him to know more than others.

They approached an area where the unauthorized persons were not allowed. "And I guess you'll let us in," Renee spoke to him.

"Of course," he grinned.

"Are we meeting a rider that was in the race?" It seemed to make Renee glad if that were true. "Do you know any of them?"

"I know half of them."

"Is by any chance among them the one I wanted to win?" Her favorite rider in green car unfortunately ended forth; he missed the podium by less than two seconds.

"Bart? Maybe we could see him a little later. Right now I think he's pretty pissed for losing that third place."

The security stopped them; they were told they couldn't go any further. But Dean did some smooth-talking and showed the guy a pass. Immediately they got through. The security guy even apologized for inconvenience. Then there were no problems. Nobody looked at them because they'd find it weird for them to walk through the paddock.

"Don't you feel differently being here than when you're watching the riders from your seat?" Dean asked.

"I feel like I don't belong here."

Dean chuckled. He was used to being there so he found Renee's nervousness unusual but cute.

They turned left at the gate that belonged to winner of today's race.

"You know the winner?" Renee asked before they entered or saw the man of the day.

"We've been friends for a couple of years."

"That's cool."

Renee's reaction prompted Dean to wonder. "Isn't it strange? Once you're surrounded by stars you forget you're a star yourself."

"Don't worry, honey. I haven't forgotten who I'm dating."

"Good. Please remember it when you see those guys." Dean knew how they looked and what effect they often had on women. Renee wasn't like the other fans but still it was dangerous to bring her there.

"Is it me or are you a little insecure?" Renee teased him. Then she stroked his cheek but pulled her hand away when she noticed a guy walking toward them. He was in the black overall; his helmet was off. A part of the overall was unzipped and showed his chest. He walked briskly. There was smile on his face; of course, he was the winner.

"Dean! Great to see you here," he started speaking loudly even before they were close to each other. Then Dean and he greeted like old friends.

"This time without Cas–"

"Congrats to your fantastic race," Dean said in a hurry to avoid that sentence to be finished. It contained information that Renee didn't need to have; that this rider and others, too, were used to seeing Dean with Cassie. They were regulars to the races. Ever since she moved to Las Vegas and Dean took her there for the very first time she started to love it. And when Dean came to the city, they attended a race together. Never before had anybody seen Dean visiting the paddock without Cassie and vice versa.

"Thanks," the happy but confused winner responded. He watched Renee; she didn't seem to have noticed anything strange about his unfinished sentence. It was loud in there so that may have helped to avoid the uncomfortable, difficult-to-explain situation.

"Hi," the charming guy with blonde, wet hair addressed Renee. He offered his hand for official greeting. "I'm André." He gave Dean a short, sly look; it was his job to introduce them.

"Renee," she smiled back and accepted his hand.

"So Renee; are you a fan of mine?"

Dean was first to answer, "No. She actually wanted Bart to win."

Renee wasn't happy that Dean revealed the secret. "No," she refused the accusation. "Well, yeah," she changed her mind and said the truth. "But I don't know any of the riders. This is the first time that I'm here."

"I hope it won't be the last. There're never enough pretty girls here."

"Hey! Hey! Back off," Dean interrupted their discussion. "It's my girlfriend you're talking to."

"I think you should have started with that information," he joked. And to Renee, "He hates when I flirt with the girls he's here with."

Dean was on the alert. He shouldn't have said that. André shouldn't have said that in front of Renee. And André realized it himself. He sought a way out of the trouble he might have gotten Dean into. But Renee was quicker. "Does he bring a lot of girls here?" she asked. She wasn't angry but rather curious. Of course it didn't make her happy but it could have been worse.

"Well . . . no . . . not anymore . . . not since . . . how long have you been together?" So he evidently chose the _screw that_ strategy, after all.

Renee smiled. Dean was getting ready to kill him. Finally things were good between him and Renee again and now the guy who was supposed to mean no threat to their relationship was gonna mess it up for Dean? No way.

"Renee, darling, sweetheart, I swear I don't bring any random chicks here." For one thing, that was true.

"I didn't say anything," she defended herself. Despite everything, she kept her relatively good mood. "Breathe, Dean. You're safe." She smiled at him. Then added, half-jokingly, "For now."

Afterwards she looked at the rider that was still in their short distance although pretending to looking for something. Now that the fight was averted, he returned with all the consciousness to the guests. "So what do you do, Renee?" he asked.

"I'm a broadcaster. I work with Dean. But I guess he omitted that information as well."

"To be fair, he's not once spoken of your existence."

"Now you do it on purpose, don't you?" Dean attacked.

"He's just jealous," André explained Dean's behavior to Renee. "He's a generally jealous type of guy."

"Bullshit," Dean uttered. But they both knew better. Dean was not only jealous when a guy flirted, or just talked, to his girlfriend. Maybe it wasn't a rule but he also got jealous when guys flirted with his ex-girlfriend. At least when André flattered Cassie. It worked perfectly to piss off Dean. And André, as a true friend, enjoyed it. Cassie did as well; she didn't mind much how protective of her Dean was although they were long apart.

"André," a guy holding a shirt called at him. André turned around. "You need to sign this," he said and handed him the shirt and a marker.

"Could I get an autograph too?" Renee asked.

André smiled, "Sure. Where would you like to get it? Photograph, T-shirt, or would you like it on a part of your body?" he asked, perfectly teasing Dean.

For a second she considered the last option, but after seeing Dean's annoyed face she decided for the photograph. "You seemed to be used to giving out autographs," Renee noticed. His hand was steady even when he was signing that T-shirt basically in the air.

"I have won most of the races this season. And I'm the last year's champion," he let her know.

"Good luck for the rest of the races."

"It's not the good luck that makes me pass the finish line first." André leaned toward her, speaking more quietly, almost whispering, as to tell her a secret. "You wanna know why I win and not them?" he pointed at nobody in precision but Renee got it. She shook her head, interested in the answer. He said, still pointing, "Married. Married. Engaged. Two children. Steady relationship." Then he pointed with the finger on his left hand at himself. "I'm single. I'm fully committed to the racing. Nothing can distract me."

"Nobody awaits you at home," Renee countered.

André smiled. "True. But then again," He reached for the object on the table nearby. "I got this." And he showed his trophy. Seeing Renee's non-understanding look, he said, "I know what you think right now. _Gosh, of course he's single when he's so cocky._ But you know, few of us are so lucky that they find somebody worth sacrificing their career for. Maybe when I find that person, I'll stop winning and be a loving husband instead. Until then . . ." The end of that sentence never came.

That year was his last at the circuit. He became a champion. Unfortunately he broke his collar bone at the last race of the season and another injury from motocross in his spare time stopped him from sitting down behind the wheel again. At least not professionally. So in the end it wasn't falling in love that prevented him from winning. But that came too. And he really became a loving husband. And his wife was one of the girls that came to see him after the race. But she wasn't a fan. Not at first. She was just a former girlfriend of his good friend.


	65. Chapter 65

It's been only few days since he saw her but he already missed her. America. Although he spent most of the year travelling, it didn't come to him as such a problem because he was still in his homeland; no matter how big it was. But flying all the way to Japan and seeing fans so different from the typical Americans, he got homesick. Moreover, WWE had shows in Canada before that, so he was away from home for too long.

"Finally I don't feel too tall," Dean mumbled when he returned to the States.

"Starting to feel short again?" Roman teased him.

"You're the same height."

"I never said I didn't want to be taller; I'd welcome a couple more inches."

That was when Erick Rowan sneaked behind their backs. "Do I make you uncomfortable?" he asked in a creepy voice.

Dean wished that Kane appeared and showed him, but who knows where he was. He probably had something better to do than talking about height.

"Fuck off," Roman said to Rowan. He sounded annoyed and bored, the way he did on TV. Making you believe he was better than the rest; making you like him and his slackness. When Erick Rowan was gone, Roman started to wonder. "What now?"

"Nothing."

"I'm so tired, you wouldn't believe. I want to lie down in bed and sleep for the rest of my life."

"Nobody's got time for that," Dean cancelled his dreamy plans.

"You got something better to do?"

"I have plans with Renee. New York and stuff."

"Wow. You must have put a lot of thinking into it," Roman replied sarcastically.

"Maybe I have." Judging by Dean's mysterious smile he could have had something planned. But then again, Dean's face, as much as his words, was often misleading. One could never say if he was telling the truth.

Roman sighed. "I hoped you, Seth, and I could go to a bar or something . . . you know, like good old times. Where is he anyway?"

"Phew, like I care."

Dean's disgust with hearing his former partner's name grabbed Roman's attention. "What's between you two? You don't talk; you don't hang out. Is it just me or is there really hostility?"

"You know him."

"That's why I'm asking. I bet there's a reason he's acting like that."

"Don't get me wrong, but what I appreciate about you is your not digging into other persons' problems, so please let's not open this topic. Thank you." The case was closed for Dean. Roman just shrugged his shoulders. He respected Dean's privacy. Moreover, sometimes it's better not to know. Let the kids resolve their problems. Only when the fight erupts it's time for intervention. Until then, live happily in ignorance.

* * *

><p>Dean flung the door open and stormed into the room. Everybody looked at him. His face was red with anger. He was clenching his fists and then opening them up again, stretching his fingers; as if warming up his hands for a fight. With the laser eyes he searched the room, from left to the right. Not a single soul wished to be looked at. They were all wrestlers, not rarely portrayed as brave superheroes, but now they were getting scared. They were wondering what got him that mad and if they were his target. They hoped not. He looked furious. Now he was a real lunatic, and more than one person would like to see him in a straightjacket.<p>

Then he found the victim, or the culprit in his eyes, and at first walked briskly, then started running his way. Seth stood still. He was less terrified than the rest but nobody who saw him in that moment could call him calm, either. Still, he was aware of his crime and bravely waited for Dean to say whatever was on his heart. Unfortunately, Dean didn't feel like _talking it out_. His fist hit Seth's left cheek. And so that the other one wouldn't feel left out it received its punishment too. The right. The left. The fast strikes were coming from both sides and quickly got Seth on the floor. It reminded a scene from the ring. Some people even whispered, "Are they shooting a promo?" No. This was real. And it felt real for Seth. Dean definitely didn't hold back. "Separate them," someone called out when the missing cameras made it clear that this was not something they would later show on Raw. "What the hell got into him?" Questions about Dean's sanity were coming from all sides. People didn't understand. Dean and Seth were friends. The post-Shield conflicts belonged on the screen, not the backstage. Had Dean turned into his gimmick? Actors sometimes forget where the line between the character and their real personality is. Maybe the same thing happened to Dean. But Dean and Seth knew it wasn't like that. He had a reason for attacking Seth. . . . And it wasn't a steel chair that once landed on Roman's back.

Dean felt hands on the shoulders trying to put him away from Seth. Everybody saw Seth as a victim. The fact that he didn't counterattacked or didn't even defend himself very believingly made them sure he was in this innocently.

"You went too far, Seth," Dean shouted after the audience's successful interference. He could no longer reach him. Seth was safe.

"Calm down," several voices ordered him. Dean didn't care who stopped him; he kept watching his enemy. The enemy was calm. Maybe even calmer than before. Maybe there was guilt in his eyes. Seth might have realized Dean was right. But he did what he had to do; what was best for everybody.

"Seth, you're all right? Did he get you?"

"Of course he got him!" somebody answered.

"I'm fine," Seth said. This publicity wasn't good, he thought. Dean should have chosen a better time and place, without all the people. But Seth knew Dean; Dean wouldn't plan the attack. What he cared about what might others think if this happens? He acted passionately, without thinking twice.

"If we were alone, you'd be dead."

* * *

><p>"Fine," Roman agreed. "Do whatever you want." He yawned. He really was tired. "Enjoy New York," he wished Dean before they both went their own way.<p>

* * *

><p>Time was short. The moment Dean arrived to New York, he felt like forgetting about sight-seeing and going to Renee's place instead. Then spend the whole time in bed. With her, of course. But promise is promise. And he wasn't a lazy piece of shit, either.<p>

First, he took her to a dinner. It was a nice restaurant but not too noble. Dean never favored places when you needed to pay fortune just to get a reservation there. You had to dress appropriately; jeans were out of question. And sure, Dean was from time to time willing to put on formal clothes but not more often than necessary. Besides, those first-classes restaurants stank when it came to the staff and their behavior toward you. If it was up to Dean completely, if he wasn't with Renee, a hot dog from a street stand would do. Maybe it wasn't the best for your health but who gives a damn? Body's gonna take care of it.

Still, Dean was convinced that he did everything right. And he was acting nice, too. That was why he found it strange that Renee lacked enthusiasm. She didn't even touch her food. "Aren't you hungry?" he asked.

"No."

"Are you sick."

"No, I'm fine."

"Aren't you happy to be with me?" Dean asked, worried. Her sad mood was making him sad too. And sooner he'd find a reason behind her sadness, sooner he could make her happy. At least in theory.

Renee did her best to smile. She swallowed before she replied, "I am."

"Then?"

"I'm tired."

Dean smiled; it wasn't that bad. It was something he could change or make her forget about. "You're not the only one. But we'll get to the bed eventually," he joked, "after a little trip."

"I don't feel like taking a trip."

"Renee, don't be like that. I'm doing it for you," he had to silence his voice because the waiter came to their table.

"Madam, are you finished?"

Renee nodded, and the waiter quickly took her full plate away. Dean looked at her worryingly; her face seemed to be in pain. "Are you sure you're all right?" Renee waited if he didn't offer going home instead of continuing with their date, which wasn't so far very successful.

When Dean didn't say more, she answered with simple, "Yes." She didn't feel like talking, either.

Dean had to watch her; he really started to worry about her. She wasn't moving, not even breathing movements were visible. She lowered all her survival needs to minimum. Her eyes were set on nothing in particular and her skin was pale. There was no remainder of a smile.

"Look at me," he pleaded. She stayed stale. "Look at me," he repeated. Finally she answered his urgent prayer. Her eyes were calling for help. Two small dots lost in a vague emptiness. Dean wasn't experienced enough to tell the difference between physical and mental exhaustion. But no matter what was happening, he needed to do something before it was too late.

"Let's get you some air," he said and immediately stood up to guide her out. He held her tightly for he wasn't sure if she wouldn't fall to the floor if he used any less strength. He felt responsible. As her boyfriend, it was his responsibility to take care of her.

When they got out, he watched her. He looked to her front and to her back, as if a physical reason for her weakness existed and could be found. But there were no signs. No scars, no bruises. She was all right. In a way. Dean stroked her cheek and held her hand. His eyes were looking into hers; when they had the chance; when she allowed them to.

"Can you stand?" Dean asked as if she was a little child and needed his guidance. But he was just caring.

"I'm fine, Dean." She didn't want to say more. Her voice was cold and distant. She didn't ask for his help. If he let her stand there without his holding her, she wouldn't fall. And she wouldn't faint, either. Maybe it appeared to Dean that Renee was physically weak and at any moment she could lose consciousness, but in reality she knew very well what was happening around her. And she also knew the catalyst of her state of abnormality. No, she wasn't sick. On the other hand, saying that she was tired wasn't a lie. But she didn't bother telling her boyfriend what the problem was. If he cares that much, why doesn't he figure it out by himself?

"I need to cheer you up," Dean said. Why, she wondered. Laughter is not solution to everything. It's just a distraction from the real problem.

Maybe she should have said she didn't want to go anywhere. She wanted to be at home. But the matter was, alone. Not with Dean. If she told him she wanted to go home, he'd go with her. And he'd stay there. And he'd want to get all he could out of privacy. After all, it was better to follow him blindly wherever he'd planned to go, whatever he'd planned to do. All he could do among people was to kiss her. Softly; nothing too adventurous. She could survive that. Maybe if she tried hard enough, she could even make him believe she was enjoying it. But was it worth pretending? Why to put so much energy into something you don't care about?

Renee didn't even know how they got there, she was too apathetic to keep on track with what was going on, but now she was standing on the top of the Empire State Building. Was that Dean's "big plan?" Was that it? Or was there more? Please, don't let there be more, she begged. The Empire State Building was a well-known symbol. Just as the Golden Gate was a favorite place of people who wanted to commit a suicide, the Empire State was where people often chose to propose. Please don't let that happen, was a thought that kept on repeating in Renee's head, as her hands searched Dean's pockets for a ring. Her heart's beating was only calmed down by finding nothing.

"Are you looking for something?" Dean couldn't not notice her busy fingers. Maybe she found the lost enthusiasm, he hoped.

"Just checking."

Dean looked around. It was clear to him. "Aha, you think that I took you here to . . ." he didn't finish. The end of that sentence was predictable enough.

Renee turned around and mumbled, "That's the last thing I want to happen."

Dean didn't notice her comment; it was better that way. He expanded on his thought, "I wanted to visit this place with you; with someone I care about. I know you've been here before, and I was here too, but I thought it'd be more special if we were together." Dean could have kept on talking but Renee didn't seem very interested in what he was saying; she walked toward the edge and stopped to look at the beautiful view. It was supposed to be beautiful but it looked casual. Right next to her there was a couple taking a look at the same landscape, but those two people were somehow more pleased by it. They were smiling, holding hands, really enjoying each other's presence. On the other hand, Renee's face was much closer to scowling and her eyes'd much more prefer being shut. But her feet were steady and she was in charge of her body as much as of her emotions. She wouldn't break down; she had everything under control. That didn't mean, though, that she wanted to build walls around her and let nobody in.

Turning around, she looked to both sides, then into his eyes for a short instant. "This place's not so bad after all," she said, and added to Dean's already existing confusion.

"Maybe it'll make you feel better."

"It can't make me feel better," she replied skeptically.

"Then maybe I can," Dean tried his luck and kiss her. She wouldn't let him. And he started to think the reason wasn't possible illness. Not even weariness. "Are you mad at me?" That was the most probable explanation of her behavior.

"I don't know."

"So yes."

Renee tilted her head to one side in annoyance and let out a deep sigh. "I'm confused; I don't know what to think. How should I feel, Dean? One day you say you love me, and a little later I learn that you keep in touch with your ex. And there's a question that won't leave me alone. Why is she still in your life?"


	66. Chapter 66

"Why did you tell her?" Dean asked.

"I had to."

"Why?" he kept on asking. But it wasn't anger that filled his mind and fuelled that question. It was desperation. The whole world was breaking apart right now.

Seth has already regretted telling Renee about Cassie. But before he did, it seemed like a good idea to him, or at least a right thing to do. Even after he said it, he was glad that he did. Renee said it herself that it was better that way. Well, better that she knew about . . . her. But now Seth wasn't sure. What had he caused? "Did you two break up?"

* * *

><p>"Renee," Seth called out her name as soon as he spotted her. He was waiting for this moment for long and right now he had the courage to say what became a burden to his mind. "You have a minute?"<p>

"Sure, I can find a minute." She was evidently busy, looking through some papers that she had in her hands. But politely she stopped reading and started focusing on Seth. There was something urgent about his look. And even if there wasn't, she'd find time for him.

"Could you . . ." instead of saying what he wanted he pulled her aside. And then he dragged her even further away so that they'd have privacy.

"What, are you gonna tell me a secret?" she asked cheerfully. Seth's face was far less enthusiastic. This was a duty, not a pleasure, for him.

"Look, Renee, this is gonna be tough," he started. He hadn't planned the way he'd say it or the words he'd use to explain what was happening. Nevertheless, Seth still believed he had to tell her. If Dean wasn't gonna, then he would.

"Seth? Renee? What are you doing here, guys? Who are you hiding from?" Roman, mysteriously appearing out of nowhere, wondered.

"Just chatting," Seth replied. If he told Roman what he was about to do, he might have never gotten to do it. Roman's opinion on this situation might have been different; and it probably was. "Could you leave us alone?" Seth asked very nicely so that Roman wouldn't find it suspicious.

Too late. "I don't know, Seth. I feel I should check up on you two. You know, for Dean's sake."

Renee smiled. "Don't worry, Ro. If it gets too intimate, Dean will be here in an instant. Even if he was on the other side of the world."

Seth and Roman looked at each other. "True that," laughed Seth.

"But I'll stay around, " Roman, maybe not totally convinced, or maybe just having fun, added, "just in case."

As soon as he was out of sight, Seth returned to the serious look that dominated his face before.

"This is not something personal, is it?" Renee asked, expecting a negative answer.

"It is. But not in a you-should-break-up-with-Dean kind of way. Although . . ." Each second Seth's confidence was fading more and more and he realized that if he didn't say what he had on his heart right away, he might change his decision and don't say it at all.

"Now I'm worried."

"I am, too. That's why I'm telling you."

"What has he done?" That was what came first to Renee's mind. Dean had to do something bad.

Why now, one may ask. Seth has known about Cassie long enough to tell Renee this information earlier, but he stayed quiet. Until now. So why to change it out of a sudden? It wasn't because Dean pissed him off; that happens at least twice a week. In reality, Seth stopped believing Dean's story that Cassie was nothing more than his friend. Seth never absolutely believed that in first place, he had his suspicions. But yesterday he found a reason a worry. Immediately he started to question both Dean's honesty and faithfulness to Renee. And she, as his girlfriend, had the right to know and put an end to the era of Cassie.

"Dean's . . ." Words were getting stuck in his throat. This was harder that he thought it would be. "He's lying to you." Renee didn't seem surprised. Not even worried. That found Seth strange. He gave her a few seconds to absorb this information. But the expression that he looked for he never found. Maybe it was because she knew her boyfriend better than Seth thought. It wasn't unusual of Dean to lie, so why should that information surprise her?

"That's why you dragged me to this dark corner?"

"Fine." It was time to change strategy. Be more honest and more precise. Tell the truth and don't sugarcoat it. "Dean's still in contact with Cassie. They hang out, talk on the phone, he visits her each time he goes home . . ."

"Wait, wait, wait! Who?"

"Cassie? Cassandra, Cassidy . . . I don't know her full name."

"Who's that?" asked Renee. Still not alarmed. There was no reason to be.

"Dean's ex-girlfriend?" Seth's voice raised into a question, reflecting his bewilderment over Renee's forgetting about her mortal enemy. But maybe it was only Seth who perceived her that way.

"So . . ." Now she was confused. She didn't pay much attention at the beginning of Seth's confession and it was a mistake. Now she didn't know what was going on. "What about her?" But to Seth's joy, Renee was starting to get the urgency of the situation.

Then Seth started to speak. He told her about everything. Everything he knew about. Well, almost. There were things that he skipped because, after all, Dean was still his friend, and so was Renee. Maybe she looked strong, and she surely was, but even in the strongest body can be a weak soul. Besides, although Seth was aware that the actions he was undertaking would very likely jeopardize his friends' relationship, he still wanted it to survive. It probably didn't look like that, but Seth believed that Dean and Renee were good together and that their relationship may have a successful ending. So his strategy was to present facts; not to say something that may be true but he had no evidence for. And in the end, Seth wanted Renee to make the final evaluation; to have the chance to decide how to handle the situation and what steps to take in result of the news.

* * *

><p>"Dean! Did she break up with you?"<p>

"What?!" Dean regained the strength and full consciousness. Now there was anger. Anger at himself, his friend, and the whole world. "You suddenly care?"

"I always have."

"That's why you told her I'm cheating on her?"

"I've never said that. Dean, listen to me now." Seth tried to make Dean look at him. But when he succeeded, he realized it'd be better to never see those eyes. Eyes of an endangered one. But it was an endangered _animal_, a lion perhaps, a strong one that'd fight for its existence. Fight till the very end. After all, you fight best when you have nothing to lose. "I had to tell her. I said I would, remember?" He was right; but it was so long ago that Dean'd forgotten about it. But it didn't change anything. It didn't entitle him to do this criminal act.

"I don't care what you said. Words are words . . . they cannot be trusted. But what I care about is your fucking actions. _Unjustified_ actions. What the fuck you think gives you the right to interfere in my relationship?"

"That picture. Or _pictures._ _I_ could have believed you had no intentions in having sex with her, but what I saw proved I'd be wrong if I thought that."

"What pictures?" Dean didn't understand.

"The ones that you keep in your phone. The ones where she's wearing nothing but lingerie. And then the ones where she's wearing nothing at all," answered his question Seth.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. You're going crazy or what?"

"Lend me your phone," Seth insisted. He wasn't making this up. Those pictured existed; Seth saw them yesterday when he borrowed Dean's phone to check his emails; and if Dean didn't suddenly erase them, they were still there.

At first Dean hesitated. He believed that there were no such pictures, but Seth seemed to be sure. Why would he lie? But in the end, Dean decided to give him the phone to find the evidence. And with sweat on his forehead, he watched Seth flicking threw the images. Dean was getting nervous; could those picture that Seth kept talking about be real?

"Aha, here," Seth triumphantly declared, and handed Dean his own phone. And yes, those pictures were real. And there were some where Cassie was totally naked. Dean had seen them before but definitely not lately. They were from times when she was still his girlfriend, therefore it was nothing scandalous. Unfortunately, Dean never deleted them. He should have, but what he remembered? No. It didn't matter to him then. Just because he had a chance to look at his ex-girlfriend, not to omit _naked_, every day didn't mean he did that. Dean was fully committed to his current relationship with Renee; maybe not the way most people were, but he was.

"That's an old photo," Dean countered, but Seth didn't give a fuck.

"So what?"

"We were still together when she sent me that."

"Doesn't change the fact that you still have it."

"I forgot to delete it."

"Maybe you didn't want to."

Dean didn't like how Seth was treating him. In his eyes, he was a liar, a cheater, a deceiver. Someone who doesn't deserve the chance to be listened to without prejudice. "Seth, if I said I slept with Cassie, you'd believe it. Immediately. Without question. But when I say I didn't, you think I'm lying."

"You never got rid of those pictures . . ." Seth kept rubbing that in his face.

"Fuck your pictures!" Dean smashed his phone into the floor. Neither of them looked at it, or at what remained of it. "I'm not cheating on Renee." Dean spoke slowly, with emphasis on each word. Then he realized something. He had to know. "Did you tell Renee about this?" His tone was a little more friendly than before. Maybe because of how critically he needed that information; and more importantly for it to be negative.

"No."

Dean sighed. Good. Now that'd be a disaster. Somehow knowing that Renee had no idea about the pictures that were now gone for good made Dean feel better, relaxed. Even the bitter hatred of Seth was disappearing. Well, there was nothing left to do, anyway. The damage was done. And hostility wouldn't solve anything.

Then Seth returned to the essential question. "So what did she say?"


	67. Chapter 67

"Why is she still in my life?" Dean repeated her question. "You can't ask me that." Why was he so calm? Didn't he realize what was happening? Renee knew. She knew! This was not supposed to happen. This was terrible; didn't he see it? The nightmare coming true . . . but Dean breathed normally. One could say he was calmer than before. The bottom line was now he knew what was wrong with Renee. Nothing, that's what. Her reaction was absolutely understandable; maybe even a little temperate.

"What should I ask, then? If you're cheating on me?" Maybe the first question was better, but this one was easier to answer.

"I'm not cheating on you." He couldn't tell whether she believed him or not. He said it again, "I'm not cheating on you, Renee. Do you trust me?"

"_Can_ I trust you?" she countered.

"If you doubt that then I really don't know what we're doing here."

"Neither do I."

They looked at each other. They felt like in a vacuum. Those people that were in reality standing all around them did not exist in their universe. Not even the noise could be heard in place they were occupying. Their universe was calm, peaceful. But that was far from how it was supposed to look like. "This is not how it's supposed to be," even Renee noticed.

"What do you want to do; fight?"

"No. I don't know. Maybe. Isn't fighting a sign that it matters to you?"

"Renee, _you_ matter to me. _Our relationship_ matters to me. But if you don't trust me, everything that I say is meaningless."

She thought about it. She had imagined that this would go differently; not that they would necessarily argue, but Dean should have fought for her and for their love . . . or whatever it was. Why doesn't he say _no, it's not like that_. Why doesn't he scream, shout that he loves her and her only? From when does he care about the people that could hear him? Or maybe that was not the problem. Maybe when he said he loved her he didn't really mean it. Either way, Renee wanted some clarification.

"So what? You give up? You're not even gonna _try_ to make me forgive you?"

"Forgive me? What's there to forgive? I didn't cheat on you, for Christ's sake! I didn't do anything wrong."

Renee had nothing to say to that. Dean's strategy, whatever it was, surprised her; she wasn't ready for it. _Well, you didn't do anything right, either_, she could have said. But she didn't. She was taken back by lack of Dean's apology. And his expressionless face. He didn't feel threatened; at least it didn't appear so.

"Fight, damn it!"

"Or it's over," he finished instead of her. And astonishment took charge of her face. She was speechless.

* * *

><p>Dean was back with Seth. "What did she say?" Seth kept asking. "Did she break up with you?" he wanted to know. Know, not for it to happen.<p>

But instead of giving him a straight answer, Dean concluded, "I'm not good at relationships."

"Is that what _Renee_ said?" Screw you, Dean, Seth thought to himself, just say it! Seth couldn't handle not knowing if they were still together or not. Was it so difficult to say? Yes, we're done. No, there's still a chance.

"No," Dean finally replied.

"Then? What happened next?"

* * *

><p>Renee couldn't believe how calm he was. Did she matter to him at all? It looked like he didn't care about anything anymore.<p>

"I'm sorry, Renee. I don't want it to be over. Please, forget about what I have said. Let's start over."

She looked away. What was he thinking, how did all of this work? You don't get a second chance. But he didn't seem to get it.

"You were asking, why is she still in my life?" Dean started "over," even without her permission. "She's not. Okay? I'm done with her."

"Really?"

Dean was glad that at least he was able to get her to respond. He smiled, although he knew she wouldn't. "Yes," Dean assured her.

There was a sign of happiness behind that unreadable face. But sooner than it could become visible, it disappeared. "You don't want to stop seeing her. If you did, you'd cut her off your life much sooner."

Dean wasn't sure what to say. "But . . ." He really didn't have much to tell her to that. For one thing, it was true.

"If you do it now, it'll be because of me."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Yes; of course it's a bad thing. I don't know what you feel toward her, but I know that as soon as we, you and I, get into an argument, she'll become the one to run to."

"You have no reason to think that." Then Dean took a deep breath. This wasn't good. "You really don't trust me." And she didn't prove him wrong. "Again. Why is she still in my life? Because we're friends; nothing more."

"Dean, you cannot start over each time you get somewhere you don't like. It doesn't work like that."

"I don't care how it _usually_ works. I won't stop until I'll make you see there's nothing to worry about."

"Is there not? Really? You broke up with her to be with me. How can I be sure this scenario won't repeat?"

"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't break up with her; she broke up with me."

"How exactly is that supposed to make me feel better?" Wrong strategy, Dean. Really wrong. Renee was pissed and it was getting worse each minute. She didn't want to be there. And for that matter, she didn't want to be in his presence, either.

He tried to follow her but it was soon clear that it was better to give her some time and space. What's the point of getting the chance to say something when you have nothing to say? Dean had to think about it too. What would be the best way to approach this? He couldn't just keep saying what popped in his head; that would only get him single. As for now, they were still a couple, and Dean didn't want to jeopardize it more than he already had.

* * *

><p>"So you're still in the middle of the fight?" Seth asked.<p>

"Thanks to you," Dean pointed out.

"But you're still together. I didn't cause your break up." Seth was somewhat happy about that. That was the bottom line that stopped his regretting the decision to tell Renee about Cassie's ongoing presence in Dean's life.

"Not yet. If we break up, it'll be because of you; I'm sure of that. It won't be because of Cassie or something that I do. You will be the reason."

Seth groaned, "Get your eyes off your ass and look around you real good. You're the one who's messing up everything he touches. Your ex was supposed to stay your ex only and not become your friend. And Renee . . . you should try harder to keep her around. She'll be gone before you snap your fingers if you keep putting all the blame on me instead of fixing what you've broken. I mean, was getting your hands on me more important than getting Renee to forgive you? Fuck you and your priorities, Dean." Seth didn't mind getting a little beaten by Dean; it wasn't totally fair of him to tell on Dean and not even warn him about it afterwards. But now that the brawl between them was over, it was time for Dean to go fix problems somewhere else. Maybe revenge is in human nature but so should be trying to make right what you've done wrong. As long as there's a chance you need to keep trying. "Or, are you scared?" Seth guessed when Dean kept standing there, without intentions to leave and go find his girlfriend. "Worried that she will not want to listen to your lies and decides to break up with you instead?"

"I wouldn't lie to her," Dean reacted to only one part of that question.

"You want to keep living in impression that everything's fine . . . but it's not," Seth added in emphatic whisper.

"Whose side are you on?" he questioned his buddy's intentions.

"Justice, of course." Seth grinned. "Look, I'd love for you two to be together but Renee has every right to dump you."

"Sometimes I think that you'd like her to be with _you_."

Seth kept on smiling; this was flattery to him. "I wouldn't date someone you have; I'd automatically assume they suck at picking their partners," he joked. But at least in that moment, he really meant the first part. "Seriously now, go talk to her. I'm sure she'll forgive you for keeping that dirty secret called Cassie. Also," he got even more serious, "I hope you'll forgive me for telling her. I know it was . . . childish of me. And thinking it was the right thing to do was but a stupid excuse. Besides, I shouldn't have automatically assumed that because you still have some pictures of your ex in your phone, you're keeping them intentionally. And that you could be cheating on Renee. I'm truly sorry," Seth said sincerely. "I promise that from now on I won't interfere in your life. I mean it."


	68. Chapter 68

Dean was determined to keep trying. But Renee wouldn't make it any easier for him. "I don't have time for you now," she kept sending him away. It didn't make a difference if she was actually busy or not. She always found something better to do. Before, she'd welcome an argument; definitely more than that awkward "conversation." It was a disaster and a huge let down by Dean. So what that now he wanted to talk about it? Even if he finally decided to tell her everything, right from the beginning, and without a single lie, Renee didn't want to hear it. Not now. Not in front of everybody.

"Just hear me out."

"No," she smiled because there were people watching.

"You don't need to act as nothing is happening." She really was. There was a smile on her face, clearly a fake one. It was so that nobody could suspect anything. Or she believed if she pretended to be happy, she would really start feeling that way.

"It's called professionalism," replied Renee.

"No. It's called not being able to face the reality! What? You don't want to make a scene?" Dean suddenly spoke more loudly. He was getting close to shouting. "Scream at me!"

In reality he was the one screaming. And Renee didn't like it at all. Moreover, a little girl appeared behind her.

"Rebecca," cried Dean. "Damn it!" he said to himself. He totally forgot about her. So much happened lately that this escaped his memory. Normally Renee would probably remind him that Rebecca would accompany them in the backstage, but since it wasn't looking very brightly for the relationship of them two, she left Dean out of this.

Dean calmed down. Now he needed to borrow some of Renee's professionalism. Joy replaced anger in his face. The mind also needed to change the approach. It was a little kid he was talking to now, not a grown-up woman. _And watch your language,_ Dean reminded himself.

"Rebecca," he kneeled to get on her level and then called her name. The transition was complete; the child-friendly version of himself was ready to be used. "Good to see you again. How you like it here?" Dean chose not to look up at Renee because he could already see her disgusted look. Those million faces of her boyfriend . . . how she despised them; especially now.

The poor little girl didn't know how to respond. She was still in a shock of the Dean Ambrose she witnessed a moment ago.

"She's scared of you," Renee commented and made Dean look into her eyes for a brief second.

"Sweetheart," Dean addressed the girl, "you're safe here. Look around. You see those people? Every one of them is stronger than anyone you know." He soothed her, "And they won't allow anyone to even touch you. You don't need to be scared at all."

"But . . . you screamed."

"That's professional deformation," Dean smiled in hope to get that smile on her face, too. "You know wrestling. You sometimes have to raise your voice. For the effect."

"Like when you scream at Seth Rollins?" she asked.

"Yeah," Dean replied. He deliberately omitted that those two scream at each other even when there're no cameras around. But he said, "And then you sometimes forget than you're not in the ring and raise your voice anyway. And I'm sorry for that. Sorry to you . . . and sorry to you," he said to Renee. He got the most eye contact he was able to get in the past days. Then he turned to Rebecca, "So tell me, dear, who you got to meet so far?"

Somehow Dean got the girl relaxed. She answered his question without hesitation. "Randy Orton, John Cena, Dolph Ziggler, Seth Rollins . . . Seth is different now," Rebecca noted.

Dean laughed. "No, he's not."

"You're different too."

Dean thought and then said, "We all change . . . mostly on the outside. But on the inside we're still the same."

"Don't get philosophical, Dean," Renee said.

"Is she mad at you?" Rebecca was quick to notice.

"Ask her," was Dean's "clever" response. Also, he wanted to know what Renee would say now that Rebecca was there to hear her every word.

"Are you mad at him?"

Now Renee had to think twice before answering that question. Was she mad at him? Of course. But if she replied positively, another question would follow. Why?

"Maybe," she finally said. Then added, "But you don't need to worry about that."

"Are you gonna break up?" Rebecca wouldn't let Renee breathe. She knew it would be Renee who'd answer – at her the question was directed, after all – but Rebecca looked at Dean as well. She was curious to see his reaction and she'd also like to know his opinion.

After long enough waiting, the answer still didn't come. Renee didn't know what to say. For that matter, she didn't know what to do, either. This was tough, just as Seth predicted.

"No," Dean spoke.

It was hard to notice but this single word cheered Renee up a little. It showed her what Dean wanted and that he was willing to fight for it, after all. She was even tempted to say – when Rebecca kept looking at her – "You heard him." But that would be too simple. The break up wasn't out of question just yet.

Dean looked at his girlfriend. Finally there was no antipathy or anger. This was the right time, Dean thought to himself.

When he turned to Rebecca, he told her, eye to eye, "Wait here for a sec, okay?" And added, "And make sure Renee doesn't go anywhere either." He smiled at the little girl to settle the agreement. Then he stood up and walked away.

He came no more than a minute later, and he was accompanied by Roman Reigns. He had no idea where was Dean taking him. Roman kept saying something like, "You think I have nothing to do?" It was stupid of Dean to assume that everybody'd find time for him. But then again, he didn't care; he was sure that he had a special talent to make others do whatever he wanted them to. And most of the time it really worked.

Rebecca and Renee were waiting at the same spot. Renee was holding the girl by her hand and didn't let go even when she noticed the guys approaching them quickly.

"Rebecca," Dean addressed her happily, "this is Roman. You know Roman Reigns, right?" he asked dramatically, especially when pronouncing his buddy's name.

She nodded. Roman's height and build made her uncomfortable, even terrified – he was intimidating for sure – and she lost the ability to speak. That was when Dean realized something he had forgotten about. This girl was unable to speak the last he saw her. She didn't say a single word for the whole time he and Renee visited her at her house. Now, not that much later, she talked to Dean without any problem. Dean didn't even notice anything strange when he heard her speak; her speech was clear. Normal. As if there was never a problem. That made him glad. Rebecca got probably over the worst part.

But Dean returned to the subject; that is Roman. "He's actually a nice guy," Dean said, and Renee smiled to show agreement with that statement. It seemed odd to Dean, though, that Rebecca'd have no trouble talking to other big guys like Randy, yet getting scared of Roman. But then again, Dean wasn't there so he couldn't know what happened. Dean continued, "He has a little girl like you."

"You do?" Rebecca asked.

"Yes," Roman replied.

"So, Rebecca, what would you say if I left you with Roman, and I and Renee will go talk." Although when he started speaking Dean was looking at Rebecca, by the time he finished his eyes were set on Renee.

Roman immediately found something strange about the whole situation. Dean brought him there to look after the girl. Not that he'd mind, but why not to have the conversation when you don't have a guest here? Moreover, the way Renee was looking at Dean was out of ordinary. It wasn't hard to guess that she didn't want to have that talk. And Roman wondered, what happened between those two? And what would they be talking about? Roman gave Dean a look, letting him know that he had his suspicion. And later he'd wanna know what's going on. Maybe it was time that he start to get more interested in his friend's life.

After not being able to refuse going talk to her boyfriend, Renee told Rebecca, "I'll be back in a minute." And she smiled so that Rebecca wouldn't worry.

At the same time Roman looked at Dean, asking if it was really possible to resolve the problems in such a short time.

Dean said, out loud, but only to Roman, "This may take a while." Roman nodded understandingly. I got your back, he replied using only facial expressions.

Renee had no choice but to go with Dean. The hall wouldn't do this time. This was serious and it could get nasty. Therefore there were conditions: no witnesses. No one to bother or interrupt them. They needed to get through this; the sooner the better.

While on the search for a safe place to have a private conversation, Renee didn't feel like filling the silence with chip chat. But Dean started talking, "You could have told me about Rebecca." He opened the topic and later meant to discuss her re-found ability to talk.

"And you could have told me about Cassie," Renee struck back.

This is not gonna work, Dean told to himself, but still replied to Renee, "Those are two different things."

"Right. One you don't mention and nothing happens. The other you don't mention and you're single."

"Don't dramatize." Dean was sure she wasn't serious.

"You think you're fine? You're safe? You're Dean Ambrose, you're untouchable, right?" she said sarcastically. "Everybody wants you. I can be glad you _chose me_."

"Why am I the one, the _only one_," Dean emphasized, "acting like an adult here? I feel like right now I could have a more mature conversation with that little girl than with you."

"Dean, you don't get it? I don't know what to do. You expect me to react, right? But how? You haven't cheated on me; at least that's what you say. You also keep saying that you haven't done anything wrong."

"I said it once. And I apologized."

"No, you're right. _Theoretically_. If you really haven't betrayed me, I have no reason to be mad at you. But I feel betrayed and I _am_ mad," she said. "And in conclusion, I come around as the bad one here. I don't want to be a bitchy girlfriend who forbids you to . . . I don't know, hang out with your friends. But . . . I can't accept your ex as your friend. And there you go, I am what I don't wanna be."

"I didn't know you feel that way," Dean admitted. It was hard for him to get inside his girlfriend's head and see the situation through her eyes.

"Dean, you've asked me if I trust you. I do trust you. Maybe I'm naïve, but I believe you when you say you haven't cheated on me. Physically."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that . . . there was something between you two."

"That was long time ago," he opposed.

"I know. But you were a couple."

"For less than a month," Dean countered again.

"You felt strongly about her."

"I didn't know her."

Renee prepared for the final counter-argument, "That's exactly it. You didn't know her back then very well. But I suppose now you do. And you're friends. And . . . why wouldn't either of you want more?"

Renee believed that with that question she'd make Dean nervous, but she didn't. He was really calm right now. After all, Renee had finally spoken. And she told him what bothered her. Now it was his time to start explaining and make her see there's nothing to worry about.

"Darling," he smiled at her, and even stroked the side of her arm, "let me tell you a little story."

Renee sighed for she didn't believe she'd be interested in some story. Besides, it reminded her that Dean lacked seriousness. And at times like this, one couldn't make jokes. He need to start taking it seriously.

But Dean wanted to tell the story. "You're gonna like it," he was even sure. And he got to talking, "It all started in February. I met a girl. I liked her and she liked me. We had our fun. But there was this other girl who loved me but never told me."

"I know how that story goes," Renee said, and her unenthusiastic tone revealed that she didn't want to hear more.

"Shh," he placed his index finger on her lips. "I liked this other girl too. She was . . . good-looking, smart, very professional, but also fearless, funny, and most of all, she was my very good friend. And even though she was giving out signals that she liked me, I didn't see them; I was blind," he half-joked. "But, evidently, I was also giving out signs that I liked her . . . and this girl either didn't recognize them or didn't believe them to be true. So what happened?"

"They opened their eyes and saw?" Renee guessed. There was sarcasm in her tone.

"No. They were too stupid for that," Dean said. "They got their eyes opened by their friends. Or . . . in the guy's case, by his girlfriend."

"What?" Renee was confused; she didn't understand.

"Ha," Dean laughed. "So you don't know the story, after all. The then-girlfriend of the guy sat down to him and told him what was happening. And she wasn't mad when she realized her boyfriend had eyes for a different girl. She told him what she saw, instead. And she also told him to go after that girl."

"She set him free?" Renee asked. She got interested.

"Yes. The guy had it all arranged for him. He wasn't totally happy because he missed the best part . . . chasing the prey. He got it all served for him. It just awaited for him to take it. But . . . he soon realized that he was wrong to think that from then on it would be simple. The hardest part was yet to come. And it would be the hardest thing he's ever done."

"What exactly?"

"To be a boyfriend," admitted Dean. "He never was good at it. And although this first girl had taught him a lot, he was still pretty desperate. Some thought he was a lost case. He himself doubted he could ever improve at those things."

"So what did he do?" Renee wanted to know.

"He asked for help."

"Who?"

"The girl that has given him the best advice of his life: to go after the girl he would never stop talking about."

"Your ex became your . . . relationship teacher?"

"Shh, don't spoil the story. The girl that let him go advised him on how to keep his new girlfriend."

"That's wrong."

"Maybe it's wrong when you look at her as his ex-girlfriend. But when you see her as his friend, it's perfectly normal."

"That is not very soothing."

"But it worked. And the most important thing is, he was doing it all for his girlfriend. You know, the ends justify the means."

Renee sighed. "Dean, why you always have to have your own way of doing things?"

Dean couldn't find an answer to that question. At least not immediately. He wished to say something clever, though. And he did at last. "Nobody's perfect; at least I'm unique."

Renee successfully fought the urge to smile to that. She kept her face expressionless. "Tell me this," she continued, and this time she needed him to answer as honestly as he could, "what would you do if I now set you free and told you to go after the girl that clearly was the one that changed your life?"

"What would I say?" Dean repeated. "I'd say, _Not gonna happen_."

Renee smiled, finally. And it was an honest smile too. "So how does the rest of the story go?"

Disaster averted, Dean said to himself. Now there was only one more thing left to do.


	69. Chapter 69

**Flashback.**

* * *

><p>Hey little sister what have you done?<p>

Hey little sister who's the only one?

Hey little sister who's your superman?

Hey little sister who's the one you want?

Hey little sister shot gun!

It's a nice day to start again.

It's a nice day for a white wedding.

It's a nice day to start again.

Hey little sister who is it you're with?

Hey little sister what's your vice and wish?

Hey little sister shot gun (oh yeah)

Hey little sister who's your superman?

Hey little sister shot gun!

It's a nice day to start again (come on)

It's a nice day for a white wedding

It's a nice day to start again.

(Pick it up)

Take me back home

Hey little sister what have you done?

Hey little sister who's the only one?

I've been away for so long (so long)

I've been away for so long (so long)

I let you go for so long

It's a nice day to start again (come on)

I's a nice day for a white wedding

It's a nice day to start again.

There is nothin' fair in this world

There is nothin' safe in this world

And there's nothin' sure in this world

And there's nothin' pure in this world

Look for something left in this world

Start again

Come on

It's a nice day for a white wedding

It's a nice day to start again.

It's a nice day to start again.

It's a nice day to start again.

Dean finished singing, and without waiting for the applause – which came and made him grin – he left the provisional stage and went back to sit down. Cassie was smiling and clapping furiously. She liked his little performance. But most of all, she liked his confidence.

"I was good," Dean said. He let the admiration soak. The waiter was standing nearby, so he ordered another glass of gin with tonic. Fortunately, his date didn't question him about a drinking problem. This was just a second – or third? – glass. Now. He had a lot more before. He was really drunk just a couple of hours ago but he sobered up since then. On the other hand, Cassie still had the same glass in front of her. She was slow at emptying it. But they weren't leaving yet so there was still a chance she'd get wasted. That would come later, though. Right now Dean had something else in mind. "Your turn," he told Cassie.

"I don't know if I can beat you," she complimented him and made an excuse at once.

"Come on. I don't wanna hear another shrieking wannabe."

"Maybe I'm just as bad as them."

"Hmm . . . Perhaps I'm drunk and slow at times, but I'd bet you wouldn't bring me here if you sucked at karaoke singing."

"I'm not that good either . . ."

"Let him be the judge." Dean wanted to hear her singing. Her voice was very pleasing when she talked; he imagined it had to sound great when she sang, too. "Or," Dean had a spontaneous idea, "we could sing a duet," he suggested. This suggestion surprised even him; he was against the concept of two people singing together; of course when he was to be one of them. One reason for it was that there were no good duets that came to his mind, just cheesy, romantic ones.

"Never," Cassie replied, grinning. The single word hurt Dean's ego. Why would she refuse? he had to wonder. But the good news was that now she looked willing and ready to go sing. First, though, she drank her date's glass of gin with tonic, the one that the waiter just brought. It served well as a miraculous medicine that gave her courage. Then she stood up and egoistically made the middle-aged man leave the podium. He was getting ready to sing his song but he stood no chance against the pretty lady that walked onto the stage as if she owned the place. What made it easy for her was the fact that the bar belonged to her friend and she was a regular there. She'd always get prioritized. And she wasn't too bitchy either, because the guy was pretty drunk and he already sang a couple of times. Nobody was eager to hear more. If anything, Cassie prevented the audience's unpleasant experience.

To be fair, Dean expected Cassie to choose to sing a pop song by a female artist. Something that was easy to sing, not much of a challenge. He really didn't know her. Not then. Maybe not ever. That night, and any other they decided to go to a karaoke bar, she chose a rock song. 'Kick in the Teeth' by the band Papa Roach was the one she felt like singing that night. Dean never heard that song before, but her performance made him not only remember it but also it tricked his brain and got him a feeling of déjà vu.

We live in a cold dark world with venom in its veins

You can spit it in my face but I know I'll be okay

It's on the attack, it's a war, it's a game

A ball and chain, chew my arm off to get away

Don't fight it or deny it, invite it

'Cause when it feels like a kick in the teeth I can take it

Throw your stones and you won't see me break it

Say what you want, take your shots

You're setting me free with one more kick in the teeth

Na, na, na, na, na, na

(Kick in the teeth)

Na, na, na, na, na, na

I gotta say thanks 'cause you kick me when I'm down

I'm bleeding out the mouth, I hope you know I'm stronger now

I'm taking the hate, I'm turning it all around

I won't go down 'til I'm six feet underground

Don't fight it or deny it, invite it

'Cause when it feels like a kick in the teeth, I can take it

Throw your stones and you won't see me break it

Say what you want, take your shots

You're setting me free with one more kick in the teeth

Na, na, na, na, na, na

(Kick in the teeth)

Na, na, na, na, na, na

What doesn't kill me only

Will make me stronger in my head, in my head

'Cause when it feels like a kick in the teeth, I can take it

Throw your stones and you won't see me break it

Say what you want, take your shots

You're setting me free with one more kick in the teeth

Na, na, na, na, na, na

(Kick in the teeth)

Na, na, na, na, na, na

Say what you want, take your shots

You're setting me free with one more kick in the teeth

Na, na, na, na, na, na

(Kick in the teeth)

Na, na, na, na, na, na

(Kick in the teeth)

Na, na, na, na, na, na

(Kick in the teeth)

Na, na, na, na, na, na

Those who knew the song tried to join in at times; those he didn't at least sang "na, na, na." But Cassie didn't need any help; she did just fine on her own.

"Not bad," Dean complimented her when she returned to her seat.

"You were right; if I sucked I wouldn't bring you here."

As she sang, Dean got his glass refilled and in front of Cassie was a glass, one that certainly wasn't there before, as well. Dean raised his and asked her to do the same. Then he said the toast: "To the best singers in the house." And added awkwardly, "Now what about that duet?"

Cassie thought he understood and wouldn't return to that topic; she wasn't willing to sing with him. With _anybody_. "I said no," she reminded him casually.

"Every no can be changed into yes." Then without telling her more, he rose from his chair and left his date alone.

Cassie watched him the whole time; she didn't give a damn about the current singers and their unsuccessful cover of Rihanna's 'Stay.' This was the second of the night. Uninteresting. But Dean on the other hand . . . Cassie saw him talking to the guy sitting behind the computer and playing the songs. Dean was onto something; no doubt about that.

He came no sooner than five minutes later. Maybe it was even ten, actually. All that was certain was that another young man came on the stage, and finished his version of 'Radioactive.'

Then Dean prompted now excited Cassie to take his hand and follow him. He wouldn't catch a break until he made her sing with him. Not that he was such a big fan of karaoke, but he knew it would be so much fan singing with her. Everything they've done so far was an experience he enjoyed and would love to repeat another time.

"You're gonna love the song I chose for us."

"Chose?" If he'd just chosen it from a couple of songs, it wouldn't take forever for him to manage this whole show.

"Well, okay, _requested_."

Cassie didn't seem scared or worried. For one thing, she loved Dean's spontaneity; it was a huge turn-on. And there was the confidence. He was active in accomplishing his desires. And then there was the sexy smirk.

Excited but also a little nervous, Cassie had a question in her eyes. But Dean wouldn't spoil the surprise. He made Cassie wait to hear the first tones to know what they'd be covering. Then the lyrics appeared on the screen and the music started to play. And Dean didn't need to wait for Cassie's uncontrollable smile. It appeared with no delay. She really did love the song, _this exact version _of it. Dean knew it very well. Before they went to this bar, Cassie played the song on repeat in her apartment. At least now it wasn't new to Dean. Still, he had doubts if he'd be able to sing it – he heard it the first time today. But what the hell . . . it'll for sure be fun. And Cassie's happy look was priceless. Now Dean rose in her eyes, that was certain. And if he sang it well, this girl'd be his.

Interesting was that 'Careless Whisper' was not a duet. That's why Dean spent so much time making the arrangements for it to become one. But Dean believed that he and Cassie would make it work. It wouldn't sound like when sang by the post-grunge group Seether, but he'd give it his best.

Meanwhile, Cassie was thinking that if this guy was courageous enough to accept the challenge, and if he didn't suck, his status would rise.

D: I feel so unsure

As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor

C: As the music dies, something in your eyes

Calls to mind a silver screen and all those sad goodbyes

C: I'm never gonna dance again

Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm

Though it's easy to pretend

I know you're not a fool

D: I should have known better than to cheat a friend

And waste the chance that I'd been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

D: Time can never mend

The careless whispers of a good friend

To the heart and mind

Ignorance is kind

C: And there's no comfort in the truth

Pain is all you'll find

D: I'm never gonna dance again

Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm

C: Though it's easy to pretend

I know you're not a fool

D: I should have known better than to cheat a friend

And waste the chance that I'd been given

C: So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

D: Tonight the music seems so loud

I wish that we could lose the crowd

C: Maybe it's better this way

We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say

D: We could have been so good together

We could have lived this dance forever

But now who's gonna dance with me?

C: Please stay

D+C: I'm never gonna dance again

Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm

D: Though it's easy to pretend

I know you're not a fool

C: I should have known better than to cheat a friend

And waste the chance that I'd been given

D+C: So I'm never gonna dance again

D: The way I danced with you

Maybe it wasn't a duet but it worked as one in their interpretation. And people liked it too. It was a nice change from those romantic ballads; this had rock essence.

Dean wanted to know if Cassie wondered if he purposely chose the male and female, or his and hers, parts like this. In fact, it was most of the time random, but maybe she thought Dean gave it some deeper meaning. He didn't ask so he had no idea what she was thinking.

But as they were leaving the stage, Dean would realize that her mind was set on something totally different. Cassie whispered a question into his ear. "How far'd you go to get a girl?"

"There's no limit," Dean answered without hesitation.


	70. Chapter 70

**Pre-Battleground chapter. Dean, Roman, and Seth.**

* * *

><p>"Where the hell is Ambrose?"<p>

"You really expect me to know?" countered Randy.

"I looked into every damn corner of this arena. He's nowhere to be found," outraged Seth continued to complain.

Randy carefully looked at Seth. From head to feet. Then he smirked and joked, "I bet he's where your Money in the Bank briefcase is."

"Ha-ha, funny," Seth faked a laugh. He wasn't in mood for joking, though.

"Maybe he's with Renee," suddenly suggested Tom Phillips, who was until now pretending not to be listening to them. He said it just as a by-the-way and then, before getting a response, he was asked to go with somebody to solve "a problem" or something.

But Randy as well agreed that Dean could be with Renee. It wouldn't the first time, after all.

"You think I haven't thought of that?" Seth finally replied.

"So should we officially label him 'lost' then?" Randy thought he was helping but one look at Seth's angry face proved him wrong.

"I need to find him. ASAP!"

"And have you asked Renee if she had any idea where he could be?"

"Oh, no, that never came to my mind," Seth said.

"Cut that sarcasm, Rollins," Randy warned him before he'd get angry.

Seth sighed; he had to have gotten infected by spending so much time around Dean. But Seth didn't mean to do anything about his mood. Instead he left. Randy Orton was of no help to him anyway.

He had to keep looking. He had to find him and talk to him before their match tonight.

"Seth," Triple H called at him from across the hall. Seth stopped walking and waited for him to come to him. "How you feel tonight? Ready for the match?"

"I'm always ready, boss."

"There's no need for being official right now," Triple H smiled. "Oh, and by the way," he switched the topic to the reason he came to him in first place, "Could you send Dean Ambrose to my office? I need to give some last directions regarding the match."

"Sure, I'll let him know you want to see him." Seth decided he didn't need to tell him about how impossible it was to locate the lunatic. There was always the option to tell Triple H that he wasn't able to find him.

As Seth continued his so far unsuccessful search, he overheard a conversation from the room to his left. He couldn't recognize any specific words, but he heard two voices, both male and both pretty low in register. They belonged to Dean and Roman, no doubt about that.

Seth opened the door to find out he was right. The guys were there alone. Dean was lying on the couch and Roman sitting on the floor right next to it. Roman's back was touching the side of the couch. When Seth saw them, and they saw him, they stopped talking and they looked as if they had been interrupted in planning a master revenge on him. Of course it was not what they were doing prior to Seth's entering the room. But they had to have been discussing something secret.

But this was one of the rooms Seth had checked and it was empty. Unless Dean and Roman were hiding it the closet, they weren't there before. But that didn't matter now; important was that Seth finally found Dean.

"I've got bad news for you," Seth told him.

"Have they changed the ending of our match?" asked Dean.

Seth walked toward the guys. "No," he replied. "And could you move?" Dean didn't seem willing to make a room for another person on the couch. "Fucking sit up, Dean!"

"Leave him, Seth," Roman joined the conversation. "Come sit here," he showed him a spot on the floor beside him. Seth had no other choice.

"So I found the T-shirt I lent you last week in the trash this afternoon. Are you fucking kidding me, Dean? It's not for you to spill red wine on it and then throw it away. And without telling me?"

"You really did that?" laughed Roman.

"It was ruined," Dean explained, "all stretched-out and dirty. I had no use for it anymore."

"It was _mine_! My T-shirt and now it's under a banana peel. You have absolutely no respect for anything," Seth yelled at him. "Next time you want to borrow something from me, you can forget about it."

"If I recall correctly, you said the same thing last time too, Seth," Roman reminded him.

"Well, this time I mean it!"

"It was an old shirt, Seth," argued Dean. "If anything, I did you a favor when I got rid of it for you."

"I liked that shirt."

"You have full closet of shirts. What's the use of it? I mean look at me; one pair of jeans, one shirt, one jacket, and girls go crazy."

"Whatever," Seth replied. He let Dean have that one. "What are you two doing here anyway? I spent at least twenty minutes looking for you, Dean."

"If you asked me, I'd tell you he was with me," Roman teased him.

"Well, I asked his girlfriend."

"Renee?" Dean asked. "And?"

"She replied, and I cite, 'Seth, if you think I know what Dean's doing and where he is at all times, you have wrong impression of our relationship."

Roman had to laugh. "At least she's honest to herself."

Seth didn't find it very funny. "Haven't you pledged to be honest?" he asked Dean.

"Haven't you pledged to stop caring?" Dean countered, but he didn't mean to take this into an argument. Now it was time to concentrate. Battleground was about to start and it required him to get into his character. He needed to wake the beast and start seeing target in Seth Rollins, the rascal who broke the famous trio.

His mind was working on the hate but his body was unwilling to move. The legs felt more comfortable in horizontal position and eyes preferred to be shut. _Now all I need is some nice music_, Dean thought to himself.

"Oh, before I forget, Dean, Triple H wanted to see you," Seth, getting himself comfortable on the floor, announced.

"Thanks for mentioning it," Dean replied, but hadn't moved at all.

"Come on, Dean, get off your lazy ass and move! If you don't show up in his office, he'll put the blame on me."

"Fiiine," Dean stretched out the word as he put his legs down on the floor. The next step was a deep, resigning sigh. When he was sitting, like a decent human being, he looked at Roman. Roman returned the look. There was something those two would like to say to each other but probably couldn't because of Seth.

Roman started to speak in spite of Seth's presence. "Are you going to . . ."

"Yeah," Dean replied. "I should . . . right?"

Roman didn't answer immediately. He was thinking, and while doing so he was playing with his mouth, moving it from side to side. Then he licked his upper lip and bit his lower lip, and then he said, "If you want to go with that, tell her." Fortunately Roman didn't sound hesitant so Dean could really take it as advice.

"Who?" Seth asked. He didn't have a slightest idea of what those two were talking about but he was curious and wanted to know, even though he wouldn't understand.

Surprisingly, Dean answered, and didn't even make a big deal out of it. He said, "Renee." And he added, "I'm gonna talk to her after the show."

"Will you have enough energy left for that talk?" Roman asked doubtfully.

Dean smirked. "0 to 60 acceleration of Dean Ambrose is one energy drink. Give me one Red Bull and I'll be capable of much more than _talking_."

"Too much information," Roman laughed.

"What are you going to talk about with Renee?" Seth tried his luck and asked.

"I'm _really _sorry, Seth, but I have to go now. You know, talk to your _daddy_," Dean joked. "I don't want to get you in any problem so I'd better get going."

_Why so suddenly_, Seth wondered sarcastically. But although it was an excuse, Seth was glad that Dean wouldn't keep Triple H waiting for too long.

Dean finally stood up and headed toward the door. "See you in hell, I mean in the ring," Dean not-at-all-awkwardly corrected himself and giggled. He was getting fired up for that match against him tonight. "Dickhead," Dean mumbled before leaving the room for good.

Now Seth had the chance to get the information out of Roman. "What was all this about? Him lying down as if he was totally broken and in pain. You on the floor, looking serious as shit."

"We had a little therapy session," Roman said.

"Hmm, I thought that the psychiatrist is the one looking down at the patient. Not the other way around. Anyhow, what's his problem now? Has he finally lost the control over himself?"

"Come one, grow up, Seth. It's been hard on him."

"Wrong," Seth refused that statement. "It's been hard on people around him. It's been hard on his girlfriend who gets to deal with his shit every day."

"You have no idea what _he_'s going through."

"Me. Tonight."

"That's not what I mean," Roman said. His voice high because of making a sarcastic remark.

"It's a fact, though. We're having a match tonight, and I want him to be fully focused. No women, no problems. Just Dean and his lunatic mind. That's all I'm asking for. That's all that the WWE Universe wants tonight."

"Some people just want peace of mind." After a pause, Roman continued, "Seth, you're not helping him. Dean's doing what he can."

"What is he doing exactly? What is his objective?"

"Be the good guy for once."

Seth raised his eyebrow. "Really? So what, he wants everyone to be happy? Is that what he wants?"

"Yes. But why are you so skeptic? Don't you believe in him?"

"I do. But I don't believe in miracles. There cannot be a happy ending for everybody."


	71. Chapter 71

Renee wrinkled her nose. "Don't you wanna take a shower?" she asked Dean. He was in the process of lying down in their bed but she'd be much more glad if he stayed away from the clean bed sheets.

"I already have."

"It makes no difference when you put on dirty clothes afterwards," she explained to him. "Don't," she said quickly and put her arm on Dean's side of the bed to prevent him from sitting down. He moved back.

"Fine," Dean resigned. Then he proceeded to take off his shirt and baggy trousers. When he took off the grey socks, he moved them toward his nose and smelled them. Bad decision, he realized immediately. It needed to disappear from his smelling distance. So what did he do? He threw them at Renee.

"Ugh." She picked them up when they landed on her shoulder. At first she held them by two fingers at the edge but then she rolled them up into a ball and successfully threw them into the trash can. "Now that's where they belong."

"How about this?" Dean asked when he took off his boxers. "You want it?" He offered it to her.

"No," she declined his generous offer. "And could you please stop throwing around your clothes?"

"And _this_?" He pointed at his manhood and did the helicopter dick.

Renee looked; of course she did. But this wasn't the first time he put on this move to impress her. She got used to it and it affected her less and less.

"You want some; admit it," Dean said in a seductive sort of way.

But she stayed strong. "Dean, I'm not going to touch that sweaty body."

"Man fights all day, man gets dirt and sweat over his body to show off and win woman's heart. Woman puts a beautiful smile on her face, opens her lovely mouth and hurts his pride."

"If you instead of making excuses took that shower, it'd be over already." She smiled. "Then we can focus on caressing your huge ego."

"Or come with me and we'll kill two birds with one stone," Dean suggested.

But Renee was already in her nightwear. And she wanted to read a little before going to sleep. Getting Dean out of room just for a few minutes would mean she could read a couple of pages.

"I think I'll just wait here . . ." Then she looked around the room and at Dean's clothes lying on the bed and on the floor. ". . . And clean the mess you've made."

Dean leaned over the bed to reach his girlfriend. He whispered, "If I cleaned it, would you let me fuck you in the shower?"

"When you formulate it so romantically . . ." Renee said sarcastically.

Dean softened up his voice and the whole attitude. "Would you, milady, _make sweet love_ to me under the hot running water?"

Renee pretended to be thinking, considering whether she should accept his offer. Meanwhile, Dean was kneeling on the bed, looking into her eyes, waiting for her response. But he got tired of waiting, and he had something in mind. So he licked her cheek like a dog and moved his tongue all the way to her ear, which he kissed. Then he placed his hand on her left arm and with almost no effort rolled her over him. Now she was on his right side. Dean got on top of her, his legs surrounding her body. She was in a little shock; he knew she would although it wasn't that rare that he did something unexpected. Dean licked her freshly washed chest; his was sweaty on the other hand. He couldn't get where he'd like to, though, because of the T-shirt she was wearing. "You mind?" he asked, but didn't care for her opinion. He took it off. Her arms were powerless, therefore very cooperative. For a quick second, Dean glanced at the shirt he just took off of her. He smiled when he realized it was actually Seth's. Another one that Dean had borrowed from him and never returned. He had to give it to Renee or she took it herself. Now it didn't matter, though. It belonged on the floor among other useless clothes.

Dean lied down on Renee's more and more responsive body. "Now you're sweaty too," Dean commented with joy in his voice. He licked his lips and gently stroked Renee's cheek, keeping an eye contact with her. This was getting hard on her; as was getting something else somewhere else. . .

"Hmm," Dean breathed in the smell. "You smell nice."

"I cannot say the same," she teased him.

"All right, that's enough." He rose from bed and intended to take that damn shower.

Renee stopped him, though. She caught him by his arm to prevent him from getting away from her and said, "You've already rolled your body all over the bed. What difference does it make if you wash yourself now?"

"Well, well, well. It seems to me that you have rethought your priorities. You're selfish, you know that?"

"Nooo . . ." Her voice sounded tired. In reality, Renee just didn't like being teased.

"So tell me now, honestly, would you prefer me leaving you here alone or –" He wasn't even able to finish. Renee could predict the other option and didn't need to hear it. So she put her hand around Dean's neck to pull him close enough to reach for his mouth. She kissed him. It was an urgent kiss providing an answer to Dean's question. _I want you to stay right here._

It was clear to Dean. He knew what he _could _do, but he decided for something else. Again, he rose from the bed, but this time with Renee. He wrapped her legs around him, and with mouth glued to hers, he moved them both on the floor. He couldn't see much, he opened up his eyes only when it was really necessary, but he successfully got them into the bathroom. There was a little problem when he tripped over his shoe, but nobody got hurt, and thanks to his mouth being already occupied, it was impossible for him to curse, too.

"I like how you're thinking," Renee admitted when she saw they were in the bathroom now.

"You know, darling, I gave you this option and you declined it before. . . . But in the end, I get what I want," Dean whispered. And he demanded, "Say it. Say that I always get what I want."

"You are hard to please," Renee just said.

"_You_ are hard to please," he repeated like a little child. "Say it."

Renee sighed and phlegmatically replied, "You always get what you want." Then she said seductively while looking up at him, "Now give me what _I_ want."

Dean grinned. "Let's take _these_ off," he touched the last piece of the clothing, which was her panties, and took them off.

"Should I step inside?" She meant the shower unit that she glimpsed at.

"No." The smile was followed by Dean's picking Renee off the floor. The fingers on his right hand were spread on Renee's bare back and leaving pink marks there. With his left arm Dean was supporting Renee's legs; his arm was right underneath her bended knees. He was being extremely careful when he was taking her inside; very easily her head could bump into the wall or something. Nothing of that kind happened, though. Renee was safe with him.

Once inside, they closed the door and found themselves in a closed, tiny space that gave them just enough space to turn around. But it sufficed for their demands.

Renee let the water pout over their naked bodies. She set the temperature as she liked it but it was always too hot for Dean. But what wouldn't a man go through to satisfy a woman? But Renee cared for his comfort. "Is it too hot?" she asked.

"Not nearly as hot as you," he delivered a "smooth" line. Still, it made Renee cherish.

The walls of the shower unit quickly steamed up. It was getting harder to breathe, but humidity had little to do with it. Dean was whispering sweet words into Renee's ear and she giggled each time. He was making her feel comfortable and it allowed him to try his luck. Her back was touching his chest and still – or again – sweaty stomach. He wrapped his arms around her belly. The palms of his hands were stroking Renee's arms. She laid her head on Dean's shoulder behind her. "I love you," Dean said. Then he proceeded to kiss her neck as she was left to do nothing but enjoy the touch of his lips on her wet skin. His hands were at first on her tummy, playing with and stretching the skin, then they moved upward. There was never a moment when his hands would let go of her. Their bodies were inseparable.

Dean cupped Renee's breasts but it wasn't enough. He turned her around to look at her, at her beauty and sex-appeal. Their hands quickly found their way into each other's. Suddenly Renee seemed to have forgotten about everything she disliked about her boyfriend just ten minutes ago: the sweat, the dirt, the dust underneath his fingernails. Maybe a little bravely she licked all of that away. But before reconnecting with his tongue, she let the water clean her mouth. Only then she could press her lips against his and let the powerful muscle in. The first of two . . .

The salty taste of Dean's skin didn't mind to her. But having the neck licked wasn't that satisfactory to Dean. Already squeezing her hair, Dean gently pushed Renee's head down. She knew what he wanted. And she was willing to give it to him.

"Close your eyes," Renee ordered him before she put his boner in her mouth. Dean sighed as it went deeper in her mouth, as she got it all in. Dean's head tilted backwards; he was certainly enjoying this. But Renee knew that herself. And pleasing Dean was pleasing her too. Besides it raised her confidence.

"You're the best," she got complimented. She'd smile but she was pretty busy.

Then suddenly Dean separated the connection and helped Renee stand up. "Swallow," he told her as a joke.

"I already have," she replied teasingly and opened her mouth for him to see the proof.

"I really do love you," he quickly said before kissing her passionately. And while maintaining the kiss, Dean's hand deliberately slipped down her leg to tickle it with the fingers. Then, unexpectedly, Renee felt it between her legs, slowly finding its way in. Renee spread her legs and created space for whatever his immediate intentions were. She didn't care what he'd do; she knew she'd like it.

For another minute Dean was just playing, mostly outside. Each time he'd let his fingers in, he'd thrust his tongue in her mouth too.

The water was still pouring and it made Renee's hair not only totally wet but also fall into her face. But Dean took care of that. With his free hand he put it behind her ear. The other hand was still occupied. It kept moving in circles around her pulsating pussy.

When the left hand let Renee's face alone, it violently took charge of her leg, bending it and lifting it up.

"Now," Dean announced his long-awaited entrance. Renee's back was pushed onto the wall. He got Renee away from the water stream but he received plenty of water falling on his head. That couldn't stop him going, though. He thrust his big cock in and pulled it out. He thrust again and again. He kept pressing tirelessly, harder and harder. "You like that, huh?" he asked without expecting an answer. Her happily calling his name between the phases of panting sufficed. He was the master. _I . . . am . . . the . . . master. _Dean sighed heavily.

Renee wrapped both her legs around her and let him have absolute control. Her only concern was not to let him escape. "Don't . . . stop," she gasped as her inside was getting hungrier for him. She moaned loudly but nobody could hear her. She didn't need to hold back. And she cried his name as if it was the name of the savior. But yes, he was the one that she needed. He was the savior . . . he was the god. He was the one who got her to the highest heights. "I love you, Dean," she whispered after he thrust himself inside of her one last time. A little later she proclaimed her surrender, "You really always get what you want." Dean didn't say anything; he just smiled.

That smile was not on his face anymore in the morning. Maybe the fact that the person lying next to him wasn't his girlfriend had something to do with it.


	72. Chapter 72

After the shower, real shower with soap and everything, Renee wrapped her body in a towel. Dean dried himself but didn't see a point in covering his body to walk back to the bedroom. Dean went first. Renee stayed a little longer to dry and comb her hair, and apply the lotion. When she returned to the bedroom, Dean was already lying in bed. He was still naked and he had the TV turned on.

"So we've become the old married couple?" Renee asked jokingly. "Sex and then spending time separately?"

"No, my dear," Dean turned to her and replied, smiling. At the same time, he turned the TV back off. There was nothing interesting on anyway.

Dean invited Renee to join him in bed. But first, she picked up the clothes from the floor. She put on the T-shirt that she previously wore.

"Don't put it on," Dean pleaded. And added the reason – or one of the reasons – why. "It smells like Seth."

Renee smiled, but then the smile disappeared when she realized she didn't know why it should be funny. "What?" she asked for explanation. Then she got alarmed. What if it wasn't meant to be a joke? Maybe Dean believed that she spent a night with Seth . . . doing who knows what. Ridiculous! "What it's got to do with Seth?"

"Nothing, nothing," Dean replied, shaking his head furiously. "It's just that it's his."

"Oh. I thought it was yours."

"Don't worry about it."

But she sort of did. "Does he know I wear it?"

"That'd be weird," Dean realized. But he quickly shook off that thought. "Anyhow, let's stop talking about him and come here." His hand was moving in a circle at the spot he wanted her to occupy.

Without talking, she did. She lied down and let Dean snuggle her. Then she received a gentle kiss on her cheek, followed by another one on the lips. Dean held Renee in his arms and did a little multitasking when he turned off the lamp on the night table while kissing her.

"Goodnight," she wished him and turned to the other side.

"That's it?" he acted surprised.

"Mhm . . ."

Dean pretended to accept defeat, but after less than a minute, he was calling her name. "Renee . . ." No response. "Darling," he whispered into her ear. The sound of his voice would be nice at different occasion. Now, when she was getting to sleep, the sound, and the breath and it's vibration in her ear, was not that far from that of an annoying insect. But Dean kept trying. He stroked Renee's arm and then attempted to turn her to face him. He didn't want to put much effort into it but it was enough. She gave in.

"Whatever you want, it's late," she mumbled with eyes closed.

But Dean ignored her wish to let her sleep and turned on the light again.

"No . . ." Renee wasn't too happy about it.

Before telling her the reason why he needed her awake, he kissed her. The kiss wasn't that well received but so what. Dean whispered, "You mind if I go somewhere next Friday?"

"No," she uttered. She hoped that was it.

"Good." Dean too would prefer if the conversation finished there, but he had to tell her. And it seemed like a right time. "It's about this event," Dean started.

"What event?" Renee pretended to care. She'd really much rather just go to sleep.

"I've been invited to a wedding."

"Who's getting married?" Renee was somewhat curious.

"A friend of mine. You don't know him."

"Well, have fun, then. Goodnight."

"Renee, stay with me," Dean said because he had a doubt she was falling asleep. He shook with her.

"What now?"

"It's still about the wedding."

"I can't come," she said in case he wanted her to.

"No, I know."

"You don't need my permission to go," Renee told him. "Just go and have fun. Oh," she became a little bit more attentive, "and bring a nice present. Have you bought one?"

"Not yet," Dean replied.

"I can help you with it. . . . Is that why you're asking?"

"No," Dean said. The conversation wasn't going where he wanted it to. "Renee, listen," he spoke more urgently. "I'm going there with someone."

Renee opened her eyes. "Really?" she asked, hoping it didn't look like she cared a lot. In reality, though, she started to.

Dean suddenly hesitated. He wasn't sure anymore if telling Renee was a good idea. But she had to know; it would be so much worse if she didn't and then found out from a source other than him.

"It's a female, right?"

"Yes," Dean bravely answered her question. He was getting nervous. He didn't want to pronounce that name but soon enough the question _who_ would come up.

"Do I know her?"

"Yes."

"And do I need to keep asking or will you tell me yourself who it is?" Renee wasn't indifferent. The answer to who would be the person accompanying Dean to a wedding mattered to her.

Dean replied slowly, "You know who it is."

The hint sufficed for Renee to come up with a name, but Renee didn't want her conclusion to be right. "Please don't tell me it's your ex." Dean's silence was an answer. "I almost forgot about her . . ." Renee said a little sarcastically. She was annoyed. No that angry yet, but that would surely come. Cassie was the last person she wanted to think about. And also the last person she'd want Dean to go a wedding with.

"So I shouldn't have told you about it . . ."

Renee wrinkled her forehead. Did Dean have another strategy? One where he omits his plans totally and lets his girlfriend live in a lie? "How exactly would that be better?" Renee asked. "Dean, do you realize what you're doing? You bring up someone I'm trying to forget about; someone _you_ should forget about. Not only that . . . You plan to attend a wedding with her. With you ex! I mean, are you fucking kidding me?" Renee couldn't handle this. Was Dean this naïve or totally ignorant toward her? Didn't he realize how it would make his girlfriend feel?

"You don't understand."

"_I_ don't understand?" Renee asked. She was irritated. More than that; she was furious. "There are things that you do and things that you don't do, Dean. Like hanging out with your ex. Like attending a wedding with her! And now what? You want my blessing?"

"No." Dean thought that Renee was overreacting. She was not. He just did a very bad thing at the worst time possible.

"I thought you said that it was over."

"It is," Dean replied.

"Then?"

"I want to see her one last time, don't you get it?"

"Oh, I do. You want to see her. You want to be with her because you like her and you feel good in her presence. Is that correct?" She didn't give him a chance to answer. "Dean, I get it. You don't want to stop seeing her. Do you want to stop dating me, then?"

"No," he said in a fierce manner.

"And do you expect me to quietly accept this whole situation?" she asked another question.

Dean didn't know what to say. It seemed to him that there was not a good answer. Sure, it came to him that the best way to appease his girlfriend was to call the whole thing off, but that was the one thing he couldn't do.

"Renee, please . . ." He hoped that the different approach would help. Be kind, understanding; the opposite of Renee at this moment.

But Renee wouldn't even look at him now. Tears were forming in the side of her eyes, but those were not for Dean to see. She let out a deep sigh filled with hurt. "I'm not going to give my blessing to your ultimate opportunity to cheat on me."

"That won't happen," he assured her, stroking her arm; or at least trying to. "I give you my word," he added.

"Your word means nothing."

"Darling," Dean whispered. Nothing would change her mind. At this moment it was hopeless. But Dean was not a problem; not the biggest one for sure. He was not an untrustworthy person; Cassie was. Besides, it was a wedding. You have fun, you get drunk, you do things you come to regret later.

"Tell me this, Dean. If I asked you not to go, would you not?"

That was a tough question. And the answer would be painful. For that reason, Dean stayed quiet.

"It's a good thing I'm not asking, am I right?" Renee assumed.

Dean chose a strange approach. "Could we forget about this whole topic?"

"No." Renee believed they had to get somewhere. How could she fall asleep right now? In the middle of the fight. The atmosphere was tense and it would get worse. Once they cross that point, the peak, the solution would be close. And then, when they resolve the whole thing, she could go to sleep. Not a minute sooner.

Dean left the bed to go look out the window. It was dark, both inside and outside. The little light was on, which enabled him to walk without hitting anything. He stood by the window quietly. He watched what was happening outside, wondering, thinking of what to say. Words wouldn't come naturally. When he was standing in the ring, he could without a problem come with a whole promo. He could speak for five, ten minutes straight without preparation. If he was to make everything up, he could do it. Now, not a single sentence. Not a word. Nothing. Hopeless situation.

Renee found something strange about his silence too. "Dean Ambrose has nothing to say."

"I thought you would speak," he lied. He knew he was the one that should say something; it was his job to make her happy again. But how?

"Fine. I'm gonna speak." She left the bed too. But although her first steps were in Dean's direction, she stopped in the middle of the room. Dean looked at her and this time she wouldn't look away. "Remember when I told I want you to be sure? Before we started dating. I wanted you to be absolutely sure that you want to be with me . . . I don't think you are. I think you need to figure it out."

"I don't see a reason why. I know that I love you. _You_, Renee," he raised his voice. "Not her. Not anyone else." he said as he walked her way. Standing before her, he looked deeply in her eyes and slowly kissed her. Gently, with care. That wasn't their usual kiss; it was much less filled with passion and desire. It was an honest cry. A silent shout. The last attempt to make an impact.

After a minute, when their lips parted, Renee said, smiling resignedly, "You are a good liar. You made yourself believe your own lies."

Dean shook his head. He bit his lip. He watched her. Those feelings that got hold of him were unknown, strange, new. Not totally new; he got scared like this before, but he still wasn't used to it. He didn't expect it to return. The evil. The threat. He had to ask, "If I go, will you break up with me?"

"Where do you get the confidence that we'll be still together next Friday?"

Frankly, Dean was stunned. His heart was beating fast. He could sense the end. How to avoid it? What to do? Stop, he screamed out of his lungs but no sound came out of his mouth. He swallowed before asking – he was afraid to know – but then he decided he didn't want to pose that question. Originally, he wanted to ask Renee if she would break up with him no matter what. But then he rethought his strategy, or, which was more probable, he didn't think at all. He just said spontaneously, "Do it," he seemed to be encouraging her. "Finish it. Finish me off." His voice was confident now; he got into his gimmick style of talking. At that moment Renee became just another person who didn't believe in him.

"Leave."

Dean grinned; Renee could swear he did. He looked happy. Maybe he wanted the situation to turn out like this. It was improbable, but Renee got that perception of him.

And Dean looked at her one last time, and left.

Renee, more angry than surprised, picked something off the floor and then opened the door, which Dean so carelessly closed after him. "Don't forget this," Renee shouted and threw Dean's boxers in the direction that he walked away. "Nobody wants to see you naked, you lying piece of shit." She wanted to try some trash-talking but it just wasn't her. And in the end, she felt embarrassed, defenseless, and broken.

Dean didn't look back. He didn't mind being naked. He didn't give a damn about anything. His brain was burning and body would welcome a cold shower too. But it was late. And he had just been kicked out of his room. Now what?

The first knock on the door was quiet. With each other, intensity grew. When Roman opened the door, half of the floor had to be awake already.

"Where's the fire?" Roman asked, half-asleep.

"Can I crash here tonight?" Without formal invitation, Dean let himself in. "What's he doing here?" he asked when he saw Seth with a joystick in his hand. Seth now looked away from the screen to see who the annoying guest was. He should have known that there was only one person that would come in the middle of the night.

Seth countered, "The better question is why the fuck are you naked?" And he used the joystick to cover his eyes.

"I hope nobody saw you," Roman said.

Seth's concern was slightly different. "I hope nobody will see you on the way out of here."

"But seriously, Dean, put something on," Roman demanded.

Since Dean sensed staying with Roman tonight depended on it, he obeyed. "You have something I can borrow?"

"Take anything," Roman said quickly to avoid another unnecessary minute of naked Dean Ambrose.

Then Dean lay down in Roman's bed. No explanation whatsoever.

"Is he serious?" Seth couldn't believe what was happening.

But Roman was too tired to care right now. He just shook his shoulders and lay down next to Dean.

Seth didn't mean to stay a second longer. This was too weird for him to handle. But he believed there had to be a reason for Dean's visit. Something happened. Likely, something very bad . . . Renee, Seth's terrified eyes screamed in utter horror.


	73. Chapter 73

**Renee asked Dean to leave, and he did. That was it for him. Renee, on the other hand, stayed alone, awake, and depressed. Thankfully, there was somebody who gave a damn and wouldn't leave her alone in her misery.**

* * *

><p>Emergency didn't care what time it was. Seth hurried to get to Renee. It was late and he should be sleeping; but when it came to that, nothing was as it should have been. Dean was not with Renee. Renee was alone, and God knows in what state, both mental and physical. Seth couldn't stop thinking about what might have happened between them. Maybe he was overreacting; he wished he was. But what if not?<p>

In the middle of the hallway there lay male boxers. Well, that would explain why Dean was naked, Seth thought to himself. He picked them up, carefully – hardly were they clean. Then he quietly knocked on the door. "Renee," Seth called. His voice was too quiet; she had no chance to hear him. He knocked again.

She finally opened the door. Her face was not approachable to Seth. Renee was looking down. To make it even harder for Seth to recognize her emotion, she was hiding her face with her hand. That made Seth wonder, had she been crying?

Renee swallowed. "Dean's not here." She assumed that was the reason Seth came there.

"I know. He's at Roman's. I suppose this is his," he pointed at the underwear.

"Yes," she sighed, and took it from Seth. Then she carelessly threw it in the room. She didn't care where it'd land.

"Can I come in?"

Renee shrugged her shoulders. What it mattered? It did, when she thought about it. Maybe it was strange, but she didn't want to be alone. That'd be a torture. Those few minutes that she had already spent in there by herself were enough. Desperation surrounded her and wouldn't let her sleep. Sleep . . . that was just a wish that wouldn't come true anytime soon.

Seth entered the room. First thing he did was looking around. He became a detective looking for evidence. Small hints that would tell him what had happened. But the room was actually quite tidy. And if he expected blood stains on the floor, there were none. This was not a crime scene.

"Did you fight?" Seth asked Renee, who was getting a night gown out of the closet and putting it on.

Then she looked at Seth and answered him, "No . . . I don't know, actually. Maybe."

"But . . . you're still together, right?" He was worried. And even more when he got no answer.

Renee was quiet. Terrified of answer? Only she knew. Seth had no idea what was going on her mind.

"Please, tell me you two didn't break up," he was begging now. But that wouldn't move her. Her tongue was tied. Seth hated this. How come nobody ever answered him that question? They thought it was funny keeping him in ignorance? No. Definitely not Renee. The woman that Seth was looking at certainly didn't find anything funny. Her expression was sour. Sadness couldn't be hidden beneath a fake smile. No matter how much effort Renee'd put into convincing Seth that everything was fine, she could never make it look believable. She was sad; she was suffering. Any person able to see would notice her misery.

"Seth," she called his name. "I don't know what to do." She felt desperate. If anybody could help her . . . but Renee ceased to believe there was a way out.

Once again she was getting close to bursting into tears. But she didn't want Seth to see her crying.

"Come here," he invited her into his arms for a compassionate hug. She could cry; she could let everything out. She was safe with him.

A minute later, he let her go. The window curtains were closed and he wanted to change that. Secluding oneself from everything never solved anything. He looked around what else he could improve. "Go lie in bed," he advised her. On the nightstand there was a remote control, which he picked and used to turn on the TV. He glanced at it to see what was on but didn't change the channel yet. Instead, he walked toward the minibar and opened it. Alcohol, that was what he needed. A bottle of champagne would do to begin with. And there were two glasses already awaiting nearby. As Renee watched the TV, Seth poured the champagne and carried the full glasses to the bed. He handed her one.

"A toast?" Seth asked. But that was the last thing she could think of. "No? Ok." Seth smiled and drank a bit. So much he wished to see a smile on Renee's face. "So what are we going to watch?" he asked out loud and started switching channels. No. No. No. Then Seth suddenly cheered up. "Hey! A soap opera. It's always nice to get reminded how small our problems are," he was joking. A female character was sitting on the floor, crying furiously. "Do you think that Fernando screwed her over?" Another shot at a man picking up a baby out of the crib. "Maybe she found out that the baby her sister just gave birth to is his," he said dramatically.

"You watch this?"

"No. You wanna see what I watch?" His voice sounded enthusiastic.

"No!" Renee shouted before Seth could get to the channel he was looking for.

"It's not porn," laughed Seth.

Renee wouldn't believe him. "Really?"

"_Not always_."

"But you wanted to show me porn, didn't you?" she suspected.

Seth looked away. She got him. "All right," Seth gave up. "Let's watch a movie." And he went to the On Demand section. Horror? No. Romantic? Hell no. Comedy? Seth asked, "Hangover?"

"Movie, or are you predicting the state in which we'll be in the morning?"

"Movie of course," he responded but he wouldn't cross out the other option either. He poured her another glass and emptied the small bottle. "Play it if you want," he handed her the remote to go to get more alcohol. Once there, he shouted at Renee, "Whisky? Gin? Vodka? Tequila? Oh, hey! Jagermeister!" he shouted and took it out along with a bottle of wine.

"Don't mix," Renee advised him.

But Seth didn't care. He just checked where the bathroom was . . . in case. "Look," he addressed Renee, "as long as we don't get as drunk as they," he pointed at the screen where the movie was getting ready to be played, "we're fine." Sure, in the morning he'd regret getting wasted, but now it didn't matter to him. Besides, the priority was cheering up Renee; or at least helping her forget about tonight. "I better grab some beer," he announced.

"Please don't," protested Renee; but as soon as he had two beers in his hands and returned to the bed, she took one when Seth opened them.

And they could press play and start watching. Seth at times preferred watching Renee to watching the movie. He wanted to know what effect the comedy would have on her. It made her smile. When not the movie, Seth's impersonations did. The way he joked made her forget. And laugh; like when he spilled the beer over the bed sheets. "Here, take mine," Renee generously offered him her bottle of beer.

Seth replied, "I'll just get another one." And went to take two out of the minibar. The stock was getting tight. Seth had already taken out a lot and it was piling up all around the bed. He wondered how expensive that would be. "Well, I guess it's on Dean tonight," he said quietly so that Renee couldn't hear him.

One thing was sure. Renee didn't pay attention to Seth anyway. Her eyes were set on the screen. "Seth! Seth!" she cried. "The best part."

Seth hurried to see it. Then, after it was over, he realized, "You know, you could have just paused it." They both burst into laughter. Not that it was that funny, but the alcohol got in their heads.

Seth lay down in bed again, right next to her. As she laughed, he was thinking. Without stopping the movie, Seth started speaking. "I'm telling you this as _your_ friend, not Dean's." The words immediately grabbed her attention. "If you're unhappy in that relationship, end it. I know it sounds harsh, but you need to ask yourself, is it all worth it? Do you want to be with him at all costs?"

The good mood was gone in an instant. Serious look replaced the smile on both of their faces.

"Unless," Seth spoke again, "you've already broken up." She actually never told him what happened earlier that night. He asked, but she didn't say. "Renee," he was left to beg.

Renee went back to watching the first part of the Hangover series, but she couldn't enjoy it anymore. Her mind became Dean's slave again.

Seth couldn't let this torture continue. All right, he shouldn't have brought that up. All that he had achieved earlier now collapsed.

And then, when Seth stopped hoping that she would say something, she did. "What did he say?"

"Dean?" Seth double-checked. "Nothing."

Renee nodded. She was not surprised; perhaps she expected Dean to not talk about it.

"Well, I guess we're done with watching," Renee said and turned the TV off.

"What do you want to do now?"

"Sleep? Drink? Cry? Scream?" While posing the questions, she was smiling. She made peace with the misery Seth was talking about earlier. "I don't know. But that's not a reason for you to have a sleepless night."

Seth shook his head. "Nonsense. I'll stay; no matter how long."

That made Renee happier. There was somebody she could share her worries with. Maybe she should open up to him . . . But it felt wrong asking him for anything; even staying with her that night. "I don't need a guardian."

Seth leaned to kiss her on her forehead. "You need somebody you can count on. Somebody you can trust." His eyes lingered on the upper part of her body. A smile appeared on his face. "Where did you get that shirt?" asked Seth. It took Seth's interest.

Renee welcomed the new topic. "From Dean."

"He gave you _my_ T-shirt?"

She chuckled. "He didn't realize it until tonight. And I had thought it was his," Renee explained.

"You still wear it," noted Seth.

"I like it; it's comfortable. Besides, I feel good wearing it since I know Dean's not very excited that I wear a shirt that turned out to be yours." It was her way of a protest.

"Really?" Seth grinned.

"He said it smells like you . . . And he didn't mean it as a compliment."

Renee was surprisingly enthusiastic. As if she liked the idea of making Dean jealous. The sight of Seth by her side, lying next to her, while she was in his shirt . . . Renee wondered how Dean would react if he accidentally walked inside and got to see this. Deep inside, she wished it would happen. "What if he walked in right now?" she expressed her thoughts.

"Rather not," Seth replied.

But Renee still waited. Wasn't it in moments like these that the Murphy's Law proved right? Yet nothing happened. Dean was probably already asleep. But . . . Renee was thinking vehemently. Dean would come in the morning, wouldn't he? He will have to since all his stuff is in this room. He wasn't even wearing any clothes when he left, after all. So when he wakes up, his first steps will lead to Renee. And if everything works out as planned, he'll find the two of them together. And then it's just up to him how he decides to handle to situation.

Her plan had to stay secret, though. "I guess you're right," she lied in reply to Seth. Renee didn't necessarily want her plan to work out. Maybe it would be better if it didn't. But she was curious. She secretly hoped that Dean would get jealous. It was because she believed that once he gets jealous, he realizes that he needs to fight for her, and not passively keep on believing that it'll end the way it should. There was no guarantee. It might have been already over between them. But then again, something needed to be done.

Finally, Renee looked pleased. "Do you want to finish the movie?"


	74. Chapter 74

Dean's and Renee's respective mornings weren't that different. They both woke up with regret.

When Dean opened his eyes, he felt strange. For a moment he didn't know what was going on and where he was. He looked to his left, but what he saw just added to his confusion. Roman? Why not Renee? Then the awakening came. This room was not his and Renee's. Renee . . . did they break up? Dean had to think hard to remember the events of the last night. There was a fight. But what was the result? Temporary or permanent separation? Gosh . . . words couldn't describe how terrible he was feeling.

What was the time? Half past six. Dean was still tired but with these thoughts in mind he couldn't fall asleep again. "Roman," he shook with the lifeless body of his friend. With continuous disturbance Roman eventually had to wake up.

"Not now, Seth," Roman mumbled.

"Roman," Dean spoke louder this name. This was urgent.

Roman hesitantly opened his eyes. "Dean?" he asked, surprised to see him lying next to him. But he didn't care that much. He stretched his body because he was only in transition from being asleep to waking up completely.

"Listen, Ro, did I say something last night?" Dean was thinking that maybe Roman had an idea what the actual status of him and Renee was.

Finally, Roman was starting to focus, but he was still unable to give the conversation as much importance as Dean demanded. "No; I don't know. The only thing I remember is that you were naked." Roman suddenly sat up. "You're not naked now, are you?"

Dean didn't think so, but he checked to be absolutely sure. "No." He kept looking at his underwear. He murmured, "This is not mine."

Dean's mumbling didn't interest Roman. Now that he was awake he wanted to know the reason why Dean was occupying his bed when he had a comfortable bed himself. "Did Renee got tired of your shit and told you to fuck off?" Roman joked but the smile quickly disappeared from his face.

"I think we broke up."

That information left Roman speechless. Now he was fully awake. But what happened, he wondered. Would it be inappropriate to ask?

Then Dean added, "Or we will soon."

"Wait," Roman found the courage to interrupt. "So . . . have you or haven't you broken up?"

"The thing is, I have no idea. It's not like she said 'I break up with you,' or anything that would clearly state it's over, but I have this feeling that she wants us to part ways for good. I mean, who says those things openly these days anyway?" Dean argued.

"But there still is a chance . . ."

"Well, I guess it's just a matter of time . . ."

This passive attitude bothered Roman. "Why do I feel you're giving up already?"

"I'm not, okay? But we both know that these things aren't for me."

Unlike Dean, who was still in bed, Roman was getting up and looking for clothes to wear. Talking while lying in bed next to each other was too weird so he wanted to avoid it from now on.

"You were doing fine until recently." He hoped that it would cheer him up, but that didn't happen.

Dean found an argument to counter Roman's. "Because of Cassie's help."

"Cassie, Cassie," Roman sighed, "you know she's the reason you're swimming in this shit in the first place, don't you?"

"No, don't make a criminal out of her. All she did was helping me. But when we're looking for a person to blame, I'd say you are just as guilty."

That took Roman by surprise. "What? Are you kidding me?"

"You were the one who advised me to tell Renee."

Roman took a deep breath to get emotions under control. He didn't want to turn into Seth or Dean who acted without thinking. "Look, Dean. First of all, I said you should tell her _if_," he emphasized, "you decide to go. I never said that going to that wedding is a clever thing to do. But _if_," he stressed that word again, "you go, Renee needs to know about it. And second of all, I'm not always right. You really thought I could predict woman's reaction?" he joked to ease up the situation.

"Well, that doesn't matter now anyway. She hates me."

Sad, resigned face of Dean Ambrose was one that wasn't quite known to Roman. It was painful to see it. Dean was feeling bad; guilty and miserable. "Come on, that was yesterday. Apologize and life goes on," Roman meant to give him some inspiration. But Dean disapproved of those words. Even without speaking, it was clear that he refused the option to apologize. He was way too proud and still believed that beneath everything there was his right to see his friend – even though she was his ex – for the last time.

After a moment of silence, Roman spoke again. "Dean," he addressed him. "What if it's really over between you and Renee? What are you gonna do?"

One certain thing interested him. Fortunately, Dean knew exactly what Roman had in mind. "You mean whether I get back with Cassie?"

Roman unhappily nodded. He wanted to know, yet he didn't want to know the answer.

Well, Dean chose not to answer anyway. "I need to go back to my room," he said instead, and finally he, too, got out of bed.

"Like that?" Roman asked, what made Dean stop and reconsider. He was still wearing only boxers; _Roman's_ boxers.

"I came here naked," reminded him Dean, raising the question of why should it be a problem now if it was okay earlier today.

"Yeah, but that was when everybody was sleeping. Just put something on."

Dean thought about it but then he replied, "Look, it'd still be your clothes. But what's the matter? Scared of people knowing I spent the night in your room?" Dean was teasing him.

"Let's compromise," suggested Roman. "I'll go to your room to get your clothes, and then you can go wherever you want. Deal?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders. "If it makes you feel better," he said, not giving a fuck.

Roman stayed a little longer, watching Dean, trying to figure out if he could trust him that he'd stay inside while he would go get his clothes. No, of course he couldn't trust him. Roman told him, "Please, stay here, and don't open door to anyone."

"Yes, mom," joked Dean.

One more hateful and suspicious look from Roman, and he was gone.

He wanted to get this through as soon as possible. No hesitation, no procrastination. Since it was a big risk to leave Dean unattended, he walked fast and arrived with no delay. He got the key card so knocking was not necessary. He let himself in, quietly, because he thought Renee could be still sleeping. On his mission he gave out an impression of a thief, that's how sneaky he was, but Roman was enjoying it. He had a plan; go inside, get the clothes, and leave before Renee sees him. But once he got inside, all that was forgotten.

The awful smell hit him first. Somebody was on an alcohol spree. Evidence was all around. On the table, on the floor, on the bed. Gosh, there was even a small pyramid made out of mostly empty bottles. Roman didn't know what to think about it. It cleared up a bit when he saw Renee. More precisely, when he saw that she was not alone. Renee was asleep, as was her partner in crime. Roman walked further to see the person probably responsible for this mess. _Now that was interesting_, ran through Roman's mind.

He walked carefully, not to wake them up. Only when he was standing right in front of the bed they were so peacefully lying in, Roman clapped loudly and shouted, "Morning, lovebirds!"

And the wide smile of Roman Reigns was the first thing they saw.

They were screwed. Seth and Renee couldn't remember last night. And they had no idea why they were in bed together. For Roman, their terrified looks were hilarious; for them it was cruel reality.

Renee swallowed over-forming saliva in her mouth. "We didn't . . ." she said – or asked actually, holding her aching head.

Seth wasn't wearing a shirt but that didn't have to mean anything. The part which could resolve their confusion was hidden under the sheets; then the legs were out again, just as the upper part of his body. Terrified Renee anticipated the news. Seth slowly looked under the sheets. His face got sour. "This is awkward," he said, and suddenly it was clear.

Renee felt sick. This was not good. This was so not good. Disaster. Renee looked at the enemy that Seth had become, and in that moment she realized that her whole world had fallen apart. Guilt was what she felt, and she knew that the feeling was deserved. Gradually, it became harder and harder to handle the situation and prevent emotions from taking control. _That_ _can't be_, Renee tried to persuade herself. The consequences would be far-reaching. All this made Renee nauseated. She abruptly jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom.

Seth watched her attempt to flee the reality. Roman, on the other hand, only glanced at her and then stared constantly at Seth, judging him. A look of disapproval was what Seth could have seen if he stopped watching the way that Renee had marked with her bare feet seconds ago. "That was cruel," Roman uttered.

"What?" Finally Seth transferred his attention to Roman.

"You're not naked." Roman was sure of that because when he entered the room, Seth wasn't covered up in anything. And he saw that Seth was wearing his underwear. "Liar," he accused him.

Realizing he wasn't very fit and his head was killing him, Seth's first attempt to get up was unsuccessful. But he was in surprisingly good mood. He laughed, even though he was in pain. "It was an innocent joke," argued Seth. "Of course we didn't sleep together. We weren't _that_ drunk, okay?" Seth kept on smiling. Now he was out of bed and surely he was wearing underwear.

"Oh, Seth," sighed Roman. "I doubt Renee found it funny." Then Roman shouted toward the bathroom, "Renee? You're all right in there?" And then he again looked at Seth, disapprovingly shaking his head.

"Jeez, if something happened, she'd remember," Seth tried to come up with something that wouldn't make him look like an idiot, but he himself knew that he shouldn't have made that joke. Not with Renee. Not now. Or, better, not ever. "I'll go check on her," he said, and immediately went to do so.

Meanwhile, Roman started cleaning. This mess had to disappear. He started with opening the window to make the unbearable smell go away. Of course it made Renee puke.

As he was standing by the window, he noticed a strange dude crossing the road. What made Roman chuckle was the fact that he was only in his underwear; he wasn't even wearing any shoes. A drunk idiot, Roman thought of the guy.

"Shit," he shouted, and hid his mouth with one hand to reduce the visibility of the shock. Idiot, indeed, Roman labeled Dean, who turned out to be the mysterious guy. Roman fought the urge to yell at him. He was angered; but equally amused. Roman mumbled to himself, "One is joking about having had sex with his best friend's girlfriend and the other one is walking by the street almost naked." Roman wondered how he made such "intelligent friends."

"Ouch," noise came from the now open bathroom.

"I hate you," Renee was shouting at Seth, beating him with a towel. Roman heard her admitting, "I really thought we slept together."

"I'm sorry."

Roman interrupted their little "post-coitus" fight, "How you're feeling?" He directed the question at Renee.

"Better now that I know nothing happened." She really looked relieved. Although she was still a little greenish, one didn't need to worry about her mental health. But to make the guys sure Renee was fine, she added in a serious manner, "I'm okay. Kinda," she didn't want to lie.

"Not to make you worried again, but we really need to clean this up and get rid of Seth."

"Hey, I'm right here," Seth spoke, his pride hurt.

Roman went back to cleaning, hoping someone would join him. Picking bottles off the floor he explained, "Dean will be here soon." That was questionable. For all Roman knew, Dean might have gone who knows where and return only in a couple of hours – if at all.

Now Renee remembered. She knew what happened last night, and the thoughts that she had at night were back in her head. "So?"

"Dean cannot find Seth in here."

"What if he does? I mean, does it really matter?" She was thinking about that making-him-jealous thing again.

Roman stopped picking litter and looked at her very seriously. "Yes, it does. He could very easily make his own image of last night when he sees you two together."

"I'm aware of that," Renee admitted.

Now even Seth was curious, but also worried. He found it strange that Renee would be okay with Dean's seeing Seth – only in his boxers – with her.

But Roman was the one to talk to Renee about this. He argued, "He'd get jealous. He'd go mad. Crazy. Seth would be the first one to blame and Dean wouldn't hesitate to reward him with a beating. Do you want that to happen?"

She probably didn't realize that. "No," she said quietly. "I wouldn't let that happen."

"When he gets something in his mind, he gets hysterical and he doesn't care who gets in a way. You couldn't stop him. In worst scenario, you'd end up with a bruise as well."

Imagining that, shivers ran through her back. The terrified look returned.

That was when Roman added, not sounding so tense now, "Or he would laugh at how unconvincing that play you put on is. But you don't know. You simply can't predict how Dean will react."

Seth agreed with Roman. The face expressions that changed every three seconds were a bit confusing but definitely disapproving of making Dean jealous.

Roman finished by saying, "Seriously, Renee, that would be a really,_ really_," he stressed, "stupid thing to do."

As soon as Renee nodded, she had to put a hand on her mouth. That movement made her sick again.

Seth furrowed his eyebrows and bit his lip when she passed him by as she trying to manage to get to the bathroom in time. "Well, look what I've done. I wanted to make her happy, but I made her sick instead."

"How much have you two drunk anyway?" Roman asked. There was so much trash everywhere. Empty bottles. Spilled liquid. Cashew nuts.

"Not that much. I felt worse," Seth compared the experience of last night with the other ones he had.

"Great to hear," Roman replied, and smiled viciously. "Go get the broom and then you can sweep the floor."

"I'm not feeling _that_ good," opposed Seth. Cleaning? That was a big _no_ for him. So instead of listening to Roman's orders, he lay down in bed again.

"Seriously? Renee's got enough problems of her own and you refuse to help? I'm not even supposed to be here. Why should I do everything?"

"Then don't. It's not like we can't find anyone to do the cleaning for us . . ."

Roman considered the option of forgetting about his tidy and organized nature and instead joining Seth in his laziness. Well, it really wasn't up to him to clean the mess he hadn't caused.

"Take a chill pill, Ro. Relax."

Finally, he lay down next to Seth. "This feels better," Roman admitted.

"Right?" With a smile on his face, Seth reached under the bed. "Beer?" he offered Roman a full bottle, and he didn't hesitate to take it from him.

"It's not like it's our room anyway . . ." Roman said while opening the bottle. Mess or no mess, now with beer in his hand, Roman couldn't care less.

Lying as if nothing mattered, Renee found them enjoying the carefree moment. "So is Dean supposed to find me with you both now?"

"Ren," Roman spoke with great difficulty. Mostly because he was busy with drinking the beer while lying, but also because it was a serious topic he meant to open. "What's your situation?" He wished to finally hear the truth about her and Dean.

Renee found herself a comfortable place to sit down. She had a glass of cold water on the table next to her, and to feel even better she put her legs up on the side of the bed. Seth could reach her feet with his so he playfully touched them and then they tried to connect their toes, while Roman was made to wait for Renee to speak. She had to calm herself first; she didn't want to have another embarrassing moment of rushing into the bathroom.

"The situation is that now we wait for Dean. And then," it was evident that she really didn't care, "you two can decide."

Seth and Roman looked at each other in surprise. But they somewhat liked the chance they'd been given. "Let's Dean amaze us," Seth uttered.

And like that, the three of them waited. And waited. And waited. Until . . . "He's not gonna come," Renee said.

"Give him one more minute," Roman asked for a favor for his friend.

"Seth, what you told me last night . . . do you still think I should do it?"

"What?" Roman didn't understand.

Renee explained to him since he wasn't present at her and Seth's conversation last night, "He said I should break up with Dean."

"Why would you say that?" Roman hit Seth, who was still lying next to him.

Renee was the one to answer that question. "He said that Dean's unreliable, and that he's more of a burden to me."

"Whoa, I never used _those_ words," Seth was offended by her incorrect paraphrasing.

"Well, do you still think we should break up?"

Maybe it was best that Seth had trouble answering that question, because Dean could hear every single word. He was standing right outside the door, but the ongoing conversation prevented him from knocking on the door. Now he was taken aback by his supposedly friend's words. But he understood and wasn't mad at Seth for expressing his honest opinion. Renee would be better off without him, he realized. They _should_ break up . . . Dean suddenly smiled. He remembered how Renee once told him not to do something just because you should. He definitely wasn't going to.

Therefore he knocked.

"Dean," Renee gasped.

He skipped hello. His right hand found its way on Renee's neck to enable him gain control. Renee knew what would come. A kiss. But she was a little surprised when Dean only gave her an innocent kiss on her forehead. He then smiled awkwardly and whispered into her ear, "You're not gonna be the one that got away." And he revealed the reason why he had been keeping his left arm behind his back until now. It wasn't a dozen of red roses. Dean held a teddy bear. Light brown stuffed animal with big eyes and snuggly body.

"Keep him," Roman cried.

Only now Dean fully noticed the room in its complexity. The mess, the smell, the two guests now sitting on _his_ bed. But that didn't alarm Dean or made him suspicious. None of those things that he saw really mattered to him. The only thing he cared about was his girlfriend's forgiveness; the one he didn't consider relevant just a few hours ago.

He said – to his girlfriend only, "I'm not gonna go. If it's the wedding or you, I choose you. I'm sorry I didn't make it clear yesterday." Renee still didn't say anything, so he continued, smiling now, "And I'm sorry I made you go through _this_," he said in regard to the mess. When he realized she got drunk because of him, he felt awful. Besides, he could see that Renee was still a little hangover. In fact, Renee was quite pale and she looked fragile.

"Renee," Seth tried to get her attention. "Keep him," he agreed with Roman. If Renee wanted them to decide, their decision was unanimous.

"Maybe I'm stupid, but I don't want to end this relationship," Renee said. "And maybe I'm even more stupid because I'm telling you this, but . . . go." It was not giving him permission. This was much more.

"No," Dean opposed.

"Yes. It's what you want. Just because I have doubts about her intentions doesn't mean I need to doubt yours. I said I trust you, and I do. So . . . go." Dean still hesitated. He couldn't hide that this decision surprised him, and also confused him. "You see me here with Roman and Seth and you say nothing. I know, it's not the same, I've never had anything with them, but still, they're men and they're pretty attractive," Renee tried to explain what stood behind her decision. "You know that nothing will happen between us; you trust me." Dean nodded, although he couldn't shake the confusion, which was now also building on Seth and Roman's faces. "You don't tell me to not hang out with someone. You don't make me stop being friends with someone; why should I do that to you?"

"Renee, you don't need to make me get my way."

"I know, I know. But I don't want to change you or your surroundings. I fell in love with you, not the person I wanted you to be. If she's the person you want to keep in your life, do it. I'm not your girlfriend to make you question your decisions and argue with you because of them. I'm here to support you. I love you. Unconditionally," Renee finished her confession. At the end, she was smiling. She didn't have this speech prepared but she liked how it turned out. Maybe spontaneity wasn't that bad after all, she thought to herself as she saw Dean smiling back at her, wishing to lose the crowd and be alone with the most amazing woman he ever loved.

But the crowd was present and Roman and Seth made themselves heard.

"You should marry that woman," Seth called.


	75. Chapter 75

Dean was late. The reception had already started. When he walked inside the big hall, people were no longer sitting at the tables but they were mostly on the floor, dancing. The band was playing a song he didn't know, but it was one of those annoying romantic ballads. Now what, he thought to himself. He searched the room for somebody he'd know. It was surprisingly hard to locate those few people. But he spotted the bride and, by his assumption, the groom wouldn't be far away. That proved right. Josh was right next to . . . Dean couldn't take his eyes off the bride. God, was she gorgeous. She always looked beautiful but today she was really stunning. Maybe it was because of the enormous white dress and the long veil, which both, in connection with her natural supernatural – meant in a good way – look, made her look like a princess. But that was enough of longing for something he couldn't have. Dean didn't really want her either, not in any other than animalistic way.

His eyes were hard to control in the room full of young and attractive women, many of whom were models – just as the bride – but Dean did his best to focus on something else. Like the man of the hour. Dean walked briskly, making his way through the crowd, taking a glass of champagne along the way. He took one sip, but as he really liked the taste, he drank it all. At least he could get rid of the glass and continue with free hands.

Right now Josh was sitting at the table, talking to his best man, who Dean had never seen before. Dean realized he knew too few people to actually enjoy this place. But he came and it would be weird to leave now. Besides, he didn't come because of the wedding.

"Josh!" Dean in an instant created a beautiful fake smile on his face.

Clearly Josh was surprised to see him there. "Dean, great to see you." He was glad, though, despite of the surprise. He stood up and invited Dean to come sit beside him; why to talk with table separating them.

"Nah, I just wanted to say what a _beautiful_," he purposely overstressed that word, "wife you have. Congrats, man."

"Thanks, and hey!" Josh acted offended. "You came just now?"

"Yeah. I missed the ceremony." While talking, Dean was paying less and less attention to the man he was talking to. The room seemed to be distracting him because he kept looking around. "Do you know where's your sister?"

Josh laughed. "I could have thought you'd be more interested in her than in me. Even at _my_ wedding, she's number one, isn't she?"

Dean grinned at him.

"I'm really sorry, but I haven't seen her."

Dean had one more question on his mind. "But . . . she's here, isn't she?" If she wasn't, being here would be pointless.

"She should be around." That information relieved Dean.

But if she was there, she had made a great job at hiding from his view. But Dean was determined to find her. Even if she were just a needle in the hay, even if it was to take several hours to detach her from the crowd, sooner or later he had to spot that girl with hair like a flame.

No. There was nobody with red hair; at least not anywhere near him. Maybe if he stopped moving around. If he sat down and patiently waited. There was an empty chair from which he could get a good view on the whole place. Dean didn't care who it belonged to. He would sit there for just a minute, he justified it to himself.

His eyes kept on searching. He was so focused that he didn't notice when an older woman sat down next to him. "Are you a friend of the groom or the bride?" she asked in a sweet voice of fairy; or that of a loving grandmother.

"Groom," Dean uttered, still looking away.

"Me too. Josh is my nephew." Dean briefly looked at the woman and smiled to avoid looking hostile. "Isn't it wonderful how you always find that one right person for you?"

Oh, God, Dean sighed covertly. Not this kind of conversation, he said to himself.

She continued speaking, in her typical slow way, "Are you married?"

"No."

"Have you found that special person yet?"

Dean looked at her, showing that he was paying attention to her, but he didn't answer.

"You don't like talking about serious issues, do you? But I am sure that you think about them. You're at a wedding. When you see your friends getting married, you wonder where you are heading with your life."

"I have time for that," Dean replied.

"You remind me of my other nephew, Levi."

Dean grinned. Yeah, that may have been true. Levi was a womanizer kind of guy. He had had a number of serious relationships, but settling down? Getting married? That was out of question, at least for now.

"I know him," admitted Dean. "He's a good guy."

"He has the horns of a devil, but the heart of an angel," said the woman.

Dean went back to searching the room. He thought that maybe the woman would leave – or at least stop talking – if she saw that he wasn't that interested in this discussion.

"I know that now Levi rejects the idea of getting married, but I'm sure in a year or two we'll be sitting at his reception. Are you two good friends?" she wanted to know.

"Yes."

"How do you know the Morgan family?"

That was something she didn't need to know, Dean thought to himself. Fortunately, she didn't seem to demand that answer. She got distracted by hearing a song she liked and forgot about the question.

"Do you dance?" she asked.

"No."

"Dear lord, where did men stop dancing? Dance is a great ice-breaker, you know?"

He nodded awkwardly.

The lady shook her head. "I believe that if you were with an interesting girl, you would dance." Dean had to smile. She wasn't far from truth. "Let's find you one." Now she became the one looking around, trying to find that person for Dean.

"I'm okay right here," Dean opposed.

"Dear, if you saw this girl . . . She is the sister of the groom."

"Cassie," Dean was faster to say her name.

"So you know her?"

"A little," Dean lied.

"Take _her_ out to dance. Maybe when you get to know each other better –"

Dean didn't let her finish. "I don't think so. But do you know where she is?" Dean used the opportunity to ask.

"She's got to be here somewhere. I haven't seen her for a while. I think she's avoiding me."

Why would that be, Dean asked sarcastically, but in his mind only.

Then the woman reflected, "I wish we'd find ourselves at her wedding soon. But she hasn't been quite lucky in her love life."

"Really?" Now that caught Dean's interest.

"I keep telling her that if she wants to find someone, she needs to look for that person, not wait passively until her prince on a white horse comes." Dean laughed, because he thought it was expected of him. "She has to go out on dates."

"She's not into dating?" Dean asked.

"No. Would you believe that in the past two years she's been only out with two or three boys? She almost got serious with the last one, but then something happened between them. I don't know what; she never told me."

"When was that?" He got suspicious.

"_Months_ ago," she said with exaggerated emphasis. "And she's been single ever since."

Dean would bet that he was the Cassie's last guy. That information was not that easy to process. Not many boyfriends in the last years, and when came the one that could have stayed for longer, she let him go.

"You know what?" Dean suddenly spoke again, while standing up. Looking in the eyes of the woman, he said, "I'm gonna go dance with her." He smiled and left.

So the search continued. But it was better to walk around the room than sit down and being obliged to have another useless conversation.

He was in the middle of the dance floor – strange place to find yourself in, alone – when he felt a hand touching his shoulder. He turned around to see the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

"Cassie?" he asked in a daze. The blonde hair surprised him.

"I thought you wouldn't come," she said, still smiling.

"I said I would." His voice sounded hypnotized. He couldn't tell what it was. Well, her, obviously. But why? Was it because he hadn't seen her for so long? Was it because of her different appearance?

"I know . . . but, frankly, I didn't expect to see you here."

"Do you want to dance?" Dean asked suddenly.

"No," she chuckled. "I don't dance."

"Come on," he tried to persuade her.

"No." She took his hand and dragged him away from the dance floor. Back to the seat. A different one now.

"You look –" Dean wanted to compliment her, but she put her finger on his lips.

"Hush, my dear."

"But you do." He took a good look at her. Her long straight blond hair, which suited her so much. The dress. "I've never seen you wear a dress," he reflected. This one was a short one. It was one of those dresses that look as if the top and the skirt were separated but it was just one piece. The top was black and sleeveless, only with stripes, which couldn't be more than seven centimeters wide. The bottom of the dress was a circle skirt of beige color. Then Dean looked at her shoes. "Since when you wear high-heel shoes?"

Cassie looked down as if she wasn't sure what shoes she was wearing. She put her feet together and clapped with the sides of the shoes. "This is a special occasion," she explained.

"It sucks that during the time we dated there wasn't a single _special occasion_." The note was left without a response. Cassie seemed more interested in playing with her shoes. Then she leaned forward and reached for the high heels to take them off. She put the shoes under the table and stretched her legs and feet.

"You know how I hate doing this. Being here . . . wearing this."

"I'm not a fan of formal events either."

"Being surrounded by your family which you try to avoid the whole year," she joked.

"I was just talking to your aunt a moment ago."

"Oh God," sighed Cassie. "She's one of those 'When are _you_ getting married?' I can't stand those types."

Dean could sympathize with that. But bringing up this topic, he remembered something he wanted to ask about. "Cassie." She lifted her head to look at him. "Was I the last guy you dated?"

"Maybe," she replied, trying to sound casually. "Does it matter?"

"No. I don't know. Isn't it funny that we broke up months ago and we're still here together?" She stayed quiet. "In a way, it's as if we were still a couple."

Now she chuckled. "There's a difference. If we were still together, we'd be having sex in the bathroom right now," she joked.

He laughed, but only for a second. Then his face got serious. "Cassie," he called her name again. "Are you still in love with me?"

"I don't know. I mean, I don't _want_ to know. Let's not open this topic, okay?" She seemed a little bothered. She put her shoes back on. "I'll be back in a minute," she said and stood up. Dean knew she was just escaping, but he let her.

He kept sitting there, thinking. Not long, though. He went to the other table, where he found Josh, who just returned from the dance with his new wife.

"Give me a break, will you?" he asked her gently. Fortunately, there were other people who wanted to have a dance with her; she was a pretty damn good dancer.

"Oh, Dean," Josh noticed him. He still sounded tired; his breathing was heavy but he found himself a glass of water – nope, that's not water, he realized immediately but drank it anyway. "I've been married for just a few hours and I'm already getting sick of it," he joked.

"That's why I'm never getting married."

"I used to say that too. Now look at me." He looked away when there appeared a waiter with a tray of glasses with champagne passing by. Josh took two glasses and handed one over to Dean. "Have you found Cas?"

Dean's face looked distant. "Yeah. About that, it's weird that we're still friends, isn't it?"

"I thought it was weird when you broke up."

"You're not helping me."

"Sorry. It's just that when I met you, that day she brought you to my apartment, I thought you'd be the one that wouldn't leave. At least not so early."

"Really?" Dean smiled sarcastically. "If I remember it well, you wanted me gone the second I stepped inside."

"Because you were so drunk. But in the morning it all changed."

"That was one tough morning," Dean reflected. "I drank so much the night before. In the bar before Cassie, with Cassie, then in the karaoke bar, and again when we got back to the apartment. But it was one hell of a night. It was like three or four dates in one."

"All I remember is getting back to the apartment in the morning and finding you lying in the living room on my couch."

"That's definitely a strange place to end on a date."

"But I was only happy when I walked into my little sis's room and found her there."

"If I was there with her, you'd kick me out?" Dean wondered.

"I definitely wouldn't make you a coffee."

"Don't forget the breakfast," Dean reminded him.

"I still can't believe all the stuff I told you. To a practically complete stranger. About me. About my sister."

"But if it wasn't for you, maybe that day would be the end of it. I'd leave in the morning, maybe even without saying goodbye, and never look back."

"Well, isn't it what you did later anyway?"

Dean let that soak in. He finished his glass. "Excuse me," he said, and then he was gone.

He found her instantly.

"No." Dean's way was rudely blocked.

"Seth? What are you doing here?"

"Stopping you from making a huge mistake."

"I just need to talk to her," Dean said absently. She was still in the sight; he could get to her . . .

"No."

Dean surrendered. This wasn't a time when he would insist on what he initially wanted. He let go and obeyed. "Okay."

"Let her go."

That was not necessary to say; Dean already had. "Tell her that I'm sorry."

Seth nodded. Somewhat satisfied, Dean turned around. There was nothing left to do. He had done the damage. It was a depressing realization, but he finally saw that not everybody could be happy.

Dean kept walking outside, although the party was still in progress. His thoughts were directed at the person he had hurt. All this time he thought that it was Renee who he made miserable by his actions. But what about Cassie? The person who started the evolution of Dean Ambrose. She prepared him for Renee; then she helped him keep the person he left her for. And now would he let her go because he had no use for her anymore?

There was a bench right outside where he sat down. He held his head in his hands. In that position he stayed for a minute, then he straightened up his back and looked ahead of him. At the road. Passing cars.

_Not like this_. Dean told himself that he couldn't end it this way. He had to give her a proper apology. Explanation would be better; but could he answer the question _why_ he did what he did? No.

Assured of doing the right thing, although not feeling quite ready, he stood up and returned to the place he had thought he left for good. Once inside, he could start from the scratch. The search. Where was she? Maybe if he waited for a moment, she would show up. So he did. Still nothing. She was not dancing and she was not sitting at the table. She was nowhere near the happy couple.

Dean asked himself, what would you do if someone broke your heart? If he cut the last string of your attachment to him? Cry. That's what any normal person would do, isn't it? But in the public where everyone can see you? No, of course not.

Bathroom, that's where she had to be. Dean knocked. It was women's bathroom; he would enter only if he had no other option. Well, it may have been urgent, but . . .

"Could you check if somebody's inside?" he asked a woman who was luckily passing by.

She did. "It's empty."

Cassie wouldn't enter a men's bathroom, would she? Although implausible, this wasn't difficult for Dean to check.

It was quite a surprise to see her there. It was even bigger surprise to see her making out with Seth.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Dean asked, in a shock. His mouth open, eyes fixed on his friends. Limbs paralyzed.

She came to him, a smile on her face. Then she softly touched his shoulder and spoke to him. "Sir."

Wait? What? That wasn't Cassie.

"Sir," the female voice repeated. Now Dean opened his eyes. "Sir, please tighten your belt, we'll be landing soon." Dean looked around. He was in an airplane. It was all just a dream. A sign? Warning? Clarification? If so, Dean was asking, of what? He'd need a specialized dictionary to decipher the hidden message. One thing was certain; the real wedding was still ahead of him.


	76. Chapter 76

This time it was all really happening. Dean checked that this wasn't just another dream. God, how could his brain come up with all of that? And how could he believe that bullshit? Seth and Cassie? What would Seth even do there?

Finally Dean felt relieved. The building he was about to enter looked nothing like the one his brain made up. But – the worries returned – the way he had dealt with Cassie stayed the same. He was unfair to her and obviously used her. He really owed her an apology, to say the least.

The room was crowded. The music was so fucking loud that he couldn't hear himself think.

"Levi," Dean called. "Levi," he shouted it to increase the chances of it being heard.

"Dean," he got a cheerful response. Levi waved to show Dean the way out of the jungle.

They found a somewhat quiet place by the wall, close to the table with different kinds of cakes on it. Levi took a chair from the nearest table and then drew another one for Dean. Dean refused to sit down, though. "I'll stay only for a moment."

"Come on, the party is only getting started."

"I shouldn't be here anyway."

"Why not?"

"It took too much effort to get Renee to let me come, and don't see it as a betrayal or something. And to make it worse, I had this dream – foreboding – that this will not end well."

"You think about it too much," Levi replied. Feeling strange standing while Levi was sitting, Dean sat down too. Levi continued, "This is supposed to be a happy event, right? Why should you worry?"

"I don't _worry_. Especially not about Josh's wedding. I wouldn't worry about anything else either. It's just that I spent too much time listening to Renee and Seth, talking to me about how bad it was that I still hang out with Cassie. And that I should think about what I've done or what." Dean sounded annoyed talking about it now. "I want a break from it all. They all tell me that I should feel guilty, and – putting all those thoughts in my mind – now I do feel guilty."

"Guilty?" Levi asked, his voice sarcastic. "Because of keeping in touch with my sister?"

"Yes and no. I don't know." Dean accepted a glass of champagne that Levi offered him. He drank it before continuing. "I feel bad ending it between us. When I think that it's for good," Dean cut it short.

"Look, Dean, this is your decision." Levi was already looking for another glass of alcohol. He'd prefer something stronger this time.

"Yeah, well, it's not really." Levi was not listening to him anymore. He stood up and searched for a shot of brandy or something. And Dean had no reason to stay there. Alone again, the scene reminded him of that dream. Cassie nowhere in sight . . . at least he wouldn't find her kissing Seth. God, that image popped up in his mind again. Disgusting. How did he come with that anyway? Was it because Cassie was always so psyched about Seth and when Seth talked to Dean, the topic of Cassie often came up? It didn't really matter, it's just that Dean couldn't let go of that part of the dream so easily.

It was so incredibly difficult to find her. Levi was happy in a company of some girl, now with a glass in his hand. And Josh . . . Dean spotted him in the distance, obviously laughing at something he'd been told by a friend. The bride was away from him, and she looked nothing like in Dean's dream. No veil, hair in an updo, dress less pompous. The dress wasn't even absolutely white, but why was he noticing those details? Great, she saw him looking at her. She smiled. It was too late to look away; she was already walking toward him.

"Alone in here?" she asked, flirting with him. Then she looked to both sides and evidently gave a signal to her friends because soon Dean found himself surrounded by bridesmaids. Dean felt strangely uncomfortable. It was wonderful to be around beautiful women, but at the same time it was frustrating to not be able to do anything about it.

Dean smiled, but then said, "Ladies, please excuse me." He stopped at the director of this parade. "Don't."

"Feeling tempted?"

Josh appeared from behind and kissed the bride. "Don't tease him, my love." He tied fingers with her.

But the bridesmaids stayed and each made a confident step toward Dean. They created a circle, and he was in the middle of it.

"Sorry, buddy," Josh apologized, "I can't control this."

It felt good for Dean, although he wanted it to stop. It was a temptation, but it was clear to all who were present that nothing would happen at the end.

The bride said to Dean, "Pick one and take her to dance." That couldn't do any harm, Dean thought to himself. He looked around to see all the options. The selection was great but why to settle for a bridesmaid?

Without asking for permission from her husband, Dean left the circle of women in short white dresses and took the hand of one in the dress of ivory cream color, with one-shoulder strap. He didn't remember her name – he never needed to know it – but he liked her. She looked good and she was an excellent dancer. "I want the best," Dean told her.

But she did look at Josh and wanted to know if it would be okay if she danced with Dean. Josh nodded; he wasn't a jealous type.

The music that was playing wasn't like the one in his dream either. The songs were rarely slow and never serenades. He hadn't heard a single pop song, when he thought about it. Finally something enjoyable.

"What's your name?" Dean asked. He felt strange dancing with someone whose name he didn't even know.

She laughed. "You're at my wedding and you don't know who I am."

"I know who you are. I just don't know your name."

"It was on the invitation."

"I never got one."

"Then I guess you shouldn't be here," she jokingly replied. She lifted her dress so that he wouldn't accidentally step on it.

"Why don't you tell me your name?" Dean wouldn't leave it.

"I don't know yours and I'm fine with it. Besides, we both know that you won't be around for long so –"

"I'm not dying," Dean didn't get her remark.

"I know that you're not _dying_. I mean that you are ending your friendship with Josh's sister."

"_Ending our friendship_," Dean repeated. "Gosh, that sounds horrible."

"It also is, don't you think? Who does those thinks intentionally anyway? I've never made it a plan. Like, from next Monday we're no longer friends."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"How would you define what you're doing then?"

Before Dean could answer – if he had something to say to that at all – the song was over. Somebody else demanded a dance with the bride, whose name stayed unknown to Dean.

Dean left the dance floor. He decided to join Josh and Levi, who seemed to be having a drinking contest. If the goal was to get wasted, Dean wouldn't mind.

"Dean," Levi shouted from afar. He took a glass and stretched his arm to hand it to Dean, although he still wouldn't get to them for a few seconds. Meanwhile, Levi drank one shot and so did Josh. "Come, come," Levi hurried him.

He had one, two shots, but he'd be far behind those two even if he had four in a row. Still, the celebration was only getting started for them.

"I think your wife doesn't like me very much," Dean told Josh.

"What are you talking about? She _loves_ you."

"Nah. But she has a point," admitted Dean. "What I'm doing to Cassie is wrong on so many levels. God, she's gotta be pissed."

Levi laughed. Then he shared a sarcastic look with his older brother. They were far from being worried. "Cassie isn't your regular girl. She won't get angry at you that easily. She had the best possible upbringing. Four brothers. She learned that cry or getting offended isn't the way. She learned to strike back. Which got her into trouble before," Levi reflected.

Josh continued, because Levi was getting off the track. "That's irrelevant now. Look, Dean, Cassie knew this day would come. She has already made her peace with the situation."

"What trouble?" Dean was curious.

"You know, the assault."

"What assault?" This was the first time Dean heard of it.

"If Cassie never told you about it, we shouldn't," Josh said, hoping to prevent his brother to reveal something that was supposed to stay hidden from Dean.

"But –"

"That just proves that your letting her go won't break her. She's been through worse."

"Did someone attack her?" asked Dean.

"No," Levi laughed. "She did." He sounded proud. "At least you can be sure that as long as she doesn't hit you you're okay. If you find yourself with a black eye though, you really pissed her off."

Levi poured himself and the other two another drink.

Dean wondered. "Are you serious, or was it a boxing accident?"

"It really happened," Josh agreed with what his brother had been saying. "But also it was the end of her boxing career, if ever there could be any."

"She said she chose law to boxing."

Levi chuckled. He was amused. "_Chose_?" he repeated sarcastically. "She was _made_ to stop boxing. Professionally at least."

Josh ended it, "Enough about my little sister. You're forgetting to drink." He pointed at the full glass in front of Dean.

"Okay, one more," Dean agreed. He needed to talk to her, and he had to be sober for that. Even if he didn't need to make her forgive him – because, as those two were saying, she wasn't actually angry at him – he felt the obligation to apologize, or try to explain to her why he was letting her go. To get some closure and end it on good terms. To see that she was okay and didn't feel betrayed. After having another shot, Dean spoke again, "So where is she?"

"Who now?"

"Cassie."

"Oh, Cassie's not here," Josh said matter-of-factly.

"What?"

Josh didn't understand why Dean was making such a big deal out of it. "She left right after the ceremony."

"She's seriously not here?"

"No."

"She said she might stop by a little later," Levi said, as if he really believed that she would.

Josh definitely didn't. "Yeah, like she's spending more time than inevitable at a wedding."

"Why did she ask me to come then?" Dean didn't understand her strategy.

"Honestly, Dean, nobody expected you to actually show up," admitted Josh.

"Where is she now? She's still in town, right?" He didn't get a response. Both Josh and Levi were busy. "Guys, stop drinking for a second and answer me. Is she or is she not still in town? I really need to talk to her." Dean took the glasses – as well as the bottle – away from them. "Where could she be?"

"She's at her friend's place." Dean stood up, as if he actually knew now where he'd find her.

"Stay with us," Levi begged. "Celebrate, drink," he got hold of the bottle again.

Josh joined, "She won't leave until tomorrow."

Dean resignedly sat down again. But he didn't plan to stay for much longer. "I need an address."

"No, you need another glass," Josh said and snapped his fingers at Levi.

Dean accepted what Levi had poured him. "Let's make a deal. You give me that address and I'll bring her here."

Josh didn't object. He found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote down the address that Dean had been asking for. "Good luck with that," Josh said and handed Dean the paper.

Dean just mumbled, "It's her brother's wedding, for Christ's sake." Why would somebody choose to skip such event?


	77. Chapter 77

"May I help you?" Well, that was odd, Dean thought to himself. When he heard that Cassie was with her friend, he imagined a female of the same age as Cassie, a brunette. Not too tall, not too short. Always smiling as Cassie was. Friendly. But the person that opened the door was a young male, a little shorter than Dean, looking rather suspiciously.

"Is Cassie here?"

Dean wasn't able to sound normal; he felt strange and he wanted to know who this guy was. And why was Cassie at his place? Dean had no right to be jealous, yet he was. And he certainly didn't like this random person. Fortunately, he somehow managed to avoid asking the question that lingered on his mind – _Who the fuck are you?_

"Cass," the guy shouted, still keeping his eyes on the uninvited guest. The suspicion was mutual. "You know this guy?"

Dean could hear her certain steps.

"Dean," she said happily. Dean thought he would keep his cool and stay confident, not showing any affection, but he couldn't. It didn't matter that he was standing beside a complete stranger when he saw her face. It's been such a long time. And Dean suddenly realized – as if he has only been told – that it would be the last time.

She didn't hold back at all. She hugged him, excited to see him. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Looking for you," he replied quietly. The guy didn't need to be a part of the conversation.

"How did you know where I'd be?"

"Josh and Levi told me."

"You were at the wedding?" She probably really didn't think he would come. Now that she knew he did, she was incredibly happy. "Come inside," she said, like it was her house.

The real owner of the house just accepted the situation.

Dean whispered, "I'd rather go somewhere else. Just you and I."

Cassie sensed Dean had a problem with her companion. "Pete's cool."

"Pete?" The disdain was evident.

She nodded. Their relation clearly wasn't important to her. But Dean wanted to know. Family member? Friend? Boyfriend?

"I'd still prefer being alone with you."

"Okay," Cassie surrendered. No; she understood. If this was their last time ever, asking for privacy wasn't that much.

"Pete." The guy looked back. "I'll be right back." She gave him a kiss on the cheek, which didn't explain anything to Dean. But at least she didn't kiss him on his mouth.

About coming back, Dean thought that maybe he'd be able to change her mind about that, too.

Cassie went to take her purse, but since _Pete_ – oh, how Dean hated him – followed her to the living room, Dean waited alone. He wanted to be gone from this house as soon as possible. Cassie came to him, wearing the same clothes as before. Jeans and a two-colored tank top. Now they were ready to leave.

"Where now?" Cassie asked when she stepped out of the door. Their destination wasn't clear yet.

"Anywhere you want."

"I don't care. But it's getting late, so." Not that she was tired or would get scared walking in a dark city, she just wanted Dean to know that she didn't plan on staying long.

"How about this," Dean came with an idea. "We go to my hotel room, then we stop by at Josh's wedding, and finally I return you to this nobody."

"No," she refused.

"No to what?"

"All of it."

"You mind being alone with me?" Of course he minded her rejection of the first part of the offer the most.

"No," she replied shortly.

So far they only got to a bench on the same street as was the house of this Pete guy. Cassie sat down and Dean felt obliged to do the same. "You really don't wanna go somewhere else?" It was dark outside and this street was quiet. No traffic and no people. Just Cassie and Dean and the street lighting. Now that Dean realized these conditions, it wasn't that bad. Just the closeness of the house they just left bothered him.

"How's the wedding?" Cassie asked after the moment of silence.

"All right, I guess." He asked, "Why didn't you go?"

"I did."

"Okay. Why did you leave so early?"

"I don't like weddings."

Dean chuckled. "Why? Because there's always somebody to remind you you're next?"

"If anything, Levi's next," she joked. "But hey, how come you came?"

"I promised it to you."

"I don't dwell on promises," uttered Cassie. "I never thought you did."

"I don't know, Cass. If you knew what I had to go through just to get here . . . it'd be a wasted opportunity not to come. But I almost didn't come . . . a couple of times."

"You were going back and forth." She looked up at the night sky. "Renee knows you're here?"

"Yes. I'd say that too many people know that I'm here. They were all like'No, you cannot go. It's so wrong and blah, blah, blah," he impersonated his friends, Seth in particular. That reminded him, "I had this really strange dream on the plane here. I was at Josh's wedding. You were there too," Dean said as by-the-way. "Seth stopped by."

Cassie chuckled. "What was he doing there?"

"He said he came to stop me from making a _huge_ mistake. But he ended up kissing you."

"What?" she burst into laughter. Dean would expect a question like, _why would I make out with Seth_, but no, she had a different question on her mind. "Why would you dream about Seth and I kissing? Does it turn you on? That's a pretty weird fetish, you know."

For a second, Dean was speechless. "No!" he shouted a moment later.

Smile stayed on her face. "Seth, huh? Well, why not? I like him." It looked as if she was talking to herself rather than Dean. "Yeah, I wouldn't mind kissing Seth." Then she looked at Dean. "Relax, my dear. It's not like I'm gonna do it."

"He's engaged anyway," Dean uttered, sounding hurt.

"Don't be so jealous," she said, talking in a sweet, comforting voice. "Gosh, how does Renee handle your jealousy?" she wondered. "I guess that's not the right question. A better one would be, how do you handle her jealousy? Or is she not jealous at me? I know I would be," Cassie reasoned to herself.

"She's fine with you."

"Really?" That was hard to believe.

"Actually, I think that maybe, _if we behave_," Dean joked, "we can keep seeing each other. You know, probably not that often, but I think Renee would be okay if we hung out once in a while."

"Did she say that?" Really, really strange, _suspicious_, Cassie thought.

"Sort of."

"And you think it'd be okay?"

"Yeah, why not?"

Cassie smiled but shook her head.

She stood up. She made a few steps away from the bench, on which Dean kept sitting.

"Where are you going?"

She wasn't going anywhere. She stopped and came right back. "I should. I really should go _somewhere_."

"The wedding?" Dean guessed. He wasn't quite sure what she was talking about now.

"No," she sighed. "Leave the wedding topic. You're not getting me there, okay?" She put her hair behind her ear. The look on her face was a wondering one. "No. I mean leave. You know? Leave everything behind."

"Because of me?"

"_No_. Or, yes. Perhaps."

"I don't understand."

"You're weak," she said, which made Dean frown in confusion as much as in reaction to the possible offence.

Cassie laughed. "You're not _weak_," she changed her mind, or cleared the confusion that arose, and came to him to stroke his biceps. "You're blind," she said now. "Naïve. You think that it's okay if we keep doing this? That nobody will get hurt?" she asked.

Dean wasn't really following her. He needed her to speak more clearly.

"What is worse, I'm weak too. I'm not willing to give you up, even though I know it's wrong. I love you. I love you way too much to be able to live without you."

"You _love_ me?"

She looked down and chuckled. Then she looked directly at him, at his innocent look. "Yes. But not in the way _forget about Renee and stay with me_." She stopped talking.

"Cass," Dean addressed her. She seemed scarcely aware of his presence. Her eyes were directed up at the sky. The stars above her head. "Do you ever wonder what life would be like if we never broke up?"

That question certainly wasn't unknown to her. "Yes. I'm not proud of these thoughts, but they do occur."

Dean wanted to know something else. He opened his mouth, but waited with talking until she was looking at him. "You were the one who initiated the break up," Dean started.

"I was the one who broke us up, yeah," she reminisced. She didn't sound very serious.

"That's how you decided then. But what if you were to make that decision now? I mean, back then we didn't know each other very well. We'd been together for just a few weeks so it wasn't a big loss. Now . . ."

She continued, "Now I know you and you know me. Now . . ." She was unable to say more.

"What would you do?"

There was a minute of silence. Dean explained it to himself that she was thinking about it. She was. But she wasn't hesitating; it was all clear to her.

"I would do the exact same thing."

Dean was unsure how to feel about this. Should he feel offended? Even after months together, knowing him, _loving_ him . . . It seemed odd to him. Illogical.

Cassie saw his disillusion. She sat down next to him again. She let out a deep sigh before saying,

"Dean, the reason we broke up didn't disappear."

"You mean . . ."

"Renee. You love her."


	78. Chapter 78

Dean wore his not-really-clean jeans, V-neck dark green T-shirt, a jacket, which he kept unzipped, and a cap, to lower the chances of being recognized. But of course all his effort was destined to go to waste, because Renee dressed up very nicely. Her hair could be seen from afar. The short dress wasn't covering much. Dean was aware of the attention that her legs were getting. If only legs . . . The guys basically stared at her ass, too.

"I know what these people are thinking," Dean said with a hearable disdain in his voice. "Why is such a beautiful woman with that homeless guy?"

That brought a smile to Renee's face. At first she thought that Dean wanted her to declare the opposite, that he didn't look that bad, but he went on talking.

"You know, I'm trying to look like a regular person." He rethought what he just said and reshaped that sentence, "I mean, I do my best to not get recognized, and then you put on this."

A funny thought popped up in Renee's head. "Imagine it reversed," she chuckled. "You looking as if you had just performed at Carnegie Hall and I . . . well, I'd wear torn jeans – and not in the fashionable way – and some shirt with stains all over it. And messy hair, yeah, just like you," she joked.

"I thought you liked my style," Dean acted hurt.

Renee laughed. "Right, _style_."

"Joke all you want," he said in all seriousness, "but I bet those girls over there are talking about coming to me, not _you_, darling." Dean took off the black sunglasses. He patiently watched the group of three girls, giggling and pretending not to be looking at him.

"You know what? Go talk to them," Renee encouraged Dean, what put him in strange situation. Not only that he was shocked but he wondered if she really meant what she said. No. She had to be kidding. But . . . Anyway, they were just eighteen or nineteen years old. They would probably become speechless if Dean really walked to them.

After some thinking – what made Renee a little worried because she realized what she had said wasn't very clever, and she certainly didn't want Dean to listen to her – Dean chose not to go. He never really wanted to, to start with. "If I wanted to be surrounded by my fangirls, I wouldn't dress this way. But hey, how about this?" He returned to ignoring other people. "I dress up _for you_."

"What's the occasion?"

"No occasion at all." He walked as he talked, one hand holding the suitcase, the other in his pocket. "That's the point, right? You want me to look representatively. So that you wouldn't be ashamed of me."

Renee sighed. He didn't get it at all. "I'm not _ashamed_ of you."

He ignored her note. "We'll go around the city, looking sharp, as if cut out of a fashion magazine."

"Please don't take this to extremes," Renee pronounced her wish.

"I'm not," he replied, but a vicious smile was forming on his face.

They came to the car. Dean loaded the baggage and sat down. This didn't take long, because he was aware of people noticing him. Once he wanted to stay incognito. But this didn't bother him much.

Renee was already sitting in the car.

When Dean joined her, he asked, "Where do you want to go now?"

"We're going to the hotel."

That's not what I asked, Dean thought to himself when he started the car. He turned left. "I don't think so." He thought, Do I really want to do this? "What the hell," he said as a result, although out loud.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing," he mumbled when he realized she heard him.

"We have a schedule, you know," Renee reminded him. She realized they really weren't going where they should.

"To hell with that."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," she surrendered. She was looking out the window, she pretended she didn't care. She asked absolutely casually, "So where are we going?"

"Shopping."

Now Dean had her attention. She laughed. Did Dean really just say they were going shopping? "You're kidding me, right?"

"No, I'm serious. I don't want you to look at me and ask yourself why are you with me."

"Trust me. If I pose myself that question, it won't have anything to do with your outfit."

"Ok. But look at it from the perspective of the people who don't know us."

"I'd rather not," she mumbled, but she already knew he would continue. She'd wonder why he was even thinking about something so unimportant – he never gave fuck about opinions of other people – but of course he wasn't 100% serious.

"What could be the reason for your dating me? Either I'm rich and you're a gold digger. Or I am good in bed. Or I'm funny. Or you really don't wanna be alone."

"Or I'm getting old, my biological clock is ticking, and I just want to get married and start a family," she added another possible reason.

That comment made Dean a little nervous. He swallowed loudly.

"Infinite number of possibilities." And she continued, she was really enjoying this, "Or I love the challenge of taming you. Or . . ." she made a significant pause, "I'm pregnant."

Dean coughed. Where was all the air when he needed it? "Stop it," he begged. He was watching her more than the road. Fortunately, Renee didn't seem to worry about his reflexes.

"You started it," she reminded him.

He looked ahead again, but he had to ask. "You're not pregnant, are you?"

"As a matter of fact," she started. But then she smiled. "No. Now you can breathe again." The taming process was not finished. His reaction made that clear. Renee changed the topic – or returned to the original one, "So you want people to see us as two equals. Are you insecure?" she expressed her suspicion.

"No," he refused the accusation. Maybe a little too forcefully.

"You are," she teased him. The teasing was only short-lived. "You want to know why I'm with you?"

Dean nodded hesitantly. It was like, yeah, lie and make me feel better. Or, come up with something clever. But if she was to answer in a serious manner, he could imagine her saying "because I love you" – the universal answer.

That wasn't what she was meant to say, though. "Because you _are _funny and you _are_ great in bed. But I love seeing that you can be serious, too. And that you get insecure at times, even though at first glance nobody would guess that was possible."

"You're talking nonsense."

"You like hearing that _nonsense_." She knew him. "And I love that you're willing to go shopping to make me like you even more."

He put the hands off the wheel. They were waiting for the green light. It would take some time so he had a chance to finally look at her. Pay her all the attention. Even stroke her thigh. His hand stayed there only for a short moment though. The mirror that he glanced at reminded him that he had his baseball cap still on. He took it off and ran his hand through his hair. It really was messy. Maybe he could use a comb. "You have a comb or something?"

Renee burst into laughter. "You're joking, right?" Then she proceeded to kiss him on the cheek. "You look good enough," she whispered, just when Dean was pressing the gas pedal. "Actually," Renee continued, "you look pretty_ fuckable_."

"Did you just say that?" Dean asked, shocked. No, he was amazed actually. Again, the attention was taken of the road. His sparkling eyes were directed as his girlfriend. His tongue found the way out of the mouth to lick his lips, then it returned inside, just to get marked with Dean's teeth. And then – who cared that somebody was pressing a car horn because the pace of Dean's car was too slow – the tongue that was getting really impatient finally thrust into Renee's mouth.

The kiss couldn't last long; Dean had to pay attention to driving. But he glanced at Renee and demanded, "Say that word again."

"Fuckable," Renee repeated, very seductively. Sure, it was unlike her to say something like that, but only Dean was there to hear her, and he was evidently turned on by it.

"I love you," he said in a daze before connecting his lips with hers again.

Another honking directed at his driving came. "All right," Dean exclaimed, angry that he had to break the passionate kiss.

"Now you can change the direction."

"Oh, I'm not changing anything. I said we were going to a shopping center."

"But, why?" Renee was smiling. She had just told him that she liked him the way he was, that he didn't have to change for her.

"It can be fun," he said, surprising Renee.

"_Fun?_"

"Yeah, you know, you pick clothes for me, I pick clothes for you, and then we meet up in the changing room and have sex."

It somehow didn't sound like a joke to Renee's ear. On the hand, if this was Dean's idea of shopping, she could understand why he would do it, even be excited about it.

The radio had been silent until now. Suddenly Renee felt like listening to some music. Who knew how long they'd be stuck on the road? Well, she hoped Dean knew where they were going. Shopping center, ok, but where? How far? And sure, Dean didn't give a damn, but they had a schedule they had to follow.

"We'll be late," Renee said.

"I agree with that."

"But it doesn't bother you."

"Look, the worst is when you're the only one that's late. Then you worry. But hey, when it's you and me, when it's _us_ –"

"Get to the point."

"We'll enjoy this."

He let nothing show. He kept driving. He did his best to keep his face in the same expression. Renee was looking ahead of her, and so was he. But that melody . . . The song. _Careless Whisper_. Don't, break, the self, control, random yet meaningful words were popping up in his mind. That night, he remembered. That song. The karaoke. The duet. Cassie. The ginger girl with never-ceasing smile on her face. The one he had left behind. _If what you did to her you did to Renee, you would never forgive yourself. How can you forgive yourself now?_

Renee reached to change the station – not because she'd notice Dean's reaction to the song; she had no idea – but Dean stopped her. "Please."

"I didn't know you like that kind of music," she admitted. She let the song play.

Dean sat back again. "I don't. . . . It reminds me of something," he said to prevent looking suspicious to Renee.

"That's nice."

_Beautiful_, Dean thought sarcastically and smiled. "We're here," he announced to Renee and parked the car. Then he turned the radio off.


	79. Chapter 79

**No, this story won't go on forever :-) I recently reread everything I've written - gosh, it's long and tiring. I've realized how much mess I've made. Anyway, I don't know how many chapters there'll be till the end, but the last one will be out next week.**

* * *

><p>Dean woke up perspiring. There was cold sweat on his forehead but he felt hot. The bad dream was only partly responsible for this sensation. It was still dark; he couldn't see anything. He still hoped to be able to go back to sleep easily. Just turn the pillow to the other side . . . Nah, that won't work. The bed was rejecting him. He sat up slowly, eyes adjusting to the darkness and finally being able to identify the objects in the room. He thought that since he is already awake, he could go to the bathroom. But . . . it wasn't that easy. He tried to stand up, but he had to sit down again. "Stupid gravity," Dean mumbled. He gave it another try but the world had just turned around. His hand jumped on his forehead. It was unusually hot. Fever? Please no, he begged, but he knew that it was too late for wishing. The symptoms were coming to life. Dean had to lie down again. He lay in motionless position on his back with his eyes closed for five straight minutes. Then he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't see much for his eyes didn't feel comfortable in the dark anymore. They had been closed for too long. Dean let out a deep sigh. "I'm okay, I'm okay," he spoke silently, as if those were words with magical powers. "I'll be fine," he said at last and, determined, he sat up once again. He went even further; he stood up and completely left the bed. Ignoring the signs that were telling him what he was doing was stupid and he should return to bed, he walked briskly into the bathroom. He lit the light in there and stayed right behind the door. For unknown reason he was standing on the tiled floor, not doing anything. Waiting for someone? Hardly. But it may have appeared that way. Then, abruptly, he pulled his boxers all the way down. It was too hot to wear anything. On the right, there was a shower enclosure. The glass door was open. He stepped in and let the water pour.<p>

Somehow he successfully managed to get back in bed afterwards. For a moment, he thought he might pass out, but that didn't happen. Now that was an achievement.

He felt more comfortable after the shower, but it still could be better. Lying in bed seemed like a right step to take. If only sleep came soon. And the morning . . . In the morning everything would be fine, wouldn't it?

"Dean?"

Dean ignored the voice that was calling his name.

"Dean."

He turned his head to see. "Cassie?" He couldn't hide his surprise. "What are you doing here?"

She sat on the bed next to him. He was lying; he liked that she was right above him and that he didn't have to put much effort into preventing his body from letting him down. As long as there was nowhere to fall, he couldn't fall. At least in theory.

Cassie smiled at him and stroked his cheek. Then she leaned to kiss the same spot.

"What are you doing here?" he repeated his question. But that question wasn't indicating he wanted her gone, which he didn't either, but he should've. The voice in which he spoke didn't sound like him at all. It was enchanted, as if a result of seeing an angel.

"I'm not here."

"But I see you," Dean objected.

"This is a dream."

That sentence provided a key. He was free to escape. Dean woke up. And although he took a shower not that long ago, he was all sweaty again.

Dean's heavy breathing woke Roman up. "Bad dream?" he mumbled. He was only half-aware of the reality.

"Why?" Dean asked, but his question was not referring to Roman's. And he shouted, "Why can't I stop thinking about her?" He thought he did everything to make things right. He let her go, didn't he? Did he? Would he never see her again or what? Dean was confused, clearly.

"Can you shut up?" Roman replied. "Just sleep, okay?" That was a friendly advice. But if there was to be another round of shouting, Roman would reconsider the friendly approach.

"I can't sleep. I'm confused, scared, and feverish." Again he checked the temperature by placing his right hand on his forehead. Still much hotter than normally.

"You feel all right?" Roman's attention was on the rise.

"No," Dean replied shortly, sharply.

Roman worryingly looked at him. He even left the warm bed to go to his friend. Like a caring mother would, Roman, too, checked if Dean really was feverish. His hand after touching Dean's face became covered in sweat. "That's not good."

"But she was there."

"Where?"

"In my dream."

"Who?"

"She," Dean whispered.

Roman ignored the confusing conversation that was far from explaining something. He massaged the side of his face. The situation was calling for him to solve it.

Dean didn't care for Roman's Superman role in the situation. He turned to the other side – away from Roman – and closed his eyes. He had one hand underneath the pillow, the other on top of it, next to his murmuring mouth. "She looked like an angel. Somebody made a mistake." He curled up into a fetal position. "I belong in hell. How did I get to heaven?"

"You're on Earth," Roman cleared the facts for him. "And here are no angels."

Abruptly, Dean decided to pause the falling asleep process and sat up, looking fiercely at Roman. He came back to senses. "Screw you, Ro." And uttered to himself, "I can fantasize." Roman didn't have the chance to hear it loud enough to understand.

"Are you in pain?"

"_A_gonizing pain," replied Dean. "But I don't care about that." Suddenly the health issues were secondary. He kept returning to the dream. "Why was she here? I didn't call her."

"_Who?_" Roman almost shouted. If Dean was to continue talking bullshit, at least he could explain who was behind it.

"She."

"There are over three billions of this _she_. Could you be maybe more specific?"

But Dean couldn't, or didn't want to. "She keeps coming back. She won't leave me alone."

Although still far from certain what they were talking about, Roman offered his opinion. "Maybe you won't leave her alone." A sudden clearance struck. "Is this about Cassie?"

Not surprised by the question, Dean said, "It shouldn't be."

"Then stop thinking about her."

"That's not easy," Dean whispered, being ashamed of it.

"Gosh, is that why you're sick? You spend so much time thinking about her –"

"I don't."

Roman continued after being gently interrupted, "That you caused yourself this state. You are totally exhausted. Look, you know I'm not absolutely against your hanging out with her – as long as nothing happens – but you're not able to handle it."

Dean surrendered. "I'm not."

"Once you feel guilty because of what you're doing to Renee and in next moment you feel guilty because of what you're doing to _her_. You like it this way?" Roman sounded like an angry parent posing that question. It wouldn't be strange if he continued, saying _You young man better clean this mess up_.

"No."

"Gosh, Dean, it was simple. Why do you have to complicate it for everyone?"

"I . . ." He fell silent.

"Just keep living by the rules for once."

But Dean was already ignoring him. Moreover, he was pushing him out of his bed. Then he turned to the other side again, whispering, "I'm sorry."

He got a response. "I'm sorry." That voice didn't belong to Roman. It was Cassie again. Lying opposite him.

"Why can't I forget about you?"

"The guilt won't let you," the illusion of her explained.

"Do something. Do something that will make me _hate_ you. Fight with me. Give me a justification for our break up."

"We don't have to end things _that way_. So what if we just smile at each other and say _goodbye_?"

"It doesn't work that way. It won't help me forget you," Dean reasoned.

"Okay." She smiled. She took his hand into hers. "Then fill your head with other things. With other people. Why don't you think about Renee instead?" she suggested. She didn't seem bothered talking about Dean's current girlfriend; but then again, she wasn't real.

"I do."

"Not enough. Why don't you do something special? Don't you love her?"

"I'm not gonna propose to her, if that's what you mean."

"No. Take her somewhere."

"Where? I take her on dates all the time." He didn't understand; although Cassie was just an imagination created by his brain.

"Be more creative. Come up with something bigger than a _dinner_ or a _movie_. Or _sex_," she said, teasing him.

"And that'll get you out of my head?"

"If not that, then . . . family," she said happily.

"So we're back at the marriage topic?"

"And kids. Don't forget kids," she chuckled.

Dean asked," What do _you_ know about it?"

"Just as much as you do; that you think about future. Hey," she realized something, "isn't that why you were dreaming about the wedding that one time? And why you attended Josh's wedding?"

"You guessed right. It's _not_."

"You want explanation. There you have it." She kept teasing him. She was really enthusiastic about his possible getting married. "You can't stop thinking about wedding. _Your_ wedding. Maybe that's why you feel guilty. You don't like that we broke up, and just a couple of months later you would ask the girl – that maybe wouldn't even be your girlfriend if it wasn't for me – to become you wife. But what do I know?"

"Nothing, that's what."

For a moment they both stayed quiet. Then Cassie asked him, "Would you feel better if you had my permission?"

"Permission for what?" Roman's voice interrupted.

"What?" Dean asked. The dream was over and Cassie was gone.

"You were talking in your sleep. Or, hallucinating. Did you see her again?"

"Yep," Dean admitted. "Did you hear the conversation?"

"Some of it. Look, I wasn't listening intentionally, okay?"

Dean understandingly nodded. "I'm sorry I woke you up again."

"You can wake me up anytime. I'm here for you, I hope you know that."

Dean nodded again. Then, when Roman left, he mumbled to himself – or to Cassie who he knew he would see again as soon as he'd fall asleep, "I just want an excuse to move on . . . other than Renee."


	80. Chapter 80

Do something big, she said.

Maybe this wasn't what she had in mind, but it felt just right. Dean was happy with that idea and Renee, too, seemed to be enjoying their little getaway.

Dean was embracing Renee from behind, resting his head on her shoulder.

"Don't push me off the bridge," Renee joked.

Dean whispered, "I wouldn't do that in million years."

She breathed in the fresh air. The nature around them.

"You like it here?" Dean asked, anticipating the positive answer. "I know it's no Paris." That would be the ultimate "big thing." Considering the only option was to take her on a trip. Not do some big gesture.

"This is better than Paris," she smiled. The tone of her voice made it clear she really meant it. "Wouldn't it be beautiful to live here?"

"Live in _Canada_? No, thanks." The sarcasm was inserted there on purpose. Renee didn't need to know that Dean actually really liked the place. It looked so peaceful and made you stop worry and think about all the problems, or the busy schedule. Now it appeared they had all the time in the world. No hurry at all.

They had been standing on the Capilano Suspension Bridge for good twenty minutes now, in the same position. They were mostly quiet. Simply enjoying the moment. And that they could be there together.

"What is the reason for all this? Why are we here?"

There was no real reason. Definitely not Cassie and her telling Dean to do something big. Besides, that only happened in a dream and not in real life. Ok, frankly, maybe it prompted him to the idea of taking Renee somewhere, far away from everything, but definitely not the reason. He wanted to spend the free moments with her, that's all. And yeah, he considered buying plane tickets to Paris, or other major European city, but it would be too difficult. Especially now that they were touring on the west coast. And go to Paris just for two days – half of which would be spend in plane anyway? No, thanks, not worth it. So Dean thought of Vancouver. And there was no reason to regret that decision.

"We're here because we can." That was in a way the most honest and accurate answer he could offer to her.

"But . . ." Renee wavered. "It was your idea, wasn't?" Since she heard that many of the previous ideas, date ideas, that Dean supposedly came with were in fact Cassie's, she had to ask.

"I haven't consulted this with anyone," Dean replied truthfully. "It's all me," he added, somewhat proud of that fact.

Renee thought for a moment. She wondered why Dean thought that he needed someone to give him relationship advice when he was able of things like this. But her thoughts didn't reach Dean.

He wondered what others would think if they knew where he and Renee were. Nobody had any idea; Dean kept it a secret.

"You know," Renee suddenly spoke again, "I've never thought that one day we'll be here. Together."

Dean correctly guessed what was hiding behind her words. "It surprises you that we're a couple?"

"Yes. I'm still amazed by it sometimes. And that," she paused. "After everything that happened, we're _still_ together."

Dean looked ahead at the vague abstractness. He felt strange. Suddenly he seemed to have realized what was happening around him. He got this feeling that Renee was his girlfriend. He _knew_ _that_, but he had never really felt it. Like when you're going somewhere really far and you don't realize it, not until when you've already spent there a couple of months. It suddenly hit him. And also all those things that Renee had spoken about – what they'd got through. And more. Now he _knew_. "I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

"To act my age. Be in a serious relationship and don't count the days until it'll be over. I want it to last. I want _our_ relationship to last," he admitted.

She turned around to look him in the eye. There was a smile on her face.

But he still sensed that she didn't quite believe him. That it all sounded too good to be true.

"I'm serious. Look," he told her and stretched out his arm to point with his finger at some unknown point in the distance. She had to turn around again to see. Dean was touching her shoulder with the other arm, as if to secure that she really wouldn't fall off that bridge. Then, when she put her hand on the railing, he placed his hand on top of hers.

"What am I looking at?" she asked. There was nothing he could possibly want to show her. Not special at least.

Dean chuckled. Then, after silencing his mouth, he significantly leaned toward her ear and whispered, "_Our_ future."

She looked at him. "You're not scared of thinking about the future?" Renee doubted he could be able to get rid of that fear.

"No. You know," he reflected. "When you joked about being pregnant, I know I probably looked scared to death, but if a baby happened . . . I wouldn't freak out."

"Say it again," she teased him. No, he couldn't be serious.

But he took her hands in his and repeated, "I wouldn't freak out." He added, his hands in a don't-get-me-wrong gesture, "This is not me saying 'Okay, let's start having unprotected sex', but –"

It was a good thing that she interrupted him with a kiss because Dean wasn't sure how to finish that sentence. Or the whole thought, for that matter. He actually surprised himself saying those things. But he was glad that he did.

"You know, you're not the guy that I fell in love with." That confession confused Dean. Renee's smile, though, predicted a good ending. "But I love you even more than him." Dean chuckled. They always say "No, I'm not gonna change you," but they do. _Women_.

"That's a good sign." He stopped talking to prevent passing people from hearing their private conversation. When they were far enough away, he continued. "You remember Monday?"

"What's on Monday?"

"You don't remember," he said, somewhat let down.

But Renee smiled, letting him know that she didn't forget. "You wanted to ask me something." He told her about that "special event" – or whatever he had planned for that "Raw in Vegas" – so long ago, but she wouldn't simply forget about it.

"I still do."

"Wow," she abruptly exclaimed. "Of course I would remember," he stated for her the evident. "But how come you do? I thought you've long forgotten about it."

"Don't underestimate me."

"I'm not. I just . . . I thought that after everything that has happened, you wouldn't go through with it." She honestly felt that way. Of course she believed that Dean was forgetful enough to let that slip, but on the other hand, there was an option that Dean would change his mind. Or wouldn't consider it a good idea anymore. That no matter what the question that he wanted to ask her was, he couldn't get her to say yes.

Dean wasn't upset because of his girlfriend's possible lack of faith in him. "I see no reason not to." He spoke enthusiastically. "I love you. You love me. And I believe it's gonna stay that way. So why not to . . . maybe make a little step forward?

Renee was a little confused. Happy but puzzled. Where was all that confidence coming from, she wondered. He was not afraid. Actually it appeared more the way that he was looking forward to the future. Yeah, Dean certainly wasn't the same guy that he was when they started dating. "You're feeling all right?" she asked him.

"Better than ever. No," he laughed, "you really don't believe that I could say those things if I wasn't sick or _drunk_? Look at me, Renee, I feel _great_. I just . . . I've never been so sure as I am right now."

"Are you sure this isn't just a dream? That I'll wake up and –" Dean hushed her.

"This is real life. So what that it doesn't suck for once?"


	81. Chapter 81

"Just for your information, I don't approve this."

"Yeah, Seth. These days you don't approve of anything that I do." Dean sighed. "But to show that I give a fuck, I'm gonna ask. What the fuck are you talking about now?"

"Her being here."

Dean stood in awe. No words were necessary to describe his puzzlement.

"I know I said I wouldn't interfere with your life but –" He got interrupted.

"You can't help yourself."

Seth didn't find Dean's cocky attitude funny. He knew he messed up before when he took matters into his own hands. Dean was right; he couldn't stay away. Not when his friend's relationship and life was at stake. Seth cared; he couldn't pretend he didn't. What kind of friend he would be? Not a good one for sure, although it appeared Dean would prefer him that way.

"I mean well," Seth defended his actions.

"Sure you do . . . So what is this about? Is this another threat? Like when you jeopardized my relationship with Renee? Hmm? Tell me. Just say it, Seth. Make yourself feel better." Dean was daring Seth to do something that clearly Dean didn't want him to.

"Could you stop acting like a jerk? All I want is to warn you."

"Yeah, after all that's all you ever do, isn't it? It's not your fault it turns against you. You poor little bastard."

"Fine. _Be _an asshole. I don't care," Seth exclaimed, tossing his hands around. "Go ahead, fuck up your life completely."

Dean realized that maybe he went a little too far. But he didn't feel like apologizing. "All right." Lowering and calming his voice was all that he was willing to do. "What is this buzz about?"

"You know very well what this is about." Seth really believed Dean knew precisely what he was talking about and therefore no explanation was necessary. So he stayed quiet.

"Seth," Dean called his name, sort of begging. Although he made it hard to see, he wanted to know the reason why Seth came to him. He was curious at least.

Seth gave up. He wouldn't keep it to himself. He said, explaining his attitude, "I really don't think you should have invited her here. If you still believe you can make it up with Renee, despite all that has happened in the last few months –" Dean hadn't told Seth that as of right now, there were no problems that he and Renee'd be facing. Everything was all right between them. Actually, it was better than ever. But it appeared that Seth still thought the break up could happen any time; and it would – at least according to him.

"Wait," Dean interrupted him, concerned. "What are you talking about? _Who_ I shouldn't have invited?"

"Well, Cassie." Seth found it odd that it needed to be said.

"All right." Dean breathed in. He tried to clear his mind because he did not understand. It was not that Seth would speak confusingly, he just probably counted on Dean having information that he in reality missed. "Start from the beginning. Who is where?"

"Your ex-girlfriend Cassie is in the arena. And, in my opinion, it was not a good idea to invite her somewhere that your current girlfriend can meet her." Seth still didn't get it.

Dean raised his right eyebrow. "You see my surprised reaction and you still believe I invited her? This is the first time I hear about it. And I agree with you that it's not good." Dean looked worried. He really did.

"Are you serious? You had no idea at all?"

"Do I look like I knew that she was here?" He let go of the initial instinct to be sarcastic. There was no time. Dean realized that now was not the right time to show his typical nature but think and act adequately. "Where's she now?" He demanded an answer.

"I don't know."

"Where did you see her?" Dean asked another question. To show he really needed that information, his hands were on Seth's collar. It was not an arrogant or dominant gesture but rather an urgent one.

Seth thought; he needed to give Dean an answer. "I don't know . . . I only caught a glimpse of her. It could have been anywhere. These halls all look same to me."

But Dean was focusing on the opening part of the confession. "Caught a _glimpse_ of her? So you're telling me you're not even sure it was _her_?" Dean appeared much calmer now. The initial panic was gone since it was turning out Seth probably saw some other red-headed woman and mistook her for Dean's ex-girlfriend. That happens.

"No, no." Seth confidently refused being wrong. "It was _her_. I would recognize her anytime."

"Seth, you saw her once in your whole life."

"So what? I know what I saw."

"You're absolutely sure?"

Seth nodded. The worries had returned. Maybe it was a mistake . . . but then again, what if not? Was Dean willing to risk that Cassie could be walking through the arena and "accidentally" bump into Renee? "I need to find her before it's too late." He turned to Seth, "You're coming with me or what?"

Seth followed him without another sign of hesitation. While hurryingly seeking the trespasser, Dean had to wonder. "How did she even get here?" She did not work there. She had no right to get to the backstage. Yet she somehow did manage to get there.

"Too easily apparently," Seth replied. "Maybe she told someone she knew you."

"If it was _that_ easy, this place would be crowded."

"All right. But she had to do something sneaky."

Dean chuckled. "Like taking her shirt off." He wondered if that would get her in.

"Nah, she doesn't have big enough boobs," Seth jokingly uttered.

Dean stopped. He looked at Seth as at the mortal enemy. "_What?_" he asked angrily.

Seth didn't get scared, though. "You heard me."

"Like you saw her naked."

"As a matter of fact, I did."

"When?" Dean's irritated voice was indicating that it'd be better if Seth called off that statement. But he had no reason to; he knew he was in right.

"It was a while ago, but that image won't disappear from my mind any time soon," Seth kept teasing him. Dean still didn't understand, so Seth reminded him, "You had her picture in your phone, remember?"

Dean sighed. "_That_." It all came back to him. The naked pictures. The reason why Seth told Renee about Cassie. Dean had totally forgotten about it. Dean's face stayed serious. "For your own sake, I hope that you didn't send it to _your_ phone."

Seth dramatically laughed. "Ha-ha." His expression changed a second later. "Seriously now, your ex. Are you hiding something? Can _she_ reveal something that Renee's not supposed to know?"

Typical, Dean said to himself. Dean impersonated Seth, "Dean has to be hiding something. He's not faithful to Renee. Blah, blah, blah." Dean didn't even care to prove him wrong. If Seth wanted to believe that, then so what. The hell with Seth's distrust.

"Okay, okay. I don't suspect you from anything, Dean. I just asked."

"Fine." Dean took out his phone. "I'm gonna call her."

Seth waited.

"She doesn't answer."

"Try Renee," Seth suggested.

That proved unsuccessful as well.

They kept walking, looking around, but they couldn't see anything suspicious. And they saw neither Cassie nor Renee. That didn't necessarily mean that it was too late, that Cassie had already found Renee, but time was important here. They didn't have forever.

Seth noticed Roman. He asked Dean, "You mind if more people know?"

Dean indifferently shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, whatever."

Seth called at Roman – even before Dean got to finish the short sentence.

"We got a situation here," Seth told him.

"The Shield's on it," Roman jokingly said and raised his right hand to the side of his head – as if saluting.

"Cassie's in the arena."

"Oh."

Dean said, "Seth and I think that she might want to talk to Renee."

Roman looked down, then back at them. He looked uneasy. "Yeah." He cleaned his throat. "If you wanted to prevent _that _from happening . . . it's a little late."

Seth almost jumped. "You know about her being here? Why didn't you stop her?" He seemed more upset and concerned than Dean. As if all of this was his problem and not Dean's.

Dean looked pretty calm right now. He was watching Roman, who was returning the serious look. "_You_ invited her." Dean wasn't guessing; he was sure.

"Yes."


	82. Chapter 82

"_Why_ the hell would you do something so stupid?" It was Seth who posed that question. It was also him who took the information with unreasonable affection.

Dean had his emotions under control for now. "Seth, if somebody should be asking that question, I believe it should be _me_," he calmly said.

"But," Seth protested, switching looks between Dean and Roman. "Could somebody take this seriously, please?"

As if seeing his friend freak out made Dean realize that the situation wasn't in reality that grievous or presenting a great threat. Dean suddenly understood that Cassie was not an enemy; she wasn't there to sabotage his relationship with Renee. She could not have those intentions. But a similar question that bothered Seth rested on Dean's mind too. "Why did you ask her to come?"

Roman replied, "Because this needs to end. I witnessed the stress it gives you," he recalled a scene from few nights ago when Dean was not far from breaking down. "If you and Cassie are not able to see it," he started, but it was Dean who finished that sentence.

"Then maybe if Renee gets involved, I'll stop being a fool."

With big smile on his face, Dean put one arm over the shoulder of each of his two best friends. "You really are _won_derful friends. You only have the best intentions." He looked at Seth, who looked strangely uncomfortable being held so close to him. "You are there for me when I need you." Then he looked at Roman, but he addressed both of them again. "You are there for me even when I don't need you. I love you, guys." The warm voice was replaced by a colder one. "But stop bugging me. I know what I'm doing. I can manage my own life and my relationships, okay? I don't need your intervention. If you wanna know, I'm done with Cassie. I don't need her help anymore. Neither do I have time to keep that friendship. But if I were you, I'd be careful about _these_," he engaged his fingers, "decisions." Then Dean finally let go of the embrace.

Seth spoke to Roman, "He's not done with her. I wouldn't believe him. Or _her_." Seth always put a special, _despicable_, emphasis on that pronoun when connecting it to Dean's ex, whose name he pronounced as rarely as he could.

"For your information, Dean," Roman found courage to talk to him, and while doing so, looking him in the eye. "I didn't mean to upset you. Or cause you problems. I just think –"

"You _think_? No, no, no, my dearest fella, thinking is the last thing you did when coming with this 'solution.' " Dean scratched his face. There appeared pink lines afterwards. He smiled and punched his own face. The smile grew bigger.

"You look nervous," Seth noticed. "You have something to hide?"

"Where are they?" Dean addressed the person behind this, Roman. He started stepping around furiously.

"In the café near the Center."

"_Which_ café?" The sound hardly got out in between Dean's clenched teeth.

"You're not going there."

Dean took that order with surprising calmness. His breathing was coming back to normal. The anger from his face disappeared. And the reason for all this stood behind Roman and Seth.

"Renee," Dean cried and hurried to take her in his arms.

"What are you so happy about?" she asked, hugging him.

To Roman, Renee appeared unusually happy as well. "You went to the café, didn't you?" He suspected that maybe not.

"I met her; don't worry," she let him know.

It seemed a good sign that she went through that conversation and kept a smile on her face. Roman asked, "What did she say?"

Renee didn't tell him. Instead she turned to her boyfriend, "Can I talk to you in private?"

She asked quietly but the guys heard her. "Uh-oh." Seth suspected problems after all.

Dean followed Renee. He was worried, even though all he could see was her good mood. But exactly that was what he had troubles believing. Just as Roman. Just as Seth. That woman just sat through a talk with her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, and she was smiling. The only thing that could explain it was that Renee killed her. But that certainly didn't happen.

"Can you check if that room's empty?" Renee asked for a favor.

Dean unhappily did so. "Yes," he replied neutrally.

Renee smiled. She grabbed Dean's arm and made him enter the room along with her. Then she hurriedly closed the door. Dean expected the worst. He got the best. A hungry, passionate kiss. Renee took his shirt off.

"This is not a goodbye sex, is it?" It was still suspicious. Now even more.

"No," she gasped. Her lips reconnected with his neck. Her hands busy trying to get rid of the belt on his jeans.

Then somebody forced the door open. Renee stepped away from Dean, adjusting her clothes. The situation was more difficult for Dean.

"Oh, I'm sorry." The unrecognized person quickly realized that he or she was not supposed to interrupt what was happening inside. Whoever it was left instantly.

Renee laughed. "That was close."

Dean was enjoying her smiling face. He smiled as well. "What's gotten into you?" he asked. "You look so . . . perky."

She erased the distance between them again and gazed into his eyes for a short moment. With left hand she grabbed his hair, then let go and moved her hand on his face, stroking it. And she started making out with him again.

After their lips parted, Dean said, "Seriously. What's going on?"

"I got a little present." She reached to get something out of her purse. A folded piece of paper.

"What's that?"

Renee giggled. "Your penis." And as a result of evidently being turned on just by saying that word, her tongue invited itself in Dean's mouth.

In the next separation, Dean spoke up, "No, it's not."

"I'm sorry. I was supposed to give it to you, but I had to look."

She unfolded the paper so that Dean could see she was not lying. "God," he exclaimed. He knew now what this was. "It's a pretty damn good drawing," he had to admit. He worried how Renee would perceive that recognition that belonged to Cassie.

"Right?" she just said.

"You didn't freak out when you saw it?"

"Oh, no. I knew what it was. Cassie told me."

"God," he exclaimed again. "What did you two talk about?" Why was she so unbelievable happy? It couldn't be just the picture that Renee just carefully returned to her purse. She didn't want it to get destroyed or torn by accident.

Her hands were on Dean's trousers now, continuing with their job. "You really wanna know _now_?"

"Kinda," Dean said. Yes, sex sounded pretty appealing, but damn it! What did Cassie tell her?

Renee chose multitasking. Working on Dean's clothes and talking at the same time. "That she doesn't want me to perceive her as an enemy. That she wants me to know that she would never get intimate with you. That . . ." She got behind Dean's back, taking down his last piece of clothing. "Gosh, you have a beautiful ass."

"Did _she _say that?"

Renee laughed. "No. " She kissed Dean's now naked buttocks.

"You're confusing me, my love."

"Don't be so romantic."

"_What?_"

"Don't be so romantic. Don't call me _my love_, _darling_, _sweetest little angel_."

"Did I ever call you that?"

"God, I don't know. Perhaps." Her tongue started licking his abdomen. The she got up and looked at him directly. "Just skip the sweet words."

"Okay." He accepted the change of rules in the game they were playing. "You want me to be ruthless. I can be ruthless."

"Oh, yeah." She smiled.

"But why all of this?"

Renee softly grabbed his manhood. Then she formed a tight grip. "You know, to assert dominance." Half-joking, half-serious voice of hers sounded damn sexy. The whole attitude was.

Dean quickly placed his hand over Renee's to avoid possible pain or even damage. He loosened her fingers, then let them get back on his dick. But first he showed them how to take care of it. "Be gentle, _my angel_," he said, in spite of her wish to stop giving her affectionate nicknames.

"You will never cheat on me, will you?"

* * *

><p>"Does Dean know you're leaving?"<p>

"If Renee chooses to tell him."

Seth stared at her T-shirt. He didn't get to really see it before. And probably for the first time ever, he laughed in front of her, thanks to her. He read the title. "He bought in."

"Hey," Roman spoke, "you impressed him."

"I'm not _im_pressed," Seth replied, and tried to get the hateful expression working again.

"Ok, then I am. That was a pretty damn good match."

"Please." Seth rejected the compliment. "You're not gonna make me like you by fangirling over me."

"Fangirling? Excuse me?" Cassie laughed. "I'm not saying you look good. You have a big nose. You'd look terrible if you dyed all of your hair blonde –"

"_You _would," Seth childishly replied.

Cassie looked a little more serious now. "Why do you hate me, Seth?"

"Because I still don't believe that Dean didn't cheat on Renee with you."

"I would never be part of that."

Roman quietly listened to them. He didn't need to ask; he already knew. As did Renee.

"I've been there, Seth. My ex cheated on me. On his birthday I found him with his coworker."

Seth looked concerned. The cockiness was suddenly gone.

Cassie avoided the follow-up question. "Yeah, that's one of the reasons I broke up with Dean. When I heard him talking about _his colleague_, Renee, I got alert. I couldn't go through that again."

"Dean never mentioned that," Seth noticed.

"Because he didn't know. He still doesn't."

"I thought he knew everything about you."

She smiled without a reply. Then she took out a piece of paper from the back pocket of her jeans. She tried to straighten it out, but it seemed impossible. Roman and Seth could see that there was something written over it. Handwritten. At first glance, it all looked unorganized.

"Can I trust you that you'll give it to Dean?" She glanced at Roman, then at Seth. It appeared cleverer to give the letter to Roman but she chose to simply wait for one of them – any one of them – to take it.

"Sure," Roman replied and went ahead to take it from her.

Seth was faster. He got hold of the piece of paper and leisurely formed a ball of it. But he didn't cause more damage to it than Cassie already had.

"Without reading it," Cassie added, but Seth didn't seem to care about that condition.

"You won't come to Raw tomorrow?" Roman was checking.

"You know that I have other plans for tomorrow."

"Are you somewhere in your letter maybe mentioning that you're throwing a goodbye party tomorrow night?"

Cassie's look didn't say much. But at last she chose to be honest with them. She had asked them a favor, so that was in a way part of the deal. "Not really. But I told Renee everything. She knows that it's her decision now. If I see Dean tomorrow, I'll be glad. If not . . . I'm okay with it."


	83. Chapter 83

The letter was still in Seth's possession. He should have already given it to Dean, and he would, just . . . He took it out to look at it closely. The form the piece of paper had was sort of a ball, the same that Seth created a day ago. Now he straightened it with his fingers. Doing so, he accidentally tore a bit of on the left side, more or less in the middle. But nobody told him to take care of it, just deliver it, so the strange shape should not be a problem.

Both sides were covered in ink, one more than the other. Not everything was writing, though. There were drawings – which Seth didn't know were typical for Cassie. He just saw geometrical shapes, flowers, and calligraphically written letters. Then there was the main text. _A lot_ of it. Don't_ read it_. Seth heard her voice. But he had already noticed the beginning.

_Dear Dean,_

That sounded suspiciously enough to Seth. Maybe he should check for problematic text. Something that would not be appropriate to write to your ex.

Seth looked around to see if any intruders were present. But in reality, he was the criminal. But as always, he had the best intentions.

_Dear Dean,_

_We both knew this day would come. The day we say goodbye. But I'll never forget. The moments that we spent together were amazing. I've enjoyed every second I spent with you. It hurts me just to think that I'll never see you again. Maybe we could . . . No, that'd be too difficult. Not to forget wrong. We have to accept the reality. It's cruel, I know, but that's life. It's not always the way you want it to be. If it was up me, I'd never let you go. Because living without you is . . . God. I can't even imagine it. You were with me for so long – even when we were apart. Our relationship was a special one. It was almost perfect. But other people didn't understand. _

_My dear, my love, I'll always keep you in my heart. Since the day I met you I knew we were meant to be. It was destiny. I could've been sitting at a different bar that night, and you could've been in a whole other city. But the destiny designed it the way it happened. Our first meeting. And all that was to come. It was all part of a plan. Do you believe it? I do. And somewhere deep inside I believe that I'll see you again. Maybe you'll realize that in reality you want to be with me, that I'm the one. I know you feel much more toward me than you make yourself believe. Although we were a real couple for so short, and we didn't get to enjoy each other much, those days and nights had to leave a deep imprint on your heart, as did on mine. We've spent only one passionate night together – well, two, counting the time of my brother's wedding. That night was beautiful, but I don't need to remind you for you have your own memory of that very special time. You do remember, right? Do you remember? I don't think so. Because you're not Dean. Dean would never get to this part of the letter. He'd stop far before even getting to the second paragraph because he'd know those are all lies. But I hoped you enjoyed it. Who are you? Roman? Seth? I think you are Seth. Hi. _

Seth stopped reading and sighed. Jeez, she got him. He believed her. He fell for every single word. Cassie was probably cleverer than Seth though.

_I'm not mad that you read the letter despite I specifically asked you not to. Actually, I knew you – and I mean particularly you – would read it. Even if it were Roman who'd get hold of it. I know you're just worried and you want to be a good friend. I know you, Seth. I've heard so much about you. Dean told me so many stories that I made a pretty good image of you. But I hope that won't prevent you from reading the rest of the letter. Continue, please._

He wasn't going to stop. Since he got so far – and with the promise of telling the truth from now on – he wanted to finish it.

_Just in case you're Roman – or someone else, someone I don't know – I'm sorry for confusing you. In case you're the person I believe you are, I know you are, I'm not sorry at all. You deserved every bit of it, and everything that'll come. You're a hypocrite, Seth. You pretend to be a good guy, but you're doing all wrong things. Let Dean breathe. Why don't you believe in him? Why are you making him so miserable? Is he a child? No. He knows what he's doing. He doesn't need you to tell him what he's doing wrong. What he should and shouldn't do. Maybe I'm the same as you right now because I'm going to tell you what to do. Apologize. To him, not to me. I can take the unfound hate. I won't see you again so your feelings toward me don't matter to me at all. Go ahead, waste another bitter comment on me. But see your behavior in its complexity. And, please, realize that when Dean really needed you, you weren't there for him. Have you given him useful advice? I don't think so. If yes, I apologize. _

The small handwriting continued on the other side. Seth turned the page with a bitter expression on his face.

_Are you still with me? I hope so. Because now I have something important to tell you. Do you remember the time when Renee came to you with her problem? When she realized she wanted Dean to be more than just her friend? Yes. Dean told me about this. You were there for her, right? She could talk to you. You were someone she could lean on. But Seth, do you realize that I acted the same role for Dean? He needed advice. When he was with me, when we broke up and he got together with Renee. I was just someone he felt comfortable talking to about all sort of stuff. And it kind of sucks that it was me. Why didn't he come to you for advice? Have you ever wondered about that? _

Seth stopped reading. She got inside his brain and now he had to pose himself that question. Maybe she had a point. There was a chance that Seth wasn't supportive enough. Dean was afraid of hearing another negative comment on his actions. The hell with her, ran through Seth's mind.

Now Seth only glanced at the letter. To see how much more there was written. And if there was something for Dean at all. Or was it just an excuse to get it to the real recipient – Seth? What was this? Some stupid game? Playing with Seth's mind like that was not nice of her. She thought Seth had nothing better to do than reading a bunch of lies followed by an accusation of being a bad friend? In less than an hour he had to be in the ring. Before that, there was the interview. He had to get ready. He wasn't even fully dressed. Yet he was paying all his attention to the letter.

_I am sorry, Seth. By saying all this, I just wanted to make you see that there's no real reason to despise me. It appears to me that I'm doing exactly the opposite. Moreover, I'm acting like I myself don't like you very much. The truth is I do. I like you, and Roman – although I don't know you personally. But I presume that you both have to be amazing since you're Dean's best friends. He likes to talk about you, you know? And about Renee. He loves her, and I'm glad I could help make that relationship happen. As did you. As did Roman. So why not to be happy we all succeeded and made them realize they belong together? Make love, not war. Have you ever heard of that, Seth, my dear? Don't hate me; I don't believe there's a single reason for you to hate me. All I did was being Dean's friend – does it really have to matter that I used to be his girlfriend? I don't think so. The way I see it, I was Dean's friend, most of all – as you were Renee's. And I loved helping Dean. But it's your turn now. I'm leaving, and he won't be able to consult me about his problems. Now you need to take the responsibility, Seth. Not that Dean needs someone to guide him through life, but there are areas of life in which Dean isn't so experienced. You know that. But don't even think he's going to screw up. I know you think he is, but he's not. Believe in him, for God's sake. Please, let him know you're not going to condemn his decisions – so what if they're instinctive? Be there for him. And for Renee. I don't want to see all the trying to go to waste. Although I suppose I won't be there to see any of it. God. Would it be too much trouble for you to let me know how the story ended? Or don't. I'd like to live in an illusion 'And they lived happily ever after…'_

_Love,_

_Cassie._

That was it. Not a word for Dean.


	84. Chapter 84

A text message arrived early in the morning. At that time, though, Seth was still asleep. When he finally woke up, he had three unread messages and four missed calls. All from Dean. The worst possible scenario filled Seth's mind. What could have happened last night? It was time to find out.

Before proceeding with other morning rituals, Seth – still lying in the bed – grabbed his phone again, which was back on the nightstand where it spent the night. The battery was low but hopefully it would suffice for that one call.

While he waited for the person to pick up, Seth left the bed and started walking around the room, in a rather furious manner. "Come on," Seth insisted. His tone already sounded annoyed and he didn't even know what happened with Dean. What he had possibly done. "Dean," Seth called.

That was when Dean answered, "Yep?"

"Dean! What the hell's up?"

"Oh." Somewhat enthusiastic tone was totally gone. "I've done a terrible mistake," Dean admitted.

Seth sat down. He prepared for the worst. "Oh, God," Seth exclaimed, even before hearing the bad news.

"I . . . last night." Dean had difficulty finding the right words. "Seth, I don't think this is something we should discuss over the phone. Could we meet up?"

"Sure." He put the pressure on the phone with his head and the right shoulder so that he'd free his hands. To save time, he was already gathering the clothes he'd in a minute put on. "Where?"

"Could you come to the bar?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Ok. You're right. How about if you came over to my place?"

"Fine," Seth uttered. Then he asked – as if he forgot about it before – "Is Renee there?"

Something like a bitter chuckle could be heard form Dean's side. Then, "No."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

Seth really appeared to be in a hurry. He sensed the time played a role here. Maybe the disaster had already cast its spell, but the consequences were not final yet. Seth had to keep the believe that even if a terrible thing happened, he could still do something about it if he came soon enough.

On the way to Dean's place, Seth wanted to let Roman know that there was some kind of emergency, but the battery died before he could even get to the point. He was on his own. Just keep a cool head, he reminded himself.

Before getting inside, Seth stopped for a minute. He put his head in his hands and massaged his face. He wanted to put enough pressure on it to make it numb. Make his whole body and mind numb. But that didn't work. Nor could he enter without prejudice.

Dean opened the door with a hand towel over his head. All that he had on was black underwear and a bathrobe with Dean's DA sign on it. Seth looked very disapprovingly at it, but soon he realized there were more important things to focus on right now.

Seth attentively watched Dean's face and tried to analyze what he saw. The results could be summed up in _he fucked up_.

"Come in," Dean said.

That look full of despise on Seth's face was there to stay. He knew he had every right to judge him; he sensed that it was exactly what was expected of him.

"You're gonna tell me what happened, or what?"

"Just sit down first. Please." Dean appeared unusually defenseless. As if he was ready to accept the defeat.

Seth – a little surprised – did as asked. He stopped wandering around the room and sat down, opposite to Dean. But soon Dean himself stood up; he couldn't handle the pressure of being looked at directly.

"Seth, I . . . I don't know what to say. You were right; you have been right all along." Dean looked away. He created a distance between him and the couch that Seth was sitting on.

"Okay," Seth said slowly.

"No. You can say it now. Say'I told you so.'"

"Dean, what happened?" At the moment, Seth appeared more concerned than angry.

Dean sighed heavily. Then he smiled – but it was one of those fucked up smiles when you just refuse the cruel reality. There was nothing funny but he had to smile. "Aah," Dean exclaimed, as though somebody just stabbed him in the back. He made a corresponding back movement too.

"Dean," Seth asked for his attention, and most of all, for sanity. Seth left the couch and came to Dean. "Would you feel better if I told you I'm not gonna condemn you no matter what happened?"

"Yeah," Dean laughed. "You can say it now, but when you learn the truth, you won't even look at me."

"Just say it, damn it!" Seth was losing his temper.

Dean pressed on his eyelids and wrinkled his nose. Then he opened his eyes again, making them look much more bigger than they actually were. "Could you punch me in the face first?" Dean asked.

"No," Seth refused to do him that strange favor.

When Dean seemed to be about to fulfil his wish using his own fist, Seth stopped him. "Is it _that_ bad?" he asked.

"Cassie had a party last night," Dean informed Seth.

"I know."

"Yeah, well . . ."

"You slept with her," Seth guessed, very convinced of the guess being right.

Dean laughed. "Hell. That's the only good thing about last night; I didn't."

For a second, Seth felt relieved. Unfortunately, he realized there was no reason for being happy just yet. He asked, "Then what? You went over, right?"

"Yep."

"Weren't you with Renee last night?"

"Yeah. _Before_. She told me about her conversation with Cassie. She told me Cassie was leaving and that her brother would move into her house. And that she was throwing a going-away party. Renee said I could go for, you know, acceptably short amount of time."

"And you did."

Dean nodded.

"Damn it, Dean! You haven't learned a thing? You _shouldn't_ have gone there." Seth spoke with great irritation.

"I know." Dean didn't even look at him. The guilt was all over him. "But I did. And I really meant to spend only few minutes there, to say goodbye and go, but everybody asked me to drink _this_ and drink _that _and . . ."

"You got drunk. Of course."

Dean had to accept Seth's contempt. He knew it was deserved.

"It was terrible," Dean reflected. "I got absolutely wasted; I had no idea what I was doing. I don't even remember most of the night. Just in the morning I found out."

"Found out what?" Seth asked, afraid of the answer.

"That what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas. Screw this city. It would've never happened if I lived in, say, Cincinnati. I probably said to Cassie that since she was leaving the city, we should go out and really enjoy it, you know. Or something like that, I guess, because I recall a memory of wandering outside. I remember that at one point we were running through the road and we were almost hit by a car. But we both survived," Dean said, and made that frightened expression on Seth's face disappear. Dean was looking abstractly behind Seth – Seth looked too, but there was nothing special. Dean just probably found a good spot that helped him reflect on last night – or early morning. Staring at the wall, he continued, "And of that other event I have only a slight memory. I wasn't aware of what I was doing. There's no way I'd do it intentionally." He looked at Seth to say, "Believe me." Then he returned to the vagueness. "I have no idea how we got there, or _why_, but somehow we got into the chapel and we got married."

Silence that followed didn't last very long. "No. No, no, no, no, _no!_ Fuck you, Dean. Tell me you're lying."

Dean didn't say a thing. He looked like he seriously lacked courage to speak again. After confessing the crime.

"Unbelievable! You're an absolute idiot, you know that? You just screwed up your whole life."

Dean appeared he wanted to say something, maybe remind him that annulment was an option, but in the end, Dean stayed quiet. And it was probably for the best.

"You've seriously let me down. But I guess I should have seen it coming. I should've known you would do something terrible and so, _so stupid_." Then Seth asked, really enjoying that question – for very vicious reasons, "Have you told Renee?"

Finally Dean spoke again. "Yes." The expressionless emotion was hard to maintain and Dean looked like he would break down soon.

"And?" Seth demanded that Dean finish the confession. But Dean couldn't, apparently. "It's over," Seth guessed.

Dean never looked so small in his whole life. And desperate. He didn't even want to talk, but he found the last bit of energy to confirm, "Yes, we broke up."

"I don't even know what to say," Seth replied. He was really angry and, evidently, let down. Startled. Taken back.

"Renee said the same thing," Dean quietly uttered.

"I _knew_ she was making a mistake when she started dating you. You only caused her pain. I _knew_ Cassie was a trouble. Oh," he said with despise, "you two really found each other. Two problematic people who enjoy hurting others, huh?" He breathed heavily. "If you weren't so impulsive. If you_ thought_ for a second," Seth shouted. Then he calmed down – at least tried to. "You're a dick. And _she_," he said with clenched teeth. "She's a lying bitch. Exactly your type, isn't she? Two notorious liars."

"Seth," Dean tried to stop him. He was taking it too far.

"What? Is there more? You got fucking _married_!" he screamed. "Renee left you. Now what? Cassie's staying? You're back together?"

"No," Dean said, calmly.

"Why not? She's your wife now."

"Seth."

"This is her fault just as yours. If not more. You know, I really should have expected something like this from you. But I thought she was better."

"Really?" Dean's skeptical tone indicated he didn't believe him.

"Yes. Ok, I admit, I wasn't always a big of hers, but after she addressed me in that letter –" Dean's surprised expression made Seth stop and explain, "She wrote me a letter, okay?" Then he continued, "I thought that maybe, after all, she was a nice person. That she meant no harm. But I see I was wrong. And in the end, all she did in that letter was lie." Seth didn't even give Dean chance to ask about the letter. Seth didn't want to talk about it now – or ever. "She's a liar just like you." He decided to give a few examples. "She said she would never cheat. That she knows what it's like and wouldn't cause someone that pain. Now she did it. Just like that. No guilt whatsoever. And you know what? She said I should be more supportive of you. But how can I be after this? Do you want me to support this marriage? What if I threw in a wedding gift, huh? You'd like that?"

"She said you should be more supportive of me?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," Seth replied energetically. "She said – well, _wrote_, to be precise – that I don't believe in you. That you cannot count on me."

Dean smiled.

"But I feel like _I_ cannot count on _you_. You're so unreliable. You see what you've done? Are you happy now?"

"Seth, _shut up_." Dean had enough. "Cassie was right. You don't believe in me. You think that I fuck up everything I touch, don't you?"

"Well, prove me wrong."

Dean didn't reply to that challenge. Seth assumed he had nothing to counter his statement with.

Dean walked away.

Seth was alone. He felt a little guilty. But was he supposed to apologize? That made no sense. Dean was the one who did something bad here. Yet Seth couldn't leave it like that. He followed Dean into his bedroom.

There were boxes on the floor as well as on the bed. "What's that?" Seth asked, pointing at the mess.

"I meant to ask Renee if she'd move in with me."

"I guess the whole marriage thing prevented you from asking her that."

"No; I did," Dean said, sitting on the bed.

Seth kept standing by the wall. "What did she say?" Seth asked in a rather provocative manner.

"No."

"Of course."

Dean reflected. "She said she doesn't think Las Vegas is a place where we should be living. So I'm moving to New York to live with her. Then we'll find our own place."

"_What?_"

"Renee and I are moving in together," Dean said casually.

"How's that? You said you broke up."

"Well, we didn't. Also, I didn't get married. I'm not _that_ stupid, Seth."

"You _lied_?"

"Yeah. As you said, it's what I do all the time, isn't?"

"What actually happened?" Seth asked. He wanted to hear it from the beginning because he didn't know what to believe in.

"What happened, you ask? You proved me that you sooner believe something bad that I've supposedly done than that I've done something right."

"You didn't get drunk and marry Cassie?"

"No." Dean laughed. Then he got serious again. "But I don't know how to feel about the fact that you so easily believed that I would." It was hard to tell if Dean was seriously concerned or not. "I wasn't even at her place at all. I told you I was done with her." He paused for a moment to organize his thoughts. "I get that I used to tend to do stupid things and lie, but it's over now. I appreciate all the chances Renee has given too much to screw up again. She trusts me now. It's funny that you're more suspicious of me than she is."

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"The problem is, you expect me to fuck up." He looked at his fingertips, which were rhythmically drumming on the bed.

"Would it make any difference if I said I'm really happy for you?"

For a moment, Seth was worried, but then Dean chuckled. "Yeah," he replied.

"I promise that from now on I'll always believe in you."

"No, you won't, you bastard."

"I'm serious. There won't be any I'm-better-than-you attitude."

"Oh, I know. Because I'll beat that out of you when I return." He stood up and lifted one box off the floor to put it on the bed. Then he turned to Seth, "Now that you're here, could you help me pack?"

Seth looked at him suspiciously. "Is that why you came up with this whole lie? To get me here and help you pack?"

"No," Dean replied, pretending to be offended by that accusation, but one just knew he was lying again.

* * *

><p><strong>One chapter to go.<strong>


	85. Chapter 85

"Maybe it's not such a good idea," Renee uttered, her lips hardly opened. The only reason Dean was able to hear her was that he was right next to her, folding his clothes on his bed. Renee's job was to take the piece that Dean had just finished folding and refold it. She just couldn't be satisfied with the way Dean was doing it.

Dean didn't choose to respond. He was so busy that he didn't even notice Renee's growing sadness.

Now decided to show the true feelings, Renee stopped caring about the clothes and, with one shirt still in her hands, she sat down. She stared abstractedly at Dean's legs, or rather his jeans. The object she was looking at didn't matter anyway.

Only when Dean had problems getting the next T-shirt – because Renee was partly sitting on it – he noticed that something was not quite right. "What's the matter?" he asked. "You changed your mind?"

"No," she laughed. Then she frowned again. "But it'll suck, you know? I'll come home and I'll be there alone. That would be okay, normally," she added. "But when I see your stuff, I'll realize that something's missing."

Dean looked at her understandingly. "I'll spend with you as much time as possible. Besides, it's only temporary. After I finish filming, I'll be with you again." He made her move a little so that he could continue with packing.

"I should feel more enthusiastic about this, shouldn't I?"

"Yes," Dean said to her. "Maybe we're doing it all wrong. Maybe it'd be better if I never mentioned moving in and after I'd be done with the movie, I'd just come to your door with my suitcase and –" he stopped to regroup. "Or I'd take all your things and bring them here."

"No. The way you did it is not the problem, the circumstances are. We are supposed to spend more time together now that we'll be living together. Except that in reality we'll see each other less often."

"But hey, look at it this way. You'll be living with a movie star," Dean joked.

Renee stood up and let Dean take her in her arms. "All I'm saying is that I'll miss you." She went to kiss him on the cheek, but Dean was faster and moved his lips so that she'd kiss _them_. And he made the kiss last.

"I'll miss you too," he whispered afterwards. Briefly he smiled at her while looking directly in her still somewhat sad eyes, then he left her. He walked over to the hi-fi system and turned it on. The volume was high – the way Dean liked it – but he turned it down a bit so that they wouldn't need to shout if they wanted to say something to the other person.

When Dean turned back to Renee, she was packing again. "Leave it," Dean said as he walked toward her. Pretending she didn't hear him, she continued. Only when Dean's arms got on hers he was able to control her actions. "Renee," he said and sighed at the same time. He tried to make her look at him, but he failed the first time. From behind, he leaned to kiss her cheek. He still couldn't see her face, though. Arms wrapped around her, lips lingering on her skin, he absorbed her perfume, just as the soft music. It was not a really slow song, but very emotional one. But that couldn't be the reason for her wet cheek. Struck by the realization, Dean made Renee look at him. Yes, she was weeping. Quietly, wishing for it to go unnoticed. Dean felt wave of coldness run through his body. Not wasting a minute, he pressed his lips against hers. He could feel the tears fall down her face while kissing her. Slowly he created distance between their faces. His eyes stayed locked on hers. She tried to look away – down, or somewhere safe – but he found her; it was impossible to escape him. He dried her tears. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Yes, you are," she objected in a defenseless voice.

"Don't think about it. Now I'm here. _We_'re here. _Together_. That's all that matters now."

"But then –" she couldn't forget.

"Then . . . I'll be right back. You won't even notice I'm gone."

"Right," she said sarcastically, and laughed briefly.

"Renee." He reassessed the strategy he had been using until now. Well, it wasn't even a strategy. It was just saying something that most people would say in similar situation – according to Dean. But he never was like other people. He always dealt with all sort of situations differently. "Renee," he repeated, getting her attention. But he lost her again – she possibly got distracted by something behind Dean. She tilted her head to look over Dean's shoulder. There was a closet. Inside, on a hanger, a dress. Hypnotized, she walked over to it to look at it more closely. There was no remainder of tears on her face. As if she had long forgotten about Dean's break from WWE to play in a movie. Now the dress got all her attention. Long sleeveless dress of light yellow color. Very comfortable to touch. Material? Silk. The dress was all the way to the floor. The dust on the bottom, but Renee didn't care for it. "I haven't seen it in forever," she spoke.

"What?"

"How long ago is it?" Renee asked, reflecting.

Now Dean looked more closely. At first he didn't understand what she was talking about, but now he understood. Suddenly standing next to Renee, he said, "Over a year, I believe."

"You remember?" she asked, surprised. Her eyes caught his for a second, then returned to the dress.

"Of course."

"I forgot all about it."

"That was the deal, wasn't it? We were meant to forget."

"I guess, yeah."

"You said you didn't want anyone to know."

"Have you –"

"No." He smiled. "I've never told anyone."

Renee nodded.

Dean said, "But it would be interesting if others knew."

"No!" she said – or shouted – abruptly.

A harmless laughter came from Dean.

"Please, don't."

Dean took the dress out. It looked clean; he took good care of it – at least he did _his_ best. "Put it on."

Renee smiled; she didn't really have a reason to object. "Okay." Dean handed her the dress so that she'd go to the bathroom to change. She could do it right there, in Dean's bedroom, in front of him, but she'd like to see herself in the mirror before he'd see her.

Instead of passively waiting for her to appear in the door, looking charming as she certainly would, he found himself an outfit to wear. Once he promised Renee to dress up nicely so that she wouldn't be ashamed of him – which she never really was, but still – and go with her out, just like that. Because, why not? He never got to do that. But he didn't want for the promise to stay just empty words. Now it seemed to be the right opportunity. They had time, they had ideal clothes in hand, and they had the city. But most of all, they were by themselves. Pressurized by nothing and no one.

In two minutes, Dean was staring at his reflection in the mirror, wearing tuxedo, adjusting the tie. His hair looked pretty good at that moment. The shoes could be a little more shiny but . . . His mind got distracted, his body as well. His breath had been taken away.

Renee stood behind him, in a dress that she hadn't put on since 2013. Actually, she wore it just once or twice.

"Sir," Renee said, before Dean had chance to look at her directly, "may I compliment on your appearance?" she asked politely.

Then he turned around. No words got out of his mouth. Maybe because none got formed in his mind. His brain didn't focus on coming up with something clever to say, it was gasping what the eyes saw. It was picturing the exact same girl in exact same dress, just on a whole other occasion. It was comparing.

"Your hair was . . ." Dean broke off. He had her hair in his hands, attempting at recreating the image his brain held from one night a year ago.

Unreadable expression was on both their faces. They were hypnotized by each other. Their eyes trying to reconnect. Dean's will was not strong enough to keep working on Renee's hair. He was focusing on her eyes, such heavenly eyes. All his senses were occupied. The music got his hearing and Renee got the rest. Well . . . the taste . . . His hands slipped down her face and stayed on her neck for a moment. Her hair fell on her shoulders, only one wisp stayed on her face, before her eyes. Dean took it away without really looking at it because his eyes were set on the lips that he meant to kiss. Slowly, with care. He acted as though Renee was a porcelain doll that could break easily, so he needed to be really gentle with her. He needed to take good care of his tender angel.

Pausing the kiss, smiling, Dean whispered, "I'll be back, and then . . ."

"And then?" she asked.

"Then, my darling . . ." He didn't finish. His lips refused to obey.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks all of you for reading. If it wasn't for you, I would have never spent six months writing a story, and I certainly wouldn't have finished it. Thanks for staying with me for so long (al least for me it's a long time). For those of you asking "Is that it?", my answer is yes, sort of. I plan to write a sequel to <em>Trust Me, Darling<em>, probably untitled _Forever, Darling_. Again, with Dean and Renee as protagonists. But that would be when Dean finishes his movie, if at all. Until then (or until I decide to write something else - or finish a story), bye. **


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